Dream big and work hard, they said.
But after 18 orphanage years, no family wanted me. An unwanted, ugly girl—that's what I had become.
Ruby—the only gift from the mother who abandoned me. My hair mocks the name, a vibrant crimson I'll never live up to. A gem is meant to sparkle, but I'm destined to face, overlooked year after year in this dismal place.
"Can't stand the sight of yourself, can you Ruby?" Ellie's venomous sneer cut through the silence. "Staring into that mirror won't make you any less hideous." We both ended up at this wretched orphanage around the same time, though I don't know for how long. As far as I can remember, Ellie has made no secret of her hatred.
She's always there, lurking, ready to pounce with her cruel taunts. "What's the matter? Cat got you tongue?" Ellie cackled, her cruel eyes gleaming with malice.
I still have no idea what I've done to earn her endless scorn. But day after day, her venom is a bitter pill I'm forced to swallow.
"Just… getting ready to go out," I mumbled, head bowed. Raising my voice would only risk incurring Ellie's wrath.
"Go out? Don't flatter yourself, you pathetic wretch. Just because a nobleman is coming to visit the orphanage, that does not mean that you are to go out and stand outside to be noticed." Her lip curled in a cruel sneer as she raked her eyes over me with undisguised revulsion.
"Just looks at you. That blotchy freckled face, like you have been rolling in filth. No amount of scrubbing could ever make you presentable." She took a menacing step closer, her eyes glittering with malice. "And that hair? The color of dried blood. You're a walking horror, enough to make even the bravest man's stomach turn."
Each biting insult felt like physical abuse, the harsh truth reinforcing the ugliness I couldn't escape no matter how hard I tried. Ellie was right—one glance at my repulsive appearance sent even the most hardened souls recoiling in terror. I was a hideous, unnatural creature, unfit to be seen in a decent company.
The sting of her callous words always caught me off guard. We're the last two that is left after everyone else moved on or… worse. I thought that shared history meant something, but she treats me like a total stranger or even worse than that. How can she be so cold after all these years? We both wanted the same thing growing up, wanting to have a family to take us away from here, but that did not happen to us.
"I have never thought of such thing. I just… I just…" The words died in my throat. What could I possibly say that she wouldn't just tear apart with that razor tongue of hers? Ellie always had the perfect rebuttal, the comeback that left me speechless and seething. No matter how I tried to stand my ground, she will knock me back down without breaking a sweat.
Just in the nick of time, Sister Anna's bellowing voice cut through the thick silence. "Girls! Time for your chores!"
I jumped at the interruption, grateful for the excuse to escape Ellie's scathing words. Anything was better than standing here, helpless against her relentless barrage. I hurried to tie back my hair, eager to lose myself in mindless tasks than listen to another touch of her cruel taunts.
"Morning, Sister," I muttered, bracing myself as her eyes narrowed into slits upon seeing me. Her perpetual scowl seemed to deepen whenever I was around—no surprise there.
Her clear favoritism towards Ellie is clear as day. Every poisonous words that Ellie spouted, Sister Anna soaked it up like gospel truth. Meanwhile, my every action was viewed with disdain through those judgmental eyes.
I was used to her unjustified contempt by now. Didn't make it sting any less when her lip curled at the mere sight of me. But I knew better than to protest. That never ended well.
"Ruby, honestly!" Sister Anna's voice dripped with disdain as she glared daggers at me. "Must you always be such a sluggish disappointment in the morning?"
I clenched my jaw, biting back the retort that instantly sprang to my lips. As if she'd ever believe I'd been up early, diligently getting ready for the day while Ellie lazed about.
"We have an important visitor arriving and you're gallivanting about doing God knows what useless tasks!" She threw up her hands in disgust. "Get a move on with you real chores this instant, you foolish girl!"
A slight irritation stated bubbling inside me, that familiar know of anger tightening in my gut. Every morning was the same—I was up before dawn while the others still slumbered.
My eyes flicked to Ellie, who is slowly coming down the stairs. Hair still a mess and eyes bleary. She was the picture of indolent laziness. But did Sister Anna scold her? Of course not.
I opened my mouth, the truth burning my tongue—that I have been up early morning, while Ellie lays in the bed scorning me. But what was the point? Sister Anna saw only what she wanted. Even if she knew the truth, she'd never take my side over her previous Ellie.
So I swallowed it down, that bitter pill of injustice. Protesting was pointless. All it would earn me was the Sister's wrath for daring to speak ill of Ellie.
"Yes, Sister," I muttered tightly, turning on my heel to escape her unjustified wrath. My chores were never good enough, no matter how hard I toiled. Such was life when you were the unfavored child.
Chores were the only currency I had to buy my keep. For the roof over my head, the meager food I was allotted—I paid in sweat and calluses, in aching muscles and bowed shoulders.
It was a debt I could never fully repay, not if I worked myself to the bone day after day until I drew my last ragged breath. The guilt, the fear of being cast out onto the unforgiving streets, it clung to me like second skin no matter how hard I toiled.
There was a question hung in the air like a noose—did I want to leave? Part of recoiled, that wounded animal part that still saw the orphanage as the only safe haven it had ever known.
But another part, that small, defiant spark I could never quite extinguish, flared with sudden, reckless hope. To escape this gilded cage, to be free of the Sister's cruel rules and Ellie's endless torment…
What awaited me beyond these walls? The unknown yawned before me, a vast and terrible maw promising only suffering and deprivation. At least here I had a roof over my head, could count on some meager scrap to stave off starvation.
Out there, with no skills beyond drudgery, how could I hope to survive? The world would chew me up and spit me out, I was certain. Better the devil I knew.
So I shook my head, realizing how pathetic I am, hating myself even as I lied through my teeth. No, I would stay. This place is my home, miserable as it is.
The relentless march of the clock hands mocked me as I dragged my aching body through the last of my chores. Sweat stung my eyes, muscles trembling with sheer exhaustion, but still I pushed on.
The afternoon sun beat down mercilessly, sapping what little strength I had left. My vision swam, the world blurring at the edges, but still I scrubbed and swept and carried, driven by the ever-present fear of punishment.
When at last the work was done, I collapsed onto the nearest bench, chest heaving. I knew I must look a fright—hair in disarray, face smeared with grime, clothing rumpled and strained. But the thought of caring, of making myself presentable, was beyond me.
Not that it matter. As always, no one spared me so much as a glance. I was a ghost, a shadow, existing only to serve at the orphanage to do chores. My weariness, my suffering—it was utterly invisible to the people around here.
With a shuddering sigh, I buried my face in my hands, willing the sting of tears away. Tomorrow, I would rise and do it all over again.
Noticing someone is approaching me, I quickly wiped away my tears. "Ruby." Ellie's voice dripped with disdain as she materialize before me, lips curled in a sneer. "Sister Felice wants you. Now."
I flinched at her tone, that familiar knot of dread coiling in my gut. All morning I'd walked on eggshells, keeping my head down, praying she wouldn't notice me. But Ellie always found a reason to lash out.
Maybe it was the way I breathed too loudly. Or how I dared to exist in her vicinity. Her hated for me seemed to have no bounds, no rationale beyond my mere presence offending her.
I searched her face for any hint of what transgression has earned me this summons. But her eyes, as always, were shuttered, revealing nothing but that bottomless well of cruelty.
"Okay." The word fell leadenly from my lips as I turned away from Ellie's sneering figure. Ellie's parting murmur slithered after me, I did not quite heard her, and I refuse to knew what it was.
So I walked on in silence, back rigid. If she wanted a reaction, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Not today.
The distance stretched between us, her poisonous presence fading with every step. Only then did I release the breath I'd been holding, allowing my shoulders to slump ever so slightly.
Sister Felice— the cold matron who took charged of this bleak, joyless place. Unlike the vicious duo of Sister Anna and Ellie, she never laid a hand on me or scorn me directly. No, her cruelty was far more insidious.
While they rained down blows and barbed taunts, Sister Felice would turn a blind eyes, her lips pursed in a thin, disapproving line. As if the abuse unfolding before her was of no consequence, a mere trifle beneath her notice.
I often wondered if she derived some twisted satisfaction from it all—from watching others torment a helpless child while she feigned ignorance. Or perhaps she simply didn't care, her heart long since hardened to the suffering of orphans like myself.
Whatever the reason, her willful blindness was a special kind of torture. To know what the one person with the power to intervene, to put a stop to the relentless abuse, chose instead to look the other way—it carved a gaping wound in my soul.
And yet, I clung to the slip hope that she wouldn't cast me out entirely. That even this callous, unfeeling woman might spare me the world outside of the walls of the orphanage.
The heavy oak door loomed before me, its weathered surface seeming to my sneer at my tattered, mud-streak appearance. I raised a trembling fist and rapped my knuckled against the unyielding wood, the sound echoing hollowly in the drafty corridor.
Without awaiting a summons, I slipped inside Sister's Felice's austere chamber. Her cold eyes flicked over my disheveled form, her perpetually pinched expression betraying neither surprise nor censure. Just the same, infuriating indifference that had become as familiar as my own ragged breathing.
"Ruby." She intoned my name like a death knell as she returned her gaze to the parchment before her. "Our medical stores are depleted. You'll have to venture into the forest and replenish our supplies."
"Yes, Sister."