-42-The axe cut through the log and stopped on the stump. And as the logs fell to the ground, so did Mark as he dropped the axe and sprawled on the ground.He stared at the cloudy blue sky with his head on the ground. His chest heaved as he breathed, he heard his heart beating in his chest.He wiped the sweat on his brows with his sleeve, while his other hand rested on his chest."Did one more, today…"His nightmares still plagued him, his hands still shook and his heartbeat still quickened, but compared to the first day when his feet struggled to walk to the stump, or even lift the axe to cut the log, it was more progress than he ever dreamed.Now he could rest the logs on the stump, barely, and swing the axe down without Miriel's help.Mark grit his teeth, he strained and pulled the grass with his right hand.But the grass refused to snap, nor did the ground beneath break.He released his hand and breathed out.But would this really help him for long? What if it all crumpled down one day? What if he had to start all over again? Just one slip, only one slip, and it could all tumble down on him.Nothing was different until he was cured. Until he was no longer a burden. Until he no longer had to be cared for.He raised his head and stared at the place a certain girl would sit and watch as he struggled to swing the axe down. Usually after chopping logs herself.One the days she trained, Anne would be chopping the logs before he arrived. If she wasn't, it meant she wouldn't be turning up.Mark doubted that she was oblivious enough to not realize something was wrong with him. But she never showed any signs to make him think she knew.'Was Miriel right again?' He wouldn't be surprised if she were. Of the two, Miriel was right way more often than Mark.Mark always spotted Anne here since the day Miriel left for the Capitol. She even turned up while Mark was already chopping the logs, which she never did before.Then she would stare blankly at the sky while sighing again and again, which really annoyed him.And now she randomly disappeared again.Mark clicked his tongue.The girl was too irregular. And where exactly does she get all her energy?Mark shook his head, then slowly raised his body and stood.He was worn out already and it was still early morning.He turned and slowly trudged to the mansion.This was how he started his days ever since Miriel made her suggestion.-"You seem especially tired these days, Mister Mark. Any particular reason why?" Louis asked.Mark covered his mouth as he yawned and responded to Louis."I started training in the morning. Sorry, Louis." Mark replied.Mark sat in the lesson room - emptied just for him - where Louis held his daily lessons.In front of him was an open book, a feather pen and an inkpot on a wide table.Across the table - in front of Louis - were books, papers and parchments that Louis taught Mark.There was no other furniture in the room, not even a chair for louis, and light from the windows brightened the room."Not to worry, Mister Mark," Louis replied, "We shall end our lesson for today. And hereafter reschedule it to after brunch.""You may rest after your training. Then we shall start our lessons." He added."Thanks Louis." Mark replied.Louis closed his books, gathered his papers and carried them as he left."Wait, Louis." Mark called"Yes, Mister Mark?" Louis turned around and looked at Mark."Have you seen Anne today?" Mark asked."I am afraid not," He replied,"Perhaps you may ask the servants, if you wish to search for her.""Yeah, I'll do that. Thanks Louis."Louis bowed - palm to hand - then turned and left the room.As the doors closed, Mark slumped and placed his head on the table.He was exhausted and his head hurt. He could barely pay any attention to the lesson, nor could he open his eyes properly.Hopefully a meal would fix it.-After his meal and some lazing about, Mark went to the barracks.He stood on the side of the clearing, watching the soldiers train. Beside him was Hurlstead, keenly eyeing the soldiers with his hands on his hips."Go join them, runt. Stop standin' like you're dead." He said."Not today Captain," Mark shook his head, "Too tired."His chest heaved as he breathed, while he stood beside Hurlstead. He felt better after the meal but still not good enough to train.
Maybe he should go to the stables instead?
"Tch," Hurstlead clicked his tongue, "It won't matter to ur' enemy.""I know, Captain…I know." Mark replied. It was something he knew firsthand. One of the many things the barricade had carved into him.Hurstead didn't reply.They silently watched the soldiers training for a while, until Mark spoke."Has Anne come to train with you today, Captain?" He asked.Hurlstead squinted his eyes a bit as he replied."The girl? No. Not today or yester.""Have you seen her around here at least?" Mark asked."No," Hurlstead shook his head,"Somethin' happen?" "Not really. I just, haven't seen her today and thought it was odd." Mark replied. It was around this time that she would be training with the captain, and she never skipped training."Anythin' happens, you tell me." Hurlstead said."Okay, I will.""Wait," Mark paused,"Why aren't you calling her runt like the rest of us?" There were only a few people the captain didn't call runts."She shows more promise than the whole lot of you." Hurlstead replied, then clicked his tongue.Mark stared at the captain with his mouth open. That was not a fair comparison at all.He stayed for a bit then returned to the mansion-After dinner, Mark had a few options; sleep, or fail and stay awake in the room, or wander the corridors.He stopped wandering the corridors since the night they killed the spindlefell, and where he ran off to the cave.Maybe that was the tiniest bit of progress? Or was it too soon to say?Mark sat on top of his bed and stared at the room; at the ceilings, at the walls or at the windows. Until he fell asleep. And repeated it each time he woke until the sun rose.The only light was any that entered from the windows. But even when it was all dark outside, it was never dark enough.It was dim, for Mark. It always was, just like how dim it was in that forest. Like it had taken root in his vision.As his eyelids drooped, he heard some knocks on the door. Then he heard them again.He slowly raised and walked to the door, and opened it.In front of him stood Anne, still in her maid clothing, with a grin on her face.