"Meredith is my paternal grandmother."
I dropped the bomb, my eyes going to my siblings, whose eyes were already on mine, too many complicated emotions in there. "You are our older sister," they said together, and I kept staring at them.
"Babe," Oliver whispered, comfortingly, "baby steps, come on."
Taking a deep breath, I nodded, "Yes. I'm your half older sister."
They shared a look, "You don't like our mother," Agost stated.
"It's not dislike," I hissed disgusted, "it's hatred. Loathing. I didn't want to get near you because you remember me of her, and it nauseates me. And I couldn't allow myself to get closer, because it would a doomed link from he beginning. There's no way you would be okay with me murdering her in the way I am going to do!"
"It's not okay to threaten other people's mother's, Hel!"
I glared at Savannah. "And you think I don't know that? It's not a simple threat. It's revenge. Who do you think killed my mom with our dear grandma, uh?" I yelled, and I would have attacked someone if Oliver wasn't holding me so tight. "Who do you think murdered my mom to shreds in front of my bloody fucking eyes? Philippa Pepper Wreathers-Bloom did. She wanted my father, and wanted his mate out of the picture, so she went with Meredith and killed mom to get me. You have NO idea of what it was like to see your world destroyed in front of your eyes," I cried. "I was a child. A fucking seven year old."
Looking at anywhere but them, I pushed the angry tears away, in pure disgust. "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be a bastard. To be the last winged serpent. To be of Meredith's bloodline. To be the secret child of Shay Miralanthor and Russell fucking Bloom. To stay in stasis for twenty fucking centuries. To be tortured by my own grandmother. To be treated like a weapon. To be forced to kill. To carry the burden of having the magic powers I have. To be what I am. And I didn't want to be scarred like this."
"I didn't want to taint Meredith's perfect golden dragons bloodline with my venomous blood," I spit, unable to get rid of the tears. "I didn't want to be a savior for a long lost race, which your ancestors fucked with. I didn't want this fucking shit. To be a disgrace that caused my mom's death. I…" I gulped, furious and sad and miserable. "I wanted my mom. I just… I just wanted to be a child, to live, to be… to be with my mom. I was a simple minded kid," I looked down at my trembling hands.
"I slept in mom's arms, she got me some food, I watched her craft, she told me stories, we walked around the mountain, she took me to the little lake in the inside of it where the water was warm, drinkable, and good to play. That was my life for seven years," I closed my eyes, trying with all my might to stop crying. "I didn't want any of this. I didn't want any of this that you have. I didn't give a damn about who my father was because I had my mom, and she was all I needed."
"But fucking Meredith didn't care. She didn't care that mom had hid us away, that she would never bother them, that she had given up in being with her mate to protect her baby. She came for us either way. My mom was peaceful and kind, and she died for me to be alive. I didn't even want to live. I prayed to die at each second that Meredith tortured me. I was angry? Yes. I was sad? Yes. But more than anything, I was tired. I didn't want to be strong. I didn't want to survive. I didn't want any of this. I saw mom die, and from that second, all I wanted was to die too, just to be with her. But Meredith didn't leave me the fuck alone."
"That monster made of her mission to break me in every way she could come up with. Then she would tell me how disgraceful my birth was, how disgraceful my existence was, how much of a taint I was, how my mom died because of me, how everything was my fault, and at that… at that time, I…" my voice broke. "I genuinely believed I deserved it. That I deserved the torture, I deserved to be mutilated, skinned alive, to suffer. Because mom had… mom had suffered worse. And I…"
["Kid…"] Jack gasped.
"Hel," Oliver whispered, his voice in pain.
"Meeting… meeting Naël changed my perspective. I used to think I was weak, that serpents were not even dust when compared to dragons, that mom being with my father weakened the bloodline and I came out as a mistake, a taint. I was a child who didn't know much, I wasn't taught any single thing before I was locked up, so, I didn't even know why I was in a coffin to begin with. I got… I got claustrophobia from it. I can't stand any closed small place, it gives me a panic attack."
"I didn't knew that much when I went to the bathroom in the human airplane, then I freaked out and made a fool of myself, and my body also fainted. Though not my mind. But I can't withstand it. If Cosmos hadn't become my master, I wouldn't be who I am now. In fact, I had even some difficulty in walking after I got out of the coffin. He helped me out in all of it, though he couldn't do too much, because of Meredith."
"When I learned that I was different, that my kind was unique, and that I had so many powers, I vowed to get revenge. My mom made me vow to revenge what they did to us, when I met her in the lair," I cleaned my face from the damned tears. "I know better than anyone how it feel to have your mother threatened, but I will not give up on my revenge just because she had two kids with my father. With all the respect, she only did that, because my mother died, because she murdered her. I will not allow any of you to say shite to me about this."
"Philippa knows I'll come for her sooner or later, that's why she told you to stay away from me, why Meredith ordered me to stay away from you. She promised to throw me to the pit if I told anyone that she was my grandmother, so, I'm risking my very life to tell you now. And if Oliver had not talked to me for hours, I wouldn't be doing it, so, thank him and not me for it. I'm…" I gulped and looked up to see Agost and Nicolette in tears. "I only learned about you when she told me I would be coming to Belladonna."
"She never told me my father had two kids with my mom's killer. I've always been my mom's only child, so, I don't know how to be an older sister, but…" I gulped again, feeling al lump in my throat. "Oliver told me you were mistreated and tortured for two years, and that Philippa uses you. I'm sorry about that, I understand about torture as you can see by my body. I didn't intended on neglecting you, I just couldn't stand the fact that you look like Philippa."
"It hurts, but I'll try to live with it. We… we aren't our parents and neither are we to blame for the mistakes they made," Oli's hands softened on me. "I'm hostile, I don't know how to interact with people, how to let them in. Oliver kind of broke in by force, and he's still doing so every time I end up putting a wall up, and I'm trying with him because he's my mate, and I don't want to cause him harm. But I have never lived around this many people, and after being raised by Cosmos, I got his personality."
"So, I'm sorry if I hurt any of you, it was not my intention. I mean, yeah, a little bit," I bit my bottom lip. "But you are all innocent to the big scheme of the war. You are all younger than me, and I should try to act in a better way, so, I will not promise, but I'll try to let you in. Slowly. But you have to avoid my triggers, or I'll lose it. I mean, I'm not saying I want to be friends, but I'll do a better work to… live in society?"
I looked up to Oliver, to make sure I was saying the right things, but he smiled and held my face to him, than kissed me. "You're good."
"I am not good at controlling my emotions, I'm good at using them as munition to fight. That's why I may have so many outbursts. Cosmos told me I'm kind of intense," I told them. "But I can control my power, most of it. I can't control sound that much yet, but I'm working on it. I won't harm you as long as you don't tell Meredith what I told you. Or anyone that might leak. Or anyone at all, outside from all of you who are present in here."
"Yes, there's this thing that say I might need twenty-six kids and apparently, if mom's weapons are to be taken like that, it's you. But I do not want to bring you in, because there's also the fact that twelve might die. I don't want to bring anyone to death, not at all. I don't know if it's twenty six with or without me. If it's without me," I pointed to Agatta, "she might be in this. Her weapon was also made only for her."
Sigh, "But I don't know, so please, don't ask questions. It was the last thing mom told me before pushing me away of our lair," maybe the collection of emerald rings she made were for this… though there's a total of thirty of them. But that's for later, I haven't even told Oliver about it. "I may be interpreting it all wrong. Or not. Plus, I'm not a heroine, I'm not in this for selfish motivations such as saving the world. Partially is because I don't want anyone else to suffer on Meredith's hand, but it's mainly for revenge. And I'm not the leader, I'm just gathering for when the leader finally show herself."
"This is for the girl who can control the energy of the universe, the one who can use aether. It's her mission, I'm just playing a part on it. So, before you carelessly jump in, wait until I find her. Then you meet the girl who will lead you in this war that will come. That is, if you want to fight, which would be absolutely reasonable if you don't. It's dangerous, and you might potentially die, and everything might either work or not all. Death will surround us all around, and if you can't stomach it, it'll be hard."
Felix gasped, "Why are you looking at me? I was in this even before Oliver was. We are three out of twenty six. Death risk or not. I'm just sorry you had to go through all this fucking shite, Hel. I get why you didn't tell me what you were to Meredith, because that cursed link fucking sucks. You carry too much in you," he came closer and hugged me.
I froze for a second, but after an instant I hugged him back. "You don't need to feel sorry, Felix. You also were tortured by her. You've got a lot on your hands, plus two boyfriends to deal with. Must be tough to take all that." Finally, the tension went down a bit.
He gasped, "Stop! You're on a tough situation yourself."
I side-eyed Oliver who had a wild grin on, "Bloody yeah. I am." Then to him again, "Couldn't ask for anything different. So, now, do you all get it, or will you keep acting as if I'm insane?"
"Can I hug you?" Rio asked, his face devastated.
And that took me totally off guard, "Quick. Or I'll smack you. And Oliver, you better not get jealous over this."
He scoffed, "I'll look away. Just take the hugs."
Rolling my eyes, I opened my arms and Rio took me off the ground in a bear hug that took my breath away. Then everyone else jumped over, taking advantage to hug me too. "I'm sorry you went through all that, Hel," he said against my ear, as I hugged him back. "It's too much shite."
"I'm sorry too," I whispered.