Rin lay in the snow, her eyes closed and her breath coming in small gasps. Her cheeks were flushed from both the alcohol and the exertion.
For the first time, Shinji found her somewhat cute and pretty, no longer just a character from an anime or game in his mind.
โShe was a real girl, and everyone in this world was a living person.
"Damn it," Shinji muttered, running his hand through his hair and sitting up with a look of frustration, "Why did it take me so long to realize this?"
Rin, with her eyes half-open in a drunken haze, asked, "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing," Shinji replied as he steadied himself on the cold snow and stood up. "Let's go back. Otherwise, you'll catch a cold. I'll be a gentleman and walk you home."
"Walking a drunk girl home doesn't need an excuse!" Rin retorted, wobbling as she got up, putting one hand on her hip and pointing at Shinji with the other. "It's common sense!"
"People who sneak drinks before they're of legal age have no right to talk about common sense!"
After dropping Rin off at her house, it was already two in the morning.
At 2:30 AM, Shinji finally returned home, only to see Sakura waiting outside with an umbrella.
"Welcome back, brother."
"Yeah."
Shinji responded nonchalantly, but he secretly noted Sakura's red, frozen hands and feet, and the snow piling up on the umbrella, showing how long she had been waiting.
Silly girl, Shinji thought with a sigh.
"Take a bath first, brother, so you don't catch a cold."
"Yeah."
Shinji answered indifferently, but as he stepped into the house, he added, "You too, don't catch a cold."
Sakura was momentarily stunned, as it had been a long time since her brother showed any concern for her.
"Okay!" Sakura replied earnestly.
...
At the Tohsaka residence.
In the steam-filled bathroom, Rin hugged her knees and curled up in the bathtub, her face blushing as if it were about to bleed.
"What the hell am I doing..."
The shame of her drunken behavior overwhelmed her, making it impossible to sleep that night.
On the last day of the holidays, January 8th.
It had been less than half a month since Shinji changed his view of the world when a phone call from a hotel in New Fuyuki conveyed the news of Byakuya's death to the Matou family.
Standing at the hotel room door, Shinji looked at the lifeless body of his father, dressed in hotel pajamas and lying in bed, and remained silent.
Beside him, a well-dressed woman in her mid-twenties sobbed and repeatedly explained to the police, saying that it wasn't her fault, she had warned him to take the medication in prescribed doses, and she had found him dead in the morning.
The police patiently comforted the woman, as if she were the grieving family member.
"Are you Matou Shinji?"
"Yes," Shinji replied.
"Your father's death has been confirmed as an accident. He overdosed on an aphrodisiac."
Shinji didn't hear the rest of what the police said.
What caught his attention was the woman's change in demeanor after his father's body was taken away. She smiled and handed him a business card, whispering about many "nice ladies" she knew.
Shinji couldn't help but laugh. This harsh reality once again reminded him of how real this world was.
Seeing him accept the card, the woman left satisfied, dreaming of more connections with the upper class, unaware that she would soon be expelled from Fuyuki City.
At the funeral, dressed in a black Western suit, Shinji stared calmly at the gravestone with byakuya's name engraved on it.
He never expected his father, whom he had secretly infused with spiritual energy and added ingredients to his drinks, to meet such an end.
He had seen byakuya complain about the pressure he was under, drinking alone to drown his sorrows.
Despite doing only minimal work, byakuya felt overwhelmed, whereas Shinji, who did much more, never felt such pressure.
What a weak man, Shinji thought.
Did he hate this man?
Probably not. While this man couldn't handle pressure, he shared Shinji's disdain for the corrupted family and the path of sorcery.
From one perspective, he wasn't a great father, but for a family steeped in dark magic, he was better than most, perhaps even doing better than many other fathers in such families.
Shinji never truly rejected him, always seeing him as his father.
Memories of childhood, before his past life memories returned, flooded Shinji's mind.
"I told you it was a long time ago, right?"
"Just like the library you often go to, the Matou family has lost its ancient power!"
"We are ordinary people now!"
"The Matou family can't use magic anymore!"
"You will never become a magus."
"You don't understand how lucky you are! Shinji!"
"There's no need to use magic."
"Forget about magic and live as a normal person."
"Understand?"
Byakuya's words echoed in Shinji's mind. The man had tirelessly and earnestly tried to persuade him.
Father, I'm sorry. Until your last moment, I couldn't let you know that your "son" never had any interest in magic, just like you.
In nature, I'm just like you. I only wanted to live a carefree life.
I'm sorry.
Seeing Shinji standing silently in front of the grave for over three hours, Sakura, dressed in a black dress, finally approached, perhaps trying to comfort him.
Noticing Sakura's presence, Shinji took one last look at the new gravestone before turning and walking away.
No one knew how tightly his hands were clenched in his pockets or how many times he almost lost control of his emotions.
Shinji understood that byakuya was just a small part of the immoral world of magic. Tragedies like Sakura's were commonplace in this world.
In his past life, as a fan of anime, Shinji had once been fascinated by such a world, but now, living in it, he couldn't find any love for it.
A world filled with various desires, reeking of decay.
Magicians were not to be praised.
Even those with ideals of eliminating human evil and saving humanity from its sins were not to be praised.
Evil, at its root, was tied to desire. Without desire, humanity would likely perish.
As for "karma," it is an ancient philosophy from Indian religion, meaning a person's actions. "Karma force" is the habit formed by repeated actions, like a person who swears so often that it becomes second nature. Buddhism talks about "eliminating karma," which means eliminating the habit, not the actions themselves. while in islam Religion it call karamah it similar like the concept of karma.
A certain "saint's" ideal of eliminating all karma was about eliminating all human actions, which Shinji found utterly unrealistic.
Turning all of humanity into immortal spirits?
Too complicated. Why not just turn everyone into mindless stones, free of evil and disputes?
Shinji most despised the magicians' superiority complex and self-righteousness.
Whether it was Kiritsugu from Fate/Zero, Zouken, or the Einzbern family, Shinji disagreed with them all.
...It would be better if it all disappeared! Everything related to magic and mysteries should vanish from this world!
The sudden thought startled Shinji.
After calming himself down, Shinji cursed under his breath.