***Today***
Solar panels were set up outside Jasper's castle, capturing the morning sun to power his devices. Inside, Jasper lounged on a large armchair, watching TV and making bizarre noises.
"Bleh bluh bluh," Jasper muttered. "Zwoop, zwoop! Beep beep!"
Raven, sitting on a nearby chair, stared at him incredulously. "What the hell are you doing?"
Jasper turned to her with a goofy grin. "I'm practicing my alien language for when they invade. You know, gotta be prepared."
Raven rolled her eyes. "What? Jasper, seriously, what's wrong with you?"
"I'm just... uh... decoding the TV signals. Yeah, that's it!" he replied, eyes glued to the screen.
Raven kept pressing, "Have you lost your mind? You've been acting weird ever since you started watching that thing."
Jasper responded absentmindedly, "It's all part of my master plan to... to, uh, outsmart the TV! Yeah!"
"Who is your damn master?!" Raven finally snapped and slapped him across the face. Jasper blinked, coming back to his senses. "What the—why did you slap me?"
They argued for a while, Jasper still half-dazed. Raven pointed at the TV. "You've been watching that thing for a month now! Don't you want to do something else?"
Jasper looked shocked. "A month?! Holy shit, I got bored... but it's so... mesmerizing."
Raven sighed, trying to keep her frustration in check. "How about we go for a walk in the garden? Fresh air might do you good."
Jasper shook his head. "Nah, the flowers might get jealous of my good looks. Can't have that drama."
Raven pinched the bridge of her nose. "Fine. How about a game of chess? It'll keep your mind sharp."
He got flashbacks of chess 3.0 and looked terrified. After she saw his reaction, she said, "I'm talking about normal one"
Jasper shrugged. "Oh then...But the pieces always argue with each other. It's too noisy for my genius brain."
"Huh! how?" Raven stared at him in disbelief. "Alright. How about we cook something together? You love experimenting with potions; it's almost the same."
Jasper waved his hand dismissively. "The kitchen utensils conspire against me. Last time, the spatula tried to stage a coup."
Raven's patience finally snapped. "Then have sex with me!"
Jasper's eyes widened and said in slow phase, "Whaaaaaat?"
Raven sighed, exasperated. "Why are you surprised? A month ago, you said you'd make it up to me. I've been asking to do it; it's not like you heard it for the first time."
"But- ehm... but you said something like ,you want to know me and...Whatever"
"Yes and we have been talking for the last month, I know enough!"
Jasper still looked at her like he was hearing it for the first time. "Damn, I guess this thing makes me stupid," he said, glancing at the TV.
Even then, he let out a "Eh" and decided to stay and watch a new show. Raven threw up her hands in frustration. "Ugh, do whatever you want!" she yelled, storming out of the room.
After Raven storms out, Jasper slouches deeper into his armchair, eyes fixated on the television. The screen flickers, displaying an old episode of a comedy show. Jasper chuckles absentmindedly, but there's a hint of frustration in his eyes.
Raven, now outside the room, paces back and forth, muttering to herself. "He's impossible! How can he be so oblivious? A month of doing nothing but watching TV. I thought he need some rest but I've never seen him sleep... I need to figure out a way to snap him out of this."
Suddenly, an idea strikes her. She heads to the library, determined to find a spell or potion that might help clear Jasper's mind. As she rummages through the shelves, she comes across an old, dusty book titled "Mind Restoration and Clarity."
"Perfect," she whispers, flipping through the pages. She finds a recipe for a potion that promises to restore mental clarity and focus. "This should do the trick."
Meanwhile, in the television room, Jasper's laughter dies down. He starts to feel a pang of guilt. "Maybe she's right... I have been watching this thing for too long," he mumbles. But the moment passes quickly as another funny scene plays, and he's back to laughing like an idiot.
Raven gathers the necessary ingredients from the alchemy room, mixing them carefully according to the book's instructions. She works diligently, her frustration transforming into determination. "This has to work. For both our sakes."
As the potion simmers, she glances at the door, half expecting Jasper to wander in. But he remains glued to the television, oblivious to her efforts.
After a while, the potion is ready. Raven pours it into a small vial and takes a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."
Raven marched back to the television room, determination in her eyes. She handed Jasper a vial of the potion. Without taking his eyes off the TV, he unconsciously drank it, but nothing happened. Raven sighed in frustration and noticed a book on the floor. The cover featured a grinning man, Mark, giving a thumbs up, with the title "The Cure for Brainrot."
"What's brainrot?" she muttered, picking up the book. She sat next to Jasper and began flipping through the pages. They were all blank. Midway through, she found a single sentence: "Are you really still turning pages, you dumbshit?! Just go touch some grass."
Raven snapped at the book, "Who are you calling dumb?" and ripped it in half. She glanced at Jasper, who remained oblivious, eyes glued to the screen. "Nothing to lose," she thought.
She grabbed Jasper's arm, trying to drag him outside to touch some grass, but he didn't budge. She thought for a moment, then grabbed the TV. Jasper followed her like a mindless drone, still watching the screen in her hands.
Outside, Raven placed the TV on the ground, and Jasper sat in front of it, still entranced. The moment his butt touched the grass, it was like magic. A weight seemed to lift from his shoulders, and a newfound wisdom sparkled in his eyes.
As Jasper's skin touched the grass, he felt an immediate clarity. Sunlight, like a mystical balm, bathed him, its healthful rays performing miracles. It was as if the steam of ignorance evaporated from his pores
Wait a minute, why is there actual steam? it supposed to be a fucking metaphor! Oh, right. Jasper is an archvampire...It's just sunlight is burning his skin and he regenerates repeatedly, causing the steam
Jasper finally looked away from the TV and turned his head towards the sun, a wisdom sparkling in his eyes. Slowly, he began to float towards the sun, feeling the weight of ignorance melt away.
Raven shouted at him, "Where the fuck are you going?! Hey?!"
Jasper didn't answer. He had a saintly smile on his face and continued to float towards the sun.
"Don't pretend like you don't hear me! Heeeey!!!"