Emo is a word invented by Helen Gurley Brown, the grand dame
of Cosmopolitan magazine. Emo translated is "Give more emotion!"
Once Cosmopolitan asked me to write an article on communicating sensitive matters (most specifically advising young women on
how to make their boyfriends more passionate). I interviewed a
passel of psychologists, communications experts, and sexologists.
My draft came back from Cosmo all marked up with "MORE
EMO" scribbled on every page.
I called my editor and asked what it meant. She said that was
Helen's way of saying downplay all that factual stuff with the sex
therapists and so-called experts. Write about the emotion the young
woman feels when her boyfriend isn't passionate enough, the emotion the accused male feels when confronted, and the emotion the
couple feels about discussing their quandary. Helen Gurley Brown,
a certified big winner, liked to have it all and knew just how to get
it. Helen recognized, when the time is right, reject the rational and
empathize with the emotions. In other words, smear on the emo.
"Oh, No! He Must Have Been Mortified!"
L.L. Bean recently smeared emo all over me. Several months ago,
my friend Phil wanted to buy some trousers and asked for a rec322
How to Turn Their
Anger Around (in Three
Sentences or Less)
✰87
09 (293-342B) part nine 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 322
Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
ommendation. I dragged him to my closet to show him the quality and construction of the L.L. Bean clothes. That convinced
him, and Phil ordered a pair of navy-blue dress trousers.
Phil wore his brand new L.L. Bean pants for the first time on
a big date with a new girlfriend at an elegant restaurant. While
following the maître d' to the cozy corner booth which he'd
requested, his date happened to drop her evening bag. Phil
promptly bent over to pick it up. Riiiiiiip! Right down the middle seam.
Most of the diners facing Phil's derriere mercifully looked
away. A few tittered. Phil, tugging the torn seams together to blanket his buns, backed his way into the booth. The cool upholstery
on his bottom the rest of the evening reminded him of his
humiliation.
When I heard of Phil's tribulations, I was furious at L.L. Bean.
I immediately called one of their customer service agents. She sympathized as I told her of Phil's ordeal, but I was still simmering.
She patiently listened and even asked me details of the disaster.
When I finished the long sad story, the agent said, "Oh that's terrible. I understand, your friend must have felt awful."
"Yes, he did," I agreed.
"He must have been mortified!" she said.
"He definitely was," I said, surprised at her excellent grasp of
the situation.
"And you, when you heard about it. You must have felt terrible, too, especially after you'd recommended our products so
highly."
"Well, your products usually are excellent," I said, calming
down a bit.
"I'm so sorry we caused you this pain and aggravation," she
said.
"Oh," I interrupted. "It's not your fault." Now I was completely appeased. "It must have just been a fluke that this one pair
of pants was . . . "
How to Turn Their Anger Around (in Three Sentences or Less) 323
09 (293-342B) part nine 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 323
There's more to this story, but let me pause here to interject
the Echo the Emo technique.
The clever customer service rep not only emptied my tanks
and softened me up with Echo the Emo. She completely dissolved
me with the next technique.