How long had the silence lasted?
It was none other than Jang Ilso who stepped back first.
With a sigh, Jang Ilso sat back down and waved his hand.
"Let's stop, Gamyeong. I don't know if this is something we should be snarling at each other over."
Ho Gakmyung silently stared at Jang Ilso.
"You're right. I did lose my composure a bit, and I did let my impatience get the best of me. But it's not like I haven't thought about it."
The fatigue on Jang Ilso's face was evident.
"The best way to increase our chances is not to cling to impossible things. Rather, it's to crush them underfoot as soon as possible."
"..."
"So don't talk as if I've given up."
"...Do you really mean that?"
"Do you think otherwise?"
Jang Ilso countered, looking straight at Ho Gakmyung with crescent moon-shaped eyes.
Ho Gakmyung closed his eyes.
His attitude was soft. He had certainly regained some of his lost composure.
But Jang Ilso's words were nothing more than a polite refusal, no more and no less. Ho Gakmyung knew this well, and the sense of uselessness was hard to suppress.
"...If the Ryeonju wishes so, I will, of course, follow that will."
Ho Gakmyung slowly spoke again after a moment of silence.
"But, Ryeonju-nim, may I ask you one more thing?"
Jang Ilso paused.
Usually, he would have said, 'You don't have to ask. Ask anytime.' But now, the words didn't come easily. Even though it was something he often said.
"Do you accept it?"
Jang Ilso couldn't answer that question.
To someone else, it might seem like a vague question. Perhaps even one to laugh off.
But Jang Ilso remained silent as if the question had hit a nerve.
"...The reason I asked if you were happy was not for any other reason. It was our... no, Ryeonju-nim's initial goal, and I believed it was the path you wanted to take."
Ho Gakmyung's voice became increasingly calm and composed.
"Ryeonju-nim. Do you remember Wang Sa?"
"...Yes, I remember."
"Even after avenging him thanks to your grace, I always thought about him. I could never understand it. Why would someone who had everything and lacked time to enjoy it crush a lowly family like ours and bring enmity upon himself? Why did someone who was once so great do such a foolish thing?"
"..."
"I couldn't understand it at the time, but eventually, I came to understand."
"Did you understand?"
"Yes."
"Him?"
Ho Gakmyung nodded silently. A brief curiosity crossed Jang Ilso's face.
"Then, what did you find out? Why did that pig crush your family? Do you think there was any reason other than greed?"
"...There wasn't."
"Hmm?"
Ho Gakmyung exhaled and shook his head.
"There was no reason from the beginning. No, there wasn't a need for one."
Jang Ilso's expression hardened slightly.
"At some point, wealth for him was no longer a means to achieve something, but the end itself. Even if it rotted in his grasp till his dying breath, he had to gather and hoard it by any means."
"..."
"So it didn't matter. Whoever it was, if there was wealth, he would kill and take it. Just... yes, that's all there was to it."
Jang Ilso, who had been staring at Ho Gakmyung for a long time, finally spoke.
"Are you saying..."
He stopped, but after a moment, he forced the words out of his mouth.
"...I am like that pig?"
The night breeze, creeping through the cracks, flowed coldly between the two. Ho Gakmyung rubbed his chilled fingertips together and exhaled briefly.
"I didn't mean that. I'm just curious."
"About what?"
"What you meant when you said you would put Kangho beneath your feet before everything becomes meaningless. Does it mean there is something you must achieve that way, or does having Kangho in your grasp itself mean something to you, even if it seems meaningless?"
"..."
"Yes. That's all it was. Just..."
After a moment of silence, Ho Gakmyung bowed deeply.
"I'll take my leave."
"..."
"Please get some rest. Even martial artists have limits to their stamina."
Ho Gakmyung turned and headed for the door. At that moment, Jang Ilso called out to him.
"Gamyeong."
Ho Gakmyung stopped. Unlike usual, he didn't turn his body. Jang Ilso, staring at his back, slowly forced out the words.
"If that's the case, what will you do?"
--
"..."
"If I too am just a moth drawn to the flame called Kangho, if I am a foolish person approaching a meaningless fire and burning myself... What would you do? Would you criticize me and point fingers? Or would you spit on me and turn away, saying I've changed?"
As soon as the words ended, Ho Gakmyung turned around. He then calmly looked at Jang Ilso with his usual composed eyes. Seeing the deep shadows cast on his unadorned face, Ho Gakmyung spoke.
"That day."
"..."
"Since the day Ryeonju-nim fulfilled my insignificant wish, I have never imagined leaving Ryeonju-nim."
"..."
"If there comes a day when Ryeonju-nim is abandoned by everything in the world and struggles in the most dreadful place... I will undoubtedly be the last one by your side."
It was a sufficient answer. However, Ho Gakmyung felt the need to add one more word.
"Because I decided so from the beginning."
"..."
"Rest well."
After deeply bowing, Ho Gakmyung turned and left the room.
Tak.
Jang Ilso, staring blankly at the door Ho Gakmyung had closed, reflexively reached for a bottle of alcohol.
But only the shattered remnants and the damp table soaked with liquor touched his fingertips.
"Ha ha."
A self-deprecating laugh slipped through his parched lips.
"Ha..."
But even that laugh couldn't continue. He grasped the broken bottle and the spilled liquor. Sharp porcelain shards dug into his hand, mixing thick blood with the transparent liquor.
As if unaware of the pain, Jang Ilso slowly turned his gaze to the side.
His face faintly reflected in the mirror. The face that was once always adorned with extravagant makeup and decorations was nowhere to be seen. Only the image of a person who seemed like he could break at any moment was visible.
Cracked lips, deep shadows under his eyes, and a neurotic expression.
Eventually, he threw the piece of broken bottle at the mirror. With a clattering sound, the mirror, propped against the lantern, fell to the floor.
"Ha ha. I look a mess..."
Is that really so wrong?
Even when he met Ho Gakmyung in the past, Jang Ilso was not satisfied with his life back then. He wanted to grasp bigger, more things with his fingers.
What is so different about Jang Ilso now compared to then?
Is living as a moth really so bad?
Even if both wings get burnt and he falls into the blazing fire, isn't it much better than living as a pig trying to avoid the flames and eating filth?
He believed so. At least he believed so.
But to survive, he has to join forces with those people?
Jang Ilso covered his mouth. The thought alone made him feel nauseous. Just imagining standing back-to-back with those people made his insides twist.
He knew in his head that it could also be a way. But his body rejected it. No, perhaps his very soul was rejecting it.
Uncontrollable hostility and anger.
He had ravaged Shaolin. He had erased countless people who flaunted their righteous status with his own hands, but this burning, grudge-like hostility wouldn't easily cool down.
On the contrary, the more he faced those people, the more it seemed to burn even more fiercely.
"Ha ha... Ha ha ha. Gakmyung, Gakmyung."
Ho Gakmyung's words are correct. But they are wrong.
Surviving by any means is Jang Ilso's way. Discarding everything that can be discarded to win by any means is Jang Ilso's way.
But what meaning does that 'survival,' that 'victory' have if it is not achieved by Jang Ilso as Jang Ilso?
The moment he stands in the same place as those people to survive, Jang Ilso will become no different from those he despises the most. How could Ho Gakmyung not understand that?
"Gakmyung..."
Laughing, Jang Ilso slowly slumped into his chair. With his head tilted back, he gazed at the ceiling, his eyes filled with deep emptiness.
"Why..."
His eyes slowly closed. The image of Ho Gakmyung's eyes from a moment ago floated in his mind like a brand.
Faint disappointment, a subtle distrust, and a gradually heating anger.
The small emotions mixed and boiled in those eyes, making Jang Ilso feel as if his body was as heavy as water-soaked cotton.
It felt strangely familiar.
Even though it couldn't be, it felt like he had seen those eyes somewhere before, making Jang Ilso's fingertips tremble.
'Gakmyung...'
Nothing has changed. He hasn't changed at all.
If there is something he must obtain, he will definitely get it. He will never foolishly let go of what he can get now for an uncertain future.
A small lamp flickered weakly beside Jang Ilso, who was breathing softly.
"Commander."
Ho Gakmyung swiftly brushed past the greeting people, causing a chilly breeze to rise.
The expressions of those who had greeted him changed slightly, but such things didn't even register in Ho Gakmyung's eyes.
'Ryeonju-nim.'
Ho Gakmyung unconsciously bit his lips.
Ha ha ha ha. Your expression is priceless. No need to look so sad. Dying like this has its own charm, doesn't it?
It was something Jang Ilso had once said during a past crisis.
The Jang Ilso he knew was always overflowing with leisure. Even when his neck was about to be cut, he laughed, and when Ho Gakmyung thought there was no more way out, he never let go of the last possibility.
And... and he was someone who would never change.
But if Ho Gakmyung now sees a different Jang Ilso, what went wrong? Where did it go wrong?
Is the future Jang Ilso faces so harsh? So much that Jang Ilso cannot maintain himself?
No. That cannot be.
Even if the sky were to fall, Jang Ilso would laugh heartily. He is not someone who would crumble even in the depths of despair.
Then why?
"Why..."
Ho Gakmyung eventually muttered to himself as if groaning.
Nothing has changed.
Even if Jang Ilso does something incomprehensible, Ho Gakmyung will devote himself to assisting him. Even if it costs him his life.
There is not a single lie in this statement.
If Jang Ilso falls into hell, the one who will be by his side will still be Ho Gakmyung.
But Ho Gakmyung hopes that Jang Ilso can smile even in that hell. Rather than being sad in heaven, he hopes he can laugh in hell. That was the way of the Jang Ilso he knew.
Gnashing his teeth, Ho Gakmyung's eyes hardened.
Now he could understand. He understood clearly.
"It is different. No, it was different."
Even if they look at the same place, what Ho Gakmyung wants to achieve and what Jang Ilso wants to achieve are different.
If so...
Wiping the blood from his lips with his thumb, Ho Gakmyung quickly headed to his office. Before the cold wind covered the rising sun.