A hundred thoughts passed through her head as the monsters closed in, not all of them hers. Her back pressed against the stone wall, she wanted to run but could not.
They wouldn't leave her alone. Day in and day out, they came again and again. They bore voices familiar and unknown, whispering terrible truths into her ears. Truths about herself that she knew, but never dared speak aloud.
Weakness.
She was weak…she had always been weak.
She was not as strong as her brother. She cowered in his shadow while he took wounds meant for her.
He knew this and shouldered the burden without hesitation or complaint. The guilt that took its place was almost overwhelming and she found that it hurt worse than the wound itself would have. She wished that she was stronger, so that he didn't have to suffer for her sake.
Fear.
She was afraid…she had always been afraid.
Afraid of their owner and her temper. Afraid of losing her brother or her mother. Afraid of her powers. Afraid of the desert and the horrors beneath its sands. Afraid of the Overseer and his judging gaze. Afraid of the other acolytes.
Afraid of becoming like the other Sith.
The voices of Korriban knew these truths as well and tormented her with them. They taunted her with her shame when she was awake and haunted her dreams when she slept. She knew no rest on this world of pain and blood.
Hatred.
She was filled with hatred…and only now did she realize it had always been there.
She hated her weakness. She hated her cowardice. She hated her master. She hated the Overseer. She hated the other acolytes. She hated the Force for giving her so little strength.
…Did she hate her brother and her mother too?
That uncertainty gave the rage building pause, allowing the fear to return.
Terror.
She could not even hold onto the little spark of rage she had managed to gather. As a dozen footsteps grew closer and louder, the fear grew stronger.
Her blade was broken, her muscles screaming from running. Her powers were too weak to help.
As if to spite her, the glowrod on her hip began to flicker ominously, threatening to plunge her into complete darkness and unable to see the doom before her.
Weakness. Fear.
Her brother was too far away to save her. She could feel their connection, but it was murky, obscured by the power dwelling in the caves. He would never know she died until the connection was cut.
Hatred.
The connection was still there, her brother sending feelings of warmth. What should have been a spark of hope and comfort was nothing more than a cruel taunt in her last moments.
In the dimming light, she could see the beasts getting closer.
Terror.
She was tired of being afraid, of being filled of hatred. Closing her eyes, she tried desperately to listen for the rain.
But this was Korriban. There was no rain to be heard, drowned out by the screams and pain of the long dead.
She was alone, yet not.
'You have hate. You have fear. But you do not use them.' Her mother's voice whispered into her ear.
She didn't want to become like the others.
'You already have. You simply haven't seen it.' It taunted, its tone motherly and cruel simultaneously.
She could do nothing. She was powerless. Helpness.
'Nothing? Foolish child.' The voice chided mockingly, 'Fear and anger are the weapons of the Sith. You need merely accept them. Turn your terror into that of your enemies'.'
The first of the beasts had closed in. She could feel its hot breath against her skin as it opened its jaw wide to take a bite.
Here in this dark place, she was all alone and no help would be coming. Her brother was too far away. The other acolytes and the Overseer could care less if she perished. Not even the memory of her mother could comfort her.
She was alone…and she wanted to live.
Taking all the fear, all the anger, she lashed out unthinkingly with as much power as she could gather as she screamed her throat raw. When she ran out of breath, everything went silent.
Then, she heard it.
A whimper, uttered in fear. But it was not from her lips.
She slowly opened her eyes.
The creature was still there, mouth open to reveal dozens of sharp fangs. But it was completely still, its eyes wide and unblinking. For a moment, she thought it was dead.
And then she saw it.
The tremor of muscles as it fought to stay absolutely still. Its chest expanding and contracting rapidly as its lungs hurriedly pulled in and pushed out air. The pulsing of veins beneath its tough hide as its heart raced.
It only stayed still for a moment…before toppling over. Dead.
In the darkness beyond her sight, the sounds of more bodies hitting the floor reached her ears. Stunned, she could only watch in disbelief.
She…She had done this.
She paused as the realization hit.
She had done this.
It started as a bubbling in the back of her throat, threatening to burst if she held it in. But she didn't.
Her laughter echoed in the cavern, carrying it to all the dark places under the sands. Closing her eyes again, she basked in the feeling of simply being alive, of no longer being helpless, and of the power now singing through her.
Her delirious glee must have bled through the bond as she soon felt an inquiry a moment later. Giggling, she sent back a feeling of assurance as she stood up on shaky legs.
As Ianna opened her eyes again, yellow soon began to leak into emerald.
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A/N: Just a short little interlude to show what one of the other acolytes is up to while I'm working on the next chapter. It isn't just Olia and Aldrex figuring stuff out, after all.
the next chapter is more than 2500 word.
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The first book of this fanfic has been completed on Patreon, you can look it up in the collection alongside the second book. You can visit Patreon if you want to read in Advance.
p@treon.com/Rage_moon