[Flashback-Columbus Z-Day]
Columbus sighed out as he pulled the red solo cup away from his mouth and gazed down at the massive wet patch of code red running down his shirt. "Smooth, real smooth" he whispered to himself before typing out he was done for the night to his online friends and closed down the game and made his way to the bathroom of his apartment. pulling off and tossing his shirt he wondered if maybe he should have chosen to go to one of the parties in town instead of locking up and marathon gaming for the third straight week indoors. Honestly with the leaning tower of pizza boxes and empty soda cans laying he could say he held a party. Yet, it was crippling social awkwardness and lack of IRL friends that told most he never could hold a party in the first place.
Wetting a towel he wiped away the sticky soda that soaked through his shirt and onto his face, neck, and chest before dropping the towel to go put on another shirt. Yet when he left the bathroom he heard a banging on his door that made him flinch.
"408! Please, is anyone home? Please, it's an emergency" his neighbor 406 yelled out given the female voice that called out. Normally Columbus would have ignored the cry for help, but 406 was insanely hot for him to not answer the door. Even with his social deficiency the boy still wanted to find love, and what love story didn't start with a boy saving a girl in the hallway of his apartment complex. so with a quick grab at a yellow hoodie, Columbus quickly ran over to the door. With a quick check to make sure that it was 406, he opened the door and allowed a beautiful blonde to storm in and wrap him in a wonderful hug.
"hello, nice to meet you" the nerd said with a smile on his face as the girl cried into his chest.
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With the door closed and the hot girl from next door hydrated with code red and off brand cereal snacks, Columbus mentally gave himself a checklist as he prayed that this was his moment to score a possible future date and relationship with 406.
"First mission is to calm her down, second is to get her actual name" he mentally thought as he nodded casually with an awkward smile at the breathless, red eyed, exhausted girl. "So, what happened?" the nerd asked. 406 didn't look at him as she scratched a section of arm while staring off into the distance.
"I was, uh, walking down the street after grabbing some drinks with friends, when, some... homeless? maybe sick? a guy just came sprinting down the street at me! And I mean Sprinting! not running, Sprinting!" 406 said as tears started to run down her cheeks. Columbus looked terrified for her and for the fact that there was a violent homeless man right outside his home that he would have to deal with tomorrow.
"Could be drugs?" he said casually trying to help her understand why this had happened to her. She nodded as she took another drink of code red.
"I guess, I mean, that fits with the worst part of it all" 406 said. Columbus genuinely wanted to know how a violent homeless man could get any worse lean in closer with an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"He tried to bite me!" 406 said as she rubbed a bloody mark on her covered arm. Columbus grew pale as he now had a possible cannibalistic homeless man right outside his apartment.
"Yeah, that is definitely the worst part" he said with false calm as he planned on making a phone call to the police about the attack, hoping to remove the threatening element to both him and possible future Ms. Columbus. Perhaps not hiding it as best he could. 406 saw the genuine fear in the nerd's eyes and tried to calm herself down. she didn't want him to kick her out or something right now.
"I'm sorry, I was just so scared, I needed someone to talk to" she started to say and thankfully for Columbus he picked up on the kind of fear she was dreading right now.
"No, no, you should be scared," he said. "Being attacked is the correct thing to be scared about. Not like me! I'm scared of clowns with red noses more than I'm scared of being bitten by a homeless man." She snorted at that and looked at him, and his awkward smile trying to lighten her mood. She had seen Columbus in the hallway before, each time an awkward mess of a hi, or nice weather from the guy trying to get her attention. She knew why of course, she took the time in the mirror every morning to get that kind of response. She also knew the guy was as harmless as could be given his more scared rabbit like nature then most guys she let back into her apartment. So as she heard him say that he would stay by her side as long as she needed she mentally checked "White Knight" off in her head and thanked god for that as she felt the stress made her eyes droop.
"Thanks, do you think I could rest my eyes a bit?" she asked and Columbus immediately nodded and she smiled before leaning in and giving the guy a kiss on the cheek. Most would see this as her setting up a friendzone for her future use, but she wasn't that heartless. When she felt better in the morning she would let him buy her coffee and see where things went. Now though? 406 just felt so tired all of a sudden that she needed a nap.
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[Back to present]
"And after I woke up she turned into a zombie and I had to put her down," Columbus said as he told the group about his first zombie encounter as they pulled off the highway to stock up at a local chain of a famous grocer. Tallahassee had asked the question, after him and Yellowstone moved a broken and burned sedan out of the way. Salem and Logan had told of waking up to a little zombie girl crashing into their home, while Big Valley said she was driving into a city for a job interview. Orlando told of her and Buck's moment of fear, while Tally enlightened everyone to a high octane moment of chainsaw fun as he carved his way to his truck to meet up with Orlando and Buck.
"Damn, at least you got to second base" Tallahassee said as Columbus nodded quickly to hide his few alterations to his story. While the story played out correctly in his mind as he told it, the kiss on the cheek before her falling asleep had turned into her giving him a thank you kiss that led to some roaming hands in some fun places. The three movie goers flicked their eyes to the nerd with clear knowledge of the deceit, while Orlando raised a brow for herself to think about viral infection that would have happened if the zombie blonde had actually made out with the nerd, thus adding her own skepticism to the tale. Buck had on headphones as he watched a movie on a portable movie player, so was unaware of the adult topic.
"Yeah, so anyways, I'll admit that I was unprepared to kill a zombie so I ended up using the back lid of my toilet's tank" Columbus added trying to move on from his ad lib alteration. "It's actually when I came up with my rules!"
"Rules?" Orlando asked while shifting so she could eye the nerd right behind her. Said nerd nodded and pulled out a composition notebook with "Zombie survival rules" written on the front.
"Oh hell, he's even got a fucking notebook" Tallahassee sighed out as he kept a watch on the streets for any roaming hoards of the dead. His sister gave him a look and he waved her off to just listen to Columbus.
"Yeah, just some firm rules to help keep yourself alive during this stressful time" He said while flipping to the first page. "Like rule #1 Cardio, if I wasn't faster then 406 I would have been dinner. then there's rule #2 double tap, always make sure you have a clean head shot before you turn your back on the infected. Also Rule #3 beware of bathrooms, never know when a zombie might walk in and go for you when you least expect it"
"Wait, is that why you ask if I could come to the bathroom with you?" Logan questioned, looking down the back of the nerd's head. Feeling the guy flinch on his lap, he noticed Columbus Looking over to Akane and Leah as he showed another rule to them, absolutely avoiding Logan's question. "And thanks to you guys I've got rule #30 guns away when gas is at play, nearly killed us all when I accidently shot the pumps."
"Oh now you know I need to hear about that mess" Tally laughed out as he spotted the store. "Sadly it will have to be after stocking up for the weekend." pulling off and into the parking lot made everyone a little tense as the lot was rather filled up. The movie goers glanced at each other, something Orlando didn't miss, as they found another slight deviation. "Well boys and girls," Tally said while parking and looking over to the people in the back seat, "Something tells me we're going to get a real understanding of each others strength today!"