"Black clothes inside, spicy mulberry moves me..."
The familiar yet unfamiliar ringtone woke Su Huai from deep sleep, he fumbled for his mobile phone with closed eyes, and let out a groggy "hmm."
"Hmm? Who is this?"
"Son! Have you arrived at school yet? Mom has been waiting for your call; waiting in vain, I've even worried that something might have happened to you..."
What's happening?!
Su Huai's consciousness gradually returned, and then he was shocked by the content of the call.
Arrive at school?
Which school?!
Su Huai quickly opened his eyes, desperate to see his surroundings clearly.
The scorching sunlight hurt his eyes, and in an instant, tears streamed, blurring and distorting the world.
Currently, he was sitting in a bus.
On his left was a window, on his right sat a girl he hadn't seen in a long time but whose memory was vivid.
The boy sitting across the aisle struggled to find a topic: "Chen Nuanhan, we're from the same college, it seems we'll have quite a few shared classes..."
Gou King Wu Tianyou, sitting in the row in front, turned around with an unkind expression and started taunting, "Focus on your studies, don't think too much. You don't even have enough living expenses, yet you still have the idle mind to chase girls? If you can't afford the real deal, wear Anta. Those counterfeit Jordans on your feet, don't they rub your heels raw?"
The guy's face went green all of a sudden, quivering with anger, unable to retort.
Tsk, Gou King's lethality remains unchanged...
Chen Nuanhan, Wu Tianyou, school, bus.
There's only one point in time that matches all these conditions—the 1st of September 2016, the day when freshmen reported to college.
Goodness, it's been a long time since I dreamt of this scene.
But why does this dream feel so real this time?
Su Huai, still half-dazed, blankly looked at Chen Nuanhan's profile.
The black lustrous hair was tucked behind her ear, her eyelashes long and dense, fluttering like a little fan.
Girls in later generations loved to get eyelash extensions, but even the top beauty salons couldn't match her natural beauty.
Following the line of her lashes upward, her forehead was full, brow arches slightly raised, skin clear as jade.
Beauty lies in the bones, not in the skin, key areas being the brow ridges, cheekbones, and jawline.
She scored full marks in each category.
The youthful aesthetic trending in later times favored flatness and brevity, the real reason being that cosmetic surgery can only remove bones, a subtractive process that couldn't achieve true skeletal beauty.
But Chen Nuanhan was blessed with pure, natural beauty.
Her nasal bridge started high, straight and long, and with her sharply defined chin line, it gave her profile a very three-dimensional look.
Of course, her face from the front was equally so.
More than one person had said, "Nuannuan, you look like you're mixed."
And it was the kind of Eastern gem among the mixed, like a young Maggie Q, Li Jiaxin.
If she was in a good mood, she would smile and nod: "I indeed have a quarter Xiongguo blood, my grandmother is from Xiongguo."
If she wasn't in a good mood, she would shake her head indifferently, not responding.
This made her seem as unattainable as a flower on a high cliff, always distant, but the more she was like this, the more she enchanted the male students from her alma mater, seeing her as the eternal bright moon in their hearts.
'Nuannuan has a light within Nuanhan,' even her name sounded like a bright moon.
Years later at a high school reunion, she rarely attended, yet her current situation was always the focal point of conversation at the table, with those in the know happily bringing it up, and the rest of the men listened with great interest.
At such moments, the female classmates would laugh and scold: "Back then, each of you was as timid as a dog, and now you start boasting? Be a man and get her into bed, then I'll respect you!"
The king of dirty jokes Liu Miaomiao, who had two kids, laughed and delivered a fatal blow: "Among the guys in our class, not one would last half a month in her bed. I'm all too familiar with their prowess—they all **** on me, let alone the Warm Sister now, her figure is so dominant..."
"Nonsense! When have I not lasted a minute?"
Some laughed, some got heated, but the atmosphere was always lively.
After hearing it once, Su Huai felt uncomfortable all over, so he never attended a second reunion.
Yes, that's right, Su Huai had also been secretly in love with Chen Nuanhan.
To be more precise, Su Huai had once eagerly licked her boots.
For instance, when filling out college applications after the national college entrance exams, he chose Capital Normal University in all available options and applied for the same major as her, for reasons that those who understand, understand.
Another example, when riding the bus to report for college, he eagerly sat by the window, afraid that the sunshine would harm her delicate skin.
But like all naive young boys' first crushes, Su Huai's life as a bootlicker wasn't very pleasant.
Chen Nuanhan was a woman of extreme emotional polarity. When she was in a good mood, she would joke around like a buddy with Su Huai, embodying the openness and generosity of Northeast women and the gentle amiability of Southern girls, making Su Huai believe he was her confidant, even her most important friend.
It seemed like with just a little more effort, he could hold her in his arms.
But when she was in a bad mood, she became as cold as ice towards Su Huai, not answering calls, ignoring WeChat messages, and in extreme cases, saying hurtful things.
Su Huai had no idea how she had developed this personality, but he suffered greatly for it.
She kept Su Huai like a fish in a pond, not for money.
Throughout his university life, she might have spent a couple of thousand yuan from Su Huai, and she had also given him gifts worth more than ten thousand yuan. She was not milking him dry.
And she always set clear boundaries: "We can't be, I only see you as a good friend, please don't waste your time on me."
But for the young Su Huai, her hot-and-cold, near-and-far attitude was like irresistible poison, constantly tugging at his heartstrings, pulling him into a vortex.
There's nothing shameful in admitting it – which boy hasn't been smitten with a pretty girl in his youth?
Once hormones kicked in, it didn't matter who it was – lick first, ask questions later!
Unfortunately, Su Huai's rank was too low; he wasn't handsome enough, and his family wasn't wealthy. Working part-time jobs diligently, he thought he could build a home for her with his own hard work...
But that was just what he thought.
In reality, Chen Nuanhan ended up entangled with a rich guy for over two years. Neither could tame the other; in the end, they parted ways without anyone losing out, except for Su Huai, who fell into the trap and couldn't let go even in his early thirties.
When 35-year-old Su Huai thought back on this, he felt one thing – fuck, this is bullshit!
If you blame her, most of the fault is yours.
If you don't blame her, yet she repeatedly rekindled the disheartened young boy's spirit when it waned.
Fuck, pulling Su Huai over to accompany her whenever she was lonely, needy, or cold; refusing to go, she would act coy and stubborn. With her 95-point beauty score, which young boy could stand against that?
Later, Su Huai took a hard look at himself and finally identified the problem – the real reason was that he was too safe a choice.
Too respectful of her, he took love too seriously. Even if she passed out in his arms, he wouldn't make a move – who else would she count on besides him?
If only he had been a bit bolder back then, she wouldn't have kept pulling him along, or he could have seized any opportunity to turn the uncooked rice into a cooked meal.
In the end, he got nothing out of it, only attracting trouble – his college classmates even turned him into a joke. Isn't this the mark of a huge, innocent sucker?
Putting 'warm man' behind 'Gou King,' Su Huai exemplified this firsthand.
Once he entered society, Su Huai never licked up to any woman again, no matter how much he liked them. He kept his feelings to himself: what was out of reach, he didn't reach for; what he could get, he enjoyed without involving his heart.
Love?
Dogs might engage in that, but he wouldn't waste the energy!
Now, seeing Chen Nuanhan again, and specifically her pure, prime girl version, Su Huai suddenly wanted to reclaim some interest.
He had good reason to suspect he was dreaming, so he brazenly reached out and pinched Chen Nuanhan's earlobe.
Uh-huh, very smooth, very supple, the feel was springy.
Having pinched, he rubbed it a bit, gently gripping, softly twisting, spreading and kneading...
Fuck me – so this is what pinching her earlobe feels like... damn, that's awesome?!
The next moment, her snowy white neck flushed red, the color spreading to her earlobes. Her thin, transparent skin made that tiny earlobe look like the highest quality of red jade – sparkling, clear, and lustrous.
Uh, I really want to bite it and taste the flavor...
The moment after that, she slapped Su Huai's "dog paw" away and pinched a soft spot on the inside of Su Huai's arm, twisting hard.
Fuck, it hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts!
Unshed tears in Su Huai's eyes flowed out in an instant – the pain sobered him and Chen Nuanhan's angry question left him blank once more.
"Su Huai! Have you gone mad? How dare you molest me?!"
Fuck!
It's not a dream?!
I actually fucking reborn?!
"Hey hey? Kid, what are you doing? Why are you not saying anything?"
His mother's anxious voice came through the phone, clearly without the fatigue and persistent cough of the future.
In Su Huai's 28th year, his mother developed chronic pneumonia from overwork, saving money to buy him a house. Since then, she had never been well, constantly coughing between sentences.
Listening to the healthful concern and care in his mother's unchanged voice, Su Huai's emotions suddenly collapsed.
"I'm... fine... just got to school, it's chaotic and busy, let's talk later!"
He hastily hung up the phone, covered his face with his hands, pressed his head into the crevice between the window and the seat in front of him, and cried silently, tears flowing without sound, sobbing until he was out of breath.
Why cry?
Su Huai couldn't explain it himself – he just couldn't hold it in any longer.
An adult's survival in society means those with power can trouble others, and those without power trouble themselves; some live like people, others live like dogs.
Su Huai was worse than a dog.
He couldn't escape being overworked, good fortune was always out of reach, entering society with gusto, yet by thirty, he was isolated from four aspects.
His career and love life don't need mentioning – both were out of sight.
Freedom and respect were even more luxurious. He dared not even dream about them, only able to liberate himself from pressure and find fleeting joy while scrolling through Douyin and reading novels.
Back then, he couldn't cry even if he wanted to. Everyone was suffering their own hardships, and he couldn't let his spirit flag, or else everything would collapse.
But now, it was different.
I've fucking restarted!
All the frustration, rage, regret, and bitterness spilled out uncontrolled, with every tear shedding a load of pressure, making him feel lighter and more relieved with each cry.
A surging joy washed over him, cleansing Su Huai's weary soul.
Come on!
All of you fuckers watch closely, see who's the boss now!
Whether Chen Nuanhan knew who the boss was or not, at this moment, she was utterly dumbfounded.
She looked at her pinching fingertips, then at Su Huai sobbing with his head down, exploding with emotions and falling apart with nonsensical thoughts, her cheeks burning red with confusion and panic.
Dude, stop crying. If there's a problem, let's talk it out. I'll apologize if I have to, my bad, okay?!