[Note/WARNING]: DO NOT READ THIS OF CHAPTER if you are uncomfortable with topics relating to self-harm
Premise: right after Kuzan killed the assassin in the Raitai tournament
[Kuzan POV]
'Death.'
'I couldn't understand even then why everyone around me had been so scared of it in the first place.'
It contained within it the beauty of life, the only truth that made anything have any meaning.
It was impartial, coming for the rich and the poor, the meek and the miserable, the young and the old, the sick and the old, even for the strong and the weak alike.
It was the sole thing that united all of us, from the largest of beasts to the smallest of insects.
It was not death that I found difficult to grasp.
It was life.
Death was but an instant of pain, while life was, well,...
Life.
To me, life has always been a thousand times scarier than death. Not because of the pain, not because of my inability to 'enjoy' it 'normally' as other people considered, not even because of its tendency to disappear at a moment's notice.
No.
It had always'd been its potential that terrified me. It's potential to cause pain, it's potential to cause suffering to those you loved.
I simply couldn't understand at that time what the whole big deal was with everyone. Always looking at me eyes of pity whenever I so much as crossed their gaze. Did they too not realise that they'd also die one day?
I was not nearly as ungrateful as them, for the life I had been able to live, for the life Nurse Jessie had helped me to live. I had been blessed to have had the opportunity to receive love from such a kind hearted soul, and I had shown my gratefulness every second of it, always smiling back at her to make sure that she was alright.
And I was right.
I had no need to be afraid of death. Especially not when it was so easy to control.
I had initially deliberated going for the heart, hoping that the man stayed around longer for me to truly enjoy my meal, however I decided against it, putting Diana's health and wellbeing over my own fury.
I didn't waste a second, running right up to her to examine her condition.
'Chee, it's worse than I thought.'
It wasn't a simple matter of performing first aid or even something like taking her to the hospital that concerned me. In fact, she had already started to heal well from her injury despite its severity.
Unfortunately, it was the manner by which she was doing that that scared me.
I had had many conversations with Mr. Lander since that day meeting her in Tokyo, about her condition and its risks. One of the common and most dangerous ones was overexertion, as her body ran out of the "fuel" to keep itself "locked up".
A lack of nutrients could spell death to her body, considering how many calories her muscles burnt every second just keeping themselves in shape. Thus her everyday meal, almost surpassed that of even Mr. Oliva.
'I remember it since I was young, it was the only reason I ever yelled at her even then.'
Her self consciousness about how much she ate. I had screamed every obscenity in the book at her when I found out that she was trying to 'diet', despite the clear danger it presented to her body.
I had finally been able to talk some sense into her after our last conversation together, espically after threatening her parents with my Uncle's support to stop giving such dangerous and stupid ideas to Diana.
'Regular medical professionals are not going to be enough, thank God Mr. Oliva is here, I just need to follow Doctor Shonogi's instructions over the phone until he arrives.'
'This poor girl...'
'She's starving.'
[Xiao Li POV]
After inspecting her condition for a bit, Kuzan finally made the decision to pick Diana, and he was about to carry her into his arms when he suddenly stopped in his movements as he started sweating profusely.
He whipped his head back to the entrance of the door, with a look of absolute anger stricken all over his face.
[Kuzan POV]
'Fuck not now.'
I was running out of time, the medical professionals were still on there way and every second wasted could be a second closer to Diana's death.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!"
However the demon seemed dead set on blocking my path, not letting me escape with the Princess trapped in her castle.
"Or what're you gonna do, huh kid?"
'Fuck, fuck, fuck!'
Despite all of my planning, despite all of my preparation, I had somehow ended up in the worst situation possible.
Still, it was not my death that I was so scared of, it was Diana's. I had no intention of following in Baki's footsteps of getting revenge for the death of their loved ones after he failed the first time.
'Fuck.'
I would not be able to win the fight no matter what, I could feel there were only a few minutes left before I fell into unconsciousness.
Worse off, I knew that demon's personality to a T. He would be more than willing to harm my family if he saw that I would become a much more interesting 'plaything' for him if driven by revenge.
'That bitch, he's a coward.' I knew for certain that that monster would next go for my family if I disappointed him again, despite only being interested in me.
'Wait, that's it! He's only interested in me.'
There was only way to get him to 'let' me pass, however it was not a decision that came lightly.
'You're really playing with fire right now Kuzan.'
"I can't believe that I ever called you my son."
It seemed that he finally understood what I threatened to do, obviously furious at me for pulling out such a cheap trick in front of him again.
Still, as my palm rested comfortably above my chest, my heart was at peace with my decision, especially after seeing how pissed it made him feel.
"Yujiro,..."
"You better get the fuck out of my way,..."
"Otherwise..."
"YOU'LL NEVER GET TO FIGHT ME AGAIN."
I threw out my last resort.
A bluff.
One that even I believed, threatening to stop my heart should he not let me pass.
Of course, he quickly caught onto the solution to this little standoff.
"Do it boy, I'll just have to play with your family instead."
He gave me a perfectly logical counter to my argument in a matter of seconds. My entire plan hinged on the fact that there was only one thing this demon was 'scared' off.
Being bored.
He and I both knew that I would never be able to stand still if he caused harm to my family, but both of us also knew that the best way to cause him pain would be to deprive him of everything that he found, 'fun'.
"You shouldn't underestimate my shamelessness Yujiro."
"Do it, and I'll kill Baki."
"Do it, and I'll kill Shibukawa, Orochi, Oliva, Kaku, anyone who can remotely give you a challenge."
The man seemed unimpressed by my threat, obviously not holding the rest of them in such a high regard, but of course that was because I was yet done...
"Do it, and I'll cut off your dick."
"You'll never have kids again..."
"And after all that's done..."
"I'll kill myself."
I had been reincarnated once before, who knew if I would have such an opportunity again. Of course I was only bluffing, but my attitude towards death only made my threat that much more convincing. I had tricked the man once before, and I was willing to bet that I would be able to do it again.
'I just have to find the right words...'
"No, better yet."
I said, finally coming to a decision to overcome my demons.
"I'll live."
"Making sure every waking moment to deprive you of anything that could potentially peak your interest."
"And if you ever try to fight me..."
"Even if I'm eventually strong enough to kill you with one punch..."
I said with a devilish smile on my face, knowing the pain my mere words would cause to the demon's heart...
"I'll simply run away again."