It was like something out of a dream.
"WE HAVE A WINNER!" he won the match so easily. Yes, his first opponent was a big oof, but that didn't mean you could take him lightly. He had won a number of the local underground matches and was gathering quite a lot of fame recently. Of course, that was before he was smashed into the wall by the new rising star of the arena, 'The Thieving Dragon'.
I couldn't stop myself from cheering along with the crowd at his victory, however, it seemed that I was feeling much more joy at my fellow disciple's victory than the man himself.
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" I was taken aback at his outburst since even while training under Master Shikai Bun, I had never heard him yell like that. Jokes and snide remarks, sure, but never yell.
"You call that a match?! You call that a fight?! Is the underground arena a joke?!" I could feel the genuine pain in his heart when he said those words, as if wanting to cry but having no tears left to shed.
"If my next opponent is as strong as this guy, I'll kill both him and the spectators."
That was his last statement in the arena before walking out, obviously causing quite a ruckus among the spectators after he had fully left.
Some were annoyed at his outburst, not taking his threat seriously. Some were afraid, realizing the genuine bloodlust he had admitted only after the match was finished. I was a part of the third category of people, shocked and exhilarated at his words, being unable to free myself from the thrill of the match.
A long time later, I finally snapped out of it, calming my breathing and making my way back up the mountain to determine the true attitude of the beast that 'I' was raising.
I entered his room, expecting to see him in a rage, smashing and breaking things all over. Instead, I was met by the figure of a child who was currently balled up, looking as if he was about to cry at the injustice that had been done to him by the world.
'So cute.'
Still, I did not let my thoughts show and continued forward, drawing closer to the sad soul.
"Wow, Xiao Xiao," Melissa spoke in a whisper, accusing me while she did so, "did you go to the hot springs without me? Your face is so red?"
Before I could respond, however, I was cut off by a whimper from the big strong hulk, who was currently pretending to be a sniveling child, craving their mother's attention.
It was funny to watch, from an outsider's perspective, the little girl rolling her eyes at him and then masking on a face of pure worry to soothe her child.
"What's wrong, Kuzan?"
"Nothing," he continued to act like a spoiled child at the store, as if throwing a tantrum since his mom refused to buy him candy from the shop.
"Well, I'm not leaving until you're better," the sister continued to coddle her brother despite her annoyance at his behavior, only receiving silence in response.
"Do you know what's wrong with him, Xiao Xiao?" she asked, pulling me into her family squabbles.
I, of course, wanted no part in this little act of theirs. It was for them to have fun with, not me. Still, Milli wouldn't give in to her attempt, being quite a headstrong little girl despite her age, pulling me in once again to where I had no place being.
"How about you join us today? Xiao Xiao has this great dessert place in town that she wants me to try," she told her brother, while giving me a small wink, knowing full well that she had just made up this supposed planned outing on the spot.
I debated declining, however, I couldn't stand her pleading eyes and decided to give in to her request.
It was worth it, it was a fun outing, especially with Milli tagging along, and the cakes weren't too bad either. I was only just getting started when Milli noticed that Kuzan had somehow 'run out' of his sweets.
It all happened so suddenly: him calling the waiter over, him being disappointed at the outcome, him taking Milli up on her offer as she had just wiped some frosting off my face.
Before I could even scream 'NO', he licked it into his mouth.
'It was the first time I had felt this type of embarrassment, not out of failure, but out of sweetness.'
It was weird, it was embarrassing, but it also felt surprisingly nice at the same time.
My heart ached, beating faster in my chest, not out of pain, but out of expectation.
'Looking back, I'm sure even my master had noticed that something was wrong with me, recommending me to spend more and more time with Milli and Kuzan for no reason whatsoever.'
I was confused at my state, being unable to even look him in the eyes at first after that day.
After a lot of back and forth, I finally couldn't stand it anymore and decided to go for 'advice' to the one person I knew who I could possibly talk to about this.
"You have to promise that you won't tell him," I pleaded for the first time in my life to anyone outside my family, "please."
"Ara, ara, now isn't that something interesting, right, cupcake?" the woman known as the Spider within the underground circuit asked her niece, once again spinning her web.
"So what am I supposed to do?" I couldn't even so much as look him in the eyes, let alone ask him for help in accomplishing my goal.
Both of them responded with the same words at the same time: "Don't worry, we've got this."
The duo worked their best to help me confront these feelings blooming within me, even going so far as stopping me from going to his next matches to work on my 'training'.
Still, I was able to escape their grasps and thus able to attend his final match before he departed for Japan. It was simply breathtaking.
His movements, his nonchalance, his attitude towards such a dangerous match between a king of the sea, treating it as if it were a game.
'It's so cool,' I remember saying to myself during the match.
My sisters-in-arms had long convinced me to travel to Japan with him if I wanted to have even a chance of working something out with him. I was even able to drum up an excuse that my master had told me to travel there for his sake instead of mine.
Still, despite all of my preparation and training, I was once again met with an insurmountable challenge. It seemed as if all this stupid boy was smart at was fighting, as he completely disregarded my feelings, telling me to check into his hotel room for him, reducing me to a mere bellboy in his eyes.
I was infuriated, and a little hurt by his comments, choosing to call my new master, the supposed 'moon elder', for help, "Ara, ara, how's it going Xiao Li? Made any progress yet reeling in the catch?"
I told her of what had just occurred, complaining about his actions to his own Aunt.
"That stupid nephew of mine," it seemed even she agreed with me, choosing to side against her own flesh and blood due to his actions.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it!" she replied in a serious tone before cutting off the phone line, refusing to pick up again.
I finally understood what she had done when I checked into the hotel, only to find all of the other rooms booked.
'Isn't this going a little too far?' I questioned myself, but I finally strengthened my resolve and decided to see things through despite the burning feeling in my chest.
He entered the hotel late at night, finally arriving while only carrying that stupid grin on his face instead of the ice cream he had promised.
This was the final straw, I was going to go ballistic at him for all that he had put me through during the last few months.
Fortunately, it seemed as if my anger was again misplaced as he brought up the idea of taking me out to eat to make up for his actions, at night, all alone, just the two of us.
I had felt as if I was about to have a heart attack, during the silent walk to the ice cream parlor, keeping my face turned away from his as we made our way to our destination.
Again, I found myself back at the starting line, all my progress and training useless from a single attack, again not being able to look him in the face.
It was perfect, although the place was a bit crowded even at night, everything was perfect.
'Why does he keep staring at me so intensely?' I asked myself, this time wanting desperately to know the answer to my question.
Our orders arrived, however, our 'perfect day' was soon ruined by a passerby who was stupidly playing a game of catch with his significant other in the restaurant.
Using the ice cream as a 'ball' and ice cream scoops as the 'rackets', thinking it was the 'cutest thing ever', I'm sure.
He fell onto our table in his distraction, causing it to fall, while at the same time serving as a fulcrum for my ice cream to fly into the air, before eventually landing squarely onto my head.
'It's ruined,' I cried out my frustration deep into my heart, letting my intent for revenge flare up again, this time directed at the man who had ruined my perfect day.
I was stopped, however, by a spoonful of strawberry ice cream that was suddenly shoved into my mouth.
"Xiao Li, here."
'I hate strawberry,' I thought, but I refused to spit it out, letting go of my anger once again.
It was too sweet of a night, however, it was again ruined when we got back to the hotel.
"What?! I thought I had asked you to book us two rooms at the hotel?" I'd been caught.
Still, it all worked out in the end, the man choosing to stay, despite sleeping on the floor, he chose to stay when he could have easily left.
'It's fine for now.' I was happy with the progress I had made, even forgetting my initial intentions behind seeking out the man in the process, it just didn't seem to matter as much anymore.
My hate, my resolve, my need for revenge, it simply melted away under my newfound happiness.
Still, I was unable to fall asleep that night with him being in the same room as me. I quietly slipped out of my covers and made my way closer to his sleeping face.
I don't know why I did it, but I couldn't help myself, reaching out my finger and tapping his nose, similar to what I'd seen Milli doing countless times.
"Boop-"
"THWACK"
I was sent flying across the room by a slap from the still blissfully snoring man, having attacked on reflex despite still being asleep.
I was mad at him, sure, but I knew better than to blame him for something he had done while unconscious and unaware.
Still, I was a bit hurt, but not enough to seek immediate medical attention. I had more important matters to attend to, like finding a camcorder to record his match tomorrow at my best friend's request.
Thus, when I finally got the chance to see him after his 'match', I ran up to him, only to find him in a death match with one of the most dangerous martial artists in all of Japan.
"Stop, Kuzan!" I shouted at him to stop, to accept his defeat, too worried for his safety to allow him to continue.
It worked.
He turned his body towards me, walking ever so closer to me with each step.
"And where did you go?" he asked—no, he demanded an answer in a harsh tone of voice.
I was jubilant that he still remembered me, he still cared about me. It didn't make sense, but I wanted him to confirm every hour, every minute, every second that he hadn't forgotten about me.
However, I was selfish, only caring about my own feelings without having taken the time to consider his, not knowing that he had been battling with demons of his own.
"You say I'm weak."
"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT!"
He was infuriated, I could tell, letting out more killing intent than ever before.
But I could see it for what it was, familiar but different, the pain carried within his cry.
I could hear it.
I had seen it every day within myself, whenever I didn't live up to my master's training regimes.
It was the cry of the weak.
'But why, Kuzan, why do you of all people feel like this? You're strong.'
It was again weird. I felt a plethora of conflicting feelings within my chest.
I was sad to see him so hurt, but I was happy to finally find such a strong connection between us.
I had never loved him more.
'Love'—perhaps that was the first time I had admitted it to myself, using that dangerous word for the first time in my life.
I had remembered learning about that word when young.
It was the most dangerous emotion in the world, capable of causing far more destruction than any other emotion ever could. It was the trigger, the trigger to hate, the trigger to everything bad that has ever happened to this world.
But again, I was selfish, choosing to endanger the entire world for myself and this love.
I eventually told Kuzan about my injury from last night, refusing to tell him how I had sustained it despite his continued insistence and even anger at my denial of his request.
Still, it was worth it, having him carry me halfway across town in his arms to take me for a check-up. To make sure that I was alright.
My blossoming thoughts were cut short, however, by the doctor's next question.
"And how did she get hurt exactly?"
I channeled all of the 'cuteness' left within me, trying my best to bring out my supposed 'girlish' charm taught to me by Melissa, trying desperately to emulate the response taught to me repeatedly in my training.
"I fell :3"
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*TREASURE HUNT* with prize in the Author's Comments, please take a look...