"I guess I'll be going first, Muya." This was all Louise could say as blood dripped from his mouth. He no longer had the strength to move. He wanted to swing his sword and take one more goblin with him, but the light in his eyes faded away.
"So this is how it feels to die..."
Nothing. It was only painful when he got stabbed the first time, but then the pain quickly subsided as he wildly swung his sword. And then... nothing. All his senses quickly stopped working, and the last to die down was his eyes. Was Muya still alive? This was the last thing he wanted to know before everything went black. Unfortunately, he never found the answer to this question.
Death was indeed fleeting. There was no time to think or feel anything else—once death approached, it would already be that, the end. Some would say that at the time of your death, you would experience your entire life flash by—from the time you were born to the very last moment. But what Louise experienced wasn't like that. The end came so fast that everything just went black. And after that, nothing. Absolutely nothing.
At the end of it all, once death approached, only the memories of those who remembered that person would serve to keep a person existing. And without these memories, dead people would just be forgotten along with the passage of time. Fortunately, there was still Muya, and he would certainly remember Louise—the brother he met just before he awakened.
What Louise didn't know was that his friend had survived—just that his kingdom, no, his entire world didn't. Would they meet again? Only time would tell.
"You're finally awake."
Louise woke up to a strange voice. No, rather than a single voice, it sounded like a combination of many different voices speaking at the same time. When he opened his eyes, what appeared before him was a giant dome. In the middle of which was an enormous tree that pierced through the roof of the dome to who knows where. And at the foot of this tree was a black figure. It had the shape of a human, but it was just... black, like a shadow.
That figure was sitting on a chair made from the tree's roots, and an instrument that looked like a piano was in front of it, nestled in the tree's body. The figure's hands were raised, and it seemed like it was about to play a song.
Well, this was Louise's impression as he sat up from the ground and looked toward the black figure. "You are?"
"I am Ymir, your guide to the path of death," the black figure spoke as one of its hands fell on the piano.
Soon, an oddly alluring melody echoed across the dome. It was not a melody Louise was familiar with, but as it played, he felt a range of emotions—happiness, sadness, confusion, anger, madness, fear... It felt as if he was experiencing different situations that made him feel all emotions at their purest and most extreme state. Seconds, minutes, hours... It seemed the melody would never end. And Louise, he simply kept listening and listening, as if he was living an entire lifetime with every new emotion he felt.
Ti-ning!
And soon, the melody ended. Louise didn't know, but an entire day and night passed by in this manner. And what he felt...
"Why do I feel nothing? Who am I? What am I?" The moment the melody ended, the emotions he felt vanished. In fact, there really was nothing left. The body was there, but it became nothing but an empty vessel.
"Because you died. The moment the melody ends, is the moment you die. When you die, you become nothing. Everything else—your memories, your identity, your emotions, and your soul—they all cease to exist. This is the path that you have entered. This is what you must experience again and again in this journey, death." Ymir, the black figure, once again had its hands above the piano. And then...
Ting.
Ymir tapped on the piano once. It stood up and turned around. It said, "Welcome back, Louise."
As if awakened from a nightmare, Louise finally came to. A strange feeling washed over him. He didn't know whether it was fear or anger... No, he knew exactly what feeling it was—despair. He felt helpless as he listened to the melody without being able to do anything until the light in his eyes faded as the music stopped.
And so he felt despair. Even when he lost hope again and again while fighting against the goblins—getting saved by Muya's arrow, the possibility of hiding in the trap door, and surviving the first wave of goblins—he didn't feel despair at all. It was indeed a hopeless situation, but he still had control over himself. He could die... on his own terms.
But as that melody played, he just didn't have any control over his body. It was as if he was forcibly living his life, without being able to choose which path to take. And then it ended. Just like that, it ended.
"Did I die for the second time?" Louise asked with a trembling voice. Fear was evident in his expression as he stared at Ymir slowly making its way toward him. Ymir stopped a meter in front of him and reached out one of its hands. Louise stared for a moment before holding on to Ymir's hand and standing up. As soon as he stood up, Ymir let go, turned around, and walked toward the back of the giant tree.
It took a few moments before Louise realized that he had to follow it. He walked forward, and as soon as he passed by the tree, what he saw was a long passage with no end in sight. There were plants of different shapes and sizes on either side of the passage. The stone steps with streaks of violet leading to the passage looked unnerving, but there was nothing else remarkable.
At that moment, Louise's raging emotions gradually died down. He had regained control over his body, and after dying two times, he felt like there was nothing else to fear. With a clear mind, he took a few steps forward and closed the gap between him and the black figure.
Ymir continued walking toward the passage. As soon as it arrived, it took five more steps before stopping. It turned around and said, "As soon as you enter this passage, you will die. Come."
"Can I say no?" Louise asked, but he was already walking toward the passage. He didn't know why, but it felt like he had to enter the passage. Was he once again not in control of his body? No. Rather than that, he himself chose to do so.
This action of his had no particular reason. Did he want to die? Not really. So what sprung him into walking toward the passage? It was a passing thought.
'Do I have any reason not to die?' He thought he had become mad after dying two times, but on the contrary, his mind was much clearer. He had already died twice, what was there to fear? He might die another time in this passage, but so what?
Once he was in front of the passage, Ymir raised its hand, gesturing for Louise to stop. It walked forward and asked, "Why?"
Louise bleakly answered, "Why not?"
After that break-up with Michelle, he honestly had no reason to live. There were many ways to have fun, but after four months of trying to find happiness from all this fun, he wasn't happy at all. It was indeed nice to play games, read stories, and talk to people—he had a lot of fun talking to Anna. But that was it. In the end, there was an enormous difference between having fun and being happy.
So what was there to live for? To have fun? After thinking about all these things with a clear mind, the answer was that he had already died long ago when he lost Michelle. He was nothing but an empty vessel, living for the sake of being alive. And when he died—twice—he felt the same emptiness as the one he felt when they broke up four months ago and when they met up again.
So what was there to fear in dying? There really was no need for any hesitation.
At this time, Ymir spoke, "Interesting. I'm curious, however. You felt despair a while ago, but now that you're walking to your death, you don't. Why?"
Louise thought for a moment before answering, "Because I chose this path."
"Is there a difference?"
"Even if there is no hope, I want to make decisions for myself. I want to still have a degree of control. Hmmm... Pride? No. I guess the right word would be ego. I'm not sure if I'm making sense or not, but I want to experience my life rather than watch it flash by my eyes."
"You want free will?" Ymir asked.
"I don't really believe free will exists. Does it?"
"Yes and no. It is limited to what you can control. I can control everything here, just like your life and death. But you can't. You can only control yourself and nothing else."
"Exactly. No matter how small or limited what I can control, as long as there is something I'm in control of, I feel like I'm making decisions for myself."
Suddenly, Ymir laughed. It was a weird laugh, and the numerous voices syncing to the same sound made it a tad bit too eerie. "Louise. Certainly a name to remember. I've seen many existences passing through this plane, but only a few amuse me. And you, you are certainly one of them. Come. If you can reach the end of this passage, then we shall meet again. There, you'll find the answers to your questions."
"What happens if I'm unable to?" Louise asked.
"Then you'll forget everything that happened here and return to your old life," Ymir answered as it turned around.
"I feel like there's a catch. I mean, are there really no penalties for failing?" Louise was doubtful. There had to be a punishment. Forgetting everything here and returning didn't seem like an enormous price to pay for failing this undertaking.
Ymir was about to take a step forward but stopped all of a sudden. It spoke softly, "Since you amuse me, then I'll give you a hint. You'll only be able to enjoy your old life for another few months. Come now."
Louise thought long and hard but couldn't come up with anything. As such, he decided to just try his luck in this passage and see if he could reach its end. Well, wouldn't he die the moment he stepped on the passage? How could he reach its end then?
There were too many questions to answer, but as Ymir said, the answers could only be found at the end of the passage. There was no point in dilly-dallying. As such, he continued walking forward and eventually found himself directly in front of the passage.
As soon as he took the first step, a plant nearby expanded to twice its size before... devouring him.