Coming out of the remote residence alongside Lewes and Pico, Subaru noticed a sliver of dawn beginning to creep onto the eastern sky, and felt sleepy for the first time that night.
[Subaru: Woah, the sun'll be up soon... a whole lot's happened tonight, huh]
It didn't feel like it, but the night had begun with Emilia's first Trial, followed by Subaru's intervention, a Return by Death, an after-Trial meeting, a run-in with Garfiel, and, after that, him uncovering a secret facility before spending the rest of the night learning the Sanctuary's secrets from Lewes.
This dense use of time and the hyper-speed developments had left him dazed and out of breath. And, unlike his mind, he couldn't quite hide the toll on his body, which had been running non-stop until now. One could say that the subtle imbalance of mental and physical fatigue was just one of the downsides of Return by Death.
[Subaru: Honestly, I kinda wanna go back to the Cathedral and sleep till noon...]
[Lewes: No one would mind if you do. I plan on taking a nice long rest as well after I pass things on to the next Lewes]
[Subaru: While I sort of envy the kind of shift-rotations you have, I'm running out of time, so there's no helping it…]
Six days―― or actually, only five, since a day had already passed. And considering that he'd have to spend a whole day's travel time to get to and from the Mansion, there was really only three days he could use.
Wasting a precious half of a day sleeping wasn't something he could afford, but, while Echidona already knew that Subaru could see the future, he was still hesitant about whether he should tell Lewes.
[Subaru: It might make the Witch of Envy show up, so better not just yet...]
Sweat popped up on his forehead the moment the shadowy, Sanctuary-devouring Witch flashed across his mind.
Somehow he just knew that the devastation was a result of him running his mouth in Echidona's Citadel. Spilling forbidden knowledge out of reach of the Witch's constraints, he had invited her wrath as well as everything that followed.
So, he'd consider it lucky if the Witch only dealt him the usual punishment in the real world, where she could directly lay her hands on him――
[Subaru: I do wanna try, but out of concern for other people's lives… better not]
Deciding this in a deflated mumble, Subaru looked down at the dopey-looking Pico, standing there holding his left hand. On the receiving end of his gaze, as if in anticipation of another command, the girl's round eyes grew even rounder.
It seems that Subaru's first command had made her more aware of the transfer of command-authority. And now, Pico was like a baby bird looking up to its parent.
[Lewes: So, what does Su-bo plan to do next?]
[Subaru: Probably get back to the Mansion for now. There's someone there I need to get some answers from... and I'll see Frederica while I'm at it. There's a whole bunch of things she could clear up for me]
[Lewes: Frederica, huh...]
Mentioning the name of the hulking maid who popped into his mind, he saw a furrow in Lewes' brows, as if there was some significance in hearing Subaru mention this name. After all, it wasn't like Lewes to react this way.
[Subaru: Did that remind you of something? About Frederica?]
[Lewes: ...No, it's nothing important]
[Subaru: Lewes-san, I'd rather not use my command authority if possible… I really don't want to have to order Lewes-san to tell me]
Subaru shrinked up his shoulders, imploring her to tell him. But, underneath the words, his eyes sharpened as if clearly saying, "I'll use it if I have to". Seeing this, Lewes let out a sigh.
[Lewes: It was just that, ever since Frederica left, little by little, it feels like the Sanctuary's gears have been slipping out of place]
[Subaru: Slipping out of place?]
[Lewes: The way it was, though I'm not sure if you could call it healthy... hm, whether it was the residents, the Lewes Meyer replicants, or Gar-bo, none of them were as on edge as they are now]
[Subaru: ...]
[Lewes: You know, Su-bo, I have great expectations of you]
As Subaru fell silent, Lewes looked up and said this.
"Expectations". He felt a tug on his chest as he heard it. Because the word reminded him of――
[Lewes: For the longest time, the Sanctuary had been awkwardly serving a purpose which it had already lost. That obstinance is now creating holes all over. That's why I have great expectations of you, Su-bo]
[Subaru: What, could I...]
[Lewes: The Witch's obsession, the reasons for the Sanctuary's continued existence, and Lewes Meyer's wish. I look forward to seeing you bring about a conclusion that fulfills everyone's hopes in the end]
A far-too-heavy burden of bearing everyone's expectations on his shoulders.
Subaru had the urge to immediately say "Can't do it". But, sensing Lewes' solemn gaze,
[Subaru: ――――]
The words just stuck in his throat.
[Lewes: This is good. For now… it's good enough]
Seeing Subaru's hesitation and reluctance, as if understanding it all, Lewes nodded her head.
Her appearance was no older than a child's, but it was in moments like this that Subaru understood that she possessed qualities befitting her age.
[Lewes: It seems, my time is almost up]
Leaving these words with a tinge of regret, Lewes' body began to glow with a faint light.
It reminded him of a spirit on the verge of vanishing, he thought, as he reached out his fingers to her, but,
[Lewes: Don't worry. I'm not returning to mana just yet. I'm just going to sleep for a while until I save up the expended mana again. There will be a Lewes to replace me soon]
[Subaru: But… even if your face and voice are all the same, you won't be the same, right?]
[Lewes: I suppose you're right. The looks and tone and personality are meant to be similar... but we're still different people. So, only this old self chatting with Su-bo right now is actually me. Does that make you feel lonely?]
[Subaru: It's not whether I feel lonely or not. Lewes-san... Lewes-san don't you feel sad? Aren't you upset that there are four people taking turns pretending to be Lewes Meyer? Don't you ever wonder where your own life...]
Caught mid-sentence, Subaru realized just how cruel his questions were.
Even if Lewes herself thought this way, even if she truly suffered and grieved over her circumstances, Subaru knew full well that there was nothing he could do about it.
He had no grasp of arcane principles, detailed knowledge of mana, or even the most superficial understanding of magical algorithms. So what was the point of reaching out to these unreachable regrets?
Lewes seemed to understand his conflicting thoughts. She gave him a faint smile as her pink hair swayed in the wind, tinted by the colors of dawn.
[Lewes: What do you think, Su-bo?]
[Subaru: ――huh?]
[Lewes: The answer to that question… is just another one of the things I will eagerly expect from you]
Leaving this behind, like a thin haze, Lewes' body melted into the morning light.
No different from a scattering mist, impossible to believe even with the warning beforehand, it was like a scene pulled straight from a dream. A living person simply vanished into the dawn.
Although she told him that she wouldn't cease to exist, he found it hard to take her at her word.
But, in that same instant, the shape of another person appeared where Lewes had vanished. Whether it was stature or appearance, every last detail was identical to the Lewes who disappeared.
She shook her head once and looked up at Subaru,
[Lewes: I shouldn't think I need to reintroduce myself, Su-bo. The previous "me" has filled me in all about you]
As if to clear up Subaru's doubts, with that, the new Lewes updated their mutual understanding. And, at the very end, the girl tilted her head,
[Lewes: So, Su-bo... what will you do first?]
[Subaru: Ah, right...]
He lifted his head.
Watching the light of dawn erode away the night's sky, his thoughts slipped to the time that had passed, as well as the time that still remained to him.
Then his eyes dropped to Lewes and Pico, and,
[Subaru: First thing is to get out of the Sanctuary. I'll need some help from Lewes-sans for that]
And just like this, Subaru submitted his request.
Subaru arrived at the stable just after the break of dawn.
Pushing open the creaking gate as quietly as he could, he searched for his partner inside, and found the jet-black figure blending into the darkness in the back of the stable, awaiting her master's call.
[Subaru: Sorry for cooping you up in here, Patrasche]
Hearing Subaru's voice, Patrasche reached out her head and nudged him with her nose. Her gesture was at once filled with affection and carrying a tinge of complaint at being left aside for so long, prompting a ticklish feeling inside Subaru's heart.
[Subaru: I know you just woke up, but I need your help. Can you take me back to the Mansion?]
Holding her face up to Subaru's palms, Patrasche snorted, as if to say "What 'am I going to do with you, Subaru-kun...".
Sighing with relief that at least his dragon was on board with his plan, Subaru untied Patrasche's reins from the stable and prepared to bring her outside.
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Without other encumbrances weighing her down, the usual half a day's ride might be completed in even less.
If they set out in the morning like this, they should reach the Mansion just before dusk.
[Subaru: Just a messy plan assuming I'll start over anyway...]
This time, Subaru was determined to return to the Mansion, and, unlike the loops before this, he wasn't going to bring the villagers. Frankly, it was because he was convinced that he would be doing it all again, and had resolved to eliminate all unnecessary variables aside from the goal of gathering information.
The loss of the friendship he had struck up with Lewes would be regrettable, but,
[Subaru: My relationship with Garfiel is already as horrible as can be, and I'm just about to make it even worse…]
Having transferred the command authority to himself―― Subaru could just imagine Garfiel seething with bloodshot eyes, looking for whoever took it.
It probably wouldn't take long before he finds him. After all, Subaru didn't order Lewes to keep it a secret, and Lewes herself would tell the truth if she was asked.
All this was within Subaru's considerations.
[Subaru: ――Still, can't help but worry about leaving Emilia with just a note]
If this world was only a sacrifice to be erased as soon as it was rewound, then logically, his concerns for Emilia in this world shouldn't even exist.
No matter how much she suffers, grieves, or otherwise rejoices, all of it will be lost along with the world itself. But, even though his mind understood this,
[Subaru: It's still no excuse at all…]
Even knowing that this was a soon-to-be-abandoned world, Subaru still didn't want to make Emilia cry.
Finding out that he had left without a word would likely bring her more pain than she could bear. Losing the only support she could lean on, she probably wouldn't know what to do with herself. While a part of him was glad that Emilia relied on him like this, it still hurt all the same.
In order to make sure that doesn't happen, or at least hoping that it wouldn't last too long if it did, Subaru left her a note.
That said, there was nothing special written inside, only an assortment of run-of-the mill words of consolation. Since he couldn't tell her the truth, it was all he could do to try to keep her from worrying.
[Subaru: It's better than nothing... wait, what if Emilia doesn't actually need me that much?]
Ever since Puck went missing, Emilia had been relying on Subaru more than ever before.
So that thought was only wishful thinking, and he knew it couldn't be as simple as that.
In any case, Subaru must leave the Sanctuary and leave Emilia behind. In order to rewrite the unsalvageable present with a future that could yet be saved, he would have to harden his heart and make the necessary sacrifices.
[Subaru: Before anyone notices, let's... oh?]
While leading Patrasche out of the stables, Subaru picked up the saddle he had stored away in the carriage. Giving it a light pat, he threw it over Patrasche, when he caught something in the corner of his vision. It was,
[Subaru: Petelgeuse' Gospel...?]
A thick book in black binding, hidden away in the corner of the carriage.
Once belonging to Petelgeuse, honestly, Subaru had wanted to get rid of it, but he couldn't exactly hand it off to other people. Besides, he figured it might reveal some useful information about the obscure Witch Cult, and so ended up keeping it.
[Subaru: Come to think of it, that view's kinda changed after what Roswaal said]
After fitting on the saddle, Subaru casually picked up the Gospel.
Feeling its dense weight in his palm, the image of the blood-drenched madman surfaced in his mind.
A man with an overzealous devotion to the Gospel, believing that it was his only way to express his loyalty to the Witch.
Inside, like some poor parody, its pages hinted at its owner Petelgeuse' future actions.
[Subaru: Roswaal, Beatrice, and Petelgeuse... why're they so convinced that only they could read this thing...?]
Grumbling, he casually flipped through its pages.
But suddenly, his fingers froze, as a strange, strangled noise escaped his throat――
[Subaru: I can, read it?]
――When he realized that he could read the words written on the Gospel's white pages.
Although the letters were something like a child's scrawling, they lined up to form words that carried meaning. What was more, those words were in the form of "Yi" glyphs that Subaru could understand.
[Subaru: How could... unless, it's recognized me as its owner? But I didn't do anything to...]
At that thought, Subaru suddenly noticed something.
The last time he tried and failed to read this Gospel's contents was before he came to the Sanctuary. It had been in the Capital, and after returning to Roswaal's Mansion. Since then, he hadn't had a chance to open the Gospel to check, but it could only be related to something that took place in the Sanctuary.
Although, the direct cause might be something that didn't exactly happen in the Sanctuary.
Namely,
[Subaru: What the hell did Echidona do to me...?]
Just like the Trials inside the Tomb, there was a good chance that Echidona had tampered with his physical body in some way. He had a feeling that it had something to do with the tea Echidona gave him at her so-called tea party.
Echidona was joking about it being her bodily fluids, but what if it was something else?
Something that drastically changed Subaru's body from before.
[Subaru: Actually, I don't know if that's the reason, considering all that's happened last loop]
It could have just as easily been caused by the Witch of Envy's wrath after he revealed Return by Death to Echidona.
Subaru hated the fact that he couldn't go there and ask her this very moment.
[Subaru: ...Then again, it might not have accepted me as its owner after all]
Being recognized by a Gospel belonging to the Witch Cult doesn't exactly put one's mind at ease, but, after quickly scanning over its contents, Subaru determined that all the messages were meant for Petelgeuse.
Since it was undated, Subaru couldn't tell when the events of the first entry took place. But from the Gospel's page after page of scribbled accounts, a picture of Petelgeuse' activities began to take shape.
The entries were basically "where to go" and "what to do", but contained no description of what would happen as a result. Perhaps Petelgeuse had no interest in the outcomes, and merely improvised the rest by doing whatever he thought benefited the Witch Cult.
Reading on like this, he came to the final entry.
Though there were more pages after it, they were all blank after this point. On the final page, there were still the crimson words "THE END" which Subaru had scrawled in blood.
Before that, was the Gospel's last original entry:
[Subaru: "Go to Mathers Domain, put silver-haired Half-Witch to Trial"...huh. What's that supposed to mean?]
Without knowing what the "Trial" would entail, Subaru could gather no information aside from that Petelgeuse was to attack Emilia.
Nonetheless, Subaru had managed to confirm that Petelgeuse' atrocities were indeed committed in accordance to the Gospel's instructions.
[Subaru: ...Right, my bad my bad. Let's get going]
Watching Subaru lean against the carriage, Patrasche gave him a few impatient nudges with her snout. Giving her a wry smile, Subaru placed the Gospel back in its original spot in the carriage.
Consigning what he had just witnessed into memory, his mind began drifting onto other concerns.
Specifically, escaping the Sanctuary and returning to the Mansion.
[Subaru: Hopefully we can get out without causing a stir in the Sanctuary. So take it nice and quiet, ok?]
[Patrasce: ――――NGHH!!]
As Subaru climbed onto her saddle, Patrasche let out a high-spirited neigh in response to her master's request.
Getting the feeling that his partner didn't understand his request at all, Subaru calmed the overexcited Patrasche and set the course straight for the edge of the Sanctuary.
He could already begin to see the sun's true form in the distant, eastern sky, showering its light upon the tops of the forest canopy. If he doesn't hurry, the early risers will soon be up, making his flight far more difficult without the cover of night.
Just as Subaru tried to carefully give Patrasche a signal to accelerate, Patrasche broke into a sprint. The Divine Protection of Wind Evasion activated around the ground dragon's body, shielding Subaru from the turbulence and the wind.
Shooting out of the Sanctuary, they entered the forest. Following paths no wider than animal trails, Patrasche unhesitatingly galloped in the direction of the Mansion. Same as always, though Subaru was holding the reins, Patrasche navigated by her own volition, choosing the paths she believed to be best for her master.
Though it made him feel a tinge of loneliness, there was nothing else to do except to leave it to Patrasche's discretion. Grasping tightly onto the reins, contracting the muscles of his body, they merged into a single shadow speeding through the forest. If nothing stands in the way, they should come out of the forest within an hour, leaving the bounds of the Sanctuary behind them. But,
[Garfiel: JUST... HOLD'ON A GODDAMN MINUTE, OY!!]
A heel slamming down from above shot into the surface of the earth, shattering the ground in a violent blast.
Patrasche gouged her claws into the soil to brake in front of the upheaval of dust and timber. To prevent Subaru from flying off her back, she shifted her weight with supernatural dexterity before coming to a full stop, glaring at the path ahead.
At the same time, enduring the shock on Patrasche's back, Subaru turned his gaze to the same direction.
[Garfiel: You... what the fuck were you thinking, th'hell were you planning, hah? OY!]
Boiling rage flushing onto his face, Garfiel kicked his foot into the ground.
Crumpling his nose, with frustration and displeasure in full display, he bared his fangs at Subaru, who was looking down at him from Patrasche's back,
[Garfiel: Don't fuckin' look down on me, get down. Come to th'same eye-level n'speak. Get started or I crush ya, y'bastard...]
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[Subaru: I had a feeling you'd get in the way, Garfiel]
[Garfiel: And I never thought y'd do somethin' this fuckin' stupid! Y'think y'can turn tail 'n run? Don't make me laugh! You! Th'Sanctuary! Th'half-witch n'Roswaal! Everyone! Yer all in the same fuckin' lot! 'Til the fuckin' Trial is done, no one gets out...]
[Subaru: Is that your excuse?]
[Garfiel: ――――]
Garfiel's expression, flustered with rage, suddenly changed in front of Subaru's concise question.
His seething glare sharpened while the intermittent sound of clenching teeth broke through his silent breaths.
[Subaru: Garfiel, you act like you want to keep us in the Sanctuary, and want us to complete the Trials... but that's not what you really feel, is it?]
[Garfiel: Th'fuck's that supposed to mean, oy]
[Subaru: Doesn't mean a thing. If you really hope to liberate the Sanctuary, you should let me do what I have to do. But you won't, and you can't, not yet, because there are more complicated factors at play. Am I wrong?]
[Garfiel: Hah, don't give me that bullshit. I just can't stand y'reekin of th'Witch's stench without doin' somethin' ab...]
[Subaru: You… can't really smell the Witch's stench on me, can you?]
Once again, Garfiel fell speechless in front of Subaru's question.
His eyes swam and his lips began to quiver. Truly a man who couldn't hide his heart. Seeing his reaction, Subaru smiled bitterly, and,
[Subaru: What's really been bothering me was when I came out of the Tomb last night. Honestly, at that moment, I thought you were going to kill me before I'd even have a chance, but you didn't]
[Garfiel: ...Hah? Th'fuck're y'talkin' about?]
[Subaru: You don't know what I mean? I'm starting to have doubts about whether you've been lying about that sharp nose of yours]
It was immediately following Returning by Death, after dying from contact with the Witch, no less.
Even though Subaru must have been soaked to the bone in the Witch's scent, Garfiel's attitude towards him didn't change at all. Yet, not long after they parted, he came back to confront Subaru as if he had just remembered it, leading to their exchange last night. ――It was just all too unnatural.
[Subaru: Maybe you didn't want to escalate the situation so you pretended not to notice, that was what I thought at the time... but, considering your straightforward personality, I had to rule out that possibility]
[Garfiel: Y're getting pretty far with yer conceited speculations. Y'think I'm lyin' 'bout smellin' the Witch's stench on ya? Hah, how fuckin' stupid is that!? Why th'hell would I lie about somethin' like that, oy? What's the point o'...]
[Subaru: Of course there's a point. By claiming this, you're drawing all the suspicion to yourself... and diverting attention away from the actual person with the sharp nose]
[Garfiel: ――――]
That single statement must have struck the heart of Garfiel's true intentions.
The moment he heard it, Garfiel's face contorted in the truest sense of the word.
His willingness to resolve matters through dialogue up to now was suddenly replaced by one of violence and impulse.
Garfiel's arms swelled, doubling in thickness. Golden fur began to cover his exposed skin as his slouching back hunched even deeper, ever closer to standing on all fours.
[Garfiel: I've heard enough of yer prattlin'. Looks like y'know somethin' y'shoudn't. I'd have avoided it if I could, but looks like I can't let y'live]
[Subaru: Don't say that, Garfiel. You might want to hear me out for a little longer. Otherwise, you won't know how your secrets got leaked, right?]
[Garfiel: My secrets...?]
Stared down by Subaru's intensified glare, Garfiel let slip a voice of doubt.
To wipe away Garfiel's disbelief, Subaru lifted his arm atop Patrasche's back, and gave a loud snap of his fingers. Then,
[Garfiel: A, ah?]
Garfiel groaned, doubting the sight before his eyes.
On the other end of his vision, at Subaru's beckon, one by one, Lewes Meyer copies emerged from the treeline, gathering around the ground dragon until there was twenty-one in all.
Personally restaging the scene he had once witnessed before, Subaru pointed his finger towards Garfiel,
[Subaru: Now that you've seen it, do you more or less understand my position here?]
[Garfiel: How... how th'hell did y'find that place!]
[Subaru: Using regret and pain as the sacrifice, I've summoned the truth. Now, it's my turn]
Raising his palm to the sky, Subaru looked down at the defeated Garfiel from atop his dragon.
On the receiving end of his gaze, Garfiel's throat froze, as if unable to come to terms with the reality of having been beaten.
[Subaru: The command authority has transferred to me. So that you wouldn't notice, I told them to follow your orders for the rest of the night]
[Garfiel: ――a]
[Subaru: But there's no need to hide it anymore. Listen up, Garfiel. I am going to leave the Sanctuary and head back to the Mansion. There are things I have to do. So I can't have you getting in the way]
Just now realizing the implications of Subaru's order, Garfiel's expression collapsed.
The firm determination of moments ago had melted from his face, and, in its place, was only an expression of weakness and confusion like that of a lost child.
His body's beastification had ceased, and the swollen figure shrank back to its original, scrawny form.
[Subaru: Don't follow, Garfiel. There's a mountain of things I want to ask you as well, but it's best if we leave it till later. The command authority too, there're way too many things I need to ask you]
[Garfiel: Quit... quit jokin' around. Y'think I'm gonna give up that easily...?]
[Subaru: You will. Deep down, you're just that soft]
At Subaru's provocation, Garfiel leaped forth with a roar. Baring his fangs, his momentum seemed to be set on crushing Subaru and Patrasche in a single strike. But there, a tiny figure stepped in between them.
A replicant. Garfiel swung his arm as if to swipe her away to clear the path of advance or else run her over. But, just before his arm made contact,
[Lewes: ――Gar-bo]
[Garfiel: ――!?]
Being called by his nickname, Garfiel's expression changed once more, as he reined in his arm at the last moment to strike at empty air. And, just like this, Garfiel's body was caught mid-flight by a multitude of hands, pulling him to the ground without resistance.
The replicants reached out all over Garfiel's body and held him under total restraint. Then, standing above Garfiel's despondent face, looking down,
[Lewes: Now, is that enough of a head start, Su-bo?]
[Subaru: Yeah, thanks for the help. I don't think Garfiel ever expected something like this]
During their battle against the Witch of Envy, Garfiel never hesitated in using the replicants as sacrificial pawns in his attack. But back then, there was no conscious Lewes Meyer at the scene. The active Lewes at the time must have already been swallowed by the Witch's shadow, but Subaru suspected that there might be another reason as well.
With a calculation that could be said to be beyond cruel,
[Subaru: You can't treat the Lewes you see as family the same way you treat the other replicants. If there's a difference between how you and I use the control authority, that would be it]
[Garfiel: Y'motherfucker――!!!!]
[Subaru: But, even if not for that, you still couldn't destroy Lewes Meyer replicants with your own hands, right? So, be good and let me off this time. It could be worse]
[Garfiel: How can it get worse than it already is! Quit fuckin' with me, y'quit fuckin' with me!]
Hearing the barks echo out into the horizon, Subaru consciously ignored it as he gave Patrasche a few taps on her back. Sensing Subaru's intention, the ground dragon gave a little snort, turned her back to the restrained Garfiel, and headed for the bounds of the forest.
Before leaving, Subaru turned back to Lewes, and,
[Subaru: I made you do something disagreeable, sorry about that]
[Lewes: I can tell that it must be necessary. As unpleasant as it is, I wouldn't have refused. There's no need to worry about me]
[Subaru: Still, sorry]
Subaru left this apology as Lewes turned to Garfiel with a look of sympathy. With that as his farewell, he signaled Patrasche to get going.
Once again, with the activation of the Divine Protection, all noise and wind were left behind them.
[Garfiel: Wait! Stop! Y'motherfucker! Quit fuckin' around, oy!!]
The distant voice hounded Subaru's trail.
As if to shake off its pursuit, Patrasche accelerated once more, carrying Subaru through the forest and out of the Sanctuary.
[Garfiel: Let go! Y'can't let that guy outside... why, whywhywhy! Granny y'rather take that guy's side than mine? Why, just why...]
[Lewes: ――――]
[Garfiel: GRANDMAAAA――!!!!]
A wail, as if at a loved one's betrayal, resounded through the forest.
Leaving it and all else behind him, Subaru kept his course amidst the passing trees.
Necessary sacrifices, and necessary sorrows, all stepping stones towards the perfect future.
Biting down on the corner of his lips and feeling blood trickling out of the gash, Subaru wrote off Garfiel's despair as another sacrifice.
-=