The rest of the night went by quickly enough. The night was both uneventful and exciting.
It was uneventful because nothing out of the ordinary occurred during the night hours. It was exciting because, well, Kai felt excited. He felt too excited. Everytime he felt Liam's presence around him; he felt his heartbeat increase, which was a different, new type of excitement for him.
He was developing major feelings. It was happening at a dizzying pace. He didn't know feelings like that were possible for him. It was new and exciting.
After giving the shift change report to the oncoming nurses, Kai made his way to the break room to clock out. He was disappointed when he didn't see Liam there.
He sighed as he swiped his badge at the time clock. After clocking out, he went outside. He noticed Liam's truck was gone, which he found strange.
Liam had agreed to come over to his place after work. He wondered if something was going on with Brenda.
It didn't matter. Kai knew he was getting his hopes up. He was having negative thoughts. He hoped Brenda was okay and understood if Liam needed to go home, but he didn't know why Liam couldn't even send him a message to let him know the plans had changed.
Or maybe Liam decided Kai wasn't worth his time.
That was the worst thought of all.
Kai got into his car and drove home. He didn't even turn on the radio. He just wanted to drive in silence with his thoughts.
It was times like those that Kai hated. He hated feeling lonely. It was an emotion he avoided by not allowing him to get close to other people. If there was nobody important in his life, he wouldn't feel lonely, as there was no particular person to fill the void.
He thought, perhaps, that the entire past week was a huge mistake. Maybe he shouldn't have begun to feel the way he did. Maybe he shouldn't have allowed himself to start having feelings for someone.
His chest hurt, and he wanted to cry. Deep down, he was an anxious, depressed crybaby. He had done such a good job avoiding these emotions and avoiding people who made him feel them.
He was needy. He felt needy right now. He hated the feeling. It was miserable.
Once he got to his apartment complex, he exited his car and went up the steps. He went to his door, opened it, and entered his apartment.
He frowned and walked to the bathroom. He sniffed his scrubs. They stunk. They smelled like Jack. Gross.
He took off his scrub top and placed it on the counter. He still had his undershirt on when his phone started ringing.
Kai dug his phone hurriedly out of his pocket and answered.
"Hello?"
His voice sounded desperate.
"Kai, are you okay?"
Thank God. It was Liam.
Suddenly. Kai didn't feel so lonely anymore.
"Yes. I am okay."
"Good. I just stopped to check on my mom. I'll be there soon."
Kai smiled softly and walked to his front door. He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes.
He didn't want to seem desperate. He would act like he wasn't waiting. He would wait a few moments before opening the door.
About ten minutes later, he heard a gentle knock on the door. He took a deep breath. He counted slowly to twenty. After counting, he exhaled and opened the door.
He looked up to see Liam. He smiled. It was a bright, happy smile. He couldn't believe how happy he felt just to see him, even though he had just seen him all night at work.
It was different outside of work.
Liam laughed and gently patted the top of Kai's head. He couldn't believe the blonde had greeted him with such a precious smile. It could make his heart melt.
It had been a long time since Liam had felt such genuine affection. The only time he had such a feeling before was with his first lover. The lover ruined his life.
Liam sighed. It wasn't him. He ruined his own life through his own self-hatred and questioning. It was nobody's fault but his own.
He saw someone special in Kai. The anxiety was different in Liam's case, but it was there. There was a smaller, more precious man standing in front of him. Someone to protect. Someone to hold. Someone to cherish.
But Liam felt a pull. He didn't know if he could allow himself to get that close to someone again. He didn't know if he could go through the pain of losing someone so special again.
For now, he would keep those thoughts at bay. What mattered was the man who stood in front of him.
What mattered was the smile.
"Did you miss me?" Liam teased as he walked up to Kai, embracing him in a tender hug.
Kai rested his head against Liam's chest and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. Sure. It was gross. It smelled like cigarettes, but underneath it all, it smelled like the man he cared too much about.
Already.
"I did," Kai mumbled into Liam's chest.
Liam was taken aback by the action and statement. He was so used to Kai having a quick comeback to his teasing, but instead he seemed to be speaking to him in a different manner. It was sincere. It was from his heart. He meant what he said.
Liam smiled and rested his chin gently on top of Kai's soft head of hair. It was different, but so familiar. He could get lost in the embrace. He wanted to get lost in that embrace.
Liam pulled away and shut the door. He pulled off his shoes while Kai watched him.
The expression on the blonde's face was vulnerable, like he was revealing his true nature to him for the first time. He hadn't seen Kai ever look at anyone or anything with such sincerity.
Liam wasn't about to take that for granted. He could tell Kai had trouble expressing his emotions.
Heck, even Liam had become terrible at it.
Kai gently slipped his smaller hand into Liam's and pulled him into the living room. He looked up at him.
"Are you going to sleep next to me?" Kai asked, his voice nearly a whisper.
Liam smiled softly and nodded. "Of course."
Kai smiled back in response. He was happy. It was the happiest he had been in a long time. He wondered if it was what falling in love felt like.
He didn't want to think about the prospect, though. He just wanted to enjoy life in the moment. He felt he could trust Liam. That was what mattered to him.
"Oh," Kai suddenly remarked, tilting his head. "Um, I need to wash my scrubs. Do you want me to wash yours?"
Liam straightened his posture and looked down at Kai. The blonde asked so innocently, like it was such a normal thing to ask. Usually, when somebody would have him over, they wanted to get undressed to get him into bed, but the blonde wanted to do something nice.
It was interesting. It was new.
He felt taken care of.
"Yeah," Liam chuckled. "I smell like smoke. I didn't even think about that."
Kai nodded. He then realized what he had just asked. He hoped Liam didn't get the wrong idea about it.
"If you don't mind me being in my boxers while we sleep," Liam joked.
"Ah-ah, w-well," Kai blushed. "I don't think my clothes will fit you."
"But you don't care?" Liam asked.
"No, I don't," Kai confirmed. "Did you want to shower before you go to sleep?"
Liam nodded. "With you?"
Kai frowned but then laughed. "I'm not ready for..."
Liam chuckled. He leaned down and gently pressed a sweet, light kiss on Kai's lips.
"I was joking."
Kai smiled and looked down shyly. He walked to the bathroom and got his scrub top off of the counter. He then walked back to the living room and looked up at Liam.
"You go ahead," Kai nodded. "When you are done, I will shower. Just toss your clothes in the washer, and I will wash them when I finish."
Liam smiled and walked to the bathroom. He took a towel off the shelf and placed it over the shower rod. He started the shower and slowly stripped off his clothing. He couldn't believe he was taking a shower, so innocently, in the blonde's apartment.
Something about the entire morning seemed special.
Kai went to the small laundry room and placed his scrub top in the washing machine. He then pulled off his scrub pants and tossed them in as well. He was still wearing his white undershirt and boxers, which he felt were appropriate enough. It wasn't any more revealing than swimwear would have been.
He took a deep breath. His heart was beating rapidly. His mind wandered a bit. He thought about Liam being naked in his shower. He had never really had those thoughts before. It gave him a chill.
He went to his bedroom and took a clean shirt out of his dresser. He pulled down the blankets and fluffed the pillows.
In that moment, he was so happy that he made the choice to get a king-sized bed. He didn't really need one, but he liked the extra space. He didn't imagine he would actually ever have anyone else sleep in the same bed as him.
After awhile, Kai went to sit on the couch in the living room. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His mind was racing. There were so many thoughts. So many emotions. He didn't know what to make out of what was going on in both his head and his heart.
He heard Liam step out of the bathroom. He didn't open his eyes.
"L-Liam," he began shyly. "You can go ahead and lay down. I will just shower quickly."
Liam grinned when he saw how shy Kai was acting. He felt it was really sweet. It was different from how he had seen him act before. It was adorable. Everything about Kai was adorable.
"Thanks," Liam stated warmly.
When Kai heard the bed covers rustle, he stood up and walked to the bathroom. He closed the door and took a shower of his own.
Soon, he would be able to curl up and fall asleep next to Liam. It seemed to be all he wanted anymore.
Life couldn't be any better than that Saturday morning in October.