Chereads / Demon Prince is Resurrected / Chapter 20 - I'm sorry, old friend

Chapter 20 - I'm sorry, old friend

His eyes widened, and his breath became ragged. Sweat started to fall from his head and his heart felt as if it was about to stop

[-System Warning-]

Heartbeat is becoming unstable

The system's warning blared in his ears, and Yuto could feel his heart slamming against his chest, its rhythmic beat growing erratic and frenzied

He clutched at his chest, feeling the rapid, wild pulse beneath his fingertips. "What...?" he gasped, his voice a strangled sound

The room seemed to spin around him, and he felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. Cold sweat broke out on his forehead, and he forced himself to take deep, steadying breaths in an attempt to regulate his breathing and slow his rapidly beating heart

"Alice?"

No, it couldn't be her, but why just why? Does she sound the same, her tone or voice playing on cheerful but calm, sorrow, and happiness 

The world seemed to tilt and twist around him, the familiar voice piercing through the haze of shock and confusion. His heart hammered in his chest as he tried to respond, but his voice lodged in his throat, trapped by a mix of conflicting emotions

"Why?" he managed to croak out, his voice barely above a whisper

Passive: Cold-Blooded is now active

Yuto's heart felt as though it would burst from his chest, the erratic beats growing more frenzied by the minute. But suddenly, a wave of cold calm washed over him. He could feel his heart rate slowly returning to normal, the wild pounding calming down to a steady rhythm. As his mind regained its focus, he realized the effects of his passive skill, "Cold-Blooded"

The world around him stabilized, and the dizzy sensation faded. His sweaty palms dried, and his breaths grew deep and measured. He clutched at his chest, feeling the steady, rhythmic thump of his heart beneath his hand, now returned to a calmer pace

With his heart rate under control, he took a moment to compose himself. He knew the effect of "Cold-Blooded" allowed him to maintain a cold, logical state of mind even in the most stressful or emotional situations. Yet, even with its help, the mere mention of her name had thrown him off balance

"Come in"

There was a brief silence before the door creaked open, and a figure appeared in the doorway. The silhouette was unmistakably Alice's, her slender form framed by the light spilling in from the hallway

Yuto's breath caught in his throat, his heart skipping at the sight of her. She was as lovely as ever, her hair cascading down her shoulders in soft waves, her eyes holding a familiar sparkle

It took a moment for him to find his voice, his mind still reeling from the shock of her unexpected presence

Without a doubt, it was Alice, his Alice, the friend who disappeared two years ago, but if she was alive why didn't she visit him?

He struggled to find the right words, his emotions a tangled mess. He wanted to jump up and embrace her, to assure himself she was truly real

Yet, a cold, logical part of his mind insisted on keeping his distance, maintaining the icy grip of his passive skill

["I am currently Princess Rosalind, not Yuto Akimitsu, I must not let my emotions control me"]

Even as his heart ached to reach out to her, he forced himself to maintain his composure. He sat up a bit straighter in bed, his expression carefully neutral. "Alice, I wasn't expecting to see you," he said, his voice carefully controlled

"Well, I heard you suffered quite the injury, Your Highness, I can't let my benefactor be in such pain alone"

"I appreciate your concern, Alice, but I'm just fine," he replied his tone just a hint softer than usual

"Well I brought the wine you requested, jeez if the people knew that you preferred wine instead of green tea"

Yuto's eyes couldn't help but flick to the bottle in her hands, and for a moment, he was tempted to ask for a glass. But he quickly dismissed the thought

"Ah, right," he said, returning his gaze to her face. "Thank you, you can just put it down on the bedside table"

As Alice placed the bottle on the bedside table, Yuto couldn't help but notice the gleam of admiration in her eyes as she looked at it. A small, amused smile tugged at the corners of his lips

"You seem to be taken with my taste in wine," he noted, his voice carrying a hint of playful derision

"I only like to try the best, nothing less," Alice replied, a hint of a smile on her lips. She stepped back from the bedside table, her gaze roaming over Yuto's form, taking in the sight of him still dressed in his open shirt, the bandage wrapped around his chest visible

"Despite being in pain you are acting different your Highness"

Yuto raised an eyebrow, a flicker of surprise in his eyes. "Different, how so?" he asked, carefully schooling his expression

"Your tone reminds me of an old friend"

Yuto's heart skipped a beat, but he did his best to maintain a cool exterior. An old friend? Could she be referring to who he thought she was?

"Is that so?" he replied, his voice carefully neutral. "And who would this old friend be?"

The corners of Alice's lips curved into a small, knowing smile. "Oh, just someone I knew a long time ago. Your mannerisms, the way you speak, it's all very familiar," she said, her tone nonchalant, yet there was a hint of something more behind her words

Yuto's heart felt as if it was lodged in his throat. Her words, the familiarity she detected in him, confirmed what he had begun to suspect. But he wasn't about to give himself away just yet

He took a deep breath, maintaining his cool demeanor. "Is that right?" he said, a touch of casual indifference in his voice

"Yes, it is," Alice confirmed, her gaze unwavering. She stepped closer to the bed, her eyes fixed on Yuto's face. "You remind me so much of him, so much so, if I didn't know any better, I would say…"

Her voice trailed off, leaving the sentence hanging in the air. Yuto's heart pounded in his chest, a mix of excitement and fear welling inside him. He stared back at her, his gaze unwavering, waiting for her to finish her thought

Alice's face wore a contemplative expression, her eyes studying Yuto's features carefully. "If I didn't know any better," she repeated, her voice growing softer, more intimate, "I would say you were him"

"Distasteful, to compare me to a mere peasant," Yuto said to derail the conversation 

["Even if I have to come off as cold, I can not even for a second let her suspect my identity"]

Yuto's voice was colder than usual, and his expression was carefully schooled into a disapproving frown. "How could one even compare a royal princess to a lowly peasant?"

Alice flinched slightly at Yuto's cold tone, her expression faltering for a brief moment. It was clear his harsh words had stung, but she quickly rallied, her composure regaining. "Right, of course," she replied, a hint of disappointment coloring her voice

"My apologies, Your Highness, I never meant to undermine your status in any way"

Yuto felt a pang of guilt at the hurt in her eyes, but he couldn't let his feelings waver. He had to keep up the facade, maintain his royal image. "See that it doesn't happen again," he said sternly, his voice brooking no argument

Alice nodded, her gaze dropping to the floor as she seemed to shrink back a little. The joyful spark in her eyes had been dampened, replaced by a slight hint of hurt and vulnerability

An unpleasant knot formed in Yuto's stomach at the sight, but he forced himself to continue the charade

"Your Highness, no is around, correct?"

Yuto glanced around the room, confirming that they were indeed alone. He could hear no other voices or sounds coming from the hall outside his door. "Yes, we're alone," he confirmed, turning his gaze back to Alice, his expression still cold and aloof

"Well then, for our plan to work, do you have the 4th Tier mages ready?"

Yuto blinked, momentarily taken aback. This topic shift was unexpected, yet intriguing. 

["Wait what, what is she talking about, what where her and Rosalind talking about?"]

"Miss Marie, please remind me of this little plan of ours?"

["Please tell me, I have no idea what your talking about"]

Alice gave him a sideways look, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Don't tell me you've forgotten," she said, her voice laced with a hint of irritation

Yuto swallowed, his heart quickening its pace. He searched his mind, trying to recall any mention of a plan involving mages. Yet, his memory came up blank

["That was the original Rosalind, not me. How the hell will I know?"]

"Do not raise your voice at me!"

Alice flinched at his sharp tone, her eyes widening in surprise. She clearly hadn't expected such a harsh response. "I...My apologies, Your Highness, I didn't mean to raise my voice," she said hastily, her voice soft and submissive

Yuto silently cursed himself internally. He hadn't meant to speak so harshly, but his frustration was getting the better of him. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down 

["Come on, Yuto, control yourself! She thinks your Rosalind, don't make her suspicious"]

"No, no, it's alright," he said, his voice a touch softer than before. "Just...refresh my memory, what was the plan again?"

Alice looked at him in uncertainty for a moment, her eyes still a little wide from the previous outburst. However, seeing his softer tone, she seemed to relax a little

"The plan, Your Highness," she said, her voice steadier this time, "involves deploying our 4th Tier mages in the upcoming offensive against the Demon King's army"

Yuto almost spit out the wine he was drinking, his eyes practically bulging out of his eyes

["What? Why would Alice involve herself in something so dangerous, wait a minute . . ."]

"Does this have something to do with your hometown?"

Alice flinched again at his words, her eyes widening in surprise. It was as if she hadn't expected Yuto to make that connection

"Yes, Your Highness," she admitted, her voice quiet, "it does"

["Alice . . ."]

"Is it about the boy you were talking about earlier?"

Alice's eyes flicked to the side, her expression becoming guarded. She was clearly trying to hide her true feelings, but Yuto could see the hint of a reaction there

"Yes, it is," she said quietly, her voice holding a hint of pain

Yuto's heart ached at the sight of her expression. He could only guess at the pain she was feeling just from talking about it, but he couldn't exactly comfort her as himself

["Dammit! I want to comfort her so badly, but I can't!"]

He wanted desperately to ask more, to demand she tell him the whole story, but he knew that doing so would rouse suspicion. Instead, he steeled himself, forcing his voice to remain detached

"I see," he said, his tone casual. "And what exactly is your connection to this boy?"

Alice looked at him for a moment, her eyes a little wary. She seemed to be struggling with something, debating whether to speak or not. Then, she took a deep breath

"He...he was someone special to me," she said quietly, her voice wavering slightly. "Someone I cared about...very deeply"

Her words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken emotion. Yuto could feel the weight of her pain, even through the barrier of his cold facade

His heart ached with the need to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be okay. But he forced himself to remain silent, his expression carefully neutral

["Wow, she talks as if I died or something"]

"So what happened?"

Alice let out a shaky breath, her eyes glazing over slightly as she recalled the memory

"There was a demonic raid on our village," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I managed to escape, but I never saw him, I knew he was busy, but his family's cabin was destroyed"

["I wasn't there, well I did forget to tell her I was leaving but I wasn't dead"]

"What did you do afterwards?"

"I...I left the village," she said, her voice growing a bit firmer as she tried to fight back the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. "I couldn't bear to stay there anymore, not without him. So I left, to find something...anything that might make me feel useful, worthy"

["Alice, I . . ."]

"I spent years wandering, training, trying to become stronger," she said, her voice trembling slightly. "I wanted to be able to protect those who couldn't protect themselves, to make sure no one else had to experience the same pain I did"

"Did you ever check back on your village? As for as I know, that village was saved"

A flicker of surprise crossed Alice's face, her eyes widening slightly. "You...you know about that?" she asked, her voice tinged with awe

["Do I tell her? Will she even believe something so outrageous?"]

Yuto was at a crossroads. He could feel the truth bubbling up in his throat, but he knew he couldn't risk revealing himself, not yet. He struggled to keep his expression cool, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts

"Yes," he found himself saying, "I'm aware of it." His mind raced, trying to figure out how much to reveal, how much he could get away with without blowing his cover

Alice's eyes widened further, a mix of disbelief and wonder in her gaze. "You...you know what happened after I left?" she asked, her voice a mix of hope and desperation

"His name, what was his name?"

"His...his name..." Alice's voice trailed off, a wave of memories flowing into her mind, her face turning even more vulnerable as those memories played out in her mind. After a few moments, she managed to compose herself enough to speak again

"His name..." Her voice was quieter now, more intimate, "His name was Yuto. Yuto Akimitsu"

["I feel shitty doing this"]

"He's alive, Miss Marie. I do background checks on those close to me. Of course, I know about the boy you care about"

For a moment, confusion and disbelief washed over Alice's face. Then, her eyes widened as the words sank in. "Y...he's alive?" she breathed, her voice barely audible. "You're sure?"

Yuto saw the hope and relief shining in her eyes, and it tugged at his heart. He longed to tell her everything, to assure her that he was fine, that he was sorry for not telling her he was leaving

But he forced himself to remain in character, his voice steady, his expression controlled

"Yes," he confirmed, his voice maintaining its chill, "I have solid intelligence that he is alive and well. And he hasn't forgotten about you either"

The words were out before he could stop himself. It was a risky move, a hint that he knew more than Rosalind ever could, but he couldn't help it. The truth was burning inside him

"And, he regrets his past action of not telling you this"

For a second, Alice saw Yuto overlapping Rosalind's image, "That he loves you as well"

Alice's mind was working overtime, struggling to process this sudden revelation. Her breathing hitched, her eyes darted from Yuto's eyes to his face, searching

"He...he loves me," she repeated, the words slipping out in a breathless whisper, "H-how do you know that?"

["Well fuck I thought it was going to be one of those I won't ask but I accept kind of situation"]

"Anyone could tell from the way you describe him"

Alice was floored, her emotions at war with one another. She desperately wanted it to be true, yet her mind was still grappling with disbelief, with the possibility that it could all be a cruel joke

Yet, even as the thoughts spun in her head, her heart was already beginning to hope, to yearn for those words to be true

"I...I can hardly believe it," she croaked, her voice thick with emotion

Yuto struggled to maintain his composure. It was killing him to see her like this, to know the truth but not be able to act on it. He wanted to take her in his arms and assure her that it was all true, that he loved her with all his heart. But he held himself back, his expression still cold, his voice controlled

["Man, I should buy Mizuki a gift when I see her again"]

Yuto swallowed back the urge to laugh bitterly at his own situation. He could imagine how baffled Mizuki would be when he finally told her everything. But that was a worry for another day. For now, he had to focus on the situation at hand. On Alice

She was still standing there, her face a mixture of shock, hope, and uncertainty. Her eyes were searching his face, looking for any sign of deception, any hint of falsehood. After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke, her voice tremulous

"If...if he really is alive," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, "if he really still cares about me...then why didn't he come back? Why has he never tried to find me?"

[". . ., because I thought you died, because I needed to be strong for my mother and sister, to fill the void my father left"]

But he knew deep down, he was just making excuses

Why didn't he try harder?

Why did he give up after only three days?

"Maybe because he thought you left him, that you passed away"

Alice was silent for a moment, her eyes still searching Yuto's face, as if she was trying to discern the truth from his expression. Then, she looked down, her eyes fixed on the floor

"But...even then," she said quietly, "wouldn't he have tried to find me? To confirm whether I was alive or not?"

["I know, I know I should have tried harder"]

Yuto's heart clenched painfully. He knew now, just how badly he had failed her. He had given up. He had assumed the worst and not bothered to check

He had left her alone, believing she was dead, when she was still alive and waiting for him. He was the reason she had suffered all these years

As the realization sunk in, Yuto felt a deep, aching sense of guilt. He had been so focused on his own pain, on his own loss, that he had failed to consider how his disappearance might have affected her

He wanted nothing more than to apologize, to tell her how sorry he was for putting her through all this. But he couldn't, not without revealing his true identity

He watched silently as Alice continued to stare at the ground, her expression a mixture of pain, disappointment, and...longing? It was hard to tell exactly with the way she was looking down

But Yuto could feel the unspoken emotions in the air, could sense the depth of her yearning, her loneliness

"Alice, it's. . ."

["Do I even have any right to confess? Mizuki accepted me, and she supported me. Am I being selfish?"]

As the words hung in the air, Yuto found himself grappling with his thoughts. In truth, he was being selfish, incredibly so. He had no right to confess to Alice when he already had Mizuki waiting for him. And yet, the depth of his feelings for Alice, the pain and guilt he felt for abandoning her, made it impossible for him to stay silent

"It's..." he started, his voice faltering

["I know Mizuki said it was okay for me to have more partners, but it feels wrong"]

"Is something wrong, your Highness?"

"Alice, it's me"

Alice's head snapped up at his words, eyes that had seemed dull and resigned mere moments ago now wide and filled with shock, and . . .hope?

"Excuse me, your Highness?"

"I... You..." Alice's voice trailed off, her mouth opening and closing in disbelief. She took a step closer to Yuto, her eyes roving over his face, as if looking for a sign, any hint that he was messing with her

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am possessing the princess body to learn about the truth behind my father's death"

Alice stared at him for a few more moments, an array of emotions flickering across her face as she processed his words. It was clear she was struggling to come to terms with the idea, her eyes still searching his face for any hint of deception

"You...you expect me to believe that?" she said, her voice wavering slightly

Yuto let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly. He knew it was a difficult pill to swallow, even for her. "I know it's a lot to ask, but please believe me," he said, his voice earnest. "I swear I'm telling the truth"

Alice's face flickered with indecision, her eyes still wide and filled with doubt. She was silent for a few moments, her mind clearly grappling with the revelation. Then, she spoke again, her voice hesitant

"P-please do not lie to me, do not make a mockery of my past"

"Remember when we went swimming, and a cat based monster appeared"

Alice's eyes widened momentarily as the memory flashed through her mind, the memory clearly unexpected. After a moment of surprise, her expression turned contemplative, as if she was trying to connect the dots

"You screamed for help, and I picked up a stick to protect you, we were both afraid, but I held my ground as you hid behind me, lucky enough, my father came to save us in time"

Alice's face softened as Yuto continued speaking, the memory playing out vividly in both their minds

"You told me afterwards how I looked cool and stupid at the same time, a foolish action but brave as well"

A small smile tugged at the corners of Alice's mouth. Even now, she could recall that moment with surprising clarity

"You said, Yuto, you are stupid and reckless, but thank you"

She remembered those words, the mixture of annoyance and gratitude plain even then. His foolishness hadn't been the issue, rather the risk he had taken, putting himself in danger for her sake. It had been both endearing and irritating

Alice looked up, her eyes locking with Yuto's. The memories hung in the air, a tangible presence between them. She was silent for a moment, absorbing the weight of the past, the truth of what he had said. After a few heartbeats, she spoke again, her voice a little shaky

"I..." Her voice cracked, emotions choking her. "Is it really you?"

"There could only be one of me"

Her breath hitched, her eyes shimmering. She was caught in a whirlwind of emotion, hope warring with disbelief, relief battling fear. The idea that her long-lost love had suddenly returned, in such an unlikely fashion, was almost too much to bear

"But...how? How is this possible?" she managed to croak out, her hands clenching at her sides

"I can explain when I get back to my original body," They had both forgotten that Yuto was possessing the Princess body, and an awkward silence filled the air

Alice was still trying to wrap her head around the situation. The idea that Yuto was right there, in the Princess' body...It was bizarre, impossible to accept easily

However, the memories he had just shared...They were too specific, too visceral, for this to be some elaborate lie

"I'm sorry, these past two years must have been lonely"

Alice's eyes widened a little, and she winced as if a particularly painful memory had resurfaced. The raw honesty of his words struck a nerve and she was quiet for a moment. Then, with a deep sigh, she spoke

"Yes. It has been lonely." She looked down, the truth of the statement clearly weighing on her. "I have had a lot of time to...think"

Yuto could hear the undertone of sadness in her voice, the hint of isolation and longing that hung between the words. He knew he was partly responsible, his disappearance leaving a gap that couldn't easily be filled. The guilt gnawed at him mercilessly

"Can I ask you something?" Alice asked suddenly, her voice soft, hesitant

"Of course"

"Did you...ever think about me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. It was a crucial question, one that gnawed at her, leaving her vulnerable. She didn't want to know the answer, but she needed to

Yuto looked shocked before putting down his head, "My father died battling the demon generals, afterwards my mother and sister were dealing with grief, they needed a pillar of support, someone they could rely on"

As Yuto explained, Alice's eyes widened in understanding. The weight of his words, the sheer magnitude of the loss he had suffered and the burden he had taken on, filled the air between them. Her heart ached for him, for his mother and sister, for the life he had been forced to lead 

"I... I didn't know," she murmured, her voice soft and laced with empathetic pain

"I thought, I thought that they killed you as I searched for three days, no traces of you where found"

Alice's heart clenched at his words. They confirmed her fears, her belief that he hadn't tried hard enough to find her. It hurt, but she understood, to some extent, the circumstances that had pushed him away

"My father's funeral, as you know, was held by the king as my father was the kingdom's Swordmaster. After that, my mother and sister left with my aunt and dad's disciple to learn advanced magic"

"I and my ego sword became the disciples of my uncle, the Sword Saint, for the past two years, only focused on getting stronger, I know now that it's just me making excuses and I'm sorry, Alice, I should have tried harder, I should have looked for any signs that you were still alive, I'm sorry" 

Alice's heart wrenched as she heard the sincerity in Yuto's voice. His words, full of remorse and regret, confirmed what she had always believed, that he hadn't tried hard enough to find her. But there was also a part of her that realized that he had been dealing with his turmoil, had been struggling to cope with the loss of his father 

"I...I understand," Her heart was a maelstrom of emotions. Anger and hurt, understanding and sympathy. Part of her wanted to lash out, to make him feel the pain she had gone through. But another part, the part that still loved him, that still cared for him, understood his predicament

She took a deep breath, her eyes searching his face, "I don't know if I can forgive you just yet," she said quietly, her voice choked

Yuto was at a loss for words, his heart clenching at her response. He had expected her to lash out, to yell and scream and accuse him of abandonment. But her response, filled with a strange mixture of pain and acceptance, had thrown him off-balance

He wanted her forgiveness, needed her forgiveness. He wanted her to tell him that everything was okay, that she didn't blame him. But he also understood her need for time to process everything, her feelings, and his actions. He waited, the silence hanging between them like a heavy curtain, waiting for her next words

Alice was caught in a tumult of emotions. The weight of Yuto's words, the pain in his eyes, it all swirled within her, a maelstrom of mixed feelings. She wanted to forgive him, to simply push aside the pain and anger she had held so tightly. But she couldn't, not just yet

"I...I need a little time," she managed, her voice quiet. "To process all of this"