I take my time to study him and appreciate his physique, but I couldn't agree that out aloud; his natural commanding aura all around him is a work of art. He is still handsome, more in a manly way not the rakish boyish manner; I just want to stare at him, absorb all of him, etch him in my mind. I finally put the phone away and give him my attention, the quicker we get over this the better but with the way things have been going, I doubt it; it seems we were just getting started
A waiter comes around and she breaks the trance I was in. He ordered for himself what I had before and one more of what I was having. I noticed the similarities; in case I get kidnapped by him, at least I will have a smothering drink before I die or escape. Back to the conversations in my mind, how should I approach this? All the liquid courage down the drain, I can't have another because I should be a bit sober for all this craziness to be over or slow down a bit, maybe move somewhere more private with silence because this place has started to get too loud.
"Hey, can we find a quieter place?
"Here is pretty fine," he says looking me straight in the eye, I had to back down. A stopper. I didn't feel like talking over the loud blasting music; mouth shut could do for now. Let him be in control, he seems to be craving it, showing who is boss every second of it. Let him have a field day; so the staring contest began, looking forward to who would break and crumble first. What was he looking for intensely on my face, was he going to do the talking first, what was in his mind?
I hate being in suspense, he is here finally why shouldn't we get this going? Maybe he needed time to adjust. So back to studying him, it happens he's doing the same. This is annoying; I don't know how long I was going to hold his stare. Am always better and more steady, but I feel like I am crumbling. No poker face on, it is just me, bare for him to trust enough and not question my intentions even if they might be selfish and I feel like strangling him. Finally, he cracks, what a relief, he smiles lightly, barely noticing and I get a glimpse of the boy I knew before it vanished, as if never there in the beginning.
"What you drinking?"
"I don't know… it's drinkable, has lemon pint in it, a bit bitter, the average alcohol for girls." I was rambling, what had gotten in me?
"Your first time here?" Are we friends now catching up or was he trying to butter me up before the kill?
"Yes, you?"
"Not really," he is casual all the way. Cool, two can play civilized, feelings and wants aside.
"A regular then…"
"Not on the basis, I check it out sometimes."
"It is standard for the night crowd"
"Yes, it is."
A waiter brings the drink; the service here is fast and good. Glad this is still going, wherever it is actually. He needs another if I want him to talk. I saw the opportunity present itself earlier when his eyes did roam; a glint crossed his eyes, an appreciation, my efforts were not in vain. According to my research, his dressing is always impeccable; his fashion sense hadn't escaped him, and the taste of classy and fancy combined. He always kills it no matter what he wears, hence it's nice to try a bit and get it right.
"Ready to tell me everything?" I couldn't just wait for this cat-and-mouse chase game, I didn't like it and I was tired of it.
"Let's enjoy the night and the delicacy it brings forth to us," what, is it poetry now? What was this game? I have lived with very manipulative people and unfortunately, I couldn't learn any of their ways apart from pinpointing them out, one could come in handy now.
"Okay." What else could I say? I have to try another angle instead of being straight head-on.
"What do you want to have?" I didn't understand the question; I had no answer for him.
"Wanna switch your drink? …There is a food menu on the side; you can choose whatever to munch on." Caring now?
"Am cool."
I wasn't sulking, I wanted to go home and lie down,maybe watch one of the housewives shows or comedy to laugh my stress off; him wanting us to have dinner and drinks like friends doesn't sit well with me, and people who do that treat each other with kindness or decency. All I wanted was for him to be out with it, solve it; be freaking done. This is more of a transaction than a pleasantry; I was here because I had to be here if not there were going to be consequences and that's not how friendship works.
Another round of drinks, he orders beer instead, going light, not good for my plans but it's still early, and adds; a platter of fries, sausages, eggs, bacon, humbuggers, fried chicken with bottles of water; a serving of two to his order.
"What are you up to nowadays, long time no see," he goes on. Guess we doing this and pretense is the key.
"Been here, there, up and down."
"What does that mean?"
"Trying to get away from you people," I say politely. I didn't know if he noticed the resentment in my tone.
This draws another smile. Cool, I can handle this, I am used to being civilized, it comes with the world I have grown up in.
I had to find another way soon; between the double drinks they were delivering, and crazy pop popping the speakers everywhere, it was frustrating to think. Finishing my drink, I excuse myself and head for the ladies' room. I could trust him with my drink, but again what if he drugs me? Then I can't get any upper hand or anything. I know he can't be that wicked to do it, besides people were milling around but better be careful than sorry.
'I need to find a way', the chant repeated like a mantra; maybe the amount of liquor consumed was making the emphasis. Need to sober up a bit, after releasing some in the privy, washing my hands, splashing some water on my face, light up touches, and lipstick remedy on, time to go face him again and pretend to be okay with all this, at least he isn't that boring and for old time's sake am going to give him that.
Gliding myself between bodies, when some jam I know played and I just had to get it on; it's a reflex, more so in this state; carefree. What will happen next will just happen so cherish the moments, it's been a while so let me have it even if the circumstances on the table aren't favorable.
It's like the DJ was waiting for me to get up. The first, the second, they all got to me. He was steering the deck to the right direction, not only for me but almost the whole crowd. Not good anymore after the third song, with the mingling of bodies it became too much.
Cramming my way out back to the table, looking for the back of his head, what I met were his eyes instead, drinking me in, good to know? Someone was watching and I wasn't self-conscious back there; a weakness might come in handy and he had changed tables, what was he up to?
I sit down opposite him, calming down from the thrill.
"Another round?"
"Yes, maybe shots too."
"Perfect."
Within seconds a server appears after him lifting two fingers up.
"Two shots please, double." The hard way, cool. The waiter takes one of the bottles from his waist and pours us the orders.
"Ouch!" by now my taste buds should be numb.
The buzz of liquor doing its job, I needed to get this done or some air. If he didn't have enough people to hang out with, he could just have said that than going the wrong way about it.
A waiter comes back with packages and places them on the side of the table. Was all that food his or there is another person; wife maybe, girlfriend; who knows? I was glad this torture was coming to an end
"Mind heading out… a better silent place to talk?" Oh my gosh! Finally, it is like he read my mind; I still hate it; him calling the shots.
"Sure," trying not to sound too eager and annoyed at the same time, after he declined that from the beginning.
After drowning the glasses, he picks up my jacket and my clutch; its string coiled up, and hands them to me. He then picks up the packages and guides our way towards the double-open doors out of the club. Taking a turn to a different corridor to a lift and getting inside, instead of going down, we head up. The lift opens up stopping at a hallway leading to opposite doors. Are my nightmares and fears coming to life or what? He strides ahead and opens one, ushering me in. You can't imagine what was going on through my mind; a million questions crisscrossing by. Hope he doesn't try anything stupid.