The late evening sky was saturated with streaks of deep purple and blue as Dae-jung's car pulled into the driveway. He had been driving around aimlessly for what seemed like hours after having dropped Ananya at her home. The laughter that had filled the ride back to hers, echoing from the carefree moments spent together, had now faded into an unsettling silence. He looked at his phone, the barrage of notifications all from one person – Ji-yeon.
Dae-jung heaved a sigh, looking at himself in the rear view mirror. For a brief moment earlier that day, he had almost forgotten the weight that settled over him during this time each year. It was a day that he had dreaded for years now, the shadow it cast reaching farther back than he cared to admit. He was in no mood to entertain Ji-yeon, definitely not that day.
He stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible, but the jingle of his keys announced his arrival. Not that it mattered, as he had been living by himself for half a decade now, having moved out of his father's residence the day he brought home a 'replacement' for his mother. However, a familiar scent hit him as soon as he crossed the foyer, quite overwhelmingly so. His brows furrowed as he walked further in, turning on the lights of the hallway.
Before he could take another breath, a bright, "Surprise!" rang out, and there she stood. With her dark hair tied into a messy bun and eyes that seemed to sparkle at his mere presence, Ji-yeon held up a cake decorated with simple white frosting and crooked '2' and '4' candles. The sight of her, smiling yet strained, had definitely caught him off guard.
"Happy birthday Dae!" She crooned, her voice bright but determined, as though pushing through an invisible barrier.
Dae-jung's breath hitched. He had not expected this, certainly not from Ji-yeon, who had known him long enough to understand how much he despised this day. The gesture felt wrong, out of place, leaving him conflicted.
"Thanks, Ji-yeon," he bit his lip, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. The warmth that he had shown Ananya earlier that day was absent now, replaced with a more guarded tone as he added, "You didn't have to do this."
"I wanted to." Her eyes lingered on his face, catching on every flicker of emotion displayed. "It's your birthday, after all. I couldn't just... let it pass."
His silence said more than words ever could. The room seemed to grow smaller, the air heavier. It did not feel like a celebration, that's for sure. Ji-yeon placed the cake on the table, her gaze catching the subtle shift in his demeanour, the way his eyes avoided hers.
"I've been trying to reach you all day," she broke the silence, attempting to sound lighter but failing to hide the edge in her tone. "Where have you been?"
"Ah, yeah. Sorry, I've been... busy," he said, an unnatural pause punctuating his excuse. He set his keys on the table, avoiding her scrutinising eyes. Ananya had asked him to not mention to Ji-yeon that they had been hanging out, and there was no other way to explain the hours spent showing his vulnerability, laughing candidly, and almost forgetting, for a brief moment, that there was a whole world beyond that.
"Busy with things… or people?" Ji-yeon let out an airy chuckle. Her laughter had always been full-bodied, wrapping people up in warmth. But now, it seemed hollow, the pointedness in her voice barely masking what simmered beneath.
Dae-jung didn't flinch, but a frown crossed his face. "It's nothing like that. Can we not do this now?" He muttered, turning away. His voice was gentle as ever, but devoid of warmth, lacking the conviction she sought. The sincerity that flowed into his conversations with Ananya did not come as easily for Ji-yeon.
She scoffed, a sharp sound that cut through the tense air like a blade. "Not do what, talk? You're right, that's too much to ask lately, isn't it?"
He leaned against the kitchen counter, tapping his fingers against the cool marble as he tried to frame his next words, "Let's not make a big deal out of this." He turned towards her, his tone a little softer as he added, "You're here for my birthday, aren't you?" The look he gave her was brief, a flicker of impatience barely noticeable, but enough for someone who knew him well.
"I guess." She mumbled, a slight tremor betraying her forced composure. The weight of the day pressed down on her – a culmination of missed calls, unanswered messages, and that gnawing sense of having become an afterthought now.
She turned away, not trusting herself to meet his eyes. A fleeting thought crossed her mind: was she really overthinking it all? Maybe she was wrong, maybe the distance that she felt within was imagined, twisted into something more by her insecurities? The silence in the room was louder than any argument they could have possibly had, anyway.
"Let's light the candles," she finally said, forcing brightness into her voice, "Where's your lighter?"
"Probably in the car," he replied, eyes not meeting hers. "I'll go get it."
But she was faster, reaching for his keys on the counter. "No, I'll do that. You sit here and practise your best smile for the pictures till then."
The cool night air outside did little to ease the flames in her heart. Ji-yeon walked over to Dae-jung's car, fingers brushing over the worn leather of his car keys as she fumbled with the door. The lighter was right there in the little compartment next to the gear – the same lighter that she had gifted him 3 years ago when he had a weird smoker phase.
The fact that the lighter was still right there even though he stopped smoking long back brought a little smile to her face, the mere thought of him still cherishing it gave her an odd reassurance. However, the lighter wasn't the only thing her gaze had landed on.
Amid the jumble of items that met her eyes – old crumpled receipts, loose change, chewing gums – a polaroid strip peeked out, its glossy surface reflecting light, making it impossible for her to see its contents from there.
She pulled it out, her chest tightening when she saw two familiar figures grinning widely, eyes crinkled with joy – Ananya and Dae-jung leaning close, too close. He had the same shirt on, the photo must be from the same day. And the laughter looked genuine, carefree in a way she hadn't seen him in a while.
The surroundings seemed to go hazy for a moment, an annoying low buzz filling her ears, the sting of betrayal sudden and significant. Her hands trembled as she shoved the picture back in, her breath coming in short, controlled bursts, heart thudding with a rhythm that echoed like a warning. But she could not bring it up now. Not when she had worked so hard to carve this moment out for them, whatever little window of time she had gotten with him, just him. She forced herself to look up, the lighter now a cold, dead weight in her palm.
Back inside, Dae-jung heaved yet another sigh, his chest aching not from guilt but from the sheer exhaustion of these conversations, and this 'celebration'. Pretending to care about this day was harder than he had imagined, even for Ji-yeon's sake. Maybe if it was Ananya instead…
"Found it," Ji-yeon's declaration broke his chain of thoughts and he simply nodded in response, watching her light the candles then turn the lights off, her expression composed but her eyes clearly brimming with something else. "Make a wish," she continued, voice soft but lacking its usual cadence.
Dae-jung leaned in, shutting his eyes for a brief second. No wishes were made, the eyes merely closed as an obligation. The room fell into darkness the moment he blew out the candles, a tense silence wrapping around them like an unwelcome guest. When the light finally reclaimed the space, he met her gaze for the first time in what felt like forever, a hint of something unreadable in her eyes – brief, distant. The cake simply laid there uncut, uneaten.
"You know," she finally broke the silence, voice almost conversational, "I should really stop doing charity work now." His brows furrowed, the shift in her tone catching him off guard. "Hmm? What are you talking about?"
"Oh, you know it pretty well too." Her eyes darkened, but she forced a laugh, the sound hollow as she continued, "Always being the one to reach out, to help, to... take in strays." The last few words hung between them like a challenge, and the implication was clear.
He clenched his jaw tight, but chose not to respond, reluctant to drag this on any further. Instead, he kept fidgeting with his car keys, avoiding looking at her, the girl he had known and adored since middle school, now a stranger standing across the room.
"Ji-yeon, enough. Let's just forget about this and go get some ramen, like old times." The offer was meant to break the tension, to take them back to simpler childhood days when their friendship wasn't weighed down by the unspoken.
"Like old times, indeed." She repeated, the words tasting bitter on her tongue. Her smile was tight, controlled, as she put her hoodie back on, "Let's go before I change my mind."
They left the apartment, the city lights casting long shadows as they walked. The night was cold, and the distance between them felt vast, filled with unstated words and avoided glances. Ji-yeon looked sideways, eyes tracing his profile, searching for the boy she knew, the one who looked at her like she was the centre of his world. But now, even though they were quiet, it wasn't peaceful – in fact, it felt like the calm before a storm.
As they walked under the dim streetlights, side by side but miles apart, Ji-yeon made a silent promise to herself. She was no longer going to just wait, wish, or hope. The quiet envy that had simmered beneath her skin began to solidify into something colder, more concrete.
Whatever it took, whatever lines she had to cross – she wasn't going to lose him to someone else. Definitely not that one rando she had taken pity on and inadvertently brought in between them.