Normally, this would have angered him. Of course, he was currently on the effects of a very potent calming drought, so all he could dredge up at the moment was irritation for them not listening to him.
Harry shook his head, willing his thoughts away.
"Suffice it to say things went from bad to worse, and I ended up jumping on its back and getting my ribcage crushed." Harry shrugged as Dumbledore winced. "It was mere luck that I'm still alive."
Luck. How he disliked relying on something as inconsistent as luck. He would not deny that throughout the entire battle, it had been luck that kept him alive. Luck that the troll had been so incredibly stupid. Luck that it had no experience in combat or the ability to think tactically. Luck that it telegraphed its moves so blatantly he could dodge the incredibly fast swings of its club. And luck that he had been magically reinforcing his body when the troll tried to crush him between itself and the wall. Yes, Harry would admit he was extremely lucky to have survived the encounter.
That didn't mean he had to like it.
"Sometimes you will find that a little luck can go a long way," Dumbledore told Harry cheerfully. Harry just stared at the man with a blank look, wondering if perhaps people's belief that the venerated Headmaster being a tad barmy held more truth to them than anyone realized. Maybe the old man truly was as touched in the head as people claimed.
"Harry." The tone of voice Dumbledore used changed. Gone was the cheery voice, and in its place was one filled with regret. The twinkle had also gone out of his eye. "I am terribly sorry that you were forced to confront the toll yesterday."
"It's not your fault headmaster," Harry replied a little dumbly. He wasn't sure what was more surprising; Dumbledore apologizing to him, or the entire situation that constituted the man apologizing in the first place. "Sometimes these things happen, and there really isn't much we can do about them."
"That is true, but this incident nearly got you killed," Dumbledore said quietly. He seemed disquieted by this fact. Granted, he was the headmaster of Hogwarts, so of course he would be worried about one of his charges dying. That the person almost killed was the Boy-Who-Lived just made the situation that much worse. Harry could only imagine the scandal his death would cause. But it seemed more personal than that. Harry couldn't explain it, but he had the feeling Dumbledore was taking this incident more personally than he normally would have. "And worse still was that you were forced to kill, something I hoped no one would be forced to do again since the war with Voldemort ended, especially one so young."
Harry grimaced. He really didn't want to think of how he had killed something. Even under the effects of the calming drought his mind was constantly showing him that last image of the troll's head exploding before he black out.
"I want you to know, Harry," Dumbledore began, looking at him behind those half-moon spectacles. "That while killing is something I do not condone, it is something that, unfortunately, is sometimes unavoidable." The Headmaster grimaced, as if just admitting this truth was painful. "There are times when a situation may require you to choose between the lives of the innocent and those trying to take those lives. It is a very unfortunate circumstance, and one I had hoped you would never be forced into."
He paused, then gave Harry a smile and a pat on the shoulder.
"What you did last night, you did because you didn't have any choice. Trolls are notoriously difficult to incapacitate, much less kill. Only the most experienced full grown wizards can take on a mountain troll and live. That you did so is remarkable, that you did so while protecting your friends is admirable. Had the teachers found you in time things may have been different. Alas, things do not always happen the way we wish them to. I want you to know, Harry, that you did the right thing."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said, and he meant it. Much as he may hate to admit it, his mind still reeled from what he had done, potion or no potion. Dumbledore's words went a long way toward easing his mind.
"You are most welcome." Dumbledore's congenial smile was back in place. The twinkle in his eyes returned, and he stood back up. "Now then, I think I will take my leave before Poppy decides to kick me out." Harry offered the ancient looking man a small smile. "have a pleasant day, Mr. Potter."
As soon as Dumbledore made to leave, Madam Pomfrey came back in and began fussing over him. Harry sighed as he leaned back against his pillow and let the woman do her job. Hopefully, cooperating with the mediwitch would get him out of the hospital wing that much faster.
As the school mediwitch ran several diagnostic spells, he found himself regretting only one thing: that he did not have a good book to help quell his boredom.
XoX
It was nearly an hour later that Harry was finally allowed to leave the hospital wing. A quick casting of the tempus spell showed him that it was currently lunch time, and so the raven-haired young boy made his way toward the Great Hall, his shoes thudding along the stone floor, bouncing off the walls.
The halls were empty. Everyone was probably already in the Great Hall. That left Harry plenty of time to think about the reaction he would be receiving from the other students when he arrived.
He was under no illusion that everyone had heard about what happened by now. The Hogwarts rumor mill worked fast, especially when it came to anything concerning him. The fact that this particular incident involved him killing a troll would only exacerbate things. No doubt there would be hundreds of different rumors involving what he had done and how he had done it.
He wasn't too worried about rumors. In the grand scheme of things, rumors would only boost his reputation right now, though he did imagine some people would be afraid of him. No, what he was worried about was the reaction of his friends. Would they fear him like some of the other students surely would? Would they be disgusted by what he had done? Would they want to even continue being his friend? So many questions, all of which could only be answered by confronting them.
A part of him was bothered by how worried he was about their opinions of him. While he did indeed care about what others thought of him, perhaps even more than he should, he had never worried to this extent. He had cared, but only insomuch as how the beliefs and opinions of others would affect his reputation. This was different. In this instance, he was actually afraid they would think he was a monster and not want to spend anymore time with him. And that bothered him far more than he wanted to admit.
Before long Harry found himself standing just outside of the Great Hall. He closed his eyes, centering himself by taking several deep breaths and emptying his mind of his worries and concerns. Properly centered, he entered the Great Hall, prepared to face whatever came his way.
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