It was a fine spring morning. With you still in her belly, she couldn't control what she felt. She knew you had courage, love, and pain. She told me you'd be the one to endure the pain, the lifeless world, the hopeless melancholy. Even before your birth, she told me you had what the world needed...love and life.
How proud would Queen Leila be to watch her little princess become a queen today? She always prayed for you, for a daughter." Maansa's voice was a soothing murmur as she tightened the corset of my golden coronation dress.
Reflections reveal what you are. I stood frozen before the massive mirror, surrounded by a flurry of pretty faces and Maansa's expert hands, preparing me for my coronation.
I was stepping into the place my mother once owned. A throne for which people murdered their loved ones, like my mother was murdered. I was about to claim my power in her place. But how could I? How could I deserve something so sacred? Something so profane. It was not my desire. My desire was blood—the blood of the one who took my mother's life.
"Maansa! Who am I? I don't think I deserve this throne."
"Right is yours only until you consider it undeserved, daughter! Why do you think so? You are the only one born with golden blood. You have the power to rule, and to rule hearts profoundly." Maansa cupped my face, her eyes filled with a motherly warmth.
But how do I tell her I am not ready? My blood boils every time I see that sword on the wall of the main hall, streaked with silver and gold blood.
With the blood of my mother and her killer.
"Maansa, I am not ready. I don't need the throne, please."
"Are you out of your mind, princess?" Her voice trembled, fear glistening in her eyes. She knew I was on the verge of throwing the future of my people to the wolves.
We all knew that the conjoint kingdom of Zephyr was ruled by greedy wolves. The moment I stepped down from my throne, our neighbors—cousins of cousins, our partners in royalty—would seize it.
Moreover, Prince Lykos from Bersek would be throned the king. He was the most capable, strong, and yet brutally cruel.
I took a deep breath, sighed, and asked her, "Maansa, you are wise. Tell me, what do you see in my eyes?"
"I have been with your family since before your mother's birth and now the child asks the mother what she thinks?" She paused briefly, then continued, "I see kindness and sympathy in them, like the queen did."
"You are wrong. They hold rage—for revenge."
"You know this is a conjoint kingdom, which means if you step down, the Berseks will take the throne. All the sacrifices Queen Leila made for her people, for us... Do you want them to go in vain? What she had to..." Maansa's voice broke, tears filling her eyes as if begging me to read between her words.
"Maansa, can you please tell me what happened to my mother? For once, I beg you, I need to know."
"I can't. It's never my story to tell. The past must be buried in the past. When you pull something dead from the grave, it stinks and hurts us with its scent and sight. There is no good in that. The past is what we left behind; we must not allow it to conjure curses upon us."
"I command you!" I hated how I had to yell at her.
Maansa was my nanny. She had cared for me since my mother left me, the day I was born. Though I never bragged about being the princess, I had to do it because I knew only one fact: someone killed my mother. Other than that, I was told nothing.
"The ancient law proclaimed that in conjoint kingdoms, the daughter of royal blood would be first in line to rule. Your mother ruled for almost twenty years. When she started to have dreams about your birth, she knew you were a daughter. It was illegal to hide, but she did that for your safety. But eventually, the Berseks found out. So before your birth, a clan of the most powerful soldiers was sent by King Kilont to kill your mother. She was weak, injured, and carrying you. But she fought with all her strength until her last breath. You were born the day after the fight.
You were born when everything shattered. You were born to bring peace, harmony, and love. You were born to undo the wrong, to reconcile what had been destroyed. No one knew about the murder or the fight. Neither king confessed because he knew everything he had would be gone too. The queen never told anyone about him, never asked for revenge either. She forgave him because she knew it was her time to leave.
"But what about the sword with silver and gold blood on it?"
"Some say a truce was signed, but later that night, one of the king's sons came."
The loathing boiled my blood.
"How could you give up this throne for which your mother fought? People need you. They need kindness and love, and she knew you'd provide it. How could you abandon something that has the blood of your mother?"
"Okay then. I'll take it back, but only when I have my revenge. I cannot rule knowing the murderer of my mother is alive and unpunished. But how would I know which one it was? As far as I remember, the king had three sons."
"Yes... Haoon was poisoned by his wife before the incident, leaving Lykos and Pyze. No one knows which one it was, but Prince Lykos is known to be the deadliest and most unmerciful. Last year he burnt entire villages. He is the coldest and harshest prince this kingdom has ever seen. Once you leave this throne and if he becomes king, he will be handed the lunar powers too. You know what that means. Our kingdom will be doomed. So please, stop."
"Maansa, please tell the people that the princess they were about to see crowned queen is abandoning her place. Let the news reach Bersek. I want my fighting equipment ready by noon."
I am coming for you, Prince Lykos.