Chapter 45 - Florida Man Attempts to Nut Using Poisonous Cobra's Mouth, Gets Bitten
The slug bullet struck the Lamia champion's chest, knocking her backward. Although it failed to penetrate her skin, she fell on her back, her body shaking all over.
Felix stood still, observing everyone's reactions and expecting the usual cliche shocked expressions. Contrary to his expectations, no one appeared shocked or astonished. They seemed amused, with some even licking their lips and secretly touching themselves.
"Wut da hail..." Felix had a bad feeling about this.
Zhu Xin Ci glanced at the snake-head Lamia, who blankly stared at the sky and patted her chest. The slug bullet had left a bruise, amusing both the chieftain and the champion. The latter rose as if nothing had happened, scratched her chest, and peeled the flattened bullet head off her skin.
"It's been a hundred years since I got stunned by a weird human magic," she remarked. Facing the chieftain, she declared, "I fell, so it's my defeat!"
The pink-haired chieftain nodded and announced, "Well done, Mei. There's no shame in being defeated by an alpha! I hereby announce that this man is a human alpha! Treat him with respect!"
The girls cheered and laughed as if celebrating, leaving Felix confused.
"Eh, the reaction is weird..." he muttered, consulting with Jessica. "I have a bad feeling about this. Jessica, do you have any other information?"
<…There is no relevant record about their behavior or the duel. Joxonu never accepted their challenge.>
Unable to get an answer, Felix decided to ask the source directly. He faced Zhu Xin Ci. "Ma'am, I have a question."
The pink Lamia grinned. "What is it?"
"Why are you all so happy? I just kicked your champion's butt."
"...Well," Zhu Xin Ci shrugged. "I guess I haven't explained about the 'rewards.'"
"...Rewards?"
"More like some friendship tokens. When we welcome an alpha guest, we always show our hospitality by giving them gifts."
"Alrighty then," Felix put his weapon away and rubbed his hands as he always welcomed free stuff. "What are the gifts?"
Suddenly, the Lamia champion took off her thong and spread her legs. Zhu Xin Ci opened her palms, highlighting the snake-head woman's private parts.
"Alpha humans are welcome to breed with our champions and our tribeswomen. You have earned the honor to fertilize our eggs. Of course, we won't shove our eggs into your butthole. That's the job for our seedbeds. Instead, you can shove your balls into her hole!" Zhu Xin Ci laughed.
Felix was speechless. He repeatedly shook his head. "Can I reject the offer?"
"If you're not into public breeding, you may pick any woman of our tribe and breed with her. Go ahead. Partake anyone you fancy."
"...Er, can I not breed any?"
"Refusing our goodwill means war."
"..."
"Now, make your decision. Will you breed with us, take one of us as your wife, or wage war against us?"
Felix felt trapped. Looking at the Lamia champion again, he noticed a faint grin and the faded bruise. Indeed, the snake-head woman had lost on purpose!
Snakes are always snakes!
As these girls were too cunning, Felix was cautious. He looked around, pretending to be interested in the girls. Many Lamias noticed his glances and took off their helmets, revealing their faces and beauty. Some even removed their armor to show their skin and private parts.
"Mind if I look around?"
"Sure!" Zhu Xin Ci smiled while Mei, the champion pouted in disappointment.
Seizing the opportunity, Felix started walking to the back of the army, heading northwest. Zhu Xin Ci followed him. Ignoring the pink Lamia, Felix searched for an excuse.
After walking for five minutes, he stumbled upon a strange wheeled cart carrying a caged monster. Inside was a large snake with two small human arms of an infant child, coiled and looking down in a daze.
At first, Felix was taken aback by the monster's appearance. But when he noticed the moist eyes and traces of tears, his heart ached. Something within him was drawn to this beast.
"I want that." Felix pointed at the chained beast inside the cage.
"Huh?" Zhu Xin Ci furrowed her brows.
The beast was a mutated Lamia child, born with a snake head, two human arms, and a snake body. Her head was as big as a baby, and her three-foot length was much shorter than other Lamias, who averaged over ten feet in length.
Zhu Xin Ci asked to confirm, "Are you sure? That's a disabled child. She can't even speak. She doesn't respond to our orders. The only things she knows are eating, sleeping, and excreting."
Felix's expression turned ugly when Zhu Xin Ci mentioned that the two-armed snake was a mutated child. This left a bad taste in his mouth.
"Why do you cage her? What did she do wrong?"
"A mutated child like her can only be used as cannon fodder in battles, like the champion you fought. If she is useful, she will be acknowledged as a warrior. But for now, she has yet to prove herself."
Felix started to get irritated and frustrated. He asked while approaching the cage.
"How old is she?"
"She was born a year ago. She's old enough to join a battle."
"A year ago?!" Felix turned around and glared at Zhu Xin Ci, disgusted by her tribe's decision on this child. "Are you sending a one-year-old child to war?! As a fucking cannon fodder?!"
"Yes. What's the problem with that?"
Felix had a thousand reasons to barrage profanity at Zhu Xin Ci. However, considering the differences in culture and location, he closed his mouth to avoid complications. After taking a deep breath and reeling in his anger, Felix affirmed his decision. "I want this child. I'll take her with me."
Zhu Xin Ci frowned and stared into Felix's eyes. "I don't mind if you wish to partake of me or my subordinates. Are you sure you want this useless child as your wife?"
The pink Lamia gave Felix a meaningful look, contemplating her choices for a moment before delivering her ultimatum.
"You know, all I need is new blood. You just need to mate with one of us, and we'll be on our way. Here's your choice: mate with me, and I'll let you go. If you want this useless child, you can take her with you afterward!"
"Can we not fuck each other? I'm afraid of diseases."
"Fine. I'll use my mouth. I only need to extract your fluid anyway."
Having endured enough, Zhu Xin Ci crouched, took off Felix's pants, and opened her mouth, revealing her slit tongues and snake fangs. She surprisingly had four long tongue tips, moving independently like tentacles. Zhu Xin Ci began her task, not letting Felix go.
"!!!"
...
Two hours later, Zhu Xin Ci released Felix and spat a mouthful of sticky white liquid into a clay bowl, which her subordinates had prepared. After filling a one-liter bowl to the brim, she stood up.
Meanwhile, Felix stood still in a daze, not from pleasure but from the paralysis caused by the pink Lamia's saliva. He regretted letting his guard down.
"What a pity," Zhu Xin Ci complained. "Had you mated with any of us, we could have formed an amicable relationship. Now, take this useless child with you and get lost. We don't need you anymore."
Zhu Xin Ci unlocked the cage and dragged the mutated Lamia out, shoving the child to Felix. She then turned around, heading back along with her subordinates who were carrying bowls of Felix's fluid.
Felix, still numb all over his body except for his groin, struggled to move. He put on his pants and supported the two-armed python, looking at the pink-haired Lamia in disgust.
'That snake bitch! I hope she gets abducted and sold to a brothel one day!'
Turning around, Felix shifted his attention to the mutated infant Lamia. Looking at the child up close, Felix realized how small she was. At a glance, she resembled a large python with two infant human arms. In reality, she had the head of a king cobra and the body of a python.
The mutated Lamia looked back at Felix, flickering her slit tongue to smell him. Her innocent eyes gazed at his face, wary but curious.
Felix hesitated at first but mustered his courage and patted her head. He sat down and spoke to her with a soft voice. "Hey, kid. What's your name? Can you talk?"
"…"
Talking to the girl, Felix realized Zhu Xin Ci hadn't even asked his name. He smacked his lips, cursing the snake woman in his mind.
Watching Felix's changing expressions, the cobra beast shrank away at first. But after sensing his gentle touch, she widened her black puppy eyes and gazed at Felix's face again. She raised her arms and grabbed his wrist like an infant holding a mother's finger.
Felix laughed and held her hands, which were the size of his finger despite her body size. Teasing the cobra girl, he let her grab on it.
Touching Felix's index finger, the snake girl's eyes brightened, liking the warmth of his hands. She flickered her tongue to memorize his scent. Then, she did something shocking.
Suddenly, she opened her mouth and sprang toward Felix's neck, sinking her sharp teeth into his skin and injecting transparent fluid from her venom sac into his bloodstream!
"HEY!"
Felix almost cursed the snake girl, thinking she was like Zhu Xin Ci. However, his body ignited in flame from the inside, stopping him from uttering a word. At the same time, Jessica informed him of a surprising development.
*DING*
Despite the surprising messages, Felix was in shock. His clothes were burnt to a crisp, and the burning pain affected his eyes and brain. His nervous system warned him of the looming crisis, and all his muscle fibers shook, giving him a seizure.
The nearby Lamias smirked and scoffed at Felix for trying to befriend the mutated beast. They snickered and walked away, leaving him to die from the fire poison.
Meanwhile, the hydra girl remained by Felix's side, never letting her fangs go from his neck. She drank his fiery hot blood and made an oath in her mind, chanting a spell of magic she was born with.
*DING*