Kirzin was a man of everyone's dreams: women loved him, and men envied him. He was the most handsome incubus in this dungeon and no one could disagree with it.
He lived in a perfect but ignorant world, thinking that everyone would fall for him. He was that kind of narcissist.
So now, seeing the beautiful "woman" in front of him, surrounded by everyone as "she" introduced "herself," was tempting. He wanted "her" and would get "her."
Kirzin glanced at Ashtarot, who had just finished speaking with Inari and was walking toward him.
"I know what you're thinking. Don't even try it," Ashtarot told him firmly with a sour face.
He knew his coworker couldn't keep his dick in his pants, he get annoyed with him from time to time. Especially that black shirt that he never buttoned, he didn't need to flaw his abbs, everyone knows how much those tight clothes held onto his body.
Kirzin squinted his eyes in suspicion. "Are you interested in her? That's rare. You have the sisters already. That should be enough for you!" He patted his friend's shoulder.
Ashtarot irked, slapped his hand away and brushed his shoulder clean. "She? He is a man—a grown-up, healthy, and straight man. He has things dangling inside his kimono. HE IS A MAN."
Kirzin widened his eyes and scratched his head in disbelief. "You're joking, right? He totally sounds like a girl!"
Moloch, overhearing their conversation, chimed in. "Ha! Eat that, Kirzin! Not everyone exists just so you can mess with them."
Kirzin flicked his temple, saying, "Shut up. Man, woman—what's the difference? Where there's a hole, there's a way."
"Ew... That's gross," Moloch replied, looking at him with disgust.
"You think you deserve to say that while you, yourself, are a lolicon?" Kirzin's words dripped with sarcasm.
"YOU! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THA—"
Before Moloch could continue, his mouth was covered by Kirzin. "Shhh, just let me be with anyone I want."
His veins started to pop out from his temple as he tried to protest, but his sound was muffled by Kirzin's hand.
"So, what's his deal? Why is he dressed like that? Is that some kind of freaky hobby?" Kirzin asked nonchalantly.
Ashtarot rubbed his chin, pondering how to answer that question. "It's a preference. Inari is from the youkai race, specifically a youkai kitsune."
"They engulf human life force to live a long life and stay young. Because of that, their appearance reflects the life force they consume, whether it comes from a man or a woman," he explained.
"Hmmm... I see..." Kirzin's eyes darted from Inari to Ashtarot as he got close and whispered, "Does he can change from a pole to a hole down there?"
Ashtarot frowned, partly because the question was inappropriate and partly because he didn't know. He took the question seriously and became curious himself.
"Why don't you find out yourself?" he challenged Kirzin.
He was taken aback by Ashtarot's response but then laughed, tapping his shoulder repeatedly. "I didn't know you were freaky like that! Haha."
"Well, I'm going to ask him out then!" he said, walking closer to Inari, leaving his friends behind.
"Oiii!!! Is it alright to just leave him be?" Moloch suddenly said, "Don't you hate it when he flirts or makes a move when he's supposed to be working?"
"It's fine... It's not working hours yet," Ashtarot smiled, though it looked more like a menacing grin.
"What? Why does your expression look like that?" Moloch inquired, his body shivering since his friend rarely smiled, and when he did, it often meant something horrible was about to happen.
Suddenly, the sound of something hitting the ground reverberated inside the room. It was so loud everyone could hear it.
"YOU ASSHOLE!!! HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!! PERVERT! DIE! DIE!"
It was Inari, shouting at Kirzin, who was pinned underneath him. His small frame had somehow managed to subdue him, his hands around Kirzin's neck, making him struggle to breathe and move.
"AKH! STOP! STOP!!! I'M SORRY!"
Kirzin screamed in pain, his right hand trying to loosen Inari's grip while his other hand hit the ground in desperation.
"NO! JERK! PERVERT! DIE!"
Inari's face contorted in anger, his voice turning hoarse and baritone. His face and hands were full of popping veins, making the scene horrifying to look at. No one dared to intervene.
"ASHTAROT! MOLOCH! HELP!!!!" Kirzin exclaimed, almost out of breath.
Moloch was flabbergasted, looking between Kirzin and Ashtarot. "You knew this would happen, didn't you?"
Ashtarot nodded with determination. "He needed to be taught a lesson. Not everyone wants to be fucked by him."
"Also, Inari hates men with all his might. That's why he dresses up as a woman."
Ashtarot sometimes despised Kirzin. He worked in the Health and Welfare Division, acting as a support system to ensure workers were healthy physically and mentally.
This role made him a kind of therapist, especially for dungeon bosses on the lower floors who faced immense stress from being constant punching bags for human adventurers. They needed someone to talk to and support them.
He sleeps around with his patients. Ashtarot didn't mind with it since Kirzin works diligently, the problem was they fucked everywhere.
He once saw them fucked in the hallway, making him late for the meeting. With that, he swears he would give a harsh lesson to Kirzin.
As Moloch laughed hard enough to nearly fall to the ground, he pointed at Kirzin. "Eat that shit, Kirzin! You deserve it!" He continued laughing non-stop, his face turning red.
"YOU ASSHOLE! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?!!!" Kirzin shouted, his annoyance growing alongside his pain.
Inari didn't let go until Kirzin was faint. Realizing he had caused a scene on his first day, Inari apologized to his coworkers, who sympathized with his frustration and believed Kirzin deserved the punishment.
Ashtarot smiled brightly, his mood elevated by the spectacle. Moloch was still laughing so hard he ended up on the ground, weakened by his mirth.
Kirzin remained unconscious on the floor, sprawled out without dignity. He had learned a lesson, and everyone present knew he deserved it.