"You seem more focused at work than anything today your highness," Klein told me after I finished the fourth pile of papers that was supposed to be managed at the Dukedom. "It makes me wish that every day was Spring Garden for you to be this diligent."
My blue eyes traveled to him like sharp swords.
"You must be happy, knowing that the Spring Garden is about to start."
"Haha..." Klein awkwardly left his gaze away from me.
I was ready to set fire to him if he wouldn't stop with all the nonsensical teasings.
Even if it was to help the emperor reach his ideals... everything was still tiring for me.
He told me his current plans for this spring garden, but God knows how much I think about not marrying any of these ladies no matter how much the public loves them.
It's just that... my heart is yearning for another love.
"Your pen has not moved." He mentioned. That's when I realized that I had broken the quill.
"Get me another one."
"I suggest you rest, Duke." He sighed and grabbed the papers in my hand. "As much as I am happy that you are now focusing more on your work, it is also my task as your aide to help you during distressing times. The work's quality will not be the same. How about you go for a walk?"
"I'm not interested."
"The ladies have arrived today, are you not even curious about them?"
"No."
Again, Klein heaved a sigh.
"Why do you hate women that much?"
"I don't."
"You do know that the whole empire is now labeling you as 'impotent' right?" Once again, I decided to stab him with my eyes. "A-At least... that's better than you being bisexual.. I-I would still serve you b-but--"
"Just shut up Klein."
"Yes, Your Highness." And he closed his mouth like a squeaking mouse.
Contrary to people's guesses, I am either impotent or want to date the same gender.
I'm also not an overly holy man who wants to keep their purity until death, nor do I hate women.
In this second life I was given, I just woke up one day in prison with the prince now emperor, extending his hand to me.
I was framed for bombing the sea and armory within the capital of the empire.
Apparently, I was a great scapegoat since I was one of the people who forgot their memories during the incident. The current emperor however saw potential in me and helped me amidst that darkness.
During one of our conquests, I hit my head again. And it was at that time that some of my memories from before I woke up slowly returned.
That before my life in prison, I had a life somewhere... and that there was someone in that life.
I have forgotten most of it, the Emperor and the people around me also think of it as just a 'dream'
But some of the blurred memories were too realistic for me to only be dreaming.
And so I did my best to become a Duke.
Hoping that if that person heard my name, that person would recognize me and tell me who I am.
People keep saying that there was a high chance that the person was also involved during the bombing incidents and died. But there were not many casualties reported, and none of those casualties involved a woman---that I'm thanking God for.
I called for Doctors and Royal Magicians, but without any other trigger, they said that I could not completely regain all my memories.
I can try hitting my head repeatedly in a wall but... I wouldn't want that person to see me in a sorry state if she ever found me.
It's just that... even now... I still haven't lost hope yet.
What was the use of knowing my name if I could not even know her?
"What's that?" Klein questioned.
"Your tricks won't work on me Klein."
"Why--How mean! I was not trying to make you curious!"
And now I'm curious about what he's seeing.
"I just thought I saw a glimpse of you in the lake."
"Me?"
This time, it piqued my interest.
If what he reported to me was correct, the ladies should have been in the garden right now. All maids and servants should cater to them... so what does he mean about having someone in the lake?
I stood up and looked down at the window.
A kid... with hair that was a similar shade to mine was playing beside the lake.
Beside the lake.
My heart raced.
I didn't intend to go outside but the child might be in danger!
"Fetch me some clothes just in case, Klein."
*****
"Your Highness!!" Klein shouted as he chased after me towards the lake.
I... I caught the child's hand before he fell down the waters.
For some reason, something coursed through me and I started running down the mansion just to fetch this man who was wandering around the landscape.
"Are you alright?" I asked, careful not to hold his hand too tight.
"U-Uhn??" The child seems confused.
He was still looking at the lake even when I was holding his hand.
Why was he looking at the lake?
It was frustrating to me that there might be danger at any time no matter how fascinated he was with the waters.
Although I agree that the lake is beautiful.
"What are you looking at the lake, little man?"
"Your Highness! That could have been dangerous!" Finally, my slow aide caught up. "Ugh! Even if there was a random ki---D-D-Duke?" Klein's mouth fell on the floor.
"Yes?" I asked, looking at him.
But instead of looking at me, he was looking at the child.
The child who seemed to be looking at the lakewater earlier was now looking at me.
"Water too?"
The young man cupped my face.
His small hands were as soft as cotton and his cheeks were as chubby as pancakes.
"Yes?" Once more, my heart skipped a bit.
He... looks a lot like me.
"Mister! We're the same!!" He pointed at my eyes with a smile. "Blue! It's blue!! Blue is my favorite color, mum's too, is it Mister's favorite??"
As the child asked me a multitude of questions, my heart settled peacefully.
It looks like he was looking at his expression in the water, and that he also mistook me as a water.
I chuckled. Now that he's focused on me, I'm just glad that he's not hurt.
"Yes... Blue is my favorite. May I carry you?"
"Carry? Just like mommy?"
"Yes.. like mum."
"Yup! I want carries!!"
The little guy jumped repeatedly, raising his arms as if he were ready to be fetched any time.
I never had an experience with kids but it seems like it just felt natural to scoop him and carry him up.
"N-No way..." Klein was crying beside me. "Did the Duke have a child in the Dukedom without me knowing??"
"You've been beside me for three years, Klein." I sighed. "How absurd would that be?"
Besides, isn't black hair and blue eyes a fairly common trait amongst commoners?
"Mister! I love you!!" The child suddenly exclaimed. "Mister is kind because he carries me."
"Am I kind?"
"Yes, yes!" The child nodded his head up and down. It was so cute, like a pingpong ball.
"B-But the resemblance is uncanny..."
"Really?"
"The other mister is noisy." I burst out laughing hearing the child say that.
"Isn't he?"
"Hey! Why are you agreeing with a child you won't know??"
"May I know your name?"
"Uhh---Mom said I shouldn't listen to strangers... but..."
"My name is Erden. How about you little guy?"
"Lucas! Luke for short!" He giddily introduced himself. "Lucas and Mister are friends now right??"
"Yup. Do you want cookies?"
"Cookies?" His blue eyes lit up.
Seeing the galaxy in his eyes, I cannot help but smile.
He doesn't need a wife but the idea of having a child does not seem so bad..
"Mom sometimes brings cookies home, like stars."
"Do you eat cookies often?"
"Uhm... once every month? Mom can make them so good!"
"Your mom sounds like a good person."
If only she didn't leave you alone and wandering.
I held him a little closer. For some reason, I can't seem to think of leaving the child alone.
I need to know about his parents in order to return him.... and also give them my word.
"Mom is so lovely!!"
"How about your dad?"
"Dad?" The child suddenly seemed puzzled, he looked at me, tilting his head. "What is a dad?"
I froze.
For the first time in a while, I suddenly don't know how to handle a situation.
I twisted my head to look at Klein who have been following us... he better be useful this time!
"U-Uhm, dad is like.. Mister." Klein pointed at my face. How could he expect little Lucas to understand such a vague description? "He's mum but a mister."
Should I just kill him?
"Oh! Like Mister!!" Lucas clapped. "A big man, like me!"
"A big man." I stare in awe and wonder as he celebrates.
I guess... Klein is gonna keep his head for today.
I wouldn't like such a pure childlike Lucas to see a head flying away on such a lovely day.
"Yes, a big man like you baby." I nuzzled his cute nose.
Why.. everything about this child just seem to be so cute?
I brought Lucas to a gazebo, safe from the lake.
I planned to go back to the office right after helping a child but...
Minutes became hours.
And hours became moments.
In the end, we were both so tired we fell asleep under the cool shade of an orange tree.
As my awareness disappear, I can't help but think that Klein was wise for once.
He really does look like me.
Like a son.
I snuggled and touched the sleeping child's forehead, making sure he was comfortable in my lap.
Just a short nap then....