The cool morning breeze seeped through the window, the curtain fluttering as if dancing to the sound of the birds singing outside. Feeling the warmth of the sun's rays against my face, I slowly opened my eyes reluctantly.
'I've woken up once again', I commented internally without realizing it. Every morning was a gift to me, another chance given to me by some higher entity that allowed me to live another beautiful day in this beautiful world. At least that's what I told myself, since I didn't believe I was living in a certain way.
"Good morning, I see you're awake. Let's get the first medicine of the day, Eli.", greeted a nurse as she entered the room, a gesture I nodded slightly in response; I wasn't awake or excited enough to say anything.
I took the pills given to me by the nurse and waited for her to return with my breakfast. This routine had been ingrained in my life ever since I was admitted here, taking my medication and sitting in bed waiting for the next batch of drugs needed to keep me alive for another period.
As usual I began to observe the room, the white walls devoid of any apparent decoration highlighted my thoughts and emotions, I felt as if I could mentally paint them with my desires, only this time that whiteness really reflected my inner self.
"Empty...", I thought out loud.
As I continued my observation, I noticed that there were some new flowers on the piece of furniture next to me, I believe they had changed them when they cleaned the room yesterday, the dead flowers from before had a certain charm so I never complained about them being there, after all it was the last thing my mother left for me before abandoning me in this hospital. Next to the flowers was my old companion, a small tablet that I got from the hospital staff a few years ago, they gave it to me when I mentioned that I liked to read and they realized that I had already read all the books brought by my family.
"I guess I can be grateful that they brought my books back then", I commented with a mocking smile.
Interrupting my little remark, the nurse came in carrying a trolley with a tray containing my breakfast. Unfortunately, the only foods my body could tolerate were porridge and soup, if I didn't want to have to live on an IV.
"Dr. Steven will come to examine you later", the nurse informed me as she fed me. I couldn't muster much strength in my body at the moment and even lifting a spoon was difficult.
After I'd finished eating, I looked at the nurse, who was collecting the tray, and asked:
"Can you put the tablet on for me? I want to watch some anime."
She readily agreed with a friendly smile and turned on the tablet, placing it on my lap. There was a stand and a wireless control that allowed me to use the device without too much trouble. After helping me get organized for my leisure, the nurse left the room. Ever since I was diagnosed with a rare degenerative disease at the age of 6, I have lived in hospital. Looking at the date displayed on the tablet, I realized an unpleasant fact.
"My birthday...", I said despondently. Today I turn 17, for some it would be a reason to celebrate, but for me it's just a reminder of how much of my life this illness has robbed me of. Not wanting to continue in this sad mood, I started watching some of the anime I had listed the day before.
After a few hours, a doctor came in and greeted me. He went over to the chart on my bed and started reading it.
"Aren't you going to examine me this time, doctor?", I asked curiously.
"The results of your blood test came back, along with the CT scan", said the doctor. Since I didn't have anyone responsible who actually came to the hospital to receive news about my health, I started to be informed personally about the state of my body.
Even though he tried to hide his distress with a calm expression, I could sense that my situation was not at all good. Trying to reassure me, he said that they could ask for a transfer to a hospital outside the country if necessary. I knew that wouldn't be possible, as my family wouldn't be able to afford it even if they could. They only pay for this hospital so they don't have to look after me and because it's cheaper for them.
"In short, Elijah. Your body's condition has worsened, the degenerative cells that affected your legs and spine have now reached your nervous system and even some very delicate organs.'
"What organs?", I asked, dreading to hear the answer.
"Kidneys, lungs and... brain."
After that, Dr. Steven tried to calm me down by saying that they would find a way to reverse the situation, but I had already understood my fate this time. Not satisfied with stealing my freedom and my life, keeping me imprisoned in a hospital bed, this disease had now decided to take me once and for all.
"How long?", I asked in a somber tone.
"1 month... at most."
I asked the doctor to leave and leave me alone, I needed to absorb the fact that my days were literally numbered this time. Even though I felt like crying, no tears fell, the only thing left inside me, just like those white walls, was pure emptiness.
A week passed and I was just lying there wandering through the huge list of anime, even though I like to read the novels more than watch them, when I came across a work that I had seen commented on in the past, because apparently the author had died before finishing it and that's why the anime never had a continuation, a strange feeling of empathy made me click to watch it.
After receiving that news, my days became monochrome. Living alone in a hospital room, my senses became sharper, allowing me to hear a little of what was going on outside those walls and even smell the flowers from the garden outside, which traveled through the fresh winds, up to the ceiling, which allowed me to feel every distressing detail of that soft bed that was practically my cage.
None of it made sense anymore, since I could die at any moment anyway, why bother with the flowers or what they were talking about outside this room? I felt quite hypocritical for thinking that, since before that I had simply wished I wouldn't wake up anymore.
"In the end, everyone fears death, it seems", I said, mocking my own hypocrisy. Trying to dispel these morbid thoughts, I focused on watching the anime to the end.
¤¤¤
My eyes were slightly reddened from having spent the whole day staring at the tablet screen. Blinking a few times to relieve the sting, I noticed the room was dark, it had already gotten dark. Sighing, I relaxed completely in bed and began to think about the anime I had seen.
The zombie apocalypse genre was something I had only seen a few times, but this one captivated me with its beautiful characters and well-done animation.
"Would I ever be able to date a girl as beautiful as her?", I asked the wind that came subtly through the open window. -"I don't think so, after all, I'm going to die soon.
My eyes began to feel heavy and my vision to darken, I slowly stopped feeling my limbs and other parts of my body. 'How strange', I thought as my consciousness began to fade along with my reasoning, the machine they had connected to me to measure my heartbeat began to make a non-stop noise, signaling my end. My last sight before falling into the deep darkness of unconsciousness was the nurses who had looked after me for all these years coming desperately into the room, their mouths moving as if they were saying something, but I couldn't hear anything else.
Before I was completely sucked into the darkness, one last thought came to mind with a regretful smile:
'If I could have a second chance at life, I think I'd choose to live in the anime world'
And so Elijah Reed passed away.