Part 1
It'd be a bit of a pain to find my way back after having a few drinks, so I ended up spending the night at Succubus Lingerie.
Then, next morning.
What awaited me as I made my way back to Megumin's house was-
"Sorry, I've come to pick up our two idiots."
For some reason, I've come to the guardroom of the Crimson Demon Defense Corps.
"Oh, it's good that you're here. Hurry up and take the two of them away."
The leader of the Defense Corps, Bukkoroli the NEET, I believe, seemed quite exhausted.
I turned towards the two of them who were locked up in the cell and said.
"… I'm really reluctant to do so, but I'm here to pick you up."
"Where did you disappear off to last night, Kazuma? If you were here, we would've been able to avoid the Defense Corps with Enemy Detection and Lurk."
Beside Megumin who said such rebellious words was…
"… You know, I really expected you to stop her."
"I have nothing to say…"
Darkness, blushing bright red all the way to her ears, buried her face between her knees.
Apparently, these two went off to complete Megumin's daily routine after I went to the pub.
"This will happen every day as long as I stay here, you know? So it's best if everyone would just get used to it."
"I have no idea what you're saying."
Bukkoroli seemed utterly confused by Megumin's words.
"Well, this girl claims that she'll die if she doesn't cast Explosion every day. The town of Axel is now treating it like a natural occurrence of sorts."
"I really don't get what you're talking about at all."
A problem child that stumps even the Crimson Demons who seemed like they wouldn't be perturbed by anything.
"Well, I guess it can't be helped. I'll try to finish it as early as possible from today onwards, so please inform the other villagers so that they won't be surprised."
… …
"Say, I don't suppose you could keep her here until we're done with the trial? I can even pay you a fee if you want."
"Please don't, the Defense Corps isn't a daycare for problem children. Please properly do your job as a guardian…"
"Hey, would you please stop treating a tender young girl as a troublemaker!?"
The troublemaker shouted from within the cell.
Next to her, an embarrassed Darkness tried to make herself look as small as possible-
"- It doesn't seem like we can take the Chieftain's trial just yet. The grounds for the first trial have yet to be fully repaired…"
After retrieving Darkness and Megumin, we met up with Aqua who went to fetch Yunyun, and she apologetically informed me.
"What do you mean the trial grounds aren't prepared yet? I've only been away for a short while, but it seems like the villagers have really let themselves go since then."
Megumin sighed as though it had nothing to do with her.
"You were the one who destroyed the grounds in the first place! Actually, if Megumin could go somewhere else to play while the trial is going on…"
"Hey, why don't you tell me exactly why are you treating me like an outcast!?"
Faced with Megumin's sudden angry outburst, Yunyun frantically waved her hands.
"N-No, I'm not treating you like an outcast… It's just, considering your personality, there's no way you'll behave yourself during the trial… and if there's a place to show off at the end of the trial, there's no way you can restrain yourself, right?"
"Yeah, makes sense." x3
"Don't just agree with her! Do you guys think I'm some sort of feral beast or something!?"
"Did you just forget where you were five minutes ago? Most people never see the insides of a jail cell."
Megumin hastily averted her gaze.
"Still, that doesn't leave us with much to do. We already walked around the Crimson Demon Village the last time we were here, so what should we do now?"
According to Yunyun, they should be able to retake the trial tomorrow.
I guess we could go back to Axel until then…
Just as everyone was deep in thought-
"I want to plant this girl in the forest."
Aqua had a longing in her voice as she hugged the pot that now housed the Tranquility Girl.
Come to think of it, we did want to do that, didn't we?
"Umm… As a Crimson Demon myself, it's a little troubling if you plant it close to the village… If possible, I think it's best to exterminate it…"
Yunyun started, but Aqua pushed the Tranquility Girl close to her face and said,
"Can you really kill a girl this young!? Was Yunyun always such a cold-hearted person!? Come on, look her in the eye and say that again!!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's impossible, forgive me!"
Part 2
"Let's put her on that hill overlooking the village. She won't get lonely that way…"
"Aqua-san, that's the Hill of the Demon God. It's a popular spot for couples, so we can't put her there. How about placing her deeper in the forest?"
Together with Aqua who was looking for a place to plant the Tranquillity Girl, we toured around the Crimson Demon Village.
"This is starting to be a chore. Why don't we just plant her in Yunyun's backyard? The people who live here won't fall for the Tranquility girl's tricks, so why don't we just turn her into a new tourist attraction and be done with it?"
"As expected of Kazuma. She won't be lonely like this, and Yunyun will end up making a friend too. It really is perfect."
"I think it's perfect too. I'll properly treasure her."
"What kind of stupid things are you saying!? Yunyun too, don't agree so readily! Making friends with monsters is the one line you shouldn't cross!"
They were just one step away from falling for it, but Megumin hastily interjected.
"Say, Megumin, I thought of something that I'd do once I become the chief."
"W-Where did this come from…? What do you have in mind?"
Towards the hesitant Megumin, Yunyun somewhat bashfully said,
"I've been thinking about this for some time. Is it possible to capture monsters that have high intelligence and are capable of communicating to create a monster ranch in the village…"
"Isn't that the same as what Kazuma was thinking!? Are you planning on turning them into experience points once they are grown up!?"
Megumin grabbed onto Yunyun's chest and started shaking her, but Yunyun hastily denied.
"T-That isn't it! If they are provided with food, clothing and shelter, I'm sure the intelligent monsters will have a change of heart! This is the first step in finding a path of coexistence between mankind and monsters…!"
"What do you mean by coexistence!? What a barefaced lie! Do you want friends so badly that you'll even turn monsters into NEETs!?"
"Of course I do! Isn't that obvious!?"
Yunyun finally admitted it.
Ignoring the two of them who started fighting, I racked my brains over what to do with the Tranquility Girl.
"You know, I really don't think there's any option other than to put her in the forest far away from the village…"
"But she'd be lonely if we do that. Come to think of it, do Tranquility Girls have a gathering spot or something of the sort? She wouldn't be lonely if we plant her next to others of her kind."
"If such wicked creatures do have a gathering spot, I would burn it all to the ground."
"Kazuma, you fiend! You'll scare this girl, so go away!"
Watching Aqua try and forcefully shove me away, the Tranquility Girl stretched her tiny hands at us and laughed-
-Outside the gates of the Crimson Demon Village lies a large mountain range and vast forest.
We were deep inside that forest right now…
"Waaaah! Yunyun! Yunyun!"
"Light of Saber!"
The One Strike Bear that was attacking Aqua was instantly taken care of by Yunyun.
"Snipe! Snipe! Snipe! Ahh, Yunyun! Yunyun! Save me!"
"Lightning Strike!"
The giant tree-like monsters that surrounded us were turned to charcoal upon being hit by Yunyun's lightning.
"Oh! Those are the famous Paralyze Slimes! It's a dangerous monster that paralyzes its prey before taking its time to digest it with its acidic body! Ordinary people would be dissolved along with their equipment, but if I were to be caught, my clothes and armor would go first! But don't worry, Kazuma, I won't give in to such humiliation…"
"Inferno!"
The horde of slimes that were slowly approaching Darkness were swept away in a sea of flames.
"… Yunyun, can I have a word?"
Ignoring Aqua who was putting out the smouldering flames and Darkness who was cradling the remains of the slimes while crying, Megumin, who was at the rear of our party, started.
"What's wrong, Megumin? I'm busy looking out for monsters with my Search spell right now… Ah, there are some monsters lurking around a short distance away from us. Leave it to me, I'll wipe them all out in an instant."
"You don't need to! Actually, what's with you today? You're being unusually aggressive."
We've received a warm welcome from the monsters living around the Crimson Demon Village ever since we entered the forest, but there were easily taken care off thanks to Yunyun.
"Do you really think so…? I mean, thinning out the monsters who are living around the village is also one of the duties of the chief, right? Plus I still have plenty of mana to spare, and I've brought plenty of manatite in case I run out…"
"You're way too into this! Which country are you planning on going to war with by bring so many high quality manatite with you!? We're a party, so there's no need for you to charge on ahead!"
Megumin waved her staff and lectured Yunyun who brought out several stones from her pocket.
But Yunyun simply broke out into a huge smile…
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"Party… Hehe, Ehehe…"
"Stop doing that, it's creepy! Why are you smiling when someone is lecturing you!? It's rude!"
Seems like being accepted into a proper party for once has made Yunyun really motivated for this.
"Isn't it fine? We should be thankful to Yunyun for taking all of them out. There's no danger to us, and it's smooth sailing, so there's nothing to lecture her about."
"Slime… Slime… Paralyze Slime…"
Let's just ignore the one who's mumbling something with a sorrowful expression.
"There absolutely is! If Yunyun hogs the spotlight, there won't be any chance for me to shine! I'm going to find strong monsters around here to use my Explosion on!"
"What did you come home to do!? We aren't here to adventure or raise your levels, you know!?"
Perhaps realizing that the safest place to be is by her side, Aqua stuck extremely close to Yunyun as she interjected.
"Say, Kazuma, Megumin is being really troublesome, so let's just let her shoot her Explosion off somewhere and carry her the rest of the way."
"Yeah, she'd be less likely to do something unnecessary if she were to transform into luggage, so let's do that."
"I didn't expect Aqua to say that! I won't fire it off here! I came back home after all this time, so I am definitely not going to blow it on some small fry!"
Just when I sighed while thinking of how to lecture Megumin who was saying such selfish things-
The hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up.
"EXPLOSION!"
The Explosion spell that Megumin casted without chanting snaked its way past the trees in an exquisite demonstration of control and exploded deep in the forest.
"What are you doing!?"
Yunyun screamed as the blastwave sent her flying along with battering down the trees around us.
Part 3
"Hey, I heard a really loud noise coming from the forest…"
Bukkoroli, standing at the entrance of the village, asked us as we returned.
"Megumin's brain fried itself."
"Wait, please, I know it's my fault for letting loose without warning, but as I've said before, there's a proper reason for that!"
Megumin hastily started making excuses in response to Aqua's words.
"Yeah, yeah, sure you had a reason. Did you get too irritated? Or were you surprised after seeing a giant bug?"
"This man!"
And started strangling me from behind as I was piggybacking her.
"You just want us to listen to your excuses, right!? Stop stalling and tell us already!"
"Ugh… But you guys definitely won't believe me…."
Megumin started mumbling as Yunyun put on the pressure.
"I know that you won't say anything irresponsible. Don't worry, even if the others won't believe you, I'll properly hear you out."
"Darkness…"
Ignoring the two who were re-enacting a really touching scene right now, Bukkoroli once again asked.
"So, what exactly happened?"
Megumin assumed a serious expression and started…
"The Bomber Majin Moguninnin appeared."
"If you are going to say such stupid things, I'll throw you off!"
I moved to lower Megumin from my back, and she clung onto me even tighter to prevent me from doing so.
"That why I didn't want to say it! I knew none of you will believe it! Darkness, please lecture this man!"
"Er… umm… Well, I'm not that familiar with monsters… So Moganinnin was about to attack us. As expected of Megumin, you did a great job."
"You didn't even remember the name right, and your voice is completely monotone! Darkness, I thought I could trust you!"
Bukkoroli let out a sigh.
"Claiming that Moguninnin appeared of all things… couldn't you have found a better excuse?"
"Leaving other monsters aside, there's no way I of all people could mistake any monsters that are related to Explosion! Moguninnin was staring at Kazuma from the depths of the forest! It's that Bomber Majin we are talking about, so I doubt that my chantless Explosion could've destroyed it."
Judging from the unusually serious atmosphere that the Crimson Demons had about them, I'm starting to get the feeling that this whole thing isn't just a joke.
"Just what is a Bomber Majin? You didn't come up with it just to mess with us, did you?"
Megumin shook her head.
"Bomber Majin Moguninnin. It's a mysterious monster that used to lie in a certain Mysterious Facility within the Crimson Demon Village. It is well versed in Detonation magic and can talk in a halting imitation of human speech, but no one can understand what it's saying. It'll attack anyone it sees apart from Crimson Demons, and will unleash Detonations without rhyme or reason at night."
"That sounds like it has a really problematic personality. So, you're saying that mysterious monster that sounds like it could be one of your cousins had its eye on me?"
Detonation Magic is a weaker version of Explosion Magic.
If a monster that can use that is coming after me…
Just then, Bukkoroli said,
"The Bomber Majin Moguninnin doesn't usually come out from the depths of the forest, though…"
"You didn't come up with that just so you'd have an excuse to let off your Explosion every day during your stay here, did you!?"
"How could you say that!? Do you really think I'll come up with such a ridiculous story just because I wanted to let loose with my Explosion!?"
Hearing Megumin say such things without even a shred a credibility, Bukkoroli shrugged.
"Megumin was always saying strange things. Stuff like seeing a mysterious glowing object fly off towards the east, or that she was a God of Destruction in her previous life, or that a mage who uses Explosion will end up with big breasts…"
"You don't believe a word of what I've said, do you!? You sure are bold for a NEET!"
"S-Shut up, me being a NEET has nothing to do with this! Anyway, stop using your Explosion magic in the forest. It gets really troublesome when you rile up all the monsters like that. At least behave yourself while the Chief's trial is going on."
After saying that, Bukkoroli left us and went off on his way.
"-Bomber Majin Moguninnin really was there. Kazuma, you mustn't leave the village. Moguninnin has it in for all non-Crimson Demon men, particularly those with black hair and eyes."
"Why does it have a grudge against such a particular target? In the first place, it doesn't come out from the depths of the forest, right? Are you sure you didn't misidentify a giant rhinoceros beetle or something?"
"There's no way I could've mistaken a beetle for the Bomber Majin! Anyway, Kazuma, don't participate as a partner in the Crimson Demon Trial. I've also been asked not to participate, so just leave it to Darkness or Aqua to be Yunyun's partner."
"Leave it to me."
"Wait a minute, that'll be a problem for me! Ah, no, I don't mean I don't want to partner with you two or anything!"
Darkness gently smiled at the panicking Yunyun.
"The duty of a Crusader is to protect others. Don't worry, just leave it to me. I'll definitely protect you."
"D-Darkness-san…"
"There's nothing you need to worry about with me here. Even if you get killed by a powerful monster, I'll bring you right back with Resurrection."
"Aqua-sa… No, I'd prefer it if we didn't have to use Resurrection in the first place…"
Yunyun's expression seems to be stuck between being touched and something else.
"Eh-… Trials and partners and all that gives it a proper fantasy feel for once, so I really want to give it my all…"
"Just watch the house with me, Kazuma. I'll guide you around the village. There's a pub that the parents of a classmate of mine runs."
"Can we not go there? There's a troublesome person staying over there."
And thus, despite coming over to the Crimson Demon Village, I ended up being a NEET.
"Say, we didn't manage to find a place to plant this girl…"
"Ah." x4
Part 4
That night.
"So, yeah, I really don't have much to do tomorrow, so is there anything I could do to help out?"
I offered to help Megumin's mother after coming home.
I'm not at all like the thick-skinned goddess who appropriated the warmest spot in the house and took an afternoon nap like she owned the place.
Since she's letting me stay over, this is the least I can do to repay her.
"Oh, my, you're offering to help? I'm going to gather materials for creating magic items from the deepest dungeon in this country tomorrow…"
"Sorry, is there something easier, like laundry or dishes that you could use some help with instead?"
Seems like it's a little to early for me to be helping with their work.
"In that case, I'm a little concerned about Moguninnin, so would you like to explore that Mysterious Facility tomorrow?"
"Are you still stuck on that strangely named monster?"
Yunyun will undertake the Chieftain's trial from tomorrow onwards, and her partner for the first trial will be Darkness.
"I wanna go too! The name 'Mysterious Facility' makes it sound like there'd be a ton of treasures hidden within it!"
Aqua, who was happily helping herself to a drink, cheerfully said.
"I've heard that it's been explored many times in the past, so there probably wouldn't be much left."
A mysterious facility whose reason for existence is unknown to even the Crimson Demons.
I've heard that it's been turned into a tourist attraction…
"Come on, isn't it fine to act like proper adventurers and go exploring every once in a while? Plus, with Kazuma's luck, we might end up finding something good."
"… Why must you choose precisely the times when I'm not around to act like proper adventurers…"
Darkness muttered to herself, regret slightly creeping into her voice.
"Right, let's turn in early in preparation for tomorrow. Don't get too drunk now, Aqua. Now, then, I'll go on ahead…"
Saying that, Megumin stood up and made her way back to her room-
"Yes, I suppose it'd be best to turn in early. Sorry, Kazuma-san, we don't have much in the way of entertainment in my house… Though, playing around with my daughter in the same room should be pretty entertaining, heheheh."
Megumin's face cringed at Yuiyui's words.
"What is this parent of mine saying!? Just what are you asking your daughter to do!?"
Yuiyui seemed unperturbed by Megumin's sudden outburst.
"When we talk about entertainment out in the countryside like this, there's only one thing I could be referring to. Hurry up and let me see the face of my grandchild."
"Please stop making lewd jokes in front of your daughter! Kazuma, you say something too!"
"Well, from a physical standpoint, I think it's a little too early for your daughter to be giving birth. Maybe after she grows up a little more…"
"I'm already grown up enough to bear a child! No, wait, that's not- Ah, what should I…"
I calmly admonished Megumin as she started making a fuss.
"It's already night out, so do try and keep it down. Also, you really should choose your words better. It'd be really embarrassing if the neighbours hear you say that you can bear a child and what not."
"I don't want to hear that from you! Just whose fault do you think it is in the first place!?"
"By the way, physically speaking, I think my body is ready to bear a child at any time."
"What kind of stupid things are you saying now, Darkness!? Don't butt in and go to sleep already!"
"Sleep."
Megumin collapsed to the ground in response to Yuiyui's incantation.
The person who put her daughter to sleep without any reservations smiled brightly at me.
"Now, now, whatever happens next is completely up to you! The nights are long around this time of year, so go ahead and do as you please!"
"I'm sorry, even for me, laying hands upon a sleeping girl's body is a little…"
As I was trying to gently turn down Yuiyui who was pushing her daughter to me, Darkness suddenly stood up.
"Such stuff should be done with the consent of both parties! I definitely cannot accept them crossing the line like this! Even if you are her mother-"
"Sleep."
Yuiyui cast her spell on Darkness without even looking at her.
"… Even if you are her mother, I can't overlook that! The duty of a Crusader is to protect others. I'll protect Megumin's chastity!"
Darkness has strong willpower, high magic resistance and is resistant to bad status effects.
"Y-You managed to resist it!? My sleep is supposed to be fairly powerful…"
Yuiyui seemed quite surprised that Darkness managed to resist her spell.
"Tch…! Seems like you've leveled up quite a bit since the last time you were here!"
"Hmph, do you really think the same trick would work on a member of the Dustiness house twice!? Is Sleep the only spell you can cast!? Go ahead and render me helpless if you can!"
After saying such impressive lines, Darkness squared up against Yuiyui…!
"Then how about this? Paralyze!"
"Weak! The Paralyze Slimes I saw in the forest today could put out a better numbing attack!"
Behind the triumphant Darkness, Aqua was lying dead drunk on the floor.
Ignoring all three of them, I carried the sleeping Megumin to her room–
Part 5
A ray of moonlight shone through the window.
It fell upon Megumin's gentle sleeping face, illuminating her in the darkness.
Of course, as a gentleman, I wouldn't lay a hand on her.
Using my own arm as a pillow, I laid down next to her and watched over her peaceful sleeping face.
"… Mmm…. Behold my power… Release the forbidden seal… lay waste to all creation…"
Mumbling something that's in no way peaceful at all, Megumin rolled over in her bed.
Perhaps noticing something off with me sleeping next to her, she slowly opened her eyes-
"… Sorry, can I ask what are you doing?"
"I was watching the sleeping face of the person I love."
Megumin jumped off the bed.
"What do you mean person you love!? Why are you naked from the waist up!?"
"Well, when you wake up next to a half naked person of the opposite gender, you would normally think that something happened, right?"
After distancing herself from me, Megumin hastily patted her body down to check for anything off.
"Of course! Isn't this a really big deal!? Ah, wait, my bra is missing!?"
"I thought you might have trouble sleeping if you had something constricting your chest. Also, I heard that you'll grow bigger breasts if you sleep without a bra."
I pointed over by the bedside, and Megumin grasped the bra placed over there tightly in her hand.
"I don't need your concern over such matters! You don't usually pay much heed to me, so why are you so concerned only at such times!? Even if it's you, removing my bra while I'm sleeping…"
"Oh, don't worry, I properly removed it with Steal like a gentleman."
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"Oh, how considerate of you! That goofy smile of yours is really infuriating! What would you have done if you accidentally took my panties instead!?"
Covering her body with her robe, she looked a little like a teruterubozu as she squirmed around underneath it.
"Now, now, calm down. It'd be boring if you thought nothing happened despite us sharing the same bed just like all the previous times, so I thought I'd give you a little surprise. Did I scare you?"
"Yeah you did! You really didn't do anything, right!? I don't want to become an adult without remembering any of it!"
Seemingly having finished putting on her bra, Megumin brought both arms out from underneath the robe.
"Don't worry, you know me. I'm not that gutsy."
"That's pretty convincing, but it's quite pathetic to hear that from the person I like!"
Megumin, who had been breathing heavily since she woke up, finally started to calm down.
"Seriously, what kind of person is my mother… Casting Sleep on her daughter and letting her share a bed with a man, just how little common sense does she have…"
"Well, that lack of common sense just means that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
Sighing, Megumin sat down next to me and stretched her legs.
Despite her complains, she still had no qualms about getting close to me. Is this a sign of how close we are?
"I'm not exactly opposed to that sort of relationship, you know? It's just that, crossing the line because of my mother's schemes while in my own home is a little…"
"Well, even if you say that, something will definitely interfere, right? I've been wondering if I'm under some sort of curse to remain a virgin for life. I've asked Aqua to check if I'm actually cursed several times, but she keeps saying I'm fine."
Why exactly does something always end up interfering every single time I'm about to cross the line?
I'm supposed to have high luck too. Isn't it odd?
Though, if it was because Eris-sama is harbouring a secret love for me and is interfering, I might be okay with that…
"Just who exactly would put such a pointless curse on you?"
"There could be quite a few fans who wish for me to keep my purity. I've been exceptionally popular recently. I've heard that a beautiful adventurer who introduced herself as a fan of mine appeared in Axel's adventurer's guild."
Upon hearing those words, Megumin's eye twitched.
"… Will you meet with that person when you return to Axel?"
"Well, it sounds like she travelled a long way to meet me, so of course I'll see her. Anyway, I'll just give her a handshake and a signature and the like. I thought this might happen someday, so I've been practising my signature. I secretly left a signature on one of the pillars in the adventurer's guild as thanks after all they've done for me."
Heheh, so this is what jealousy looks like.
Megumin seemed a little troubled, but occasionally teasing each other like this was one of the methods of courtship that adults practice…
"The guild lady was really angry when she was cleaning it up. She told me to tell you not to scribble all over the walls."
"What!? That pillar would've been able to fetch a high price in a few decades with my signature on it!"
Facing my indignation, Megumin let out a soft giggle.
"Then let me have your first signature… Satou Kazuma… I think that's a very good name."
"Hearing you praise my name makes me feel really conflicted somehow…"
"Hey, I just praised you, so explain exactly what you mean!"
I might have made her angry there, but as the eldest son of the Satou clan, I couldn't just keep quiet.
Just then, despite her complaints, Megumin laid down besides me and used my arm as a pillow.
Doing that despite being alone with me this late at night… she must really trust me.
I would've thought that's she's trying to signal me to do something, but I have the ability to learn from the past.
Plus, doing that sort of thing in the same house where her parents are living is a little…
"Um, Kazuma, can I say something?"
"I don't think you should."
… …
"It's kind of hard for me to say, but it's hitting me. And it's getting bigger…"
"Please don't mind it."
I can't help it, it's a natural physiological reaction.
It'd be stranger still if a boy undergoing puberty doesn't have this sort of reaction when a girl is hugging onto him.
"I should say this, but don't attack my precious son. He's delicate on top of being shy."
"I wouldn't do that over a natural reaction. Plus, I'm the one who hugged you in the first place. Just how unreasonable of a person do you think I am?"
I recall being unreasonably attacked back when something similar happened between Darkness and me.
… Just then, I noticed that Megumin's gaze is focused squarely on a problematic part of my body.
"You're undergoing puberty too, so I can understand having some interest in the body of the opposite sex, but you still shouldn't stare that much."
"Ah, n-no, that's not it! It's just, I thought it might be hard on you on to have to bear with it every time…"
Yeah, it totally is!
And I can't make use of that store now that we're here in the Crimson Demon Village.
At the very least, I'd like five minutes to myself!
"… Umm, should I give you a hand?"
I really wish I'd stop getting subjected to such cockteasing situations-
"Wait, what did you just say?"
"You're taking this way too seriously! I-I asked if I should give you a hand…"
Wait…
"Eromin! You really are a closet pervert like Darkness said!"
"And you're being way too loud! Who exactly is a closet pervert!?"
No, I mean…!
"You were the one who said something really outrageous! Do you understand what you're saying!? You want to give me a hand with this…!"
"Please stop emphasizing that part! I just thought that it's a little hard on you to put up with these sorts of situation all the time, that's all!"
Does this girl understand what she means when she says that?
What does she mean by give me a hand? Does she mean give me something to think about?
Or does she mean something more physical…
No, wait, in the first place…!
"Hearing a girl younger than me with no experience offer to do something like that somehow feels more immoral than the act itself…"
"Your words are getting more and more obscene! You keep saying that I'm a vixen that does nothing but tease you without following through… I'm not very sure what to do, but, well, after getting excited like that, isn't it pretty tough on you…?"
I don't know if it's because she's nervous or excited, but her eyes were glowing bright red before she turned away.
"Of course it's tough! I even thought of you as a complete temptress!"
"Please stop calling me a temptress! I already said I'm fine with it if you'll properly take responsibility!"
What the hell am I talking about while spending the night in the house of a girl who's younger than me?
What exactly am I planning to do after this?
And, I just realized, I'm currently naked from the waist up!
"So are you going to do it or not!? This situation is really embarrassing, you know!?"
"I'm embarrassed too! I'm about to instruct an inexperienced and awkward girl to do all sorts of things right when her mother is sleeping right below, you know!? Just how much do you think I have to pay for this sort of play in the shop!?"
"If you are going to do it, then hurry up and do it already! Stop explicitly spelling things out!"
"You suddenly sprung this on me! I haven't mentally prepared myself! Yeah, yeah, I know, we'll definitely be interrupted right before the good parts! I'm under that sort of curse after all! But even so, I can still get my hopes up! If anything, this sort of bittersweet back and forth is making me more excited!"
"Oh, I get it, I get already, so just take it off! No one has come in even after all the fuss we made, so I'm sure tonight will…"
— Just as Megumin said that.
A loud explosion resounded from the direction of the forest.
The two of us looked at each other.
"…. See?"
"… … … Let's have Aqua cast Break Spell on you tomorrow."
Part 6
The morning after that explosion took away any sense of romance.
"Hey, what exactly is this all about!?"
"That's what we want to ask you, Megumin!"
We were having breakfast and pretending as if nothing happened last night, when Bukkoroli, followed by a few other Crimson Demons, barged in and restrained Megumin.
"I don't know what's happening, but for now can you please let me go? I don't think this is really something you should be doing to a girl."
"… Well, I agree, but can you promise not to run away or start rampaging?"
After confirming Megumin's affirmation, Bukkoroli loosened his grip…
"You let your guard down! I'm going to choke the life out of you!"
"Argh! M-Megumin you liar!"
The moment she was released, Megumin pounced on Bukkoroli and put him in a sleeper hold.
"Would you keep a promise you made to the Demon King's army or monsters? NEETs are existences even lower than slimes! Upholding a promise you made with such a creature is plain retarded!"
"H-Hey, Megumin, that guy is going to die, so let him go! And don't pick on NEETs like that!"
After I restrained Megumin, the other Crimson Demons managed to pry the limp and blue-faced Bukkoroli from her grasp.
Next to us, Aqua was nonchalantly sipping tea as though two Crimson Demons weren't having a wrestling match right beside her.
"So, what's all this about? What has our Megumin done this time?"
The other Crimson Demons turned to face Aqua.
"You know about the explosion that took place in the forest last night, right?"
"We are very sorry! We'll make sure this never happens again! Hey, Megumin, hurry up and apologize!"
Darkness immediately prostrated herself.
"Don't just apologize on your own, Darkness! Actually, stop assuming that it's my fault just because there's an explosion involved!"
Next to the prostrating Darkness, Megumin's words had absolutely zero persuasive power.
"Then exactly who else would do this sort of thing?"
"Well, let's start with establishing Megumin's alibi. Who were you with and what were you doing last night?"
Megumin's face blushed bright red upon hearing the other Crimson Demon's question.
"… I-I can't say that."
She said in a soft, almost inaudible voice.
"See, I knew you were behind it! Apologize for calling me a NEET and strangling me! … Actually, now that I think about it, that rash of explosions some time ago was done by you, right? You were the one who testified that those explosions were caused by a Devil that snuck into the village, right?"
It seems like Megumin had some idea of what Bukkoroli was talking about, the back of her head started overflowing with cold sweat.
"Megumin just reacted! And you can't provide an alibi either, so that means-!"
"Why are you turning on me too, Kazuma!? The reason I can't say it is because I was together with you last night! It's too embarrassing to say out loud!"
The Crimson Demons let out a soft "oh".
"I see… The Megumin I thought of as a younger sister has become an adult before I knew it… Sorry for disturbing your meal…"
"To think that Megumin, of all people… The world really is full of surprises. I had her pegged as the one furthest from any concept of romance…"
"We were just together, we didn't do anything! Please don't spread any strange rumours!"
Megumin's face was bright red as she shouted at the Crimson Demons.
"Just to be sure, it really wasn't you, right?"
"You were there with me, Kazuma! In the first place, I already used Explosion yesterday when we were out trying to find a place to bury the Tranquility Girl, so why are you suspecting me!?"
The three of us fell deep in thought after hearing Megumin's words…
"So what's up with this situation? Is there another Megumin running around or something?"
"She isn't a Slime, and I've never heard of Crimson Demons duplicating like that. Maybe she got her hands on some really high quality manatite without us knowing?"
"I'm not an accomplice, by the way. In the first place, I can't transfer any mana to her without Kazuma."
"Hey, I casted magic right in front of you three and have a proper alibi, so please stop suspecting me!"
After Megumin's outburst, the other Crimson Demons who were listening in seem to have made some sort of realization.
"So, that explosion was…"
"The thing that Megumin was talking about…"
"Bomber Majin Moguninnin!?" x4
"Could you guys please stop saying that name."
So it really wasn't something that Megumin made up?
Come to think of it, I think I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up just before Megumin unleashed her Explosion yesterday. Could it have been my Enemy Detection skill…?
The Crimson Demons surrounding Megumin fell deep into thought.
"If that's the case, now's not the time to be holding the Chieftain's trial. If someone from outside the village gets hurt by that ninin, the number of tourists we get will go down…"
"Let's discuss this with the chief. After that, we should send out a large party to go ninin hunting."
Megumin seemed oddly flustered upon hearing those words.
"H-Hold on a minute, there isn't a particular need to call off the Chieftain's trial, is there?"
"There's no particular rush to choose our next chief, but we need to deal with ninin as soon as possible. Besides, according to tradition, in order to become the next chief, one needs to either successfully complete the trial, or take down an impressive target with just two people. We can just let whoever takes down ninin become the next chief."
"I might consider becoming chief if I don't have to undertake that annoying trial to do so…"
I have a really bad feeling about this.
At this rate, it's going to turn into a free for all where the first person to arrive at the scene become chief.
The identity of that loner girl will be swept away just like this.
…Just then.
"I'm sorry!"
"Megumin? Why are you suddenly apologizing?"
Megumin suddenly fell into a deep bow.
"… The one who caused the explosion last night was me. I was surprised by a large rhinoceros beetle while taking a night stroll and casted my spell by reflex."
"What the hell did you do!?"
Bukkoroli shouted.
"See, I knew it was Megumin's doing! My eyes aren't made of glass! Apologize for strangling me and calling me a NEET!"
"I'll apologize for strangling you, but I won't apologize for calling you a NEET."
"Why do you hate NEETs that much!?"
–Bukkoroli and the others left after giving Megumin a stern talking to,
"Why did you say that!? Weren't you having fun with me last night?"
"Having fun!?"
"Please don't put it that way! And you didn't need to respond, Darkness!"
Well, I can probably guess why Megumin took the blame for that.
And Aqua, who's been leisurely having tea the entire time, said,
"Well, knowing our tsundere, I bet she just didn't want to interfere with Yunyun's chieftain's trial, right?"
"I see. Yeah, she can't be honest whenever Yunyun's involved."
"Oh shut up, you two! Who exactly is a tsundere!? I've been disqualified from taking the trial, but if I can sneak away and take down ninin myself, I can steal the position of the chief…"
Darkness pulled on my sleeve as Megumin was weaving some really transparent excuses.
"(Hey, Kazuma, what exactly did you mean by having fun last night…? Megumin's mother still managed to render me immobile in the end…)"
"(We slept in the same bed, and when that came up, Megumin…)"
I whispered what happened last night into Darkness's ear…
"(W-W-W-What!? Just what did you make an innocent young girl do…!?)"
"(Don't make it sound that bad! Unlike you who keeps leaving me whenever things start going, Megumin offered to take proper responsibility when that came up…!)"
"I can hear you two! What the hell are you talking about this early in the morning!?"
Megumin screamed at us.
At the same time, the doorbell rang.
It's probably Komekko returning.
The rapid sound of footsteps accompanied the sound of the door sliding open.
And the person who finally appeared in front of us is Yunyun, clearly nervous about the upcoming trial.
"G-Good morning, Darkness-san! I'll be in your care today… Megumin, why is your face so red?"
"Hey, Yunyun, listen to this. Yesterday, Megumin and this man-"
"Nothing happened! Come on Darkness, hurry up and get out there!"
Part 7
"-And this is the Mysterious Facility. We visited this place the last time we were here, but we never went inside, did we?"
After sending off Yunyun and Darkness, Megumin led us to the Mysterious Facility that was but a short distance away from the underground bunker that we explored the last time were were here.
From the outside, it looked just like a giant building made out of concrete.
As Megumin said, we've been here before, but now that I had the chance to see it again…
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san, this is a laboratory, right?"
"Yeah, it totally is a laboratory."
"What's a laboratory? You two say some really strange things sometimes."
I didn't notice it the last time I was here, but there's a sign hanging right over the entrance.
"Noise Research Laboratory, huh."
"You can read those words?"
Megumin seemed surprised, but it's only natural. The sign was written in Japanese, after all.
If I recall, Noise was that magically advanced country that created the Crimson Demons a long time ago.
Judging from the sign and the appearance of the building, this is definitely the work of that annoying Japanese cheat user.
"Say, Aqua, that Bomber Majin is the work of that cheat possessing Japanese guy, right? He made it and the Crimson Demons gave it that name, right? I've been thinking this for some time now, but aren't most of the annoying problems in this world your fault?"
"What are you saying you shitty NEET!? It's not my fault, it's the fault of the Japanese with abnormal common sense. All I do is give them power and send them on their way. The ones who give monsters strange names and disrupt the ecosystem and spread strange words and bits of culture are the Japanese. I'd really wish they'd have some self awareness."
That's really more the fault of the one who sent them to another world without doing a proper background check.
"Stop talking about incomprehensible stuff and head inside already. There are a few traps lying around, so watch your step."
"Then leave this to me. I picked up the Trap Detection skill for exactly these types of situations."
"You can't get any great accomplishments, but you're really handy when it comes to little things like this."
"Oh shut up."
Ignoring Aqua who was saying something that could've been taken as praise but also not really, the three of us walked right up to the facility…
Megumin's word of warning made us all stop in our tracks.
"Right, here's the first trap. The door will suddenly open, but that's just to make you let your guard down, so watch out for it. It might seem very inviting, but it will close after a second."
…What stood in front of us was a standard glass automatic door.
After issuing that warning, Megumin carefully prodded in front of the door with her staff.
"Say, Kazuma, can you let me handle the traps in this facility?"
"That's no fair, I want to show off to Megumin by deftly avoiding these traps too."
"Please don't let your guard down! The area ahead of us is particularly dangerous!"
It seems like the various convenience infrastructure of my world come off as traps to the people of this world.
Eventually, we followed behind a very serious looking Megumin as she lead the way into the facility-
<"Up ahead is a clean room. Please change into dust-proof workwear before proceeding.">
"Kazuma, Aqua, did you hear that? That mysterious voice is a warning. One must acquire and equip a Gustproof Workwear before carrying on. A violent gust blows at you if you enter the small room at the end. Right now it's just air, but it must have sprayed a deadly acid in the past to prevent anyone without the proper equipment from entering…"
"It's probably just an air shower to prevent dust from being brought into the clean room."
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san, Megumin is really cute right now. She'll definitely provide a really cute reaction if a TV was here."
Probably trying to protect us, Megumin blocked the air nozzles before allowing us to step into the entrance into the clean room.
Inside the clean room was a conveyor belt, and right next to it was a giant machine…
"That's a fearsome trap that has resulted in a lot of casualties. A vile trap that devours anything that steps on that platform. It's currently disabled now, but don't let your guard down."
"It looks to be some kind of assembly line. Did it break down?"
"The sign on the side says 'Game Girl production line'."
Megumin gasped.
"You're saying that this thing uses what it has consumed to create something… Could that thing be us Crimson Demons…. Kazuma, I think I've just stumbled upon a truth that should never have been revealed…"
"This thing probably creates a toy."
"The toy we found in that underground bunker, right?"
In response to our instant rebuttal, Megumin sadly looked at us.
"You two don't need to be that considerate. The Crimson Demons are a man-made race that goes against the laws of the gods… I'm sure my ancestors were created right here…"
"In the name of Aqua-san, I'll forgive the existence of the joke tribe. After all, the Crimson Demons are really amusing."
"Please don't call us that!"
Just then, I noticed a small machine at the back of the facility.
"Hey, Aqua, that's a gachapon! There's a gachapon here!"
"Oh, there really is. It's empty, but that really is a gachapon."
"Do the two of you know what that box is?"
"This is a gachapon machine. It spits out a capsule stored within in exchange for coins. Occasionally it's used for raffles. I don't know what it's doing here, but it sure is nostalgic."
"I don't quite get it, but it's a machine aimed at children, right? Then it has no relation to the creation of the Crimson Demons."
Just as I was lost in my memories, Aqua, who was fiddling with the machine, seemed to have found something.
"Crimson Demon modification rights available for a limited time only, it says."
"Oh, it really is. First place, prototype Playscation, second place, Game Girl Color, third place, Crimson Demon Modification rights- Hey, what are you doing?"
Megumin wordlessly scraped away the words.
"You two didn't see anything, okay?"
"It isn't okay at all, but I get it. Just buy me some wine later."
"Don't just erase the history of the Crimson Demons…"
— We explored the facility for quite some time afterwards, but we still didn't manage to find anything related to the Bomber Majin.
"The only thing we learned is that Megumin's ancestors came out from a gacha…"
"Wait, putting it like that will invite misunderstandings. At least say that the modification rights came from the gacha."
Megumin, riding on my back, lazily said.
In the end, we didn't get much out of the facility.
After settling Megumin's routine on our way back, we safely arrived at Megumin's house.
"I'm back~ Komekko, let's have dinner. Has mother returned yet?"
"Welcome back, Nee-chan. Mom's gone into a dungeon, so she won't be back today. The golden onee-chan is back, though."
Golden onee-chan is referring to Darkness, huh.
I wonder if Yunyun managed to successfully complete her trial.
"Komekko, have you heard anything about Yunyun's trial?"
"Yunyun said she passed the trial! But she was crying!"
… She was crying?
I wondered what happened as I entered the house.
Darkness was hugging her knees in the middle of the living room.
"Yo, Darkness, I'm back. What happened with Yunyun's trial? I've heard that she succeeded from Komekko, but…"
"…No more Crimson Demon Trials… You can be her partner tomorrow…"
Darkness, who was so confident this morning, tiredly mumbled with tears in her eyes.