I thought Oliver wasn't going bring it up again, but I was wrong.
"You won't do it, right?" He asked as I laid on his chest, the red velvet sheet covering our naked bodies.
Ah, not again. I gulped, "Do what?"
{"You know exactly what I'm asking."} "Don't play dumb, Hel!"
"What do you want me to say to you?" I asked after some time.
He caressed my back with his hand, "That you won't. The spirit in the mirror, Belladonna, told you that you can't break the unbreakable, didn't she? We both know exactly what she was talking about, Hel. We know what is the unbreakable thing that you've been break because you're stubborn!"
I gulped, remembering her words. "She might be wrong. I could ask Mia. Or Annabelle. Mia said she's not the expert in mating bonds, but that her sisters are."
{"Hell no. We are not doing this. Not after everything."} "Hel."
"Please, I just need to be sure," sure that there's no way out for you.
{"The last thing I want is a way out!"} "No. That's not enough."
"What do you want then?" I growled looking at him.
His eyes were red, "I want you to promise you won't do it."
I gulped, "I can prom."
Oliver frowned, "Prom? What the hell is that?"
"Half a promise, of course," I grinned. Cosmos used to joke with this a lot, I've been dying to use it.
{"Of course, he did. That cosmic arsehole."} "I want a full one."
Blink, "Full what?"
"A full promise, not a half one. Promise me you won't try anything ridiculous to break our bond, Hel. I need you to assure me!" {"Please, Hel. Please, don't try this anymore. Please, please, please."}
I can't. "I can't lie to you. If I say I won't try, I will be lying. I just want to be sure, Oliver. If Belladonna is right, if you are right, I'll leave it and I'll find a way to come in terms with everything. But I can't dive in until I'm sure. Please. If you are so sure that I'm wrong and you are right, if you are so sure that there's no way, let me make sure that it is the case. I cannot bring myself to make a promise I cannot keep," I held his hand and kissed the ring I gave him. "And I've already made you a promise."
{"But I don't like the idea of you trying this out. No matter if I'm sure there's no way out. I don't like it. It hurts nonetheless."} "But you said you will only tell me what promise you made, if I'm right and you're wrong. I don't know what you promised me."
I know you don't like it, but please, let's come into an agreement on this. Please, Oliver. "True. What's important is that I made you a very important promise with this ring. I also poured some of my magic in it, you will be able to feel it if you focus on it. But don't think about it too much yet, or you will get anxious, and I'll get anxious too."
{"I still don't like the idea of you searching for a way to break us."} "Give me at least a tip."
I know, but try to understand my side, Oliver. Please. "No tips. But, if you guess it right, I'll tell you later on."
Taking a deep breath, he brought my closer so he could take a better look at my face. Oliver played with my wild mess of silver curls and kissed my lips softly. "Don't bring that up near me anymore, Hel. The breaking-the-mating-bond shite. I can't find in me to accept that in any way, and we'll end up fighting every bloody time that's brought up. Find your reassurance, but please, don't let me know. Only tell me when you've finally fallen to your senses and when you're ready for me to follow through with that promise I made you that day."
Of fucking some sense into my mind? I gulped, face burning up. "I won't bring it up. I mean, I'll try. It'll be complicated if someone else brings it up. But I won't talk to you about it."
{"Yes, Hel. Of fucking some sense into your mind, then fucking you until you regretted the very idea of trying to break our bond, then of making love with you and showing what you would be missing. You need to keep that promise in mind, because I will be doing precisely what I told you I would."} "Just avoid it, Hel. I won't hold my anger on this. Just like there are things you can't tolerate, this is the line for me. I can only control my temper to a certain degree, and this goes beyond it."
I'll keep it my mind. "You are undoubtedly better at controlling yourself than I am. I'll definitely have to work on that if I expect to be a minimally good Queen for as long as I need to stay as one."
"I can help with that," he beamed. "You marked me as your King already either way," he waved his ring.
I rolled my eyes, "We don't know if that's a thing. And how would that even work?" I scoffed. "We would bring the vampires up to Emerald Sky City after we kill your parents and you become King? And united them, or you stay with me and River reigns?"
He clicked his tongue, "River hates politics, he's also too kind, no matter how you see him. He would do a good Grand Duke, but I don't think he would ever want to be King. He might pass it to someone else, if I know that kid. We would definitely be uniting them," he grinned.
Is he being serious? "That would be chaotic."
{"I'm serious."} "Aren't you the wielder of the Crown of Chaos?"
What a smartarse. "My kind definitely lives longer than vampires."
{"We both are."} "Vampires live for a pretty long time. In fact, the problem is that my kind is chaotic and can't keep their fangs to themselves. They get into trouble they can't deal with, and get themselves killed. But if we were to just lay low and live our life, we would live for thousands and thousands of years."
"Well, if I manage to unfreeze the winged-serpents remaining on the six Mounts, the vampires would undoubtedly get themselves killed if they tried to use their fangs on my people," I glared at him. "You are only lucky because you're my mate, or your would be down by now after drinking from me."
{"Thank Goddess we are mated then. I can't imagine how it would be if I had spent my life without ever trying your blood. It's just the most delicious blood ever,"} he grinned ferociously. "Now I'm thinking about the phoenix they told us to find."
I played with his hair as he brought his hands to my waist, "Sunna Hearthstone. Princess of the Phoenixes of Andromeda. It's tricky, because they told us to find her, but her Kingdom can only be accessed with the Crown of Chaos, so, she can't be there. And if we go by what Lydia said, Sunna might have been locked in the Pit. But if she's there, how the hell are we even going to find her, in case the Crown is there and we go to hell? I mean, we are talking about freaking hell."
But the idiot grinned, "Hel is talking about hell. Quite ironic."
That got him a death glare, "Really?"
{"You're so beautiful, babe. I could look at you forever without ever getting tired of it,"} he played with my hair again, bringing me in for another kiss. "I would give you my eyes for you to see yourself the way I see you if I could, beautiful. It hurts when you say you have bad looks, because I'm simply in awe every time my eyes land on you. I love looking at you, and you are genuinely the most gorgeous person I've ever seen."
My heart skipped a bit and I felt his love hit me overwhelmingly again, and it made me almost dizzy. "It's hard," I whispered. "I accept the scars as a sign of survival, but I don't like to look at them. Every time I do I remember each wound I got. I remember every one as if I had just gotten them," I pressed my lips together. "Most are old, some are not that old, but all tell an unpleasant story, all leave a mark from Meredith, and that's what I'm disgusted by. I hate to have a similar face to my mom, because it feels like she was hurt…" It hurts too much. I can't face myself like this.
{"You could have told me, babe,"} he nuzzled my nose on his. "I'm sorry, Hel. It pains me that you went through all this before I was even born. That you were helpless and that I had no idea what was happening to you. I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry," he hugged me tight to his chest, his warm body on mine. {"I'm sorry. I wish I could have helped you. I'm sorry."}
We were both helpless, Oli. "Don't do this to yourself, please," I hugged him back just as tight. "I didn't want you to pity me, or anyone else for the matter. They are part of who I am, I know. But knowing I'm scarred and seeing are two different things," sigh. "I don't mind showing my skin, but I mind seeing by myself. It's just tough because they keep saying I look like mom and grandpa Umbra," and they were hot, but I'm not.
{"Hot is too little to describe you. You're leaning more towards smoking volcano than simply hot. Flames of hell level of hot,"} Oli kissed me softly. "You are perfect. To me you are the most perfect person in the world. Your scars are just a statement of your strength and endurance, of how badass and tough you are," he kissed me again. "Let's not think of the bad side of them, otherwise, Meredith will win over you, even if we kill her, if you stay like this, beautiful. If what she did to you, keeps making it impossible for you to even see your own reflex in the mirror," and again.
But it's hard.