"You'll help me, or the world will be doomed!" Harley whined dramatically. "As if Bane, Joker, Two-Face, and Riddler are all sweethearts."
"Even a lunatic like you enjoys being alive," Batman countered.
"How about a little sweetener for the deal? Treat me to a day of spa treatment and give my little cousin a signed photo of Batman, he is seriously ill." Adam ignored her, walking around to the other side of the Batmobile. He counted silently in his head.
3
"Hey, Bats! Only I can—"
2
"Bats? Batman?"
1
"Alright, alright, you're the boss." Harley finally conceded, hopping into the passenger seat. Tim, the third Robin, who had witnessed the entire exchange, scratched his head in bewilderment.
"Wait, Harley Quinn is coming with us?" He questioned Adam.
"Not my first choice," Batman replied, "But we can't let her out of our sight."
"She might warn Poison Ivy we're looking for her."
"Ha! You got that right!" Harley chimed in. Harley Quinn said unhappily, she put on a cross-eyed look, then pressed her fingers on her temples, making a silly expression. "Dangerous lunatic comin' through! Who knows what she'll do."
The three of them piled into the car.
"Harley, I just need you to help us find Poison Ivy. That's it. We can handle the rest ourselves," Adam said, pretending to steer the Batmobile. He wasn't the real Batman, and he had no idea how to drive this tank-like vehicle. The AI had been handling it so far. "First, we'll make a quick stop. Then, we'll head out to find Ivy."
"Okay, so what exactly is Ivy up to?" Harley asked.
"Based on the expertise of the kidnapped scientist, Professor Goldblum, the ideologies of Plant Master and Poison Ivy, and the attacks on the Joint Institute for Advanced Superhumans and S.T.A.R. Labs," Adam began, "I've concluded that they'll definitely use a synthetic formula to create swamp monsters, turn them into a rapidly spreading virus, and then cleanse the earth, turning humans into plant-animal hybrids."
"What? Ugh!" Harley stretched her neck and made an exaggerated gagging sound. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not a species-ist or anything—". She patted her pale chest with her tiny hands. "I mean, some of my best friends are plants."
"Well, at least on the bright side, they won't kill everyone," Robin offered.
"Maybe," Adam replied, "but if they succeed, we're all screwed. We'll all be living like plants." He glanced at Harley and said to her deliberately, "And if their plan goes even slightly wrong, we could see all life on Earth extinct within weeks, even days."
"Wow, that's intense," Harley said, seemingly unfazed.
"But wait," Tim, the third Robin, interjected. "Why do they need Professor Goldblum? Why not just release the virus themselves?"
"It's a shortcut, obviously," he answered his own question. "Genetic engineering could take years, even decades. Once they start, they can't go back to being fully human. She's a natural mutant, and he's a tree spirit from another dimension who came to merge with regular people and ended up succumbing to the Green."
"Tree spirits from other dimensions, are you kidding me?" Harley exclaimed dramatically.
Adam responded, "It's not like you haven't seen supernatural beings before, Clayface, Killer Croc, don't they—" . "Forget it," he sighed. "We just need your help finding Poison Ivy." The Batmobile drove on, eventually stopping in front of a rundown apartment building.
...
Massacre Swamp.
Inside a ramshackle wooden house, filled with various scientific equipment, Poison Ivy was passionately kissing Professor Goldblum.
"Ugh, this is revolting! Disgusting!" Plant Master, a walking, talking tree with lush foliage and a furry green head sporting elf-like ears, stood nearby feigning disgust. After a long moment, they broke apart. Professor Goldblum's eyes glowed green as he stumbled towards a table, mindlessly beginning to concoct a potion.
"You think I enjoy this? Swapping spit with him every six hours?" Poison Ivy wiped her mouth, spitting on the ground. "If you have a better way to make him obey, I'm all ears," she said with disdain.
"Tsk." Plant Master crossed his branches. "There are always sacrifices to be made."
"I don't want sacrifices."
"There are seven billion meat sacks out there. Our plan will be their sacrifice...or at least a harsh lesson."
"No," Poison Ivy corrected, "our plan is purification. To cleanse all organic matter on Earth. It's a noble, righteous act."
"Noble and righteous," Plant Master scoffed. "Those words are so ironic. Invented by a bunch of unfeeling louts who disregard other species and fight amongst themselves."
"Exactly," Poison Ivy interjected. "They constantly talk about climate change, yet they're the ones causing it." On this point, at least, she and Plant Master agreed. It was the foundation of their partnership. "Indeed, their doing," Plant Master concurred. "They've doubled greenhouse gas emissions, recklessly deforested, and ravaged the planet. You once said something, Pamela, and I quote, 'Humans won't care about any of this until we force them to'."
The two plant-based villains shared a knowing smile, their minds in perfect sync. They stood before the professor, gazing at the grand design of their scheme. "Soon, once our virus is activated, everyone on this planet will receive a tremendous gift: the greening of everything!"
Professor Goldblum, wearing rubber gloves, carefully extracted a white mouse from a cage and aimed a syringe at it. "You'll feel a little... a little pinch, little guy. It'll all be over soon." He injected the bright green liquid.
Under the watchful eyes of the two villains, the mouse gradually turned green, its body sprouting leaves until it became a green mouse. "Success! It's stable!" Plant Master boomed, his voice filled with ecstasy. "Oh my, look how beautiful he is!"
Poison Ivy, barely able to contain her excitement, cupped the mouse in her hand. "Come to mommy—"
Plant Master raised his branches. "This is not just a green mouse, it's the dawn of a new era. Humanity's filthy factories will be replaced by towering fir cathedrals—lush greenery will blanket the Earth—it will—"
Poof!
The green mouse exploded into a disgusting, sticky mess.
.....
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