Chereads / Bringing some shocking pranks to the Cultivation World / Chapter 18 - Chapter 11: So Can Eunuchs Urinate Standing Up?

Chapter 18 - Chapter 11: So Can Eunuchs Urinate Standing Up?

Let's not talk about the battle that was in full swing between Xu Ziyi and Hou Jue. At this moment, Zhou Li and Tang Wan were advancing on two routes, one by water and the other through the air, and they had already reached behind the Thirteen Taibao.

The Thirteen Taibao, or the thirteen Horse Bandits, were not concerned with the battle behind them involving Xu Ziyi and Hou Jue. Instead, they were holding stones with tense expressions, constantly moving around, looking up and down as if searching for something.

According to Zhou Li's analysis, the Pool of Rebirth must be hidden within some sort of "hidden realm," that is, a small world within our own. These small worlds were often created by immortals, so to open the hidden realm, certain conditions must be met.

Otherwise, considering that Spirit Vulture Mountain is frequented by bored poets looking for inspiration, if there really were a Pool of Rebirth that could "heal the dead and mend bones," it would have been discovered long ago.

Therefore, there was a high probability that these thirteen stones were the key to opening the hidden realm. It's just that the method to open it was likely in the possession of Xu Ziyi and his company, which was why Zhou Li and the others had not startled the snake in the grass, merely waiting for them to open the hidden realm. However, the sudden appearance of Hou Jue disrupted the two's plan.

But Hou Jue's appearance also had its advantages, after all, Zhou Li and Tang Wan's biggest worry was Xu Ziyi, the gun master from the Fourth Realm. Now that Xu Ziyi was entangled with Hou Jue, the two just needed to wait for the hidden realm to be opened, swiftly deal with the Thirteen Taibao, grab the spring water and leave. This greatly reduced their risk.

While Zhou Li and Tang Wan were lying in ambush on either side, the thirteen individuals also found their respective positions. Accompanied by the slow landing of the strangely shaped stones, the evening twilight also happened to shine upon the peak of Spirit Vulture Mountain. When the last rays of the setting sun fell upon the smooth surfaces of the thirteen oddly shaped stones, the light that refracted created a pattern atop the mountain.

?

Zhou Li and Tang Wan, standing beside him, looked at each other, both a bit stunned for a moment. But soon, Zhou Li saw this as a good opportunity to reveal the truth about the Gender-Change Spring to Tang Wan.

The other party was from Central Shichuan's Tang Sect and wouldn't know too much about these things from The West. As long as Zhou Li told Tang Wan that this symbol was a sign of femininity in Western cultures, Tang Wan would realize that this spring was definitely not the Pool of Rebirth she was searching for.

Just when Zhou Li was overjoyed and about to speak, Tang Wan suddenly brightened her eyes, exclaiming with delight, "This is the Pool of Rebirth!"

Ah?

Zhou Li was taken aback and before he could speak, Tang Wan continued, "Look, there is a circle at the top, symbolizing reincarnation and rebirth, and there is a cross at the bottom, ten symbolizes completion, hence the cycle of rebirth can bring a perfect body. This symbol must represent the Pool of Rebirth!"

You're trying to fit the answer to the question!

Zhou Li's expression turned somewhat ferocious, not knowing how to burst Tang Wan's bubble of fantasy. But after thinking it over, he felt that the best course of action was still to follow the original plan, which was to pick a lucky one to push into the water in front of Tang Wan, transforming a bandit into a woman and thus dispelling her thoughts.

As Zhou Li made up his mind, the glow emanating from the thirteen stones also slowly solidified, eventually converging above the cliff. Accompanied by a flash of light as blazing as the midday sun, a massive bronze gate slowly emerged from the top of the cliff.

"The hidden realm is open, brothers, we shall not leave the spring behind!"

The instant he saw the gate open, Xu Ziyi gritted his teeth, his Qi surged throughout his body, his left hand wielding a long spear and his right hand a short spear, swerving and thrusting like a torrential rain of pear blossoms. Hou Jue, with a wound on his back, struggled to fend off the attacks, and amidst the storm of strokes, received several spear-inflicted wounds, each leaving behind a trail of blood.

We can't wait any longer.

Hou Jue knew that Xu Ziyi intended to enter the hidden realm, and if he succeeded, Hou Jue's efforts would have been in vain. Thinking this, Hou Jue bit down on his resolution, propping his long stick on his left arm, and with a swift gesture at his waist, a short blade suddenly shot out with a sonorous metallic buzz. It aimed directly at Xu Ziyi's side from an extremely tricky angle.

Ding!

As a spear master, Xu Ziyi's reflexes were far beyond those of ordinary people; therefore, at the very moment the blade was drawn, his spirit spear dramatically dropped and thrusted forward, precisely blocking the short blade in front of his waist.

The short blade, being a simple weapon and not a spirit weapon, fell straight down after the clash of arms. Xu Ziyi, seizing the moment Hou Jue was off-balance from the thrown blade, aimed his spear for a fatal strike.

Then, misfortune struck.

Frankly, the act of throwing the blade was an act of desperation on Hou Jue's part; it was a strike borne of irritation at being checked by the spirit spear, a blow pinned on a miracle. Thus, after throwing the knife, Hou Jue no longer paid attention to its flight.

But as fate would have it, there were many stones on the mountain, and Xu Ziyi's tall steed just happened to step on one during that exchange. Normally, Xu Ziyi's war horse, constantly nourished by Spirit Qi, could easily crush a stone beneath its hooves.

But just this one time, there was a protrusion on the stone that perfectly wedged itself into the gap of the horseshoe. Worse luck still, the thrown short blade, with its edge facing downward, chopped into the hoof of the horse trying to grind the stone away.

yu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With a painful neigh, the tall horse went berserk, bucking wildly, and Hou Jue, far from being kind-hearted, had no qualms about beating a downed enemy. With no hesitation, he bellowed a thunderous shout and swept his long stick, breaking both of the horse's legs with brute force.

"Thieving scum, I'll take your life!!!"

Xu Ziyi, realizing something was amiss, leapt up with a push on the stirrup and soared mid-air, rage-filled eyes staring at the kneeling horse below. However, soon he wouldn't be mourning his beloved horse, for in mid-air with nowhere to exert force, he saw Hou Jue's ferocious smile as he raised his long stick.

I fucking curse you!

Everyone's seen baseball, right.

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Swinging a baseball bat and sending the white ball flying, the trajectory represents the curves of youth and struggle. Then, let's change some of the elements, like replacing the ball with an egg.

Crack.

Upon hearing the sound behind him, Zhou Li, who was about to dash out the door, instantly felt a tightness in his groin. He turned back and saw the "individual" and the stick arranged in a "human" word, immediately feeling a chill strike his heart.

Damn, this eunuch really is vicious, not having it himself and not letting others have it either.

Accompanied by a soul-deep, agonizing scream, Zhou Li and Tang Wan exchanged glances, both seeing the lingering horror in each other's eyes. Without further words, they burst out from both sides.

One of them, petite in stature, held a hidden weapon that danced up and down easily, reaping the lives of those unguarded horse bandits. The other flipped over and descended from above their heads, dressed in horse bandit garments with a beaming smile, slapping lime mixed with poison powder on everyone's face, and sending heads spinning and bleeding with a turn and a toss of the right hand.

In just a moment, these horse bandits, who had firsthand witnessed their second boss getting thrashed in an egg-smashing scene, screamed miserably—some had their chests burst open with blood flowers from hidden weapons in an instant kill, while others, their faces full of lime and oil, had their foreheads smeared with blood and flesh. All thirteen horse bandits didn't even get a chance to resonate with their battle horses; they all fell next to their beloved steeds.

Of course, you can't say that these horse-loving bandits were dealt with by the two due to a lack of ability, mainly because they had just witnessed their boss's pitiful scene and their minds were in turmoil and blank.

Moreover, most importantly, these horse bandits never expected that these renowned jianghu individuals would throw lime and poison powder and resort to dirty moves such as eye-gouging and groin-kicking. In an instant, the gathered thirteen people couldn't react at all, getting their faces smeared with all sorts of messes and naturally losing their ability to resist.

Zhou Li looked at these horse-loving bandits with sympathy, then without hesitation leaped forward with Tang Wan, directly into the bronze gate.

Biyun Heaven, Maple Leaf Forest, and the clear spring water.

And a stone stele inscribed with foreign text.

Looking at the small world before them, Zhou Li took a deep breath, marveled at how the air in this small world was indeed sweeter than the outside, and then joined Tang Wan by the fervently desired spring water. It was at this moment that Zhou Li suddenly remembered something.

Damn, I killed all thirteen Taibao just now; there's no test subject left.

Zhou Li instantly felt annoyed—he was distracted when Xu Ziyi screamed so loudly just before that he forgot to leave a live one for Tang Wan to showcase the real effect of the spring water. But now it was too late to go back and see if there was a survivor; as Zhou Li was about to speak, he noticed the foreign lettering on the sign by the spring water.

[To the friends who come after]

[My name is Ollie Anfu, a missionary from the West, you can call me Bishop Ollie. I came to the East to spread the faith of the Witch Church, but unfortunately, the East does not fancy our "both genders are possible" philosophy and does not welcome the Witch Church.]

[Because I have switched genders too many times, my appearance no longer matches the facial description on my travel permit from years past, and I can't return to my homeland for the time being, nor can I live normally on Eastern land. During an adventure, I met a kind-hearted Eastern immortal who created this unique space for me, providing me a place to settle.]

[I don't blame anyone, as these trials were destined for me. Spreading the Witch Church's gospel has never been easy, and I've rarely been welcomed by others. Of course, I still believe that there should be no distinction between genders, that people are born equal. So I have left this feature, the Gender-Change Spring, behind.]

[If you have been living as a man or woman for too long, and you feel weary or unwanted, then drink this spring water. The total amount of spring water is enough for eight people to transition. After drinking the spring water, your gender will change, and so will your appearance. However, if you regret it and want to revert to your original form, you will need to go to my homeland, Orisia, to find another spring, because one spring can't work twice on the same person— please be cautious.]

[Lastly, I wish you a healthy life after transitioning and ask you not to expect special privileges after changing your gender. Because the equality that the Witch Church believes in is absolute, including the right to pee standing up.]

Reading the simultaneously comical and slightly pitiful "last words," Zhou Li didn't know where to begin his critique. After a long sigh, he was about to explain the text to Tang Wan, who was beside him, when he saw Tang Wan, looking thrilled, pull out a jade flask.

"Hold on."

"Hold on!"

"Hold on!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The first call was Zhou Li's; he spoke calmly, intending to use the content on the stele to dissuade Tang Wan.

The second was Hou Jue's, holding a club with suspicious fresh blood, chasing Xu Ziyi, who ran with his legs clamped together, determined to not give up until his goal was reached.

The third, with a piercing and painful scream, was Xu Ziyi's.

Xu Ziyi then unleashed an unprecedented terrifying speed, sticking out his tongue and flailing his hands, not caring in the least about dignity, running wildly toward the "Pool of Rebirth" like a dog with an anal prolapse. All he thought of was one thing: to drink from the Pool of Rebirth and bring little Xu back into his body.

He passed the dumbfounded Tang Wan, passed the stone stele which he couldn't understand, and plunged straight into the pool of clear water. At this moment, Zhou Li suddenly thought that if Xu Ziyi demonstrated the effect of the Gender-Change Spring, he wouldn't have to translate the foreign text for Tang Wan, as actions speak louder than words, after all.

So, faced with Xu Ziyi lunging like a mad dog toward the spring water, Zhou Li stylishly turned around, stretched out his hand, and pressed down on the latter's head with force.

Directly submerging Xu Ziyi's head into the clear spring water.

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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