He caressed my cheeks softly, "We'll figure it out."
"I keep thinking that it might be because of what we went through on our stasis. Maybe the trauma was tremendous enough to fuck our souls like this. But the idea of having a literal soul full of cracks sends shivers down my spine," I let it out.
Oli pressed his lips together, conflicted, probably because he can feel my anxiety and worrisome over this. "Do you want to ask Mia about it? Or Annabelle when we meet her? Or maybe ask Belladonna when we go down the hidden chamber after the ball tomorrow?"
Sigh, "I think I'll pick Belladonna. Nancy, the satyr, did tell me that I should use Belladonna to see my true self and see what I need to do to get better. Something like that. Besides, I'm kind of skeptical about having the said help of both the three deities at the same time, especially because one of them, probably Annabelle, have also been helping Meredith to get things that would protect her from us. She's the Goddess I trust the least."
He kissed me again, softer and quicker. "Then we talk to the mirror of the soul tomorrow. She does have that name for a reason. And I also have the same thoughts on Annabelle. Angela did help me years ago, and also supposedly helped you yesterday. Mia is still helping."
Hugging his waist, I stretched my legs on the sides of his body, and brought him closer, feeling the burning need for his warmth take over me again, as it did the second I bumped onto him after I left Nancy's tent earlier.
"She's a mystery. Mia said before that she did things in a distorted way. We never know. Maybe she's half with me and half with Meredith. She is the mother of the dragons, after all, while she's one-thirdly the mother of my kind. Mia also told me that she had a childish way of acting and of handling things. Maybe all of this shit is a big show for her and she wants to make both parties have a fair chance against each other, and that's why she's standing over the wall between us!"
Nacht is trustworthy, but she isn't. He fought with grandpa, but she didn't help. Not as much as Mia did. Though I still don't know the extent of Angela's help, she is protecting Lilith and Sunna in hell.
A nod, "I don't trust her either. She is the reason why I can't do any real damage to Meredith. Giving her an amulet that can protect her from me. Making things harder."
"I actually think I know what the amulet is," I looked up to meet his eyes. "Before I met father, she never had any jewel on when she came to me. If she had, it was hidden, and she always came to me using clothes that showed skin and allowed her to torture me better."
His eyes glowed red, "And after you met Cosmos?"
"After father came to train me, even on the time she came to bring him to me the first time, she had a long gold necklace with a hexagonal prism stone made of magical fusion of bismuth, ruby, obsidian, diamond, opal, emerald, amethyst, sapphire, moonstone, peridot, turquoise. I know of stones, Oli, and that one was not natural or gotten through gem and crystal magic, or even sculpted. It was like one piece made of all them together. I don't know how she did it, but I recognized all of them in the amulet."
"Three can relate to me. Ruby, obsidian, and turquoise," Oli said and sucked on his cheeks, which he always does when he's thinking.
"But that's not all," I released my grip on his waist to play with his hair. "There's something inside the prism, it's inside has a prismatic space and it was always filled with something inside it."
{"What?"} "Do you know what's inside?"
"I never thought much about, but it was a dark red liquid, so it can potentially be blood. But I used to think it was mine, like she was using a trophy or something to provoke me. I mean, I thought it was related to me, but it's actually related to you, so, it can be your blood or your parents'?"
{"How would she have gotten my blood?"} "Maybe my parents'? I can't use disintegration against them because we share blood, so maybe their blood can be used as a protection? I still find it weird that she would have gotten their blood, even less mine. Violet and Darius are many things, babe, but careless? That is not one of them. They would never have let any person get their blood or mine in any chance. Or even River's. But," he stopped abruptly. "No. That can't be."
I frowned, "What is it?"
{"That can't be."} "The amulet had blood since you first saw it?"
"Yes. It always had it."
"Then it can't be!" He told himself.
Caressing his hair, I brought him closer, "What is it, Oli?"
{"The dates don't match."} "You know the two remaining lines on my tattoo? I know you've thought about it before, but you didn't ask about it, probably avoiding to press on something that could trigger me."
That was precisely the reason. "I know."
"It was not me or my parents. Meredith took two people from me."
Fucking bitch. "Who?"
"There were two people I was extremely close to. River too. And that my parents would never be able to use."
My frown deepened, "Who?" Oli swallowed hard and I hugged him again by his waist. "Go on your time. Inhale and exhale deeply, babe. I'm here," I nuzzled my nose on his. "I know it's hard to talk about those we lost. I'm sorry you also lost two people to that bloody monster. I'm even more sorry that you've lost so many people."
{"So, don't let me lose you, please."}
My heart clenched with pain. With his pain. "I'm here, Oli," I told him again, kissing him deeply, and as he kissed me back, his pain passed to me and I held it together, curling my toes and clenching my hands as it all exploded inside me, overwhelming. His pain is overwhelming.
He held my face and stared at me, "What did you just do?"
I blinked hard, clenching my jaw and swallowing the pain inside me. "Just… something the witch told me I can do."
"You took my pain away. Don't do that," Oliver gasped horrified. "Love, you're already in too much pain by yourself. Don't do this. I don't like it. Let me feel it. Don't steal my pain away."
"I don't like to see you in pain. I can handle it, I'm used to it," my voice came out softly, and I allowed myself to look at him again. "Besides, it's me who's causing you this. I don't want to let you suffer like this if I can take it away."
He gasped, "No. Wilhelmina, you can't do this. It's not fair, love. I'll only hurt more if I know I'm making you hurt yourself, with my pain."
Swallowing, I brought him closer, "It's fine."
But he denied, "No. It's not fucking fine, Wilhelmina."
"It's fine, Oli," I insisted. "I can handle."
"I don't care if you can handle. I don't want to see you in pain. What if I took your pain away? Would you like it? To see me hurt with something that I stole from you?" He clenched his jaw. "I don't care if you make me hurt, I can't fucking handle making you hurt, Hel," he said pressing his forehead on mine. "I love you, I can't be okay with that."
"I… sorry," I pressed my lips together. "I just wanted to make it stop. To make you stop hurting because of me."
"You can do that, but not like this," he cried frustrated. "It's easy. Stay with me. Give in to me. Love me. Don't give up on me. Insist on me. Allow yourself to love me and accept my love. I won't hurt if you do that, because it's this that is hurting me, Hel."
When my lips trembled and my eyes burned with the sadness and pain I took from him, I kissed him again, trying to not think about it. "Tell me who the dragon bitch took from you."
{"I want this day to be over and tomorrow night to come quickly for you to end this torture and pull me out of my misery."} Oli let out a frustrated growl, "My grandparents. Violet's father and Darius's mother. Two of the strongest vampires in thousands of centuries. She did that on my second year here in Belladonna. She had a fight with both of them when neither of my parents were in the Vampire Court, and she killed them right there. My parents got back when she had just gotten finished with both. They were away because they had come get me and River to spend winter vacation at home."
I felt my blood draining, my skin tuning paler, "You saw."
He clenched his jaw, "Yes. Me and River."