"So, I see you must be surprised."
Ariyama was looking around absentmindedly at the interior of the cramped office, noting the stuffed bookshelves, the cabinets lined with glass statues and more, and the three rectangular windows set into the wall behind the director, which sparkled with light.
At the director's voice, Ariyama snapped to attention.
"Uh, what do you mean… sir?"
The director gave an expressionless look.
"Well, I assume you expected someone more Japanese when it came to the director of the Japan branch, yes?"
"Oh, no, sir, I was just…"
"Like a yakuza boss-type or a Mr Miyagi-type, perhaps? Well, just a little trivia for you: the Society doesn't split the branches by the nationality of the members, just its location on Earth."
The intensity of the director's voice, tied with the lack of any actual anger, completely overloaded Ariyama's senses. He didn't know what to say, what to do, or even what to think. He almost bowed as if the director was a king. Just what kind of effect was he having on him?
Then, as quick as lightning, the burning intensity that made the room twenty degrees hotter sizzled into nothing. Ariyama blew out a breath, shifted uncomfortably on his feet, then finally looked the director in the eye.
And they just stayed there, their gazes locked on one another, the director not moving a muscle. Was this some way of intimidation? It had to be, right? If Ariyama was to get the answers he most desperately wanted, he had to stand up to this middle-aged British guy.
But that was proving to be difficult.
Ariyama swallowed thickly, clenching and unclenching his hands as his palms began to get sweaty.
"I… uh, I have a few questions, if that's alright?"
Ariyama wasn't sure if his breaking the cold silence was proof of his defeat, but he needed those questions answered as soon as possible. The director moved then, reaching up with long, ring-adorned fingers to stroke his clean-shaven face. But still he said nothing.
Deciding that he might as well take his chances, Ariyama put one foot in front of another and did it again and again until he reached the chair that was facing the director from the other side of the large desk. His eyes flitted from the seat, to the director, to the seat, then back to the director, but Ariyama slowly eased himself down. As the chair creaked slightly under his weight, Ariyama sat straight-backed and looked over the desk at the director once again.
Was this bastard ever gonna say something? Anything? It was starting to get on Ariyama's nerves, which were only growing worse over the last few weeks. If that old man didn't say anything in the next few seconds, Ariyama was ready to launch himself over the table, grab the jerk by his shirt collar and rattle him till he spat out some answers–
"You fail."
Ariyama looked up at him, a dumbfounded look on his face.
"I… fail? Uh, sir, what exactly was I being tes–"
"Ask your questions."
"But sir, what do you mean I–"
"Ask."
The coldness in the man's voice sent shivers down Ariyama's spine. What type of creature was this guy, and why was he making Ariyama feel like this?
But on the other hand, Ariyama was grateful to finally be done with all that asserting-dominance-through-silence crap that they had been doing. Now, it was time to get to the bottom of this. Of everything.
Ariyama sat even straighter as he finally gave the director a serious look.
"Why was I brought here?"
"Why do you think? Because our people found you outside the gates of the school you had just decimated, clutched close with that young girl. Despite what you did, we weren't going to leave you alone to die."
Yeah, but wasn't that just the bare minimum?
"I… appreciate that, sir. So, why did you bring me here? Here, as in this office? I was told there's some serious consequences for people who break the rules about exposing their powers."
"There is. And there will be, for you. But I brought you into my office today, as opposed to throwing you into a cell, because you interest me, Ariyama Saato."
"Interest you, how?"
"I'm just surprised that someone such as yourself, with comparatively very little training in use of your Enchanted Tool, could cause such a destructive wave of power. Not to mention, we have detailed the records we could find on that boy you killed; Genichirou Shoei. He wasn't the strongest Tribute by a longshot, but he was no pushover. We recovered his Enchanted Tool from the rubble, and it proves to be formidable while in the right hands. So, Ariyama, I want you to explain to me exactly how you managed to pull that off?"
Ariyama swallowed, but tired his hardest not to fall under the pressure that was exuding from the director.
"Well, I suppose I was trying to protect Kazura, that young girl you mentioned? And I felt this rage bubble up in me, that allowed me to persevere, even when facing someone as dangerous as Genichirou was. I was… going to kill him by myself, for trying to harm Machi. I really was, and I think I was ready for my first kill. But by that point, I was nearly out of energy, so I contacted Idolseus, the Pilgrim in my head, for just a little boost–"
The director shook his head disappointedly.
"I'm not sure what Matsune explained to you on the way here, but you should know I am not a fan of jokes, Ariyama."
At that, Ariyama frowned, raising a brow as he awaited an explanation. When none came, he spoke up again.
"I don't know what joke you're referring to, sir. I can promise you I contacted the Pilgrim in my head and drew out some of his power to…"
The director was looking over his glasses at Ariyama, a look of passive aggression on his face. But also…
Was that a look of disbelief?
Either way, the director sank back in his seat a little, tapping his jaw in thought.
"You… are not lying?"
"No, sir. Matsune did mention I shouldn't do that."
The director muttered under his breath.
"Clever girl. Alright, then, Ariyama. It seems my interest in you has grown into fascination. For someone as untrained as you, to be able to access the powers of their Pilgrim directly, is nothing short of a miracle."
"Wait, are you serious?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"No, sir."
Clarke leaned forward again and interlaced his fingers, resting his chin on them.
"What is your goal? Tell me."
Ariyama fought the urge to go 'huh?'.
"Um, sorry, sir?"
"Do you not understand my language, boy? What is your goal? Call it your dream, your aspiration, what you yearn for. Surely you know what it is?"
Ariyama instinctively bit his lip, averting his gaze to look down at his lap. He did know what it was. But was he really prepared to explain it to the cold and stern director? He felt the man's gaze on him, even as he stared down. The presence that poured from that guy was otherworldly, so much it made Ariyama want to give up, to curl up into a ball and cry himself to sleep.
But he'd go through two life-or-death situations, both of which he barely survived, so was he really going to let this cranky old man intimidate him into not getting anywhere?
Ariyama inhaled a long breath, then let it out. Feeling a slight pressure lifted from his back, Ariyama tensed his jaw before he spoke.
"Before I first got my Enchanted Tool, a group of friends and I got together for an outing. We went to this supposedly abandoned building, planning on entering it and investigating it or whatever. But, the entrance was like this concrete wall. We split up to search for a way in, when I came across this red sigil that blended in with all the graffiti."
"The Shrine Gate."
"Yeah… Anyways, I had come across this book before that talked about it, so, wanting to seem all cool and stuff, I unlocked it. Afterwards, we all went in. There were ten of us, but four people left before we reached the chamber. So, six people went into the chamber, but only two got out: Matsune and I. Ever since, I…"
His voice broke and he chastised himself inwardly, shaking his head as he cleared his throat.
"Sorry. So, ever since then, I've just felt so, so, so guilty. Everytime I think about it, even right now, I feel like I didn't deserve to escape and feel like strangling myself. I mean, Matsune was obviously trained, so no wonder she got out. But why me? Just because I happened to reach the Enchanted Tool first, while everyone else was dying? I don't find that a good enough excuse."
The director waited for him to continue.
"So, what is your goal, Ariyama?"
"I… I don't know if I have one, not after what happened. At first, I wanted validation. Validation that I could have friends due to who I was, not for what I had. But that desperation to have a cool reputation cost the lives of four people. That, I don't know if I'll ever recover from. I just want… I just want to set things right. I want to fight, to somehow redeem myself and make amends for what I've done, even if I didn't know the consequences at the time. I want to fight, but I also hate involving myself in all these desperate stands against these unregistered Tributes. I feel like I should be so much more sacrificial, so I can protect someone else with my life like he did with his for me. But I can't do that, because honestly, I'm scared to die. I'm scared that I'll have some gruelling death, like those people who died in the Shrine. I'm just a big bundle of contradictions and hypocrisy. I don't even know what to do now, not really."
Ariyama didn't realize until then that he was crying, silent tears streaming down his face.
Shit. In front of the director? And what was he thinking, getting all sentimental and dumping all his inner struggles on some random guy he'd met minutes before. What an idiot.
But then the director surprised him, by standing up and pointing at him.
"I can see the struggle that ails you, Ariyama. So, I have a proposition. You say you're too scared to properly involve yourself with our fight, but it's too late now. You must be ready to sacrifice not yourself, but that fear within you, in order to truly redeem yourself. If that's what you want to do, then this is what I recommend. Matsune already signed you up as an official member, so you are now integrated into the Society here. Join us, Ariyama. Join us, and we will train you, so you will be strong enough that you will no longer have that fear of dying within you. Instead, you will embrace death. Not in the way that you will accept it, but in the way that you will overcome it. Outgrow it. Because a person that is as strong as a mountain. For, if a person can overcome their fear of death, they can learn to overcome any fear. And, if you can overcome your fears, and if you can train under us here at the Pilgrims' Society, you will get that opportunity at redemption. If your actions have cost the lives of four people, then you need to save the lives of five, or six, or seven, or more. Battling and apprehending unregistered Tributes is just one of the many operations the Society as a whole runs. But if you wish to repent for your sins, that's the best way to do it."
Wow.
Ariyama's wide-eyed stare met Clarke's cold but fiery gaze.
"So, what will you do now?"
Ariyama struggled to find the right words to use. Finally, he had his answer.
"I…"