During this period, the company launched a major marketing campaign in Shanghai, so I finally ended my days of traveling between three cities. Being a reliable key player has its perks. However, as soon as the campaign plan was approved, I received some news—whether good or bad, I couldn't tell: I would be fully responsible for this event.
Theoretically, this is good news, as it shows the boss's trust in me and his intention to cultivate my skills. But on the downside, I didn't have enough confidence in myself. The reason I've managed to land a senior position is, frankly, more due to luck than actual ability. I've always had a bit of cleverness, occasionally coming up with some creative ideas. It was pure luck that one of my ideas aligned with the boss's thoughts and was quite successful (spearheaded by the boss himself). Since then, the boss has treated me as a kindred spirit, and my position began to climb.
In the days that followed, I mostly worked on project planning (basically spouting off all sorts of wild ideas, which we like to call "brainstorming" or "creative thinking"). I didn't have to deal much with actual execution. The boss especially liked to seek my opinion on various proposals from others. I would use my cleverness to add some finishing touches to these plans, and the boss always praised me. Honestly, making suggestions on others' plans is far easier than creating a plan from scratch.
Since taking on this project, I, who always had excellent sleep quality and could fall asleep within three minutes in any situation, started suffering from insomnia. I didn't understand why I felt so much pressure. Usually indifferent to things, I suddenly found myself with a sense of responsibility, wanting to live up to the boss's trust and my own abilities. Perhaps I sensed the crisis. The feeling of anxiety only comes when you have something to lose. I genuinely felt that my abilities did not match my salary.
At 6:00 AM, I had been lying in bed for over two hours without a trace of sleepiness. Since I couldn't sleep, I decided not to force myself. After all, I didn't need to clock in at a specific time (another privilege granted by the boss). It was better to get up.
I made myself a cup of instant coffee and sat on the sofa in the living room, staring into space. I have no taste because I only like instant coffee. When the boss occasionally chats with me about "high society" topics, it's the most painful time for me. Deep down, I admit I'm a vulgar person. I don't aspire to have any unique qualities. I comfort myself by thinking that perhaps being extremely vulgar is a form of elegance. The most important thing is to live comfortably.
"What a rare sight, seeing our piggy master awake at 6:00 AM?" Ranqing was also up early for some reason.
I smiled wryly and said, "I didn't wake up; I haven't slept."
"You must have been battling in your virtual world all night again?" Ranqing knew about my love for games.
"No, I just couldn't sleep."
"You must be joking. Our piggy master, unable to sleep? You've always boasted about your unbeatable sleeping skills."
I gave another wry smile without answering.
Ranqing seemed to sense something was wrong. She touched my forehead and, in her usual tone, asked, "What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"
"No, there's nothing physically wrong. It's just a lot of mental stress."
"What happened?"
"The company wants me to take full responsibility for a project." "That's great! You have a chance to show your abilities."
"It's great if you have the ability. But I've never independently managed such a large-scale marketing event. I have no experience. I've only ever been involved in the initial planning stage, imagining things wildly without worrying about feasibility. I never participated much in the execution phase. Now..."
Ranqing looked me up and down, giving me an encouraging smile. "Don't worry too much. Just do your best. Understand your shortcomings, and you'll get better and better."
"Get better and better? That requires a chance to 'get better.' If I mess this up, I don't know if I can keep my senior employee title."
"Relax a bit. How about this? I can't help much with your work, but I'll take full responsibility for the housework during this period. I'll take care of your daily needs. Is that good enough?" Could I be stupid enough to refuse such generous terms? In the midst of the pressure, I finally felt a sense of support and gratefully said, "Is that for real? Then I'll rely entirely on you. I'm hungry now. Can you make me something to eat? I haven't washed my clothes in a while, so could you help with that too? Also, the fridge is running low on cola and snacks. Oh, and the water, electricity, and gas bills are due. When the landlord comes by in a few days, it would be great if you could handle the rent as well..."
I was also surprised at how I expressed my gratitude. Ranqing stood with her hands on her hips, her eyes widening. The final scene, of course, was of a beautiful woman using a sofa cushion to beat a handsome guy she still thought was quite dashing.