"I'm a fool," Mathias mumbled, disgusted with himself.
The memory of kicking Rose replayed in his head over and over again. At that moment, kicking her was all that Mathias could think of to get Rose to stop talking.
"How is she still alive?" Mathias wondered, biting at his nails as his panic grew.
No one was to know that he was once to be branded a slave. Mathias didn't have any concerns about returning to this town since no one should recognise him.
Mathias glanced at the mirror on the wall. "How did she recognise me? Why is she holding onto that silly promise?"
He had come too far with raising his status to be hearing about the days when he was being sold. They were children when they made that promise. Why was Rose so foolish to think he would keep it?
"I need to find her," Mathias decided.
Rose needed to be silenced before she said too much. The chances of anyone taking her words seriously were low, but Mathias didn't want there to be anything said.
"I should have brought her here. Then I could have silenced her. I need to find her before Alexander," Mathias plotted.
Years had passed but Mathias knew that once Alexander saw Rose old feelings would come back. Alexander was more suited to be with a lady rather than someone who was sold to be someone's slave.
Mathias dipped his hands in a bucket filled with water which was meant for the horses to drink and wet his face with it. One day, Rose could forgive him for ignoring her. She had to understand that they could not spoil their names now.
What would it look like for their past to be revealed and for the men around them to know that they had been lying from the beginning? They didn't need being slaves to overshadow their accomplishments especially when the king was thinking of rewarding Alexander.
"What are you doing?" Alexander asked as he entered the tent assigned to Mathias. He was puzzled by Mathias making use of the water he was meant to carry out to his horse. "You are normally too proud to do something like that. Just get someone to fetch water for you."
Mathias turned to face Alexander.
"I heard you had a bit of trouble on the way here. What was it?" Alexander questioned as he took off his coat.
"Nothing to worry about. Just a few of the people getting in the way of my horse. Alexander," Mathias started but hesitated. "Some of the men are going around the town to enjoy themselves. Are you going too?"
"We had a long boat ride here and all I want is food then to rest. You can go on without me. I don't like being here," Alexander replied.
Alexander remembered what this town was in his youth. Being here was uncomfortable so all he wanted to do was stay in his tent. Drinking and enjoying being off a ship could come later.
"Right. It is a bit uncomfortable for me as well because of the history. We must keep it between ourselves. You know-"
"You wish to hide what we almost became. I know," Alexander answered. They had worked hard to get rid of their past. Luckily, no one ever questioned the story they came up with.
Knowing the men around them better now, Alexander did not think anyone would care that they were to be turned into slaves, but they had already told the lie. There were some enemies amongst the king's men who would make sport of their past and try to speak poorly of them though they had worked their way up.
Mathias liked that Alexander was on the same page as him. It was a good start to trust that should Rose go up to Alexander as she did with him, Alexander would be mindful of the eyes watching them.
If he could find Rose before she found Alexander, Mathias knew he could stir her away from approaching Alexander. Rose should want the best for them now and not sully their name with their past.
Alexander looked at Mathias, finding him to be bothered by something. "What is troubling you? Are you nervous about the commander coming? That old fart will just drink and pass out around women. Then ask us not to speak of it to his wife. You can relax."
"Right, right. I should get dressed to leave with the men yet to go. You can rest here," Mathias offered.
If Rose was bold to come here where all the soldiers rested, Alexander would be in the wrong tent.
"My tent is comfortable," Alexander answered, denying the offer.
Mathias turned around to take off his shirt.
"Do you think Rose is still here?" Alexander asked.
It had crossed his mind from the moment he was told that they were to travel here. This was the very town they had left Rose behind in. While he wanted to forget the horrors of being a child who would be sold, he could not forget about Rose.
"It's been eight years since then, Alexander. You know as much as I do how much they were obsessed with her. She is gone," Mathias replied, continuing to back Alexander so his face would not reveal what his mouth did not. "Don't go looking into the past. You won't like what you find."
Of course, Rose was still on Alexander's mind. Mathias thought himself foolish for believing that Alexander would have forgotten when it had been obvious in the past that Alexander cared for Rose more than a friend.
Alexander wouldn't understand it yet so Mathias had to be a good friend to protect him. There were other women worth their time lining up to get their attention. A woman in the palace court had her eyes set on Alexander so Mathias would not allow the past to get in the way.
"I suppose so but we should at least try to look for her. To know what happened to her. We gave her our word that we could go back for her. You have not forgotten, have you?" Alexander asked, hoping Mathias did not forget.
Some days, Alexander couldn't get over how Mathias had pushed Rose out of the way and went through the wall before her only to be stuck. What could have happened if Rose had made it out with him instead of Mathias? Would he still have this life or would he have found something better?
"I have not forgotten. It's thanks to her leading those men away that we got away. I just think that eight years later, we won't find anything about her and if we dig around too much, we might expose our pasts. I don't want to be known as the boy who was sold so please, don't go looking for someone who doesn't exist anymore," Mathias pleaded with Alexander.
Only a fool would look into the past which had nothing to offer them and not into the future which had status or wealth awaiting them.
Alexander couldn't give Mathias an answer now. If there were any clues to Rose being alive while he was in town, he had to keep his promise.
Mathias had been with Alexander long enough to know what the silence meant. "Get some rest. I have to leave now."