I remember the first time I held Mira in my arms. I could still remember it so vividly, those big round eyes that looked at me, filled with innocence and a face that had a bright smile that would make even the world melt. She was so small, so fragile, yet when her tiny fingers wrapped around mine, my heart pounded against my ribs as if it were trying to escape. It was like she had taken hold of my very soul.
A strange feeling flooded my entire being, something I had never felt before—something warm, powerful, and terrifying, she really captured my entire being with that tiny hand. My thoughts were in chaos as I stared at her tiny fingers grasping mine. Silently, I promised her I would always be there to protect her, would look out for her, care for her. Who knew that fate would play by such cruel rules? I feel so lost, Mira. Please forgive your elder brother.
Before everything went haywire, life was simple. My days were spent helping my father in the fields—planting seeds, pulling weeds, feeling the rich soil beneath my hands. We plowed the land, grew enough for the family, and sold the rest. Sure, it was mundane, but it brought me joy and peace, which is what I really desire in this cold.
I loved the smell of the earth after a good rain, the way the crops grew little by little. Sometimes, when we could afford it, we'd hire the town mage to help with the land. He was expensive, but he kept the soil from going arid, ensuring we wouldn't suffer any losses. Father cursed him now and then, but at least life was peaceful.
Mother, whom I called Ma, would call us in for supper. I can still hear her soft, honeyed voice echoing in my ears. I'd help her with the chores—nothing too burdensome. Sometimes, Ma would send me away, nagging about how I was ruining the clothes with my washing methods.
I remember walking off to the hill just outside our village, where I could see the entire valley spread out before me. I'd sit there and think about things—about the farm, about Mira, and about her. And whenever her face appeared in my mind, I couldn't help but smile. I must have looked so naïve.
Her name was Elara. I didn't talk about her much, not even to myself. She was the kind of girl you admired from a distance, the kind that made your heart race just by looking at her. She had eyes like the sky after a storm—deep, clear, dreamy and a laugh that could chase away the darkest clouds, lighting up the world, well it lit up mine.
I'd seen her in the village a few times, but I never had the courage to say more than a few words. I wanted to tell her how I felt, how just seeing her brightened my day, but I was always too scared. Maybe it was because I was afraid she'd think I was weird—or worse, that she'd dismiss me. I kept postponing it, thinking there would be time later. I wish I hadn't done that. I really regret it.
Just when everything seemed peaceful, soldiers arrived in our village. They said a war had broken out on the borders, and with it came the king's decree. Every boy old enough to hold a sword was to join the army. I was fifteen, so it became mandatory for me.
The soldiers came, their faces stern, their eyes cold. My father—Pa—tried to reason with them, tried to explain that I was needed on the farm and wasn't cut out for fighting, but they wouldn't listen.
They dragged me away, my heart pounding in my chest. I looked back one last time as they hauled me off, and I saw Ma standing there, Mira in her arms, tears streaming down her face. My father stood with his head bowed, his fists clenched. I think I can still hear him gritting his teeth, and a single tear fell for my sake. Mira cried her heart out. I really hated the king for that.
But no matter how much I resent him, I knew I wasn't even strong enough to carry his shoes, much less stand against him. I saw children as young as twelve, huddling together in the corner, crying silently for their parents, but there was no one to comfort them. I couldn't either. I could barely hold myself together. How could I tell them it would be alright, that we were going to be fine? Soon, we arrived at the barracks.
The barracks were a world away from the farm—cold, harsh, unforgiving. They handed us swords that were too big for some, armor that didn't fit, and told us we were soldiers now. I wasn't ready. None of us were. But we had no choice. Every day was a struggle to survive, to keep up with the relentless training, to ignore the fear gnawing at us—the constant thought that anything could happen.
I missed home so much it hurt. I held the cold mud in my hands and longed for the feel of the warm soil, the warmth of the sun, the sound of Ma's voice. Most of all, I missed Mira. I wondered if she would remember me, if she would even know who I was when—if—I ever came home. These thoughts gnawed at me constantly.
Our first "war" was a nightmare. We were thrown into battles we had no business fighting, facing men twice our size with nothing but desperation to survive. But the "king" had no care for pawns like us, throwing us from one battlefield to another. In just one year, I saw things I wish I had never seen, did things I never wanted to do. I just wanted to go home, but now I'm thinking, am I really allowed to return after the horrible things I've done? When I close my eyes, the faces of those who died by my hand keep appearing, looking at me, asking if I deserve to be with my family.
Each day chipped away a piece of my soul until I hardly recognized myself. I wasn't Luka, the farm boy, anymore. I was just another soldier, another expendable body in a war that seemed to have no end. I looked around and saw nothing but faces like mine. I really don't know what's happening anymore. I just stared at the gloomy sky and the corpses that we left behind at each battle. Some of them were soldiers that ate with us in the morning and now here they were, lying on the ground, motionless. I feel sick but my body is not anymore. I guess it got used to this. I remember I cried myself to sleep after my first battle and vomited until nothing was left in my body to retch out anymore.
But during those darkest moments, something still held me to life—memories. I'd close my eyes and see the distant farm, feel the warmth of Mira in my arms, her small fingers holding mine, her round emerald eyes looking at me with curiosity. I could hear Elara's laugh. I could remember Pa's curses.
Those memories were the only things that kept me going, the only thing that gave me the strength to keep fighting. I would imagine what I would say to Elara if I ever saw her again, how I would tell her everything I'd kept inside for so long. I wouldn't hesitate anymore. But the more time passed, the more that hope began to fade.
Then, one day, we were told that we would be besieging a fortress called Iron'Heits. Just like in any other battle, we prepared and advanced, but as we arrived before the fortress—almost impossible to breach—the "king" commanded us to help our allies and ordered us to stand down until further notice.
I didn't know what was happening, but like any other soldier, we complied. We waited while preparing for the siege, but something about this felt different. I don't know why, but my heart told me something was very wrong.
Then it happened—one day, an explosion resounded in the camp, sending everyone into high alert. Upon investigation, we were told it was a mage's experiment gone wrong. Many of us had our doubts, including me, but what could we do except hold it in?
And so the nightmare began. As days passed, explosions occurred left and right, making everyone nervous. We eyed each other warily, and the "king" isolated many people, but no matter what they did, the explosions didn't stop. One day, I got hit by one too.
Just when I think everything was over, Mira, I saw something that made my soul shake to its core. There was a giant creature that rid the cloud and brought down hell on the soldiers. Just looking at it made my whole body shiver. It seems my wrongdoings have caught up to me.
I just kept staring at the creature in the sky that dived and ate people. I don't know how to describe it, Mira. I ran, like other soldiers, I ran for my life. But my thoughts were in some place else while I was running. Many soldiers were with me, but soon the creature let out a strange mist that corroded everything.
I can barely remember it. The pain was sharp, but what really brought me down was the exhaustion. I was so tired—tired of fighting, tired of the fear, tired of being away from everything I loved. As I lay there, the world grew darker around me. I could hear people screaming as I thought of home. I thought of Pa working the fields alone, of Ma trying to manage without me, of Mira growing up without her big brother. I thought of Elara, of what might have been if I'd only had the courage to speak.
As the darkness closed in, I realized something: all I had ever wanted was to help my family, to live a simple life on the farm, to hold Mira in my arms again, and to tell Elara that I loved her. But the heartless "king" and his war had taken all that from me, had taken everything I had ever cared about. A tear slipped down my cheek, and I felt a strange kind of peace. At least now, I wouldn't have to fight anymore.
In these final moments, I close my eyes and let the memories wash over me, Mira. I find myself back on the farm, the warm sunrays striking on my face, the air filled with the scent of fresh earth. I can see Pa beside me, Ma calling from the house, and there in my arms is you, Mira, your tiny fingers curled around mine. I am holding you close to my chest, feeling that strange, warm love once more.
Ahh… The world is fading away. I am home.
I don't know why I struggled so much. Pa, Ma, Mira, Elara… I'm home.
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As Luka felt the world fading away and lost consciousness, the infection took hold of him at a rapid pace. He began doing what the newly infected do—he consumed. His heart started thumping once more, and his eyes opened, now glowing with a red hue. The infected Luka clawed at his heart, and let out a heart wrenching cry as if trying to get rid of something, but no matter what it did, it couldn't remove the curse within.
Amid the chaos that the whale spread, no one noticed a soldier dragging another soldier's body away. And so, unnoticed, a seed was planted, one that would eventually cause the demise of the Alliance.