I did not want a repeat of what happened on the weekend, I don't have the same luxury that he did. I have been thinking of him too much. He has occupied my mind for a long time, more than I wish to accommodate him and it was time to kick him out, he was out of rent. I wasn't going to fall off the wagon and be intimate with him. What we did over the weekend, what I did with him, that was a time thing, it is not going to happen again. As much as I wanted to get laid, I would rather get someone else.
I had sworn not to talk to him until the D-day, which is on Wednesday, a day from today. Here I am drinking, light cocktails to appease him, trying to make a conversation. He sat there piercing me with his beautiful eyes, drawing me in. Was I pushing this too much? I was just pissed; angry at everything, myself, him, Matt, my world, and all these feelings are amplified, and I can't control them. He seemed to be at peace, unbothered and that bothered me.
