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A dream, I saw a dream.
A dream that wouldn't fade, a dream that kept repeating, a dream with no end, a dream that wouldn't end――
Over and over again, many many times over, repeating mistakes over and over, correcting them more and more. 1000 times, spinning. 10,000 times, connecting. 100 million times, overcoming them. And before knowing it, losing count.
Agony, terror, turbidity, ruin, hatred, madness.
Exhausted, shaken, twisted, corrupted, contorted, decayed, anguished; a heart smashed to pieces.
And yet, there was still a place I wanted to reach.
And yet, there was still a wish I wanted to protect.
Even if no one knew about the endless tragedies that repeated over and over, I will not forget. Even if no one notices, only I am unable to forget.
――Even if the people I want to save wept, I still want to save them.
So, even now, I don't regret having taken that hand. If there is something I regret, it would be that I was hesitant and indecisive in taking her hand, and the frustration towards my own weak, fragile heart that I couldn't steel.
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――Waking up from the empty dream, the first thing he always felt was a throbbing headache.
[Subaru: …]
Opening his eyes, trying to stave off his sleepiness, he blinked rapidly in an attempt to wake himself up. Though his consciousness hung in a bleary haze, his sluggishness only lasted for a few seconds. Immediately after his consciousness came to from his sleep, his waking brought energy back into his body.
[Subaru: Ah, Aaah]
In contrast to his body being awake, all that escaped from his mouth was a dullish voice. At a glimpse, it seemed like he was still half-asleep, but this was one of the most important rituals he did in the morning. By lying on his back with his head up whilst he let out that voice in that manner, a lot of information could be conveyed through to him.
The tone of his voice, the establishment of consciousness, the safety of his limbs, sorting his thoughts out, what he'll do today, and the existence of his life――
He made sure to undertake each of these actions every morning.
This was the proof that Natsuki Subaru had reached the morning without making any grave mistakes.
[Subaru: *yawn*]
Taking off his blankets as he yawned, he lifted his body up, swivelling his feet down off of the bed. He roughly scratched his head as he looked around the room he was in. It was a room he had become used to seeing―― it was luxuriously furnished, and included a canopy bed in the room in which he entered from. But, where Subaru had woken up was not the canopy bed, but rather a sofa placed further within the room. He passed the nights as of late there, wrapped up in a futon, curled up into a ball.
――Actually, no, this had been a bedtime habit of Natsuki Subaru's in these years.
Be as it may, there wasn't any big reason for him not to sleep in his bed. It was just that he'd end up labouring to try and prepare the environment so that it'd be as comfortable to sleep in as possible. As a result of trial and error, he had learnt that he felt more comfortable by lying down and sleeping on the sofa than sleeping in a bed. And ever since, he'd kept doing that. That's all there was to it.
[Subaru: …]
Rubbing his eyes, Subaru got off from the sofa that he had made into a bed and went to the bathroom so he could get dressed. As he washed his face in the bathroom that was adjacent to his bedroom, he deliberately looked at his soaked face reflected in the mirror. His face looked tired, and gave the impression that he was about to collapse. His face looked frayed with dejection. These three things sapped at his morale.
In an attempt to stiffen that expression, Subaru clapped his face with both hands using all of his strength. A dry sound accompanied the tears that welled up; in order to wash away them, Subaru poured cold water onto his face. Once again, he looked at his wet face in the mirror. And whilst carefully kneading his face, eyes and cheeks, he said,
[Subaru: Smile…you gotta smile, if you can't, then… die.]
Chanting this incantation, Subaru bent his mouth into a terrible, crooked smile. He flashed his white teeth, his smile narrowing his eyes so the whites weren't visible all around anymore. His own countenance was like that of a villain's he had been friends with for a bit more than 18 years. He could camouflage his eyes, his facial expression, and his countenance with no issues.
[Subaru: Oookay, okay. Keep it like this.]
After checking his smile, Subaru dried his face with a towel and hurriedly changed into his clothes. When he spent time at the Mansion, Subaru's appearance was not garbed in a servant's uniform… rather, he wore the formal attire of a noble. Even if he took off his jacket, he would keep snug in a casual white shirt with its sleeves rolled up. However, such appearances were now naturally required. They were quite stuffy, but he really couldn't do anything about it. He was obligated to have an appearance appropriate to his position, because it was the position Subaru himself wanted.
[Subaru: Soon it'll be the usual time.]
Straight after he had changed into his clothes, he looked up to the Magic Hour Crystal that had been furnished above the room's door. It had a dark green hue, signifying that it was morning. It showed that his time for getting out of bed was soon. In some way, it seemed like this morning he had spent just a little bit too much time in practising his smile. In a few minutes, a punctual girl would knock on his door as scheduled. Before that, he needed to finish everything he hadn't done yet.
[Subaru: …]
Shifting his attention, Subaru unbuttoned his shirt down. There, attached by a thin chain was a pendant fastened to the "Black Crystal" which he never removed, even when sleeping. A mysterious, sparkling black crystal. Squeezing it in the palm of his hand, Subaru closed his eyes. The crystal stone was cold and hard to the touch―― when it tucked into the palm of Subaru's hand, its presence grew stronger as if firing up; it started to pulse as if it was a living thing.
Naturally, he started to unconsciously count its strange beat's rhythm and frequency as it rested in his palm.
With a stronger beat as it reached its full power, the crystal stone's beat grew stronger, and faster. Without even realising it, its pulse perfectly overlapped with the pulse of Subaru's own heartbeat, until the beat of his heart and the beat of the crystal jewel became equal. When his mind realised that, Subaru's consciousness was released from the yoke of his body and was invited to another area which could not by any means be real.
And in that moment, there were no sounds or signs from the world; instead, a dazzling light enveloped his consciousness.
[Subaru: …]
His consciousness that was formed by the light was slowly guided to his awakening. Sunshine pierced into his eyes when he opened his closed eyelids. What he saw in front of him as he blinked his eyes was a beautiful grassy plain with the wind blowing through it.
It was a vast green plain which spread out as far as the eyes could see. The sea of grass stretched on and on further than his eyes could see. Short blades of grass gently swayed in the breeze. Up overheard, the sky was clear with not even a wisp of cloud present. The sunshine glistened like a gemstone. The blue of the sky and the green of the earth went on forevermore, up until they hazily intersected in the distant horizon. It was appropriate of a dreamworld that lacked any semblance of reality; there was a certain stillness there that seemed eternal.
Splendid, perfectly clear, empty space. ――There was just one part that was different to that in this world.
[Subaru: …..]
Right at the heart of the plain, when Subaru stood there and looked back, there was a gently sloping hill immediately behind which continued to form the shape of a slightly elevated hillock. Up on the hillock, there was a modest garden full of flowers. Right next to those beautiful flowers that were basking in the sun, was a parasol and a white table.
Without speaking even a word, Subaru climbed up the hill, and squeezed himself under the parasol. Steaming cups had been placed on the white table, their ceramic interiors filled with a warm, amber liquid. Two cups had been set upon the table, and a white chair had been left set next to the table.
Since she had prepared it for him, Subaru sat down on the chair without confirming it. Though the tea had just recently finished brewing, he held the cup to his mouth, wetting his throat with its amber goodness.
――As always, it was an unusual tea which tasted neither delicious nor unappetising.
Nevertheless, without fail, he always drank this tea from the moment he sat down. It had been an agreement he'd made with the mistress of this place, the tea was a substitute for introductions in their strange relationship. Even so,
Subaru: [Ah, I drank it, I drank it, thanks for the drink. Alright, let's quickly move onto the main subject.]
???: [Of course, I did say that the first sip worked as a greeting. However, I don't think that means that you shouldn't ever give me a simple hello, mhm?]
Finishing his tea, Subaru placed his cup back on the table with these few words. And to what he had said, the one who sat opposite to him at the table gave him a weak smile, whilst voicing out her complaint. Receiving her complaint, Subaru scratched the tip of his nose whilst saying:
[Subaru: …There's no real reason to greet you, is there? After all, since you're prying inside my head day and night, there's no meaning in saying hello or goodbye to you.]
[???: This and that are different matters, you know? First of all, day and night, I'd like for you not to speak of it in such a scandalous manner. Even if it is true, even I am still a shy, young maiden girl, as delicate as a flower. Wouldn't my reputation become all the more worse if it became known that I am always staring into a boy's mind?]
[Subaru: A shy, young maiden girl as delicate as a flower… Did the meaning of those words change without me noticing?]
[???: How scathing of you. Well, maybe it is unreasonable at my age to insist on calling myself that.]
Saying that, the girl relaxed her mouth into a smile; quite in contrast to the contents of her complaints. Completely used to these sorts of exchanges, the girl was quite tolerant towards Subaru's impolite behaviour―― Or rather, it seemed as if she was enjoying herself exchanging these sorts of conversations with him.
Subaru's heart cannot help but feel the distorted feelings of guilt in his heart intensify when seeing that smile. In any case, he doesn't know which way of acting is the right one. Only with the person right in front of his eyes, can he find the optimal solution.
[Subaru: As I thought, you're such an unpleasant woman.]
[???: That makes me glad. For you, who is kind and greedy. Rather than being kind towards everyone, rather than being someone so apathetic who doesn't find any value in having others help him, I always take great delight in becoming someone who cruelly wounds your heart, or the unpleasant someone who lodges an immovable thorn in your heart.]
Neither sarcasm or irony worked against her. Before she had answered him, Subaru made quite an unpleasant face, but that only resulted in making her more pleased.
[???: Now then, any more of this and my heart will get pained for being hated and buying into your antipathy. Let's try and achieve what we set out to do for this morning's meeting now.]
[Subaru: You weren't hoping to be hated?]
[???: It was a girl's cute bluff, you know? This is what I want you to see and accept.]
[Subaru: Cute…?]
Subaru doubted this from the bottom of his heart. He leaned his head in doubt. As for his companion she merely gave a ironic smile. And then…,
[???: You're truly a man who never cowers down to anyone or anything. As the 『Witch of Greed』, I like that about you. ――Natsuki Subaru]
Suited to be a contractor, the『Witch of Greed』, Echidna narrowed her eyes with a sweet smile, a smile that rose from the depths of her heart.
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[Subaru: Today's the 14th of Kisdam...right?]
[Echidna: You can rest assured. You fell asleep last night without any issues, and you woke up this morning without anything eventful happening. The worst case scenario didn't happen whilst you were asleep overnight. So you don't have to worry, everything is okay.]
[Subaru: Those are foolish words. If I went to sleep thinking nothing eventful would happen, I'd end up waking up dead. I don't know when and where I'll die, or when it'll stop.]
Clicking his tongue at the optimism of the witch, Subaru recalled the desperate feeling of loss of his『Deaths』.
Without aim or direction, he had no doubt it could visit him even tomorrow―― When the fact is that he abruptly『Returns by Death』, deprived of it without any premonition. The fact is that the time he spends with people will be forgotten, the fear and despair that it had brung him would never be forgotten.
[Echidna: That's correct. I was being rash right now. My apologies for that.]
[Subaru: …Aren't you being terribly meek right now?]
[Echidna: I apologise if you thought of it as a bad thing. I am not that bad of a woman… even though I show myself like that.]
Seeing the discomfort in Subaru who had replied with hurt in his voice, the girl garbed in black gave him a wink as she said that. When talking to that girl, the first thing he noticed was how captivating her eyes are, and how her devilish beauty seems as if it would steal people's hearts.
It's amazing that just two colours express this beauty.
Long, beautiful white hair like snow cascaded down to her back, and her slender limbs are garbed in a black dress, typical of one seen when mourning. Sitting on her chair, her long legs were crossed together; a somewhat degenerate feeling floated around in that. On her thin lips that were drinking from her cup, there was a strangely arousing gloss to them.
She was a perverse, demonic figure that exuded a sensation of inescapable ruin and destruction were you to provoke her―― Regardless of this, there are anecdotes of those who have tried to approach this Witch of Calamity that brings about the end.
That was the identity of the white haired girl, who was completely garbed in black, Echidna. She, who had forged a contract with Subaru.
[Subaru: Hmmmm…..]
[Echidna: …? What's the matter? You're staring at my face. Do I have something on it?]
[Subaru: Aaah, just hair, and ears, and a mouth, and a nose, and eyes…]
[Echidna: …Hm why? Even if you're saying something completely obvious, I feel rather insulted.]
Echidna frowned, furrowing her eyebrows at Subaru's answer. Seeing that, Subaru lifted his hand up and said: [Waitwait,]
[Subaru: I didn't really mean to insult you. I was just thinking, that for someone who has the reputation of being a witch, I don't think you're that scary.]
Even if up until a moment ago she had expressed all kinds of degeneracy and perversions, in reality, she did have a few bad habits, but she was still an ordinary girl who you could even go as far as calling good-natured.
Of course, this doesn't deny that there were crooked, warped parts that were witch-like.
[Echidna: Hehe, that's quite an unusual opinion huh?]
Saying that, Echidna relaxed her lips, and gave a little smile upon hearing Subaru's thoughts. Placing her cup on the table, she shifted her long legs and fiddled with her long white hair.
[Echidna: Even though I might look like this right now, I was one of the witches that left behind such stories, in various places 400 years ago. Were you to catch me, that version of me was unpardonable.]
[Subaru: You're speaking like you're a middle schooler looking for special treatment.]
[Echidna: If we were to add from you to that then we'd be getting a lot closer to how I feel, wouldn't we. But, it isn't just that. I should have talked about this stuff when we first met.]
[Subaru: Ah… what was it you said…? Certainly, if you were a person without any tolerances, you would have vomited the first time you saw me…]
[Echidna: When you're cutting it down to just that, I feel that my nature is greatly misunderstood]
The majestic witch's appearance completely changed. Echidna looked annoyed hearing Subaru's answer. To that reply, Subaru replied suitably with [N-now now,] to deal with the shift in topic. Nonetheless, what they had spoke was enough for the morning routine.
[Subaru: It's not like us to delve down into idle gossip. I'll be going back to reality soon.]
[Echidna: Are you leaving already? Stay here a little more, no one will mind if you do so. As you know, the time you spend here does not affect reality. You can rest all the time you want… that's what I hope]
Echidna said this so to restrain Subaru who had stretched up and stood from his chair. Subaru cracked the bones of his necks at hearing the witch's cajolery.
[Subaru: That's right. To be honest, I know you're trying to help me in offering me to stay here, but…]
Cutting off his words there, Subaru turned his head to look down towards Echidna. The black irises of the witch and Subaru met each other. However―
[Subaru: It's not my plan to depend on you all the time. You should know that it's not that kind of contract.]
[Echidna: Good grief, you really aren't being honest with yourself. Even when I am the only one in this world that can be your accomplice in helping you bear your anguish and sorrow.]
[Subaru: I don't intend to entrust my anguish and sorrow to anyone. This is something that's just for me; it's how I overcome them. That's the reason behind the contract between me and you. Isn't that so?]
With a low tone of voice, Subaru declared this firmly to the still annoyed Echidna who was shrugging her shoulders. To that reply, Echidna cast her eyes down, drinking from her cup in silence.
When she stopped talking, it was a declaration of her intention that she had lost her reason to continue conversing. Making sure of this, Subaru turned his back to the woman, and started to walk down the hillock. But first, he stopped and turned his head back to look at the witch.
[Subaru: By the way, just a moment ago, you didn't deny that you're always spying on me day and night?]
[Echidna:… Hm? I thought I'd said 'even if'?]
[Subaru :…Even if that's true, I think it's in my capacity to recognise the context in that implicit way of speaking!]
[Echidna: ….]
[Subaru: …..]
Being hounded by Subaru, Echidna let out a small sigh. And then she put her cup to her mouth again. It was a declaration that there was no meaning in continuing their conversation――
[Subaru: I guess you thought I'd just leave it if you kept doing that, right? Are you going to ever stop doing such an unethical thing? Hmph, so are you?]
[Echidna: Is it not normal? I am not so vulgar to spy on you when you're taking a bath or using the bathroom. It's just that unless you're convinced that nothing will happen in these vulnerable situations, I think that it's impossible for me as your contractor to avert my eyes. In the end, it's my obligation as the『Witch of Greed』to faithfully uphold the contract――]
[Subaru: From now on, I'm removing the pendant when I go to the bathroom or wash myself.]
Saying this to the witches rapid-fire excuses, Subaru went down the hill, all the whilst biting down his embarrassment. At the bottom of the hillock, in the place in which Subaru first entered the grassy plain, a door materialised without warning. A single door free of any support. It was the only door that allowed him to go in and out to the outside world.
[Subaru: ...…]
Arriving in front of the door, Subaru placed his hand on the doorknob, turning himself so he couldn't see anything. Echidna was looking at Subaru's back, her hair fluttering in the wind all the way on the hillock.
When seeing Subaru looking down away from her, with only a slight bit of hesitation, she gave him a small wave. And without giving anything back, Subaru went through the door, leaving behind just a sigh.
――And straight after, his consciousness that had been captured by the dream world was released and returned back to reality.
[Subaru: ....]
When his consciousness came back to reality, Subaru was still standing in the middle of his own room, holding the black crystal. Breathing out a long sigh, he looked towards the Magic Hour Crystal on top of the door. There was no change in its green hue. That was proof that the time he spent in the dream world was only a few seconds.
[Subaru: Still, I'll never get used to it…]
It was routine every morning to go to the dream world to spend some time at Echidna's tea party. But from there, when he'd come back to reality, he still hadn't become familiar with the discomfort that was produced from the gap of these two worlds. It was a feeling that differed from『Return by Death』. Subaru sighed, and
"Echidna: What would you say to changing your mind and getting used to not getting used to it? Even if it's no more than for your peace of mind, maybe it'll make you feel a bit more at ease?"
As if it was a whisper in his ear, the voice of the witch he had said goodbye to a moment ago rung out. Well, in fact it wasn't whispered into his ear. That voice came from his contractor; the thoughts of the witch flowed via the crystal stone which hung from his neck.
Both of their paths were entwined by the contract even when he wasn't in the dream world. That made it possible for the witch to talk directly to Subaru from the dream world.
However――
[Subaru: I thought I told you not to speak to me without thinking when there's nothing important. ]
"Echidna: There's no one around. I don't think anyone is going to care you if you're directing your attention to me when you're alone in the room."
[Subaru: What would you do, if you did the same thing in public without thinking, and people saw me speaking to someone who isn't there and thought I was a weirdo?]
"Echidna: I feel like that's a new evaluation. But, besides, it's not unusual for spirits to converse their thoughts with their spirit-user. That isn't really suspicious."
[Subaru: With spirit-users, both use their thoughts to communicate. In my case, it's just you and I'm stuck speaking aloud to myself. If you look at it from that way, it's pretty annoying]
"Echidna: Yeah yeah, I get it. As you wish, I'll be silent except for when necessary. You managed to make a witch obey… you're a master at this."
[Subaru: SHUT THE HELL UP]
"Echidna: My my. Please don't hesitate to call me if you need me, contractor-dono."
With both anger and mockery in her voice, Echidna slinked back leaving behind those theatrical words of farewell. Even so, the witch should still be peeping into this world via the pendant, however, for the moment, Subaru pushed the notion away from his head and he breathed out a long sigh. From now on, he would definitely shove the pendant into his back-pocket when taking a bath or going to the toilet…
[???: … Subaru-sama, are you awake?]
There was a knock on the door from outside, which informed him of his usual wake up time. Subaru cleared his throat as he heard the gentle voice that had asked him that. Then, clapping his hands to his face, and making sure he was smiling using the mirror, he gave a very dispirited reply of: [Coome in],
Hearing that, the door slowly opened, and a young girl entered the room.
[???: Good morning, Subaru-sama. Today is once again a splendid morning y'know.]
Saying that while smiling, was the little girl in her maid uniform―― Petra Leyte, Subaru's personal maid.
When he had met her, she had still been a young bud yet to flower. But now she was entering the growing season, and was in the process of blooming beautifully. Her height, and arms, and legs had grown a lot compared to before, and she was increasingly becoming more and more suited to her pretty maid dress too.
That behaviour and conduction was not lost against her cute dress. From the start, she was a good girl who was well-taught and quick-to-learn. And now, as a maid, Petra had reached top notch levels.
A 14 year old flower… Seeing Petra's matured smile, Subaru replied with a smile.
[Subaru: A good morning to you too, Petra. I agree, it's indeed a splendid morning. Today too, I was able to see Petra's cute face in the morning. I'm pretty satisfied too.]
[Petra: Subaru's still saying such things. … Ah, but there are clouds hanging over the sky beyond the forest, it seems that the weather may get worse this afternoon. I have plans to go shopping this afternoon, I hope it'll stay sunnyyyyyy.]
Inclining her head towards Subaru's greeting, Petra turned her eyes towards the window and muttered that out. In those words, there was a trace of her childish immaturity in them, and Subaru gave a small chuckle.
[Petra: Ah! No, Subaru-sama.]
[Subaru: Nono, just now, the beautiful shell of a Maid was broken just a little. How very like you, Petra.]
[Petra: Jeez, please stop treating me like a kid like that. I'm totally grown up. I've been a maid already for two years… cuz of that I've become an adult!]
Shaking her auburn hair, Petra's cheeks blushed and her lips tapered in embarrassment. In front of the figure of his cute little sister, Subaru stroked the smiling girl's head. Petra narrowed her eyes in happiness and let out a reluctant sigh as Subaru stroked her head.
[Petra: So, what will you be doing this morning? It's still early for breakfast, but…]
[Subaru: Ahh, for the time being I'll just finish my usual routine and then if it goes well, we can have breakfast with everyone. If it doesn't go well… then, the usual.]
[Petra: …Okay]
Casting her eyes down slightly at Subaru's reply, Petra's face turned quite serious. Shedding silent tears at making such a young sweet girl make such a face, Subaru stroked the cute girl's head as she made this face,
[Subaru: Anyhow, thank you for today as well. Especially for coming to wake me up.]
[Petra: …]
[Subaru: Petra?]
[Petra: Subaru-sama really is clumsy.]
Saying that to Subaru, who was trying to awkwardly change topic, Petra gave an exasperated sigh. And then the girl shook her head, putting on a smile like a bloomed flower.
[Petra: No, even this is my job. Besides, it's far better because Subaru-sama won't sleep too much….. Even if he shouldn't be so careless.]
[Subaru: Huh?]
[Petra: It's nothing. Well then, I'll see you later. Excuse me.]
Every morning, after acting as Subaru's alarm clock Petra would give him a curtsy with her skirt. And then, after seeing off Subaru, she'd leave the room. The door would close, and Subaru would nod his head in satisfaction seeing Petra's growth. .
[Subaru: Petra has become splendid as well. As a big brother, I am proud.]
"Echidna: But from her side, she doesn't seem to think of you as a big brother."
[Subaru: Didn't I tell you to be silent except for when I need you? Witch-sama sure is quick to break promises.]
In her monologue, Subaru was struck by the witch's persistence and weakness to not be able to tolerate the silence. But, leaving behind a resigned sigh, he turned around to look at the door Petra had disappeared through.
[Subaru: I'm that girl's big brother, you know? So, Petra's my cute little sister. That's why I will make that girl happy. ――That much I will absolutely do.]
"Echidna: You'll absolutely make her happy you say…? Those words might unexpectedly become terrible words."
Hearing Subaru's firm tone, Echidna said that without poking any fun at him. Ignoring the words of the witch, Subaru left the room, lightly stretching himself. The mansion's corridor had become quite cold as a sign that it was early morning . Shivering, Subaru walked out.
―― His everyday『routine』was about to start.
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Since a few months ago, mornings in the Roswaal mansion had began with an intense『Slaughter.』Though, calling it『Slaughter』may have been quite surprising when it came to the people concerned.
Still, as far as Subaru was concerned, who witnessed it, the exchanges were violent enough to be called『Slaughter.』 In fact, there was no doubt that one of the two who clashed together was challenging the other to the death. But unfortunately, the other person who was challenging them evaded that ferocious fighting spirit with ease.
The disparity of power between the two of them was completely evident in the eyes of anyone who cared to look. Of course, there was no doubt that they'd keep up this dangerous routine every morning because of this,
[???: RHHHHHAAAAARRRGH!!]
A fierce howl of rage, accompanied by an explosion at the feet that blew away the lawn on the courtyard. Digging his foot in deeply, with that tempestuous propulsion the golden silhouette charged forward, his beastly claws driving straight toward the figure of his opponent.
It was a blow that could rend thick steel plate, a blow which could turn a human body into mince meat―― The claws of the beast delivered a myriad of violent attacks, assailing its prey in an attempt to forbid it from escaping. However,
???: [I am sorry, but the gap is too great.]
???: [GHHA― !?]
The other silhouette easily avoided the downpour of fatal attacks coming from the claws of the beast. And immediately after, the long legs which were jumping up gave out a loud yell, and the body of the beast was pierced from below.
The beast raised a cry in anguish at receiving that blow, and the side that was stuck arced upwards―
???: [GHHAGHK― !?]
――Or rather, that was what should have happened, but it didn't happen like so.
The body that was launched skywards was intercepted by the opponent's heel which swung downwards like he had waited in ambush, and sent him down crashing into the ground. The impact produced a circular crater upon the lawn's surface, leaving the beast perfectly silent, spread-eagled on the floor unmoving.
???: [Do you want to continue?]
???: [Aurgh]
The victor asked him whether he wanted to continue as the loser let out a groan. There was neither sarcasm or cynicism when asking that; they were words spoken only towards the battle. That's why those words deeply wounded the loser's spirit. Thus,
[Subaru: You probably don't even realise it, but words like that are demeaning you know. Stop with the damn Samurai's pity.]
Entering the scene in which victory and defeat had already been decided, Subaru said this as he scratched his head. Hearing those words, the young man who had been overlooking his spread-eagled opponent turned to look back at him with a smile appearing on his face.
The young man with hair of red flame raised his hand towards Subaru.
[???: 'ello, good morning, Subaru. You're up early this morning, huh?]
[Subaru: Not as early as the two of you. Even so, don't you get bored or have enough of doing this everyday... You don't have to always act so frank, Reinhardt.]
[Reinhardt: There's nothing wrong with his ambition burning strong. Besides, it's also true that he's getting stronger and stronger each day. Before long, won't there come a time where he will catch up with me?]
[Subaru: Is that so? I'm having a bit of a hard time picturing that.]
The red-haired youth―― Reinhardt's words didn't give off the feeling that they were either a joke or an act of humility. Closing one of his eyes at this estimation, Subaru looked down at the figure that was still lying down on the ground.
A boy with short golden hair was rolling in pain there. Wheezing in anguish, he was still not at a level in which he could wage battle, but still, the fighting spirit dwelling in his green eyes had not wavered at all.
Though his body could not obey his intentions, all he could do was grit his teeth in frustration. Grasping the feelings of bitterness he was feeling, Subaru extended his hand to that boy.
[Subaru: Hey, can you get up, Garfiel. Don't give up just yet. You're…]
[Garfiel: …Don't touch me so casually. ' don't need t' stand by yer fuckin' hand y'know.]
Not taking Subaru's outstretched hand, the blonde haired boy, Garfiel, bared his fangs at him. However, it was obvious in anyone's eyes that it was just a bravado. Pain was etched on his face, and his breathing was rough. Nevertheless, Subaru was not so childish as to point this out.
Slightly shaking the arm that had been brushed aside, Subaru sighed at the Garfiel who climbed to his feet.
[Subaru: Well, if you say so, do as you like. But, go take a bath before breakfast, and try to clean yourself of the sweat and mud. Otherwise, Ram will come to dislike you.]
[Garfiel: … ut yer trap. ' know wi'out you needin' to tell me.]
Shaking his head at Subaru's suggestion, Garfiel knitted his eyebrows into an angry scowl and stood up. His knees were still trembling, but it wasn't to the extent where he couldn't walk. Having recovered with his amazing resilience, Garfiel glared at Reinhardt who was standing there as unperturbed as ever.
[Garfiel: Nex' time, 'm gonna fuckin' beat ya.]
[Reinhardt: I will be looking forward to it.]
Garfiel snorted at Reinhardt's reply which had no traces of a lie in it. And after that, the boy started to trudge away, and as he passed by Subaru, he gave a fleeting glance his way.
[Garfiel: ――Hmph.]
Smacking his lips in irritation, he continued to trudge away from the courtyard to the mansion. With a wry smile on his face, Subaru watched him walk away like that; he shook his head.
He must be feeling quite hurt with his pride wounded. Still, his sour feelings should go away along with his sweat when he washed himself before breakfast. Really, he was at a troublesome age.
[Subaru: That guy, sorry for leaving him all to you. You must be tired too, feel free to go wash up… Speaking of which, running in to him in the bath would be troublesome.]
[Reinhardt: That's right, it'd be tough for him. Fortunately, I didn't move enough to break out into a sweat, so I'll refrain from doing that. It would be a shame to put Garfiel caked in mud in front of Ram-san.]
Having seen Garfiel walk off, Reinhardt smiled at Subaru who had raised those words. Just as he had thought, the effects of the morning sparring couldn't be seen on the『Sword Saint』. He was dealing with a child, Garfiel, who challenged him in 'anger'; he was perfectly capable of killing him if he so desired. And to make matters worse, he was making a nonchalant face whilst pushing down his feet on the part of the lawn in which Garfiel had been knocked down on. And, by some way, the grass returned back to how it had been in its original, clean state.
Was this also one of the countless Divine Protections he possessed? ――More and more, the thought of him as an enemy brought chills.
Therefore doing as much as having made him leave his own camp was probably Subaru's greatest achievement.
The『Sword Saint』Reinhardt Van Astrea.
Where he now belonged, was the camp supporting Emilia as king candidate, backed by Roswaal. Shortly after the Royal Selection had started, the『Sword Saint』had become Felt's knight. He had been the greatest adversary he would've had to contend with, and because of his distinguished prominence in the kingdom, he'd have been their greatest threat… but――
[Subaru: ――All that said, but, if Felt were to return, we'd once against stand as friends who are enemies, the thought of it brings shudders.]
[Reinhardt: …]
[Subaru: What's the matter?]
Reinhardt: No, nothing, I understand your concern, but I dare say I would be unable to go back to being Felt-Sama's knight. That lady judged me as unworthy. Were it not so, she wouldn't have tossed me aside to vanish to whereabouts unknown.]
Reinhardt shook his head, turning away from Subaru's words. Closing his eyes to that reply, Subaru concealed his innermost thoughts and let out a long sigh.
――Already, nearly a year had passed since Reinhardt's master, one of the Royal Election Candidates, Felt, had disappeared from her knight.
The feline girl left the Astrea House, taking with her only the old man she regarded as family, and ran away from the Royal Selection. Thus, she cast aside the『Sword Saint』who had pledged himself to her.
Those were the rumours circulating around the country, and was almost identical to the truth.
In fact, Reinhardt had heard nothing from Felt, before being driven from the Royal Election. The fact that the master he'd sworn his loyalty to had vanished without word, brought an immeasurable sense of helplessness to the『Sword Saint』.
Subaru had extended his arm out to this, and had dragged him over to this new camp. With his conscience sullied, and him feeling a great sense of responsibility, Reinhardt had taken Subaru's desperate plea, and offered his sword to Emilia as his new king.
And since, the『Sword Saint』had become the sword of the Emilia camp. He was playing a big part in the Royal Selection. As the descendant of the『Sword Saint』who had sealed『The Witch of Envy』up, he joined to support the much despised Emilia, the Half-Witch. The implications of that was greater than he imagined.
Besides, Reinhardt being around helped a lot in more things than just the Royal Selection. By belonging to the same camp, Reinhardt helped out with the rebellious Garfiel.
[Subaru: I can't raise my head to you and Ram. I can't imagine how many times Garfiel would have crushed me by now.]
[Reinhardt: There's hardly any such thing. Indeed, on the surface Garfiel is harsh, which is in fact an indication that he recognizes your strength. But, your strength is not one he can understand, and this, no matter what, he cannot find himself able to accept.]
[Subaru: Well, no one would particularly enjoy being confused by so many cheap conjurer's tricks. Though, there was no other way, so it's not like I've dwelled upon or regretted it.]
Shrugging at Reinhardt's defence, Subaru recalled the events that had transpired in the 『Sanctuary』. Back at the『Sanctuary』, the residents' escape had been impossible due to the barrier connected to the graveyard. Then, there was the threat of the『Sizeable Hare』Witchbeast swarming there―― to break through those issues, Subaru had used a lot of tricks.
It could be said that the one who feared『Sanctuary's』liberation the most was Garfiel, and that he was the one who did his utmost to stop Subaru. Whereas, Emilia and the others were the ones who picked up the fruits of his『Return by Death』with all his soul.
That was precisely what originated the contract between Subaru and Echidna. Subaru had chosen to take the witch's hand, and repeated his 'Return by Death' an unimaginable number of times, and went through all possible trial and error back at the『Sanctuary』.
And the result of that was Subaru had been able to take control of the actions of everyone staying in『Sanctuary』and by placing Garfiel outside the mosquito net (TL Note: isolating/setting him against from the other villagers) he prevented him from interfering with the events.
He overcame the Graveyard's『Trials』and broke the barrier. Meanwhile, Roswaal made the necessary preparations concerning Lewes, and led the evacuation. The inhabitants were set free before the threat of the Sizeable Hare had assailed the『Sanctuary』. Meanwhile, Garfiel struggled to keep the time of release at bay, but his struggles were in vain.
After all, it was after everything had ended that Garfiel understood everything that happened. Even when he knew that it was too late to help, after the evacuation of the inhabitants of the『Sanctuary』had ended, Garfiel had still tried to resist leaving the『Sanctuary』.
However, the『Sanctuary』was attacked by The Sizeable Hare and the young man would have been driven to the verge of death if he hadn't been saved by the hands of Subaru and Roswaal.
Lacking strength and making misjudgments, the problems that had weighed stubbornly on his young heart for more than a decade had been solved by outsiders, excluding him entirely. Garfiel's willpower was greatly wounded.
After that, his feelings of depression became rage, and it was only natural that he come to bear hatred for Subaru. Without the persuasions of Ram and his big sister, Frederica, Garfiel may not have made the choice to join the Emilia camp. The newcomer Reinhardt became the outlet of Garfiel's anger.
In the end, it was probably his own lack of strength which Garfiel couldn't forgive the most. By understanding the strength of the『Sword Saint』as his objective, little by little, signs of change were born in Garfiel, who continuously worked to become stronger.
Through this way, perhaps he would arrive at the answer that he couldn't acquire back at the『Sanctuary』.
[Subaru: Well, I'd be quite happy if he were a little more open with me.]
[Reinhardt: One day he'll understand your feelings. There's no need to be impatient.]
Reinhardt shook his head in a gesture that looked like consolation at Subaru's half-hearted conclusion. And then, the red-haired knight turned his eyes towards the mansion.
[Reinhardt: I want you to leave Garfiel to me for just a little while longer. …That's if you still have any expectations from me, I, who was not even able to acquire Felt-sama's trust.]
[Subaru: Don't be so pitiful. I don't think there's anyone who doesn't believe in you. Yeah, I have expectations of you.]
[Reinhardt: Understood. Then, you too should do what is expected of you… That is the duty of a best knight.]
It was only in those last words, in which Reinhardt had shown some kind of emotion in.
The『Best Knight』, that term was permitted only in master-servant relationships which were tied together by the strongest of bonds. Reinhardt had not been able to become that for Felt.
He didn't wish to become so to Subaru, that's what he felt.
[Reinhardt: Well, I'll see you later.]
Without even revealing a bit of those emotions on his facial expression, Reinhardt gave Subaru a clap on his shoulder and left the garden. As he walked, there were no signs of the fight which had taken place a few moments ago, on the lawn underneath his feet which should have been dented.
Whilst standing on lawn that had gone back to normal, Subaru made sure that Reinhardt had completely left the garden and let out a long sigh.
[Subaru: I left Garfiel to… you, huh.]
"Echidna: My, what skilled acting. Your skin grows thicker by the day."
[Subaru: …]
Once again, he heard the voice of the witch who kept breaking her promise. But, Subaru didn't say anything back. Taking his silence as an acknowledgement, Echidna transmitted her thought-waves from her crystal stone,
"Echidna: Pitying Garfiel is your prerogative. But let's discuss the solution of『Sanctuary』. Repeating attempt after attempt, you found the optimum solution. Keeping anyone from hurting, from dying… and finally saving everyone's life. Isn't that so?"
[Subaru: I know. That's why I didn't say anything.]
"Echidna: Reinhardt as well, absolve yourself from guilt. Originally, that girl—— Felt wasn't interested in the election in the slightest. So, you pointed out an escape path for her, so she would need not trouble herself. And now, she's living peacefully with that old giant in Kararagi."
[Subaru: …]
Echidna carefully affirmed Natsuki Subaru's choices, as if caressing old wounds.
Garfiel's stagnation, Reinhardt's anguish―― all of these were as a result of Subaru's choices. Garfiel's situation had been okay. It had been the necessary process for resolving the problems in the『Sanctuary』without having to sacrifice anyone. But, Reinhardt's situation was different.
It was a plot of Natsuki Subaru to completely separate him from his master. He wouldn't be able to avoid blame and disdain if they knew the facts. It was that kind of a plan. But even so――
"Echidna: In order to drive away the malicious Witch Cult targeting Emilia, you need real power. Just charm isn't enough. So in the end, you made the right choice."
[Subaru: Enough!]
"Echidna: Successfully saving Pristella, was allowed only because of that choice. Dealing with the disaster that swept the Watergate City, how would your odds have been without Reinhardt?"
[Subaru: ….]
"Echidna: Of course, if you'd concentrated your fighting power there, you may found a way to repel them by some other means. However, to be able to defeat Sin Archbishops in the plural with no victims, was precisely because you had Reinhardt available to you."
Repeated and relentless were Echidna's words, and yet that attempt to console was met with the opposite effect. An attempt to justify his deeds, falling hundreds upon thousands of times was that blade known as words. Using this method to cut his heart into jagged pieces was not her goal, but it certainly felt so. Using a blade of language, she condemned the deeds and deceits of Natsuki Subaru.
No matter how many times, no matter how many dozen times, no matter how much she repeated it, it was never enough.
His strength was overwhelmingly insufficient. And that power never compensated for the experiences of Subaru, who kept repeating『Return by Death』several times.
Memories and experiences of the future, in this world there was despair that could not be overcome with that alone. Still, maybe the difficulties could have been overcome if he had committed himself. But Subaru regretted that he could not be neither strong enough or weak enough to allow sacrifices.
It'd be meaningless if he closed his eyes to people falling victim, it'd be meaningless if he accepted condolences, it'd be meaningless if he allowed compromises. If he stopped putting his life on the line, he'd lose meaning in having taken the witch's hand.
Therefore, he did everything he could to get the necessary power and the necessary fighting strength. As a result, he had caught the strongest sword, Reinhardt van Astrea and made him into an ally.
When it came to Felt's withdrawal from the Royal Selection―― It was not possible to describe all of his tries, and all of his errors that he had repeated so that this would have been realised.
Under Reinhardt's enmity, under that sword, falling even ten or twenty times was insufficient. Still, finally he had accomplished it quite peacefully without sacrificing anyone. Only that outcome was salvation for Natsuki Subaru.
It didn't matter how many times his heart would be wounded, as long as he could save their lives――
[Subaru: There's life, if there's life, there's a future, if there's a future, there's hope, if there's hope, then there are possibilities. If there are possibilities, then――]
"Echidna: Then people will be saved. You're in the right. You aren't wrong. I promise so."
[Subaru: I don't particularly need your guarantees, you know…]
Subaru spoke out his innermost thoughts to both cheer himself up, and to caution himself. The witch affirmed, understood, shared and admired that.
While responding aggressively to his words, it was a fact that the witch's words helped him.
Life, was life.
If he was alive, he could start over. He had possibilities. It yielded hope.
Sacrifices were things that were different to Subaru's life. It was worth continuing to keep using『Returning by Death』all the time if it protected everyone except Subaru's own life, which was no longer included in his calculations.
――Even if those who I want to save weep, I still want to save them.
That was the salvation that Subaru had decided to receive by taking the witch's hand.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Having received the witch's cruel comfort, Subaru left the courtyard. Witnessing the morning exercises of Reinhardt and Garfiel, had in fact nothing to do with Subaru's daily routine. He just happened to pass by the scene, and he had no choice but to call out to them. Subaru's proper daily routine started in the mansion's library.
Subaru: ――Heya, Beatrice. Sorry to intrude.]
Deep within the easternmost part of the mansion, stood a neat library. When you pushed open one of the heavy double-doors, the first thing that leaped out from the inside was the overwhelming scent of paper. In the dim light of a magic crystal, the narrow shelves were completely filled, drowned under thick stacks of heavy books
The amount of books could be said to be no inferior to what once existed in the『Forbidden Library.』
So, in that case.
Even while knowing that this place wasn't the『Forbidden Library』that she should be guarding, the little girl remained here, able to see the fragments of her old home within the debris.
[Beatrice: ….]
In the depths of the dark room, in a corner of the library rested the figure of a young girl who hugged her knees to her chest. As soon as he entered the room, he saw her sat on a wooden stepladder. This still vivid memory of her squatting posture, that sense of violation would not vanish, continuing to burn and erode through Subaru's heart.
Beatrice had pressed her forehead into her knees, still wearing her same dress. Scrunched up like this, the little girl didn't stir, react or even say anything to Subaru as he entered her room.
But she was not asleep, that much was clear from the fingers of her little body, which were clenched with so much force that they were whitened.
Back then, she had greeted Subaru with poor temperament, but at least when she had greeted him then, it had been with the dignity of a librarian. There were no traces remaining of that frigid expression which had been sustained by the pride of her responsibility.
Scrunching up his eyes at seeing the girl in such a sorry state, Subaru rapidly blinked his eyes to get rid of the emotions that had flitted there for just a moment. Then after putting on a ridiculously animated smile, he threw open the curtains of the library.
Unlike the forbidden library, the room had a physical existence. Naturally, since there was a window, the door couldn't act as a barrier to prevent trespass. Therefore――
[Subaru: Heyy, Beako. Today's a splendid morning. There's a pleasant wind blowing by. You should stop hiding in this musty old room; don't you feel like playing outside?]
[Beatrice: ….]
[Subaru: If you don't want to muddy your dress up by playing outside, then at the very least let's eat together with everyone. Come to the dining hall like before. It's not too much to ask, right?]
[Beatrice: ...]
The curtains of the library were torn wide open, and sunlight streamed into the room. Just like the streaming sunlight, Beatrice kept her silence, tilting down her head to Subaru's requests, who was still smiling quite openly. It felt to Subaru that her arms that were still clutching her knees were as if she was punishing herself.
[Subaru: Hey, Beako….]
[Beatrice: … just shut the hell up, in fact.]
[Subaru: ....]
Unable to bear looking at him, Beatrice spoke this out quite loudly as Subaru tried to approach her.
Her voice sank heavily, as it grew hoarse. But, after hearing her voice, Subaru felt relieved. Because recently, just hearing her voice was a rare occurrence.
When she was depressed, the days were quite many in which he couldn't exchange even a single word with her. Even words of rejection and denial pleased him.
Casting aside what Subaru was thinking, Beatrice continued without lifting up her face.
[Beatrice: Betty is tired. I've already given up, I suppose. I went against mother's instructions… I broke the contract… and despite that, I'm still alive… why?]
[Subaru: Beatrice…]
Beatrice : If only you just ditched me back then… Why did you come to help me? Clearly, you're not… you're not『They!』]
It's a resentment that will never disappear, a resentment that can never fade, a penitence that she could never forgive――
In her four hundred years, Beatrice had bore those feelings alone, her heroic consciousness that had refused to relinquish such thoughts had been trampled upon, naturally bringing hatred.
Within the Forbidden Library, was a spirit who had given up her life for her mission, with no room in her heart for hope.
Her eternal life had stripped hope from her, and all she had been given was time to live a life devoid of meaning.
When the Forbidden Library burned down along with the mansion, the place in which she had been indicated to stay was lost forever.
But even so, Beatrice had never once forgotten her responsibility, the one that been abandoned. Her heart which had bore such a relentless sense of responsibility, had been scarred by permanent wounds, steeped in misery.
That is why ever since the night when the Forbidden Library had burnt to ashes, all she could do was crouch in a corner of the library, endlessly sobbing in helplessness.
But still――
[Beatrice: ――hk! Go away! Let go of me, I suppose! Don't you touch Betty… ―tch!]
Unable to see her small figure, Subaru had wrapped her small body into a hug. Shouting at him when she felt his arm hugging her, Beatrice made no attempt to hide her disgust and rage, scoring Subaru's neck with her nails. Caught in her merciless attack, drops of blood oozed out of his wound. But still, he didn't let go.
He hugged her in an attempt to comfort her shivering body. But maybe it was actually Subaru who was looking for comfort by doing that.
[Beatrice: Why did you come to see me, I suppose…! You're so….you're so…!]
[Subaru: I'll be like this no matter how many times you vent your anger at me, it's fine. Even if the flames of regret don't seem like they're vanishing right now, if you keep pouring them out maybe they'll vanish someday.]
[Beatrice: They're not… supposed to vanish…! Betty is!]
[Subaru: I'm so glad that you're alive. So, I'll always look forward to the day where you'll once again get sulky in front of me. ――Because that hope still lives in me.]
[Beatrice: ――hk]
Quietly, after those sincere words were exhausted, Beatrice's resistance subsided. Making a surprised face, Beatrice started to sob, there in body but not in spirit. It was a sign that he couldn't continue this conversation anymore.
――Once every two weeks, Subaru and Beatrice would exchange anger and stillness like so.
After letting go of her, Beatrice once again buried her forehead into her knees. And after that Subaru couldn't say anything more to the girl who had retreated into her own shell. Subaru's words still weren't able to manage to open the door to her stubborn heart.
Nevertheless, if he beat relentlessly against those doors, maybe one day, they would open. ――The mere possibility of this hope, was hope itself.
[Subaru:… Back then, I wonder if I should have told her I was『They』even if it was a lie.]
Exiting the library and leaving Beatrice behind, whilst keeping his back to the door, Subaru recollected this.
Beatrice had been broken clinging to the hope that Subaru was the『They』in question back during the attack on the mansion. She had been prepared for the end of her long, long mission, but both her fragile hopes and her sorrowful acceptance were smashed to pieces.
Would Subaru have been able to lie to her who had longed for the visit of『They』for 400 years about being『They』just because he could? And in that case, could her heart have been protected without burning it along with the burning Forbidden Library?
"Echidna: The fact that the Forbidden Archive was lost can't be undone. Accepting the irretrievable loss of all the knowledge without inheritance is quite painful for me, but it couldn't be helped. Though for you, compared to that knowledge, that Beatrice's life was saved is what matters most."
[Subaru: It's inappropriate that you'd say so. It should be that you alone, have no right to say this.]
Echidna, who was still in the dream world, protested to Subaru who had mentioned his regrets in passing.
But, hadn't it been Echidna who had entrusted the Forbidden Library to Beatrice, and let her have such a lonely existence for 400 years?
As a result of Echidna setting this duty out to her, Beatrice's heart had gradually crumbled to pieces. And despite that――
[Subaru: If you hadn't told her to wait for『They』…!]
"Echidna: Wait a second. No matter how you look at it, isn't that sidestepping logic? I had my own reasons, and there was a need for it to be done. Of course, responsibility for Beatrice's long solitude does have to do with me. But, my intent was certainly not one of forcing misfortune upon that child. I do hope you understand."
[Subaru: Ghg…]
Receiving Echidna's objections, Subaru hesitated in bursting out in anger. The witch's words were correct. In the end, when he blamed Echidna, he was just shifting the responsibility from what he couldn't do himself.
[Subaru: …In the end, who was『They』?]
"Echidna: Regretfully, I can't let that slip from my mouth. Since the Forbidden Archive is lost, discussing it would be meaningless. Even if we were to find out who it is, he wouldn't know about that anymore."
[Subaru: Him… so it's a man?]
"Echidna: ――Did my mouth slip? But, every way of finding him is gone now. In the first place, say you found them, what would you do? Let Beatrice see them? Or do you intend to impose a sanction on them? In that case, what crime would it be under. The party in concern would certainly be unaware of it, a crime that doesn't exist can't be sanctioned. Moreover, it's not like you have the leisure."
Irrefutable were Echidna's conversational tactics, leading Subaru to click his tongue.
As a matter of fact, everything spoken from the Witch were probably correct. He couldn't find any errors. He couldn't judge them. Subaru didn't have the time to do such a thing.
"Echidna: Beatrice truly did spend that time in pity. But, that isn't to say the future would remain so, and there's no indication we should think thus. How unexpected, it's just as you said."
[Subaru: …]
"Echidna: Even if devastated by regret right now, there will come a day where that child will be freed. At the time, someone will come to accept that child. Perhaps someone that is you, perhaps someone that isn't. That is the possibility that living offers."
It was sophistry.
It was merely a front of benevolence.
But, that doubtlessly was also hope.
It seemed like cajolery from Echidna, but if there was that possibility, Subaru had no choice but to believe them.
Thus, the witch he was contracted with, no matter how clearly he could see that she cajoled him, he could not deny what she was saying. He could only cling to her, rely on her. As his only accomplice, keeping Subaru from forgetting his sins, was her constant presence.
[Subaru: Just like parallel lines]
[Echidna: Ah, like parallel lines indeed]
In the end, finishing their conversation thus, were Subaru and Echidna's manner of confronting their sins. They entrusted hope to the future, believing in the paths to possibility, awaiting the arrival of the ideal day.
It didn't matter how many chances he had, Subaru would always find himself back in this place. He had dragged out the despairing Beatrice as she tried to stay in the burning mansion, even if she'd lost her Forbidden Library, even if her every day were to be met with relentless tears; he still had wanted her to live.
Even with repeated trial and error in many thousands repetitions of this world, Subaru hadn't found a way of rescuing Beatrice without letting anyone to die.
Thus, clinging onto hope, he kept walking forward through thick and thin, through thick and thin.
I saved them, I saved them.
Today as well, he made these words his motivation for the future; he wanted hope to flourish.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
[???: Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! But if it isn't Subaru-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Did you come from visiting Beatrice?]
[Subaru: ...]
Suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him as he walked through the corridor. Subaru reflexively stopped in his tracks. He immediately realised who it belonged to from the tone of his voice. It was because of that he regretted stopping, but he couldn't ignore it because he had already stopped walking. Reluctantly turning around, the other figure stood leisurely, directly behind Subaru.
[Subaru: Is that you, Roswaal?]
[Roswaal: Mhhm. That's me of course. Good morning. How was Beatrice today?]
[Subaru: …It had been a while since she's treated me so haughtily. Well, anticipate some progress from now on.]
[Roswaal: I see. … Looks like you took quiiiiiite the beating, though?]
Roswaal narrowed his differently coloured eyes as he received Subaru's dispirited reply. He was looking at Subaru's face and neck. On them, were the painful scratches Beatrice had given him with her nails a short while ago.
[Roswaal: Unfortunately, I've never been skilled at treating injuries, and I won't be able to treat those wounds. The ones who can use Healing Magic are just… Beatrice, Garfiel and Emilia-sama.]
[Subaru: It'd be a little difficult to ask it from the first two. I could ask Emilia… well I'll think about it.]
[Roswaal: If you ask her, I am sure she'll definitely heal you up. Or perhaps, could it be that maybe your aching wounds give you some comfort right now?]
[Subaru: ….]
In place of the reticent Subaru, each of Roswaal's discursive words were as painfully sharp as a razor. It was especially so when Roswaal spoke his last words; Subaru narrowed his eyes to it, and Roswaal shrugged his shoulders up in a clown-like gesture.
The clown's makeup and exotic attire, Roswaal's appearance and attitude had in no way changed, but he was also decisively different.
Behind the way he addressed Subaru and his attitude towards him there was a certain respect. That served as Roswaal's, toward the unpredictable existence of Natsuki Subaru, proof that he recognized his utility.
[Roswaal: But, please don't worry about it. If you make use of your time, I am sure you'll find a solution; no matter what the method, you will dedicate yourself in finding the optimal way. If your desire is to save Beatrice's heart, such a method will one day fall within your grasp. There's no need at all to feeeeeeel anxious.]
[Subaru: It's hardly as easy done as said. There isn't anything so convenient.]
[Roswaal: You're too modest. ――Besides, I don't think that it's easy, yes? But, that mere fact doesn't cloud all of your achievements so far, that's all I was saying.]
Respectfully giving a bow, Roswaal gave thorough praise for Subaru's achievements.
As a matter of fact, only Echidna who was contracted with Subaru knew about his ability of 『Return by Death.』But, Roswaal had an understanding of his ability to be similar to『Redoing.』 Roswaal evaluated that fact and his achievements together.
As Echidna didn't have any realistic power in the real world, it it was no exaggeration to say that Roswaal that valued Subaru the most in the truest sense.
[Roswaal: At the Royal Capital, at my mansion, and once again at the Royal Capital. And then, at『Sanctuary』, at Pristella. ――You survived those without fail, without loss. Indisputable, are the feats of your achievement. There will come a day, when you will fulfill my long-cherished wish, and for that I will do my utmost to support you. Please make use of it.]
[Subaru: You sure are optimistic. …Don't be so sure that you can grasp me in the palm of your hands.]
[Roswaal: But, you need the blood of the dragon. Without it, that girl―― Rem will never awaken. Having reached that conclusion, you need Emilia-sama to become king. Isn't that right?]
Subaru returned the stare with a sharp, cold look to Roswaal's searching expression,.
It's a relationship of mutual cooperation established on choppy waters, in which both of them knew each other's critical points.
Roswaal would accomplish his goal by utilising Subaru's『Return by Death』as he put Subaru in situations whereby he could achieve this. And though Subaru knew of those intentions, he didn't have any choice but to advance by them for the sake of saving Rem, who was still sleeping.
[Roswaal: In no way is it a bad deal. You do you, I do me, and in any case we'll both have our desires become reality. That's why we make use of each other to that end. That's all.]
[Subaru: ….]
[Roswaal: My strength should be useful. I devoted about 400 years awaiting this time. And to me, your power is the same… isn't that so?]
Subaru couldn't give any objections to Roswaal's conviction. That was the answer that came out from when he found out about Roswaal's treachery way back at the『Sanctuary』. Whether for the sake of the Royal Election, or as a means of blocking against coming hindrances, being without Roswaal's presence, was absolutely unallowable.
Even if he was just planning on using Subaru to make his own wishes come true.
[Subaru: If you were honest about your true intentions, and you told me what you wanted, I wouldn't be so stubborn, I would maybe even be willing to help.]
[Roswaal: What a shame, I'm afraid that's impossible. You wouldn't chose that.]
For the sake of slightly easing the sense of urgency, Subaru, who had tried to approach him in a compromise, Roswaal gave him his rejection. Roswaal gave a ostentatious smile towards the Subaru who heard that with widened eyes.
[Roswaal: Being conscious of it would be a disaster, you must always exalt your sole priority. Any obstructions, reasons for stumbling, everything will be judged, and no matter what can be discarded without second thought. And if done, that would be the end. This was all already decided, hence why you've become my trump card.]
[Subaru: ….]
[Roswaal: Isn't this wonderful? I'll take care of my side, you'll take care of yours, freely fulfilling our wishes. If it's impossible even like this, that merely indicates the desire was insufficient from the one who didn't fulfill it.]
[Subaru: …Ah, is that so?]
Crazed dedication, was why Roswaal supported his, that much had already been clear. Then, where the root of it came from, his refusal to speak honestly about it was also thus. With this in mind, Subaru ended the conversation with Roswaal and finally started to walk away. With a posture that showed just how much Roswaal was detached from his heart, Roswaal stopped walking,
Roswaal: Ahhh, yes. Right about now, Ram will be in Rem's room. I'm letting you know, just in case.]
[Subaru: …..]
Unable to respond, Subaru turned the corner and escaped from his gaze.
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[Ram: Thank you very much for taking the trouble to visit my lonely sister, Natsuki Subaru-sama]
Ever since the agreement in『Sanctuary』, or perhaps, it might be more accurate to say ever since Natsuki Subaru decided to do things this way.
Ever since that, it was inevitable that numerous changes had occured in the mansion, and on the outside, but amongst them, the biggest change was perhaps hers.
The one who had greeted Subaru as he entered the room was a pink-haired maid who had given him a most profound bow. The one who had spoke this greeting was most certainly Ram.
Though she had been a girl with that had been the very picture of arrogance, after he had overcome the events of『Sanctuary』, she had a sudden shift in her attitude towards Subaru.
[Subaru: No matter how much time passes, I never get used to your attitude.]
[Ram : Again, I am really sorry for how rude I was in the past. Ram's ignorance and discourtesies caused great inconveniences to Natsuki Subaru-sama. But since Roswaal-sama and Emilia-sama have ordered me to show Natsuki-sama the highest of respect, it won't happen again; please rest assured]
Without changing her expression, Ram replied to Subaru in a manner dignified as any maid would be. There were no traces of familiarity or a sense of closeness which could be interpreted as friendliness in her behaviour, as there had been once before. There was a wall―― No, if there was a wall he'd be able to climb over it. Here, there was no way of overcoming it; more precisely, it was a distance between worlds than a wall.
Ram held Roswaal in high esteem and adored him. When Roswaal had changed the way he acted towards Subaru, Subaru's value also greatly changed for Ram. The result was that she now regarded Subaru as someone she showed respect to.
Turning his attention away from that Ram, Subaru walked towards the middle of the room―― the reason why he had came to this room was the blue-haired girl who was sleeping in the bed.
She was lying on her back, her figure unchanged after 2 years―― that girl, was Rem. He had vowed to wake her up, and now he still hadn't reached the conviction that he'd fulfill that vow. Just time was cruelly leaving the girl behind.
[Subaru: Are there any changes in Rem?]
[Ram: No I'm afraid. She still continues to sleep… There are a lot of problems on your mind, Ram doesn't have the time to give any attention to her little sister.]
[Subaru: Don't say such things. There's absolutely… there's absolutely no futility in thinking about Rem. Never say that again.]
[Ram: ――Understood sir.]
Ram responded curtly to Subaru's firm order. Neither dissatisfaction or complaints were there, and neither was relief or gratitude. In regards to her younger sister called Rem, Ram had no actual feelings or appreciation for her. She recognised formally that Rem was her sister, but in the depths of her heart she probably had no room for Rem.
Her heart was completely based on loyalty to Roswaal. Having involved her in Roswaal's plans, having decided to curb the wishes Ram clung onto, the effects of Subaru's actions were strong indeed.
Even if Rem were to awaken, would her heart once again have room for her little sister? Would those sisters go back to being the much loved big sister, and her cute little sister.
[Subaru: ――Ukh. Ram, sorry, but let me be alone with Rem.]
[Ram: …as you wish. Please call me if you need anything.]
Grinding his teeth at the shuddering thought, Subaru felt terrified at being in the same room as Ram. Miraculously, before his trembling voice was let out, she had left the room. Fortunately, Ram had left gracefully, leaving him behind only an elegant curtsy without giving any objections to Subaru's words. And so, only the two of Subaru and Rem were left in the room.
Subaru: ….Rem.]
[――]
Lying on the bed, the girl simply breathed over and over again in a manner which could not be mere sleep; she doesn't reply. The fact that her chest was gently rising and falling, and that the blood in her body was warm were the only signs of life within Rem.
All that Subaru could do for Rem when visiting this place was to take her hand and check her weak pulse. And that's all Subaru can find comfort in, in this moment.
[Subaru: …Echidna.]
"Echidna: For you to call me, is truly a rarity."
Echidna replied to his call as he sat down by Rem's bedside, gently holding her hand. The witch who seemed to know all too well about how she would speak without necessarily being called, silently waited for Subaru's words to be submerged in the warm water of his emotions. The silence would end after ten or so minutes.
[Subaru: The way to wake up Rem is like you told me before, right?]
"Echidna: Yeah. You could question the Sin Archbishop of『Gluttony』that put her in this sleep. But, I have to say, the likelihood of that is quite low. Finding those guys is next to impossible, and even if you do catch them, finding a way to beat their secrets out of them… Even if you were to just able to find a way to talk to them, maybe it would be easy to find a way to make them open their mouth, if you had the power…"
[Subaru: Ah, that's right. That's right of course. If I manage to find them, and catch them, and beat their secrets out of them to reawaken Rem, I can challenge them ten thousands of times. Even so…]
They were nowhere to be found. The Sin Archbishop of Gluttony, those despicable blasphemers never showed up anywhere. Even when the Sin Archbishops『Wrath』, 『Lust』and 『Greed』 gathered in the Watergate City of Pristella, the Sin Archbishop of『Gluttony』did not show up.
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why――
[Subaru: If tracking down『Gluttony』is hopeless, what about the Sage's tower? If the『Sage』Shaula knows everything, then…]
"Echidna: As a witch, I will say this. Even if you do go to the Pleiades Watchtower, you'll just be going on a fool's errand. The『Sage』will not correspond to your expectations. On the contrary, there's even the possibility that the『Sage』will not allow your presence. Even you should not wish to drop in there to die in vain, right?"
He was denied once. He was denied twice. He was stuck. Getting help from the『Sage』was a no go. The Archbishops of『Gluttony』were nowhere to be found. Subaru's wishes were denied politely by the『Witch of Greed』. Then, what on earth should he do――
"Echidna: So, you have no choice but to get the blood of the dragon"
[Subaru: With the blood of the dragon, we can wake up Rem.]
"Echidna: I refer to the Divine Dragon's. Using its omnipotent power kept in its blood, I think you should be able to release the girl's soul from her sleep."
Echidna's words were no more than a conjecture. But it was a convincing conjecture. Though she had said them with an air of avoiding them as being fact, the witch's words were fairly encouraging. Thus for now, Subaru believed that this was the way to save Rem.
The blood of the dragon was considered one of the treasures which the『Divine Dragon』Volcanica granted to the Kingdom of Lugnica. It brought plentiful harvest to the lands, and kept away every disease, and had the possibility to grant miracles.
It could only be used by people with the highest pedigrees of social status in the kingdom. In other words it was those who――
[Subaru: You get it if you ascend to the throne.]
"Echidna: Of course. That's why you have to make her.. You absolutely must make Emilia king."
[Subaru: ....]
"Echidna: Back Emilia, back her and make her king whilst you help the people you wish to save. And when you get ahold of the dragon's blood, you will be able to save Rem."
Echidna's words pour into Subaru's mind like poison. He has to make Emilia king in order to save Rem. Making Emilia king was one of Subaru's aims that he wanted to meet to fulfill Emilia's wishes.
It was of utmost importance. Supporting Emilia would lead to saving Rem.
To make Emilia king, to save Rem. As a result, Rem would be saved thanks to Subaru wanting to make Emilia king. Therefore――
"Echidna: Therefore…"
[Subaru: Stop, you idiot. … Don't try and swing my determination like that every time you can. Why are you trying to place Emilia under me like that?]
"Echidna: But that wasn't my intention?"
[Subaru: You're not very convincing. We've repeated this conversation many times, tens of times, hundreds of times.]
The witch often times poured poison into his mind similar as if she was brainwashing him. In a way to change Subaru's aims, and lessen the value of Emilia. But that was something that Subaru could not let go. It they differed in this, Natsuki Subaru would lose his qualification to step on his own corpses that have been slaughtered so far.
[Subaru: You shouldn't jam us between your own selfishness. No matter what you harbour against Emilia.]
"Echidna: You're misunderstanding me. Well, it doesn't matter how much I say, you won't believe it… just like parallel lines."
[Subaru: It's better to say that we never agree with each other, like parallel lines, even if it's a conversation that we repeat a lot.]
There were things which could not be relinquished in his cooperative relationship with Echidna. The witch claimed to be Subaru's accomplice, and by lending Subaru her wisdom as a contribution, she planned to use not only Subaru's 『Return by Death』, but also his way of life. Although, thanks to her ingenuous side, those poisonous fangs did not reach him, and thus they were in a state of stalemate.
[Subaru: I'll get my hands on the dragon's blood. By making Emilia king. ――But it's not something I'm doing just while saving Rem. Making Emilia King is intrinsic with saving Rem, so my original intentions haven't changed. Make no mistakes there.]
"Echidna: Mymy. As if I have any complaints dancing to your tune from time to time. You know, I need you to let your guard down a little, otherwise I won't be able to save face as a witch."
[Subaru: The way you execute your endgame is soft. Or rather, perhaps, when it comes to you, I'd say you're soft at the core. You're not suited to be a complete villain. That's how I am saved.]
"Echidna: I see. I will try to keep that in mind."
Echidna admitted her defeat with no great objection. Even if she could made use of this lesson next time, she probably wouldn't be able to. To ask why, the answer would be that. Because it's not something that can be changed.
Natsuki Subaru was Natsuki Subaru no matter what befell him.
The『Witch of Greed』Echidna could only be the『Witch of Greed』Echidna.
Using the nature that they could never be capable of changing as weapons.
Because in life, victory or defeat could only be found in the cards they were dealt.
[Subaru: ――Wait for me, Rem. For sure, I will wake you up. That's why…]
――No matter how many times he dies.
His resolve was no exaggeration, the stakes he presented were quite trivial. Regardless of how many times he threw it away, he would continue giving his inextinguishable life away. If that eventually led to her waking up, he would feel no regrets.
Just that much, just that much, just that would be good enough.
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