"Why are you always like this?!" My mother yells, pain in her voice.

"You made me like this! With all your words, the way you choose him over me every single time!" My father responded back yelling louder, he was filled with anger, a bottle in one of his hands and button up shirt undone wrinkled up.

"He's just a child Kija! He doesn't know any better, you should know that!" My mother breaks down in tears as she tries to reason with father but he wouldn't listen.

"He's worthless! Just like you, he takes after you that's why he has no potential in him" He had only ever spoken harsh words towards me, everytime my name came out his mouth he treated me like an object that has no value. 

"You're drunk, you always are," My mother's voice had went down back to her normal tone but the feeling of her upset was still there, she's had enough "You always had cherished your other two children whenever you're sober, but when it came to Myung you never looked at him besides in disgust. I've had it with you, I won't take it anymore" She walks off pushing him with her shoulder but he grabs her wrist roughly then throws her to the floor.

"You won't leave me, you have no right to leave me" He raised his glass bottle up then quickly slammed it, but before it had touched her, I blocked the hit covering her body with mine the glass breaking shredding bits of my clothing.

"Myung!" My mother gasps in shock yelling my name terrified, but my father had only looked down in disappointment; no regret to what has happened. She sits up then hugs me one hand on my head as the other is behind holding my back, she slowly raises that hand to see blood on her hand.

"Worthless" My father says looking down at us, my mother once again rages but refuses to argue any further. She got up carrying my body running out the door to the hospital, it had been 11 pm close to midnight the darkness around us only growing more. I don't remember much else from that day, but after that had happened my mother went back to live with my grandmother who helped us have a roof over our head, the scars of the hit on my back remained in 3 horizontal lines. I was only 10 when that all happened, my mother went through a heavy divorce between my father losing rights to my brother and sister but my father refused to take me as well leaving me with my mother but in debt.

"Honey, what do you want to be when you grow up?" My mother says smiling down at me, we both sat at the small coffee table early in the morning as I drew in a coloring book she had gotten me.

"I want to become an artist! I want to become rich to help mom not worry about the bills anymore" I looked up at her smiling, I was determined to treat my mother better than my father had ever done.

"Oh really?" She chuckles then leans in closer, "Then you must study really hard okay? And if you ever lose hope, know mom will always believe in you okay?" I nodded in agreement then went back to coloring my book. To have been so naive at that age was more simple, unaware of everything around me I couldn't even see past my mother's smile was someone who had fought so hard to be happy especially for their child.

"Mom?" Later that night I woke up from a nightmare unable to go back to sleep, so I went into the living room and kitchen looking anywhere to find my mother but she was nowhere. I walked back down the hall to head to my room but then saw that one of the doors was creaked open and light was on, I opened the door slowly peeking in to see the bathtub dyed in red and an arm. "Mom!!" I slam the rest of the door open running to her as she laid there lifeless, eyes closed, skin pale, cuts on her arms and pills next to the tub that had spilled out. I was too young to understand.

"Myung?!" my grandmother came rushing in then saw what I've seen, she was shocked. She pulls me away from my mother trying to get me out of the bathroom, "Go to your room Myung, now!" 

"Mom, wake up!" I cried out to her.

"Myung! To your room!" My grandmother yells at me.

"Please wake up" I was 12, I always thought things were okay when we left my dad but I guess it was only for me and my mother couldn't bear it any longer. 

My grandmother had raised me after my mother's passing. It was 6 years ago but I could remember the way her body was so pale and I kept begging wishing that it wasn't real; as if it was just another nightmare that I needed to wake up from. I turned 18 last month in April. Everyday I'm trying to pass through without the thought and memories of my mom but it was difficult to focus, I had trouble making friends since it felt like everyone already knew each other and I was already too late to even introduce myself. I tried to keep my promise to my mother studying hard in school to get a good job even if she's not an artist. I was too late to help her but I could be there to help my grandmother with anything; did I even want to go through a graduation without her? Everybody else's parents or family would go to their graduation but do I want this celebration to only know my father despises me, and the person I want the most to be there passed.

"Hey excuse me" I hear a voice next to me sounding like it was trying to gain my attention, I looked up from my desk looking over seeing a boy with dark blue hair with a leaf cut his hair being split at the middle he had very dark brown eyes and pale skin with strong structure of his face and body the outline of his figure showing through his own uniform. "I was wondering if by any chance you had the notes from last class I could take a photo or use? See I was gone to train to become an idol" He smiles, placing his pointer finger and thumb on his chin trying to show off his looks and brag about trying to become an idol.

"I do, just take a photo of them" I take out my notebook flipping to the notes.

"Oh, thought you would be more interested in what I said" he pouted and confused slowly putting down his hand to his pocket taking out his phone.

"You wanted the notes, didn't you?" I say looking back up at him with an expressionless face.

"Yes please" He smiles trying to be friendly so I wouldn't change my mind, he points the camera to my notes getting closer over; his body leaning over my shoulder pressing up against me. I switched to a different page for the last part of the notes then when I heard the final camera click I closed my book quickly looking away from him. "Oh, well thank you if I ever become famous I'll treat you to a nice dinner" he smiles brightly at me waving goodbye moving to his seat. Such a strange boy, but I guess he has more inspiration and believes in himself, to think you can become an idol so easily, feels like only something you could only dream of being.