"No, you're lying! Please Dad! Tell me you're *sob* tell me you're joking! PLEASE!"
Reggie immediately broke down, and it broke my heart even more to see him like this. "Reggie- "No! No Fal! You said I was overthinking it! So this can't be happening! This can't be happening!" Reggie was spiraling, and try as I might to calm him down, he was hysterical.
"Fal, This is a joke right? Like that time you told me Jesse and Jay were moving away right? Any second now Mom's gonna walk through that door and-" "ENOUGH!" Dad yelled, cutting him off. "Alice- You're mother is dead and gone Reginald! The sooner you accept it and quit whining, the better it will be for us all." Dad said angirly and stomped to his room. Reggie broke down and ran up to his room as well. I quickly dashed towards his room, guilty that I hadn't stopped Dad from yelling at him. "Reggie? Reggie please open the door, Reggie?" I banged at his locked door, but I got no answer. I sighed and with my back against the door, I sat down.
"Look, Reggie, I know you're hurt, believe me, I know how you feel, I know it feels like everything is dark and hopeless, but no matter how much neither of us want it to be true, she's gone, it hurts so, so much to say, but it's true. And we have to accept it. If Mom were here-" "BUT SHE ISN'T HERE FAL! And I don't want to here any of what you have to say so just leave." My anger blazed at that. "YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE SAD RIGHT NOW?! CAN'T YOU SEE THE PAIN DAD IS IN?! THE PAIN THAT I-" I paused and took a deep breath to suppress my emotions. Reggie didn't need this right now.
*Look Reggie, we're all sad right now, and in times like this, we're supposed to be there for each other. I don't want us to suffer alone, so please, just-" I heard the door being unlocked and quickly rose to me feet as Reggie opened the door and jumped intoy waiting arms, sobbing. "She's gone Fal, she's *sob* she's gone! FAL!" My heart broke in time with his cries. "Yeah, I know, but we'll grieve together okay? It will be you and me against the world okay? Siblings forever." Reggie just cried louder and hugged me tighter as a run me fingers through his hair in an effort to soothe him. And for the first time since I heard the news, tears fell down my face.
+++
It had been six years since Mom died and we'll, everything became terrible. Dad has been spiraling into depression and it gets worse everyday. Sometimes, he would blame us for Mom's death. "Everything was fine until you two showed up! She was healthier! Prettier! And we were happier! We should have never even had children! I certainly never wanted kids! But no, she had to have you two, even when I told her her body probably wouldn't be able to handle it! 'These kids will be the light of our life!' She used to say. Some light you turned out to be." Yeah, he would go on rants like this a lot, although he was drunk when he went on most of these rants, it still hurt to hear, but I tried not to take any of it to heart, he was just grieving afterall. Unfortunately, the things he said got to Reggie. Who speaking of, became really antisocial and quiet after Mom's death. It was sad to see him turn into a shell of his former happy self.
"Fal, do you think Dad is right about us?"
"What? No! Don't you ever believe what he says okay! He's just sad, and hurt and angry at Mom's death! And you know how people say things they don't mean when they are upset." "But just because he's upset doesn't mean he should take it out on us!" Reggie said indignantly. " "I know Reggie, but he's grieving! Just...give hime some time okay? I'm sure he'll come around." I said, even though I didn't really believe what I was saying, but I had to say it for Reggie's sake. "It's been six years Fal! He should have 'come around' ages ago!" Reggie said bitterly.
"Well, Dad's not the only one who's still grieving. Your social life just disappeared after Mom died Mr Antisocial."
"Well, in my defense, most of my 'friends' were sniveling children who abandoned me when I was at my lowest! If anything it's a good thing I left those bastards."
"Sniveling children? Reggie you were like, six, and so were they! How were they supposed to comfort someone who lost a parent, when they hadn't fully comprehended the concept of death in the first place?" I said incredulously.
"Whatever." Reggie said. "Besides, I was always antisocial."
"Right." I said dryly. "So all those times you dragged me to park to play with Jesse and Jay 'the greatest friends a child could have' your words not mine, was you being antisocial?"
"Yes, yes it was."
Cheeky brat.
"Besides, they were and still are the greatest friends I could ask for."
I chuckled at that, well at least it wasn't all bad for Reggie.
"But what about you? How are you holding up?"
"I'm doing just fine Reggie."
Reggie furrowed his brows at that.
"Oh please, your friend circle consists of a diva obsessed with hot pink and a girl who spends so much time watching movies and obsessing over boys that she doesn't have any left to be a functioning seventeen year old, that is not being 'fine'." I frown at that and grabbed him by the ear.
"First of all, don't insult Madison and Belle like that and second of all yes, I am doing fine! So stop worrying! That's my job!"
"Ow! Okay, Okay I'm sorry." Reggie said his face scrunched up in pain as he tried and failed to stop me from pulling his ear. The perks of being the older sibling. I chuckled and let go of his ear.
"But seriously Fal, if you aren't doing okay, please tell me, you haven't done much to express your grief since Mom died. Please don't bottle up your feelings okay! You're the one who said we shouldn't suffer alone."
I paused a bit at Reggie sincere tone, ever since Mom's death he had become so jaded that it was rare to see him like this. It made me smile.
"Reggie, I would be lying if I said I don't get sad sometimes, but Mom would want us to move on! And seeing you happy gives me the strength to carry on. So if you really want me to be fine, smile more often 'kay?" Reggie smiled softly. "Okay."