In ancient Japan, if you saved someone's life, it was their selfimposed task to spend the rest of their life serving you. Nowadays,
if you rescue someone's story, a molecule of that ancient instinct
still gushes through his or her veins.
It happens all the time. Someone in a group is telling a story
and, just before their big point, BOOM! There's an interruption.
Someone new joins the group, a catering person with a tray of
crackers and cheese comes over, or a baby starts crying. Suddenly
everyone's attention turns to the new arrival, the nibbles on the
tray, or the "adorable" little tyke. Nobody is aware of the interruption—except the speaker. They forget all about the fact that
the speaker hasn't made his or her point.
Or you're all sitting around the living room and someone is
telling a joke. Suddenly, just before their big punch line, little
Johnny drops a dish or the phone rings. After the crash, everyone
talks about little Johnny's clumsiness. After the call, the subject
turns to the impending marriage or medical operation of the caller.
Nobody remembers the great punch line got aborted—except the
joke teller. (When it's you regaling everyone at a restaurant, have
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How to Win Their
Heart When Their
Tongue Is Faltering
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
you ever noticed how you can almost set your clock by the waiter
coming to take everyone's order just before your hilarious punch
line?)
Most joke and story tellers are too timid to say, after the invasion, "Now, as I was saying . . ." Instead, they'll spend the rest of
the evening feeling miserable they didn't get to finish. Here's where
you come in. Rescue them with the technique I call "Lend a Helping Tongue."
Watch the gratitude in the storyteller's eyes as he stabilizes
where his story sunk and he sails off again toward the center of
attention. His expression and the recognition of your sensitivity by
the rest of the group are often reward enough. You are even more
fortunate if you can rescue the story of someone who can hire you,
promote you, buy from you, or otherwise lift your life. Big winners
have elephantine memories. When you do them subtle favors like
Lend a Helping Tongue, they find a way to pay you back.
How to Win Their Heart When Their Tongue Is Faltering 301
Technique #79
Lend a Helping Tongue
Whenever someone's story is aborted, let the interruption play itself out. Give everyone time to dote on the
little darling, give their dinner order, or pick up the
jagged pieces of china.
Then, when the group reassembles, simply say to the
person who suffered story-interruptus, "Now please get
back to your story." Or better yet, remember where they
were and then ask, "So what happened after the . . ."
(and fill in the last few words).
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Harvey Mackay, the world's most notable networker who rose
from envelope salesman to corporate CEO and one of America's
most sought-after business and motivational speakers, teaches us
that the world goes 'round on favors. How right he is! The next
three techniques reveal unspoken subtleties of this critical balance
of power.