A patient whose stay was to be measured in weeks rather than days, Bultar had been given a private room on the far side of the Halls in its furthest right corner. Approaching the door to her room, I could sense two familiar presences inside.
Their emotional states giving me reason to believe they would not wish to be surprised by a senior Jedi Healer who considered knocking in "their" Halls redundant, so I knocked loudly and waited patiently.
...
A few moments later Tutso's broad-shouldered and muscular form appeared at the door. His pale, handsome features quickly suffused with a warm smile that touched his hazel eyes as he recognized me.
Throwing open the door, he ushered me inside and quickly closed it once more. Only to enfold me in a bear hug which was very much not the smiling and easygoing, yet not physically affectionate older apprentice's style.
It was so unexpected that even with the pulse of extreme gratitude and abiding regard I'd sensed preceding the gesture, I was still caught off-guard by the unanticipated display of affection.
Awkwardly patting my friend's back until he released me a few moments later, I waited for him to step back and say his piece, because I could sense it was coming.
Which it did, but not before another wave of gratitude washed over my awareness as our eyes met. It made me feel a little uncomfortable, actually, because I'd only done what any real friend should have done in my place.
"Master Yaddle told Bultar what you did during one of the healing-sessions. I, I don't know how to thank you, Sp-, Anakin. If you hadn't figured out how to move enough of that duracrete, then been willing to risk getting crushed flat several times, Swan would be, uhh, yeah" Tutso began with a smile.
Normally quite focused and organized, his thoughts and feelings were all over the place at present. His happiness that his love was alive sloshing together with a restless sort of anxiety, as thoughts of what had nearly happened obviously continued to trouble him.
I wasn't a mind-healer, and certainly hadn't been a shrink in my first life. Meaning all I had to go with was the truth.
"It's nothing that either of you wouldn't have done for me, right? One of my friends was in physical danger, and the other in, well, emotional peril, so I did what they trained us to do.
I mean, Jedi do amazing and heroic things all the time, right? How's this any different?"
Bultar was the one who answered the question I'd put to her boyfriend. Sitting up without using the slender silver-toned cybernetic replacement for her right arm, the five foot five, hundred forty pound's Jedi's extremely fine boned "asian" (Kuati) features were touched by a somber look as she answered.
"It isn't often the apprentice cuts down two of the three Dark Siders who themselves cut down two Jedi Knights with extensive local reinforcements.
To go on from there to the devising of a means to clear such an extensive collapse and risk their life twice more in rescuing one of those Jedi? It's a very noteworthy achievement, Anakin. One for which you have my, our, abiding thanks.
I only wish that-" Her voice had been growing quieter as she'd gone along, and now she trailed off entirely as her left hand crossed her body to briefly touch the metal of her new limb.
Despite the gesture, I was certain that Bultar wasn't complaining, wasn't even thinking about the limb she'd lost. I knew what the reserved and always soft-spoken young woman was thinking despite it having taken several years to even begin getting to know her.
It was a thought I'd had myself many times in the last couple of weeks, so I completed the thought she hadn't.
"That there had been a way to save Knight Tassu, I know" I quietly confirmed in an equally somber voice. There was so much more I felt and thought about Tassu's sacrifice, but little I was willing to say until I knew how Bultar was handling his having given her what remained of his life-force.
If it had been up to me, I'm not sure I would have ever thought she needed to know about that.
Looking from one somber face to another, Tutso rose from where he'd moved to sit and lay a comforting hand very deliberately on his lady's new arm, stepped over to me, then nudged me in the ribs with one elbow and favored me with a smile I don't know how he managed to make genuine in the pall Swan and I were creating.
"Hey, your Master and the High Council decided you're ready for the Trials, Spooky. That's something that not only we can smile about, but something I am positive Jedi Tassu would be incredibly pleased to know he played a part in.
You know what Master Jinn always says while helping you work on those new bridge-velocities for your Djem So-Ataru hybridization.
The Force moves in cycles, because life is a matter of cycles. One Jedi Knight falls, so a new Jedi Knight rises not to replace but to succeed the old.
We all wish Knight Tassu had gotten a great deal more of the former before the latter, but he was fortunate enough to be able to make his death serve his principles. I hope I'm that fortunate, when it's my time to go."
I'd begun to smile as Tutso's easy, engaging way of conveying an idea made me feel like less of a ghoul for essentially profiting from the death of the fallen Jedi Knight, but my friend's final statement hit me with such unexpected force it forced my mouth to open.
Only for me to clamp it shut a moment later, as it occurred to me; idiot that I was, that one who was training to be both a Jedi Guardian and an Ace couldn't possibly stay out of the Temple hangar.
Tutso, his smile eventually faltering beneath the weight of an intent stare I hadn't even been truly conscious of as my mind had raced, asked a little hesitantly "Everything all right with you, Skywalker? You had this really intense look for a moment, and I thought I felt-"
I was quiet for several seconds as the expression of concern now adorning Bultar's face in addition to Tutso's made me feel like shit. I'd come here to support and reassure them. Not bleed them for emotional strength on my own behalf already being taxed by the adversity of the present circumstances.
I was one microsecond from curling my lips into a reassuring smile, then begin raising my Thought Shield slowly and deftly enough I could probably con them into believing the emotion had simply passed, when I just ... stopped.
"It suddenly really hit me all of a sudden that any of the people I care about could die as easily as Nacanas Tassu did. That should be so self-evident as to go unmentioned, given the dangerous nature of our shared vocation.
Guess it was simply not driven home for me, before. I, I came to terms with my own mortality a long time ago, but I suppose we're never quite as far along as we might wish to be" I explained simply and evenly.
It was strange, but simply speaking my fear aloud dramatically weakened it's group, and therefore starved the corresponding anger for fuel.
I wasn't "all better" just like that, but the lessening of the concern on my friend's faces was mirrored by my own diminishing concern. Working my issues was something I could do, so long as I could face them, at least.
Getting off the distressing topic of my emotions for a moment, I finally got around to acting like a friend and asking one of the questions I'd come to ask.
"Tutso, it, it doesn't trouble you that they're saying I'm ready for the Trials and I'm not even twenty, but you're nearly twenty-four and the High Council hasn't nudged your Master to put your name forward for the accelerated promotion initiative? If it's bugging you even a little, that is totally something we can talk about, spar over, or anything you want."
My friend gave me a very strange, quizzical look, then replied in the tone you used for a slow child. "Anakin, I would need to be out of my bleeding mind to use you as my standard of readiness.
You're lucky you're a monster with a lightsaber and a sage with the Force, because sometimes, my friend, you exhibit some of the largest, weirdest blind-spots.
It's nice of you to worry, and I guess I can see how you might with Bultar a Knight, and you about to take your Trials at nineteen like some kind of Cloner-designed super-Jedi, but I'm just fine. My path is unfurling before me just as it should."
Chagrin filled me, so I hardly looked at either of them as I said my goodbyes. They were O.K, they had each other, and my best friend wasn't going to suddenly turn into Ferus Olin because I was taking my Trials.
Things could be a lot worse. I thought as I left the Halls behind and went in search of my Master. After all, I still needed to have a frank conversation with her.
...
Hey guys can you throw some power stones to Elevate the ranking.
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