~
~Sirius~
I'll come right out and say it.
I've been pretty stupid. I've been so caught up in my delusions I failed to grasp the reality in front of me. I'm not on Earth anymore, and good riddance too. My parents aren't here. People from school aren't here. No one in this world knows me.
I don't need to pretend anymore. I don't need to put on that mask anymore. Obviously, I never HAD to, but... I've never known how else to act. When I first arrived in this world, I was so taken aback I forgot my own facade.
Over time it tried to take hold of me again, but I kept suppressing the need to put on that perfect face. I was doing so well, but when I started taking those classes... I fell apart. Or rather, I regained my missing false self.
I call it a facade, but really... I don't know who I am without it. My emotions have been out of tune for too long for me to know how to properly act in front of others. I struggle to make proper connections. Even after Korlin opened my eyes, I still can't see him as anything to me.
That sounds rude, I sort of feel bad for putting it that way. But alas, it is the truth. Hopefully, and I truly hope, over time we can develop a connection. I hope to call him a proper friend. A real friend.
I've always wanted one of those.
Man, that sounds pathetic.
Anyway, this is a fresh start for me. It's time to start my life over again. It's time to actually live.
While I'm not fully sure how... I'll try to become me. Maybe getting my memories back will help with that. I only pray we make it in time. That being said, I'm not entirely sure if there IS a time limit.
The stopwatch is counting down and when it reaches its final number I'll forget my last memory. That is to say, if I do lose all my memories, if we find the witch can she restore them? I hope I don't need to find out.
For now, I shouldn't worry about it. Right now, I have a more pressing matter. I need to apologize.
I asked Korlin to gather up the members of the house. Looking back, I was completely out of sorts. Even on Earth, that's not how I acted. I wasn't THAT bad, right? I hope not.
And so, I feel the need to apologize for acting so stupidly. My actions surely have caused them to think poorly of me, but I hope they'll at least listen to my plea. Is this even the right move? Is asking for forgiveness what I should be doing?
Oh no, I'm having second thoughts. This is why I don't make decisions.
Regardless, I already asked him to gather everyone. They seem to enjoy Korlin's presence, so no doubt they'll come since he asked. Pholy might not though, she seems to have mixed feelings about him. And me for that matter. Not to mention it is late...
I compose myself and prep to enter the meeting room. Technically it's the dining room but that's beside the point. No one eats together except for breakfast, and that's not even in this room. Oh gosh, breakfast tomorrow will be extremely awkward if I mess this up. Then again, it already was awkward before...
Breathe. Calm down. It's just talking. I can do that.
I step through the doorway and not to my surprise, everyone is here. Including Pholy, in fact, she is sitting right next to Korlin. Cute. Her eyelashes are on fire though...
To my surprise however is everyone's reaction to my entrance.
The lord is almost as exuberant as Korlin, he seems eager for me to speak. I have a slight suspicion Korlin told him what I plan to do. Aureole lights up like the moon, she is also quite eager. Cilas appeals with a great smile. Hyacinth's reaction isn't noteworthy by any means, she is her usual deadpan self with a faint touch of curiosity.
Wilphrey's reaction is the most surprising.
Over the course of the past couple of days, the old man has been rather stern. Technically, I think he's just been trying to push me to try my hardest in class, but he has come across as intolerable. Only when I did well did he soften and praise me. Which makes sense, I don't take praise very well anyway. It makes me feel awkward.
But right now, Wilphrey looks... apologetic. Not that I have a way of knowing, but I think my face looks pretty similar.
Our eyes meet. He inhales a deep breath and approaches me.
"Sirius."
His formality is what puts me on edge. Am I about to be smacked or hugged?
"Y-yes?" I maintain eye contact, but it is immensely difficult. I haven't spoken since parting ways with Korlin earlier so my throat is rather dry.
"I'm sorry."
Now this, I was not expecting. What is he apologizing for?? Seeing him bow down before me fills me with a sense of guilt.
"Huh- I should be the one apologizing-"
"No. I saw you in turmoil and failed to act properly upon it. Instead, I exploited your fragility and pushed you regardless."
"What are you talking about?"
"I used your distress to advance your teachings. Instead of giving you the correct care, I foolishly brought your academics to the forefront of my thoughts."
Wow... I would never have guessed. I can't say I blame him for choosing that course of action, I was in desperate need of correction. His methods did help me learn how to write and read better. I should almost thank him for doing that... but that probably isn't the best option here.
"It's alright. You helped advance my learning. Don't beat yourself up over it."
I pat him on the shoulders and tell him to lift his head. It's clear he feels really bad about this, but I don't want him to dwell on it. Is what he did a little messed up? Yes, but maybe that's just how he was taught. I'd have to ask him later, now is not the time.
He returns my gesture with one of the same. His ancient hands place themselves on my shoulders. For some reason, the feeling is familiar. I don't know where or when I've felt this before, but the presence of his hands resonates like an old dream.
Strange.
Wiping the thought away, I meet his hazel eyes once more and we share a smile.
"Do you think ill of me?"
"Of course not, I hold no such grudge."
He lowers his head once more then leaves my bubble and returns to his seat. I feel like something really important just happened. Like a bond between me and that old man just strengthened. It feels... nice?
I realize that everyone in the room had been watching the entire exchange. Embarrassment creeps its way to the back of my brain. Man, now I'm nervous again. Oh well, push through, me.
Clearing my dry throat, I begin with a formal greeting. "Hello." Immediately upon the word leaving my mouth, a sense of stupidity rushes through me. Come on, that is what I should NOT be doing. Be casual. Say what feels natural. Leave the formalities behind.
"Sorry," I start over. "I realize I've been acting really weird lately. I'm sure some of you have felt concerned, and I apologize. I've been stressed lately and regressed to how I lived before I came to this world. I didn't mean to cause you any trouble."
I bow and realize that was immensely formal. I almost sound like Wilphrey, his vocabulary is insane.
"Sorry, was that too formal?"
Despite my worries, everyone looks relieved. Even Hyacinth has a hidden grin.
"A little bit," Pholy leads the mood into a lighthearted one. I respond with a subtle laugh.
"I'm glad to see you're better," Cilas says. I haven't really seen much of him outside of classes, but he is glad nonetheless.
"Good to see you're back to normal." Normal, huh? I guess the lord saw my previous-previous actions as my normal. I guess I'm acting the same now? I hope that's okay.
"Welcome back, Sirius."
Aureole shines brighter than any moon I've ever seen. With the night in full effect, her eyes reflect the pale body.
"Thank you," I direct my gratitude to her, but I truly mean it to everyone. Something about her just absorbs my attention.
Korlin throws a thumbs-up my way and I shoot one back. He's a great guy. At first, I thought he was a little... special. That's probably not the right wording but whatever. But now I see he's a genuine guy, who is overly excited about being in a new world. And I wouldn't have him any other way. Strange as it is, I feel blessed to have met him. To have met everyone here.
I never thought I'd think that. How things change...
After the initial apologizing and reconciling, Cilas presents everyone with a fantastic supper. Apparently, me snapping out of my mental state warrants a celebration. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I mean, I've only known these people for a week or so and they are glad to see me like this. Aren't they being a little too supportive?
I have my suspicions that Korlin arranged everything. Regardless, I try to enjoy myself. I sit beside Aureole, and we chat the night away. Pholy and Korlin banter with Hyacinth mediating. The lord is surprisingly a youthful spirit, from what I can tell he does look young under that blindfold, but it is still unexpected.
It took me a while to realize the lord was drunk, or tipsy at the very least. Alcohol seems to exist in this world, but that isn't too surprising considering things like "love hotels" exist. Cilas drinks along with Rawlin, but Wilphrey doesn't participate. He seems more than content to converse sober with all of us. What a wholesome man, who would have thought he'd emotionally manipulate me? Man, that sounds rough spelling it out like that. Still, I hold no grudge against him.
As the night flies by, for the first time since coming to this world...
For the first time in forever...
I feel like I belong somewhere. Like it was fate I be here. If dying is what it took to obtain this, so be it. Thank you, witch. I'll make sure to thank you when I find you. Even if I can't get back my memories... I'll still thank you. You gave me everything.
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
The next morning proceeds around midday. Everyone besides the two old workers slept in till what is this world's noon. I'm so glad my classes don't have a set schedule...
I enter the breakfast area and place my head in my arms. The island's counter is cool against my forehead.
Cilas is cooking something, and it smells heavenly.
With my head still down, slender fingers run through my bedhead. I know these hands.
"Good morning," Aureole yawns and pets my head. Why? Don't know, don't care. It feels nice, I don't want her to stop.
"You got out the "morning" today."
She giggles and lays her head down next to mine. I turn my head in her direction and find her staring directly at me. Our hair mingles together. Our faces are so close. If I lean in, we could melt together.
Her eyes are tired, but joy-filled. She's smiling at me, and I'm smiling at her. I don't know what this feeling is, but I think I could become obsessed with it.
Breaking us away from our absorption, Cilas taps our heads with food-stuffed plates.
"Eat up you two," he says with a carefree smirk.
We do as we are told. We chat about random things and slowly more people join in. Korlin drags Pholy into the room and places her in a seat. We all laugh and enjoy ourselves. The lord arrives and takes note of this saying something along the lines of: "Aren't you all rowdy for it being this early?" To be honest, I wasn't listening to him. Also, it's the afternoon and he's hungover so I kind of ignored him. I don't have anything against him but, being around these three is much more engaging.
I wonder if Hyacinth would join us... maybe I'll invite her next time.
"I'm glad you're back to being you," Aureole says amidst Korlin and Pholy's bickering.
"Mm, thank you." While I wouldn't call this being "me" I still appreciate the sentiment. It's obvious now that people prefer me this way than trying to be someone I'm not. It's relieving.
"Remember though," she pokes me. "You can always talk to me, okay?"
"I know, sorry for not doing it earlier."
"As long as you know," she gleefully smiles. "And I'll do the same, alright?"
My mouth curves upwards on its own.
"Of course. Anytime you want."
It's reassuring. I don't need to bottle everything up. These people will listen to me if I have a problem. She will at least, and that's more than enough. Of course, I can't share everything with them, but for the fixable things... I'll try and let her know.
Classes go smoothly. I find myself paying attention at my own will and intrigue. Korlin was right, it isn't too hard to grasp if I pay attention. I'm learning much more quickly than before, I guess Wilphrey's methods were truly wrong after all.
Cilas' classes go just as well. In fact, history is actually more interesting than I originally thought. Maybe it's because it's a different world, but some of this stuff is fascinating. Correction, all of it is fascinating. For example:
687 years ago, was the beginning of the Great Giant War.
In brief, the giants were a race of massive, stone-skinned people who stood the height of fully grown trees. The giants originated from the northernmost country of Stonemarsh. While it is unclear how, the giants obtained the power to halt the flow of time entirely.
The giants were a race with short lifespans. So, with their newfound power, they could live for eternity. But, as a result, nothing could grow or die. The world stood stagnant, unable to continue turning. The stars halted their movements, and half of the world was shrouded in endless night.
To combat the giant's plot, countries from across the world united together. Lunalir, Mauvkin, Alsi, the entire Klephoral continent, the southern countries of Epira, etc. Few countries remained neutral and of course, some countries such as Kaarangdi and Blasphem banded with the giants. The result was a war spanning thirteen years.
When the war stood at a never-ending halt, a savior from the time-freeing side stepped forward.
Arius, Scholar of Everlas. Everlas is the supposed name of The Goddess of Time who watches over the flow of time itself. Arius is said to be a war orphan who singlehandedly brought an end to the war. He was a genius.
He invented the Time Wheel, a device capable of altering the flow of time itself. When the wheel was put in action, the giants panicked, and in a desperate attempt to destroy the wheel, the giants ended up leaving themselves vulnerable.
Now, Stonemarsh stands as a wasteland filled with the corpses of felled giants. They say the snow there is actually the ashes of their crumbling bodies.
The end of the war marked a new age. Henceforth, the current year is 674 in the Aru era.
Cilas went into more depth, but my attention span still has its limits.
After classes finish up, Korlin drags me along to see Pholy. His crush is so obvious, but I will admit... it's kind of cute.
"Why am I coming with?" It's his crush, I don't want to intrude if he wants alone time to get to know her. But then again, he could be nervous.
"I need you to drag me out in case she lights me on fire."
Yeah, who am I kidding? He doesn't get nervous.
"Right..."
I don't walk and instead, just have him slide me down the hall. I feel a little childish, but hey, I'm supposed to do what I want, yeah?
Suddenly, I am dropped and fall onto my butt.
"Hyacinth, hi, how are you doing?" Korlin is overly polite. This is just my suspicion, but I think he's been trying to get Hyacinth to be friends with him so Pholy will like him better. I guess I'll see how this tactic plays out for him.
"...Hi."
She doesn't even answer his question. Her deadpan voice expresses zero emotion, yet it still sounds faintly sweet, relaxing. I think she's fed up with him. Annoyed at the very least.
"I've been meaning to ask... can I call you Cinth?"
Oh no.
"Uh... sure? Why?"
"So, I can just be like," he repositions himself and puts on a majestic look. "Hiya, Cinth."
................................
Silence.
Hyacinth is dumbfounded by his suggestion.
"Do you get it?" Korlin tries to justify it. "It's a pun on how your name sounds similar to-"
"Drop dead."
"I'm sorry."
Safe to say, he will not be calling her "Cinth."
Come to think of it, her name is the same as a flower back on Earth. Does that flower still exist here? I suppose I'll find out in time.
Korlin meanders on past her, leaving me behind, but it is nice to know he does feel embarrassment. If that's even what he's feeling. Can never be too sure.
Now alone with Hyacinth, I don't know what to say. The last time we spoke alone was when she broke into my room and stole pages from my journal. I do wonder what she plans to do with them, and what she meant by "You and I are more alike than I thought." But this doesn't feel like the right time to ask.
"I should apologize," her tone is softspoken once again, much more relaxed than with Korlin. Am I getting special treatment or something?
"For what?"
I can't think of anything she could apologize for, except barging into my room. Even if she was snooping around, I have nothing to hide in there. Besides, her snooping was fully justified, I was being unsettling.
"I misjudged you."
Oh?
"How so?"
"..." I don't think she wants to answer. That or she is having a hard time saying it. "I thought you might be a spy here to threaten Aureole's campaign. But it's clear to me now that you're not."
"O-oh..." That hadn't even crossed my mind. Of course, that's a reasonable fear to have. I, a random guy, entering into the midst of a royal election and a candidate's home. Suspicion is only natural.
She doesn't look like she's done giving her thoughts. Is there more to it?
"You were overwhelmed and instead of trying to understand how you felt, I cast my suspicions onto you. I apologize."
"It's alright, really. I admit I came off as a little suspicious." I present to her a smile and a quick laugh.
I was overwhelmed. So overwhelmed I relapsed back into my past self. But now, I feel like I'm settling into life here. Though once I tell the lord my decision, I'm sure that's to change.
"Did you do something with your hair?"
"Huh? Oh-" Man, I almost forgot I did that. My bangs are a little messed up, it isn't that noticeable unless you look closely. "I accidentally cut some of it off."
Still, she noticed that subtle of a change? How closely has she been observing me? Is she stalking me? No, certainly not. She doesn't seem like that kind of person. Then again, I'm not the best at reading people, that's obvious now.
"Okay. See you later."
Just like that, our conversation was over. I squeeze out a faint "Thank you" but I don't think she hears it.
She's a strange one, but something about me is drawn to her. Maybe we are alike, and I just don't realize it? Huh... I don't know.
Moving on, I catch up with Korlin who is waiting for me outside Pholy's room. I've more or less memorized the layout of the mansion and where all the rooms are.
"Finally," Korlin moans.
"Sorry. You ready?"
"Yes! I pray I don't need your assistance."
"Just don't be stupid and say something you shouldn't."
"Easier said than done. I lose all coherent thought around her."
"That's adorable."
"Quiet."
Korlin knocks on the door and opens it at the same time. He is privacy's greatest enemy.
In the back of the room, by the windowsill, Pholy kneels potting plants. Despite being a gardener, she has a lack of plants in her room, only a couple here and there.
"You do realize I could hear everything you were saying out there, right?"
Pholy casually mentions, not turning away from her craft.
"Ah..."
I think, just maybe, there's a bit of embarrassment there.
"What are you doing?" Korlin enters the room and approaches her. I stay back near the door, just in case. I don't think Pholy is unreasonable or particularly hotheaded as Aureole mentioned back in the carriage. As far as I'm concerned, she is a normal, ignitable, girl who is a victim of Korlin's teasing.
"I'm adding you both."
"What do you mean?" Korlin kneels down beside her. I step closer to get a better view. Along the windowsill are five potted plants on the right, and one all the way to the left.
Pholy sighs.
"All of these pots represent a person in my life. I figured since you two are going to be living here from now on, I should add you both."
Aw, that's cute.
The pots are short and compact. A small plant sprouts out from each of them, maybe as tall as a finger.
I can't tell from back here, but I think Korlin is smiling.
"Why are these ones colored differently?" He points to two pots that have a slightly lighter hue.
"Those are only for my close friends. Aure and Cinth." She flicks Korlin's hand away.
"Aw, are we not close enough?" He pouts jokingly. She groans and he immediately retreats. "I kid, I kid."
She sighs and loosely smiles. "Geez..."
"What about that one on the end?" He asks, referring to the lone pot in the corner.
"..." She hesitates to respond. Not quite solemnly, almost as if filled with nostalgia she replies: "...That's my mother."
"Oh..." Korlin restrains himself fully, entering the version of him that helped me. "Is she...?"
"No, she's not dead. I just haven't seen her for a long time."
"Ah..."
I wonder how my mom is doing right now...
I resisted death so long just so she wouldn't be sad... and I still went and died. Some son I turned out to be.
...
Agh, I shouldn't dwell on things like that, right? I mean, Canopus is the one who killed me, not myself. Canopus... Why did you really kill me? I know I wasn't the best brother, but murdering me?
We used to be buddies, just you and me against the world. I messed that up, I know. I'm sorry. Was I just that blind? I'm sorry I can't connect with others; I don't know how you felt.
Bonds are terrifying...
Pholy sighs once more. "Anyways," she turns around to face me. "I'm glad to see you're doing better."
"Thank you," it still feels weird hearing that. I feel slightly pathetic for being told that. "Now I can help keep him tame for you."
"I appreciate it," she rolls with it. "Though, if he ever gets out of hand..." She ignites her palm into a pink blaze.
"It's not my fault you're so easy to tease-" Korlin is interrupted by Pholy blowing part of her flames into his face.
"Ow."
Pholy giggles and then returns to potting our plants. She marks both mine and Korlin's pots with different symbols, likely to know who is who. She finishes up and places our pots to the right of Aureole and Hyacinth's special pots. I'm not certain, but I feel the closer you are to the middle of the window, the more she values you.
If so, the hierarchy goes: Aureole and Hyacinth > Korlin and I > Cilas, Wilphrey, and Rawlin
Personally, I don't feel I've talked with Pholy that much, so it's strange to me that I count as someone in her life. It's even more strange that I'm ranked higher than the lord and butlers. Maybe we are closer than I think?
It's unfortunate. I wish I could bring myself to care about someone. Maybe then I could consider someone a "friend." Until then, this feeling will remain foreign.
Regardless, I can't stop myself from smiling. I've been doing it so much recently. Real, genuine smiles... So many oddities.
Rawlin calls me to his study. I have a pretty good idea of what he wants to talk about. I want to talk about it too.
His hungover in the past, he greets me in the same fashion as before. Rolling across bookshelves and sliding down ladders. I have to say, it looks like it could be fun. This "study" is basically a jungle gym disguised as a library. There's not even a book in his mouth this time, I wonder if he's just playing on the ladder. I wouldn't blame him.
Korlin enters shortly after me. With all of us present, the lord takes his seat behind the desk. There is an empty look on the lord. Not one filled with grief or pain, but a deep longing for something. From his mouth protrudes a smile, but without eyes, I can't tell what emotion is there. He's impossible to read. Yet, I feel like he already knows how this conversation will end.
"Shall we get straight to the point? Or do you have anything to add beforehand?" He looks directly in Korlin's direction. I still can't tell if he can see or if he has some crazy echolocation.
"What is that supposed to mean??"
"Mm," ignoring Korlin's question the lord begins. "I take it you've made your choice?"
"I have," I respond firmly. That feels so weird to say. I'll have to get used to it.
"And? Will you join me in finding the witch?" He grins as if he doesn't already know the answer.
I steel myself. This is a statement I cannot retract. But it's like he said before... there is no going back to my old world. This is where my life lies now. I can't return, so if I want to know anything about that place, I'll need to keep my memories. Stagnation has consequence in this matter, as it does in all.
"I'll do it. I'll try and keep my memories."
As I say those fateful words, my body tingles. It's a strange feeling, but I welcome it.
Rawlin smirks, looking fully satisfied with my response and himself. "I'm glad to hear it."
Korlin playfully punches my shoulder. We share a look even a blind person could see as the start of a blossoming bromance. Or at least I think so, I've never had one before.
"I'm sure Aureole will also be pleased with your decision," the lord adds on.
"By the way," I decide to question the man. "Your aim is to make her the ruler, right?"
"...Certainly."
He's hesitant. There is some other goal he has in mind, I'm sure. But, as far as I'm concerned, that's alright. He's given me a place to stay and eat. What are a few lies next to that?
"Well, then I'll do whatever I can to help her. I owe her a lot; this will be part of my recompense."
The lord's grin widens, something I said made him very excited.
"Driven, are we? I'm sure you understand your place though, correct? You are a Witch Spawn, your meddling in her political affairs could damage her reputation."
"Err," I hadn't thought of that.
"Don't lose face. As long as you remain out of the spotlight, there are many ways you can be of assistance to her. Besides, she has emotionally opened up to you, has she not? I'm sure when she eventually loses heart again, you can be there to pick up the pieces."
How does he know about our heart-to-hearts? Has she lost heart before? She did tell me this lifestyle was draining... The way he said it though, he sounds like he doesn't have faith in her at all. Like he knows she'll crumble under the pressure.
"I'll do what I can. I'll help her take the throne and keep my memories while I'm at it."
"Good," he drums on the desk and rises to his feet. "Well then, when I find any information, I'll let you know. In the meantime, get comfortable. There is much you still don't know, I'm sure. Continue your classes with Wilphrey and Cilas. Take time to learn proper slang and etiquette, maybe study up on Lunalir's government... I'm sure in the future it will do you good, considering this path you're heading down."
"I will," I eagerly agree. "Do you want help reading through these books? There's a lot of them..."
"No. That's quite alright. Besides, you can hardly read as it is."
"Fair enough," we share a short-lived chuckle.
"I take it you will join us?" Rawlin speaks to Korlin directly. I almost forgot he was there. He always gets quiet around the lord.
"Absolutely! I want to help out however I can!" He immediately enters the conversation with no friction.
"Good-"
"On one condition!" His shoe pounds the wooden floor. His dramatic display silences the room.
"...That being what, exactly?"
I have a guess...
"Teach me magic," he snaps his fingers, pulling off another majestic look on his face. It feels like he has practiced that exact line and pose many times. Knowing him, he probably did.
Rawlin humors him with a pathetic laugh. "Very well, I'll ask Wilphrey to make room in his schedule for lessons on blessings."
"REALLY?!" Korlin is overjoyed. I brace myself for the inevitable shaking I'm about to receive. As if on cue, he starts to shake me. "Did you hear that, Sirius?! I'm going to learn magic!"
"Ya-yay," I hardly manage to squeeze it out. I don't get motion sickness or anything, but this guy's rattling could stir up anyone's stomach.
"Oh, I almost forgot." The lord takes two tied bags out from the inside of his shirt. He walks up and dangles them in front of us. "I don't want you two thinking I'm a bad employer."
Dropping a tiny bag in each of our palms, we both open them at the same time. Inside is a mix of brightly colored gems. Nem.
"Money!" Korlin jumps up and down, I step back to not be shaken again.
Counting the gems, it appears my first paycheck is 225 nem. Two purples, two reds, and a blue. Damn. That's roughly half of my medical bill when my arm was mangled. Come to think of it, medical treatment likely isn't a major issue in this world.
I take it the magic the man used on me in the clinic was a blessing. In that case, as long as you know a healing blessing, you have your own free healthcare. Of course, I don't know the extent of healing blessings, maybe that was the only one. I don't know if they can cure diseases or not.
Either way, the medical business in this world probably isn't very profitable. Unless not everyone can use blessings, in which case I hope Korlin is able to. Otherwise, he might do something rash, and I won't know how to deal with it.
Moving on from the medical industry, counting this with my previously attained nem... I now have 427 nem to my name. Is that a lot? No idea. But what I do know is that this is more money than I ever had on Earth.
Being employed is nice, huh? I really should have done more with my life...
I express my gratitude with a "Thank you."
"Don't mention it, you work under me now."
Feels weird to hear...
"Alright, I'll see you later." I start to make my leave with Korlin trailing close behind, skipping like the dork he is.
"Just remember," a step before the doorframe, the lord stops me in my tracks. "While your end goal may be to regain your memories and make Aureole the ruler, don't think your desires override my own."
"..."
His words are haunting.
"I will stop at nothing to fulfill my wish. My life has led me down this path and I will stop at nothing to see it through." His resolve is clear. He pauses, gathering his thoughts into a final statement. "We will track her down, and with my own two hands...
I will kill the witch."
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
I decide to clean up my room. Cilas was kind enough to lay more new clothes out for me. I have a whole closet full now, my amputated hoodie is settled in the back. I don't want to wear it anymore. I've worn it long enough.
Besides if Gary, the man, ever needs more wool, I should know where to find it. I wonder how he's doing... Next time I'm in the capital I'll make sure to drop by.
I'm not sure what to do about the mirror. Why did I draw a smiley face?! I did have one on the mirror at my mom's house, but that was tiny and off to the side. This one is smack-dab in the middle of the mirror and can fit my whole head in it.
Why do I always do things I regret?
Well, I have a free smile practice station... I guess. Man, I hope no one ever goes in there. I'll look insane.
Rummaging through my desk, I find my watch. I stuffed it in there after Hyacinth left my room, I didn't want to see it anymore.
Taking a closer look at the watch, it's beautifully designed. If Timekeeper made this, he needs to make crafting watches his new hobby. The chiseled second and hour hands tick hauntingly by. I call it an hour hand, but it's more of a "rough judgment" of what part of the day it is. Right now, it sits comfortably between the blooming and wilting time of day. Afternoon, basically.
It's not that complicated... but it's taking a while for me to get used to it.
So much to learn...
I turn the watch around and stare at the timer.
22222883 seconds remain.
Every time I look at the countdown, dread takes hold of my heart. If I don't find the witch in time, I'll lose my memories for good. What will I be like if that happens? I don't want to think of it. It just means I can't mess anything up. I need to do my part when it comes.
No pressure, me.
In a fleeting moment, I decide to keep the watch on me. If I keep it stuffed away, I might lose sight of what I'm trying to do. I need a reminder of what my purpose is. What I've decided to do with my life.
So, from here on out, it shall stay with me. In my pocket.
...Maybe I need to keep it more secure.
Well, now I have something to do. I run around until I find a very long string. It's brown and slightly ragged, but I think it will do. I tie the string around both the side buttons, as they do nothing. Unless I'm missing something, I'm fairly sure those buttons are useless. If I ever see Timekeeper again, I'll ask him what they're for.
Snuggly fit, I swing the watch around in a circle with the string. Besides feeling stupid, it works, and it doesn't come undone. So, I put the watch back in my pocket and wrap the other side of the string around my wrist.
Now, if it slips out of my pocket, it will stay attached to my wrist. Perfectly secure. Thankfully, the string is very long so I can use the full extent of my wingspan without the watch popping out of my pants.
I start heading back up to my room, but I'm stopped in my tracks.
Distant coughing.
Where have I heard this before?
I follow the sound of someone hacking. It sounds painful.
I'm led to a cracked open door, which from my accumulated mansion knowledge, is Aureole's room. That's right... back in the wagon, she was coughing. It sounded just like this. She brushed it off as a simple cough, but it has to be more than that.
I don't know if this is the right move, but I knock on the door.
She goes quiet.
"Are you alright?" I lean my head against the doorframe, and despite my curiosity, I don't peek in.
She coughs a couple more times and then responds meekly.
"You can come in."
I feel silly. I obey and sneak into the room. She sits on the floor, leaning against her bedframe. The desk in her room is piled with papers, stray ones are scattered across the room. My footsteps are quiet, so I'm not sure if she's noticed my entrance. A weak cough escapes her throat, right into her sleeve.
A bloodstain.
It's only a tiny amount but drops of blood stain her sleeve. She really is sick.
Noticing my presence, she swiftly hides the red-colored arm behind her. I should probably lighten her sullied mood.
"Just happens sometimes, my ass."
She grumbles and laughs at the same time. "I may have lied a teensy bit."
"So, what is it?" I sit down beside her; she gives up trying to hide her arm. We told each other we'd talk if something is troubling us. This is one of those moments, right? "I don't know much about diseases in this world."
"I don't know what it is..." melancholy comes forth. "Ever since I was a child... I get these coughing fits. And sometimes..." her face sours.
"What happens?"
"I have these... episodes."
"Episodes? Like depressive ones?"
"No, more... angry. I get these outbursts of anger and start to lash out. I say things I shouldn't, I do things I'm not supposed to..." her hands tremble like she's about to cry. Her head hangs low, eyes shut to suppress emotions.
"..."
I can't think of words to say. All I can do is place my hands onto hers.
She seems to relax a little bit.
"Even if I do become queen... I don't know if I can stop those outbursts from happening. It's... frightening."
"Are there any triggers that cause them? Any signs beforehand?"
"No... one moment I'm me and then the next..." She lifts her head and takes in a deep breath. "Sorry, I'm not easy to work with."
"That's okay. I'm not either."
We share a giggle.
"Is it alright if we stop for now? I don't like talking about it."
I feel kind of bad. She tried so hard to help me, and did, but I can't do much for her. Just another reason I need to make her queen. I need to give her something.
"Mm."
"Seriously though, don't worry about it. I'm alright. They only last for a couple of seconds anyway," she attempts to be smug.
"Aren't you tough?" I return her smugness with my own.
We glare at each then break into a laugh. I may just be imagining it, or do we get along fantastically?
We chat for a while longer. She asks about the string on my wrist, and I show her what I concocted. She tells me she's impressed, but it doesn't sound reassuring. We come to the conclusion I should hide the string. So, I redo it so that the string runs under my clothes and then connects to my wrist. Now it is hidden, and even more secure. Teamwork, baby.
"So, have you talked with Rawlin?"
"Mm, I decided to join him in finding the witch."
"Finding the witch?!"
Oh right... she didn't know what he was doing.
"Ha... yeah, apparently the lord needed witch spawn so he could have help hunting down the witch."
"Oh... why?"
"If he kills the witch and has you take credit for it, you'll be guaranteed to win the election."
"Oh..." she looks somewhat disappointed. "And your memories?"
She promptly changes the subject away from her again. She must really not like this "royal" lifestyle. That, or she doesn't like to talk about herself. I can understand that.
"He says if we find the witch, I can keep my memories."
"That's great!" She seems genuinely happy for me. Huh...
"I guess so..."
"Hm..." suspicion casts over her. "Do you want to keep your memories?"
How many times have I been asked that? I do want to. I will.
"I do."
"Didn't you say you hated your past life? Why do you want to?"
"That... I don't know."
"Hmm."
We chat a little longer about more random topics, mostly including Korlin and Pholy. Yes, we gossip about them.
"Well," she sighs. "I should probably go back to studying."
"Boo," I comment. "I need to do the same."
"Good luck to you, sir."
"Good luck to you as well, madam."
She giggles cutely and I make my leave.
⧗⧖⧗⧖⧗
Life is strange. Wild.
A little over a week ago, I was wasting away in a hospital bed. Now, I'm living in a mansion with a bunch of weirdos. I am included in that list, obviously.
It's hard to grasp when I really think about it. In such a short timeframe my life took a complete turn. I mean, I did literally die. Nightmares of that moment still plague me when I sleep, but other than those, the obvious trauma seems to have subsided.
I've met so many people. So many good people who are kind to me. I can't thank them enough for giving me a chance, and for helping me change myself.
Of course, not everyone I've met has been kind. The people of the city, shouting at me for simply being human... To be fair, the people of Mirgaia are rightly fearful of us. I've noticed most inhabitants of this world very rarely use the term "human." It's likely not a word they are taught. Mostly, it is only fellow humans who call other humans "human."
The members of the house have been slowly strafing away from using "Witch Spawn." It never bothered me too badly, but it is still appreciated. Though, they still slip up every now and again. Namely, Pholy, but I think she's just messing with Korlin and me.
But through all the kindness, one act of unkindness stands above all.
That man...
That man with the crimson eyes...
I still don't know what that was about. At that moment, all I felt was unrelenting fear. I don't feel terrified looking back on the encounter, strange enough. It's like his presence in person is what scares me.
I remember he told me... that I don't belong here.
Maybe he's right. Like he said, I died for a reason. But, even if that's true...
The witch gave me a second chance. A chance to actually live a life.
I can't waste this one. If not for mine, then for the witch's sake.
Is the witch really as evil as people say? She seemed so sweet to me... Is it really okay to kill her? I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
...A new world, huh?
So many new concepts and cultures. So many things I have to learn.
I'm not on Earth anymore. My parents aren't here. People from school aren't here. This is a fresh start. I don't have to hide behind that facade anymore. Here, I can try and be my own person.
While I'm not fully sure how yet... I'll try to become me. Maybe getting my memories back will help with that.
In the past, I couldn't make a single decision for myself. Mindlessly doing whatever people wanted of me, without a single thought of what I wanted myself. Because I didn't know what I wanted. But now...
I decided something for the first time in my life. I made a choice and one that I can be proud of. I know what I want now. No matter what it takes, I'll save my memories.
I'm a hostage to my own indecisiveness. I can't promise I'll make the right calls; I don't know if my goal is even reachable, but even so...
With enough luck and effort, I might just be able to pull through.
Choices matter. Without them, we wither and break. We stay stagnant and resist change. Change can be hard. Terrifyingly so. But staying the same for too long is even scarier.
I waited and waited for my life to change without ever trying to make it myself. I was scared. I still am. But they showed me... that's alright. Because I did change. Because I broke free from my bonds, I have people I can talk to. I have people who want to listen. Who want to help me. For the first time in my life, I can say I made a change. And I'll continue to make them. They might not all turn out as good as this change did, but at least I can say I tried.
I have a destination. That's more than my past self can say.
I made my decision.
May time be on my side...
22222498 seconds remain.
-End-