I have always had the same damn dreams every night for a few years with fewer variations. Looking at this one, it's probably my most bittersweet. From now on, I will use supplementary names.
***
As Martin closed his eyes for the night, he dreaded the feelings that would reemerge. Of course, nothing can stop the feeling of loss forever, and naturally, loneliness settles. He remembered it all, the day he lost everything. It started out as a normal day for a high schooler. Boring classes that he would slug through just to make his parents happy and set his future up. He hasn't always been like this; rather, he was happy until she stopped sending letters. Who was she? Well, her name was Jennifer, and she was the reason he wore a basic ring on his left hand. This day, he comes back, and he receives a letter from her family for the first time in what feels like forever.
A feeling of dread overtakes him as he feels the center of the envelope, it was her ring. Perhaps the distance of Michigan and Maine smothered the flames of their relationship at last. No, the news was far more dire. Jennifer took her own life. He was alone. The girl he had spent most of his childhood and teenage years so far has left him. The devastation goes unsaid.
Every night, he would pray to death as he thought himself a coward to take his own life. He was so close one night but pulled away from reuniting with her. His dreams tormented him.
Martin would open his eyes to be in a school, cowering in a corner as gunshots ring through the halls. He hated his cowardice. As the murderer entered the room, he would charge, sacrificing himself while inspiring others to rise up. The others walked over him, barely recognizing him. Deep within, it hurt him.
From his slumber, a light pierces his eyelids, its warmth caressing his face. The cool breeze rolls in and out, wiping away the heat as it plays with the chimes. The grass pokes the back of his neck forcing him to see the land he awoke in. He hated that. After all, it was the same damn dream.
With the chimes playing and the birds singing, a familiar voice and melody awakens him. The lush green grass complemented the cultivated flowers and gorgeous azure skies with painted clouds held up by snow-capped mountains surrounding him. The siren calls to him from the top of the hill.
He swore over and over he would never meet her again, another promise he failed to keep. Melancholy surrounds his heart once again, confusing joy with depression, disturbed but relieved, angered yet soothed. 'Which is it that I feel'.
Jennifer turns to him, and the sun bounces off her light brown eyes, gazing into his soul. "Enjoy your sleep, love?" her voice penetrates his clouded thoughts. It's been five years now, hasn't it?"
That voice belongs to the woman He'd been longing for years now. Always met up with her in dreams, but dreams go away after a while. No matter how hard he chased after and attempted to retain it, he was left with nothing.
"It must've been that long, yes." he says, "It's good to be with you again, Jenny."
Her smile is kind, and her expression matches her eyes and soul. The sight of her tells him it's alright out here. Sitting by her side overlooking the valley, nothing was more perfect. He always grabbed her shoulder and pulled her in closer. The cold mountains in the distance somehow always gave off a warm appearance to both of them.
She would consult him when no one else would. Spending time like this was his only way of remaining sane as the years passed. Joining the service has not been kind to him.
The two of them would talk about the recent events in his life. He couldn't escape this, nor did he want to. He still needed her now that he was thousands of miles away from his family he never thought he'd miss. In the real world, there was no time to take a break, to relax, to think, to be.
Neither wants it to end. The tragedy of this story is that Martin always woke up, even when he didn't want to. Why he had to always perplexed him. It's not as if anyone he worked or for cared about him. They would all just walk around him when he was down like all the others. Here, he had someone to hold.
Sadness overtakes him as he realizes he woke up for real. He's in his army PT uniform already. "It's the same damn dream all over again. For once, I want it to last." he sighs to himself, "I don't have time for this, time for PT."
He put on his dog tags and another necklace that held the two rings together. 'One day,' he swore, 'I'll be with you for good.'
***
And that ends it, folks. Thank you for reading, and I wish you a blessed day. Remember, keep your chin up and smile. The departed will always want you to be successful; best to honor their wish.