He was referring to my respected master, Chen Lao Zhenren.
The title "Zhenren" is a term of utmost respect in both martial arts and literary circles. As a leading figure in the Taiji School, his mastery in martial arts is unparalleled. Over the past 20 years, he has also dedicated himself to Daoist cultivation, seeking to understand the universe.
At the age of 95, despite his advanced age, he remains youthful in spirit and appearance, with a sharp mind and clear vision. His movements in martial arts are fluid and powerful, embodying both strength and grace.
Master never married and has no children. His entire youth and passion were devoted to the Taiji School. He always said we, his disciples, are his true children. I am honored to be his last disciple.
My brother is also one of his disciples, though not a closed-door one like me. My brother secretly brought me to him, and Master always doted on me, protecting me without limits and treating me like his own grandson. Except for the rigorous training, he couldn't bear to see me suffer, often reminding the senior disciples to take care of me.
If he knew I was trapped here, he would be extremely worried and might even harm his own health. Thinking about this makes me feel deeply guilty and distressed.
"Master is 95 now. I'm really afraid that if he finds out about my situation here, it might..." I sighed, feeling particularly guilty and upset.
Despite his strength, he is still human. If he gets sick from the worry, what will I do? My senior brothers and I have always said we would take care of him in his old age and carry forward the Taiji School. But now...
"Ping An, don't think too much. We need to focus on the present to have hope for the future. Chen Lao Zhenren would want you to stay strong. You living on is his hope," Chen Weiqiang comforted me, realizing he had mentioned the wrong person.
"Thank you, Strong. Despite my misunderstandings, hitting you, hating you, even wanting to kill you, you never blamed me..."
"Don't be silly, we're brothers! Brothers are meant to trust and support each other for life. How could I blame you? If anything, I blame myself for being blind and falling for that wicked woman, dragging you into this mess! You hitting me made me feel better. It's my fault you got tricked. I hate it!" Chen Weiqiang said, trembling with anger, much like me when thinking about Lulu.
"I wonder how things are back home. My senior brothers must be pulling all strings to find me, but it's all in vain. This is Myawaddy in Karen State, controlled by warlords. They can't even get a trace of me..."
I sat on the stool, feeling utterly hopeless about my future. But I couldn't just give up or fall into despair.
"It's exhausting, painful, and desperate to hold on."
"Hang in there, there will be light," Chen Weiqiang said, lighting a cigarette with a melancholic look.
"I don't know if my family is going crazy, thinking I've disappeared while working a summer job. Haha," Bayi said, rubbing his red eyes, almost crying. He would probably never want to work another summer job again.
"At least you have some hope. I have none at all. I live day by day, waiting to be fed to the crocodiles. I hope you remember I was here. During festivals, light a candle and pour a drink for me, to remember our time together," Paithun said, exhaling a cloud of smoke, hiding his sadness and secrets within it, revealing them only to the wind.
"Brother, can I have a cigarette?" Bayi asked Strong, and I asked for one too. From that day, we both started smoking.
When I became his disciple, Master made three rules: no gambling, smoking, or drinking, no engaging in immoral activities, and no bullying the weak. Until I turned 30 and achieved mastery, no romantic relationships or losing my virginity were allowed. Breaking these rules meant expulsion from the school. I remembered and followed all his teachings.
But now, I am powerless. To survive, I've already broken the no gambling, smoking, and drinking rules. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. When I break the rules, lose my virginity, and fail in my practice, I will cease to exist.
"Ping An, do you know why I felt an instant connection with you?" Paithun asked, lighting another cigarette.
"Huh?" We all paused, puzzled.
"When I heard your accent, it reminded me of my mother. And when you laughed crazily, those dimples looked just like my sister's," Paithun said, taking a deep breath and continuing after a moment's silence. "My mom is from Hunan, very beautiful. She was sweet-talked into marriage by my dad while working in Shenzhen. They had me and my sister, and we were happy.
But everything changed when my dad got sick and died at 40. My mom wanted to join him, but she stayed strong for us. Life was cruel; a year later, my sister got leukemia. We were already broke from my dad's medical bills, but she was my sister—ten years younger, innocent and cute, with chubby cheeks, big eyes, and dimples like an angel when she smiled. I had to save her.
I worked three jobs, day and night, but the money was never enough. Then a friend in boxing suggested working as a bodyguard in Southeast Asia for 30,000 yuan a month, with food, lodging, and benefits. I was tempted. I wasn't educated, short and ugly, only good at enduring hardships and fighting. The offer was irresistible.
But when I got here, I found myself working as a guard in a scam compound for 3,000 yuan a month."
Paithun broke down, not even noticing the cigarette burning his fingers. His story was even more tragic than mine. At least I had happy memories to sustain me; he had nothing but despair and sorrow. He hadn't been able to send a penny home, surviving was a miracle.
"If I'm missing, my mom will go mad, and my sister's illness...she's only ten!" Paithun threw away his cigarette, covering his face and sobbing. He missed home more than anyone, feeling the deepest despair.
I didn't know how to comfort him; my words stuck in my throat. Bayi was already crying. He must have been thinking of his family too. Chen Weiqiang smoked one cigarette after another, tears streaming down his face.
Time seemed to stop. We silently cried, thinking of our homes, parents, and loved ones. I missed Master, my senior brothers, and wanted to kill Lulu and these demons.
After a moment, I stood up, quickly moved the boxes by my bed, and pulled out a black travel bag...