The first time I saw The Wizard of Oz, the story bewitched me.
The second time I saw The Wizard of Oz, the special effects
amazed me. The third time I saw The Wizard of Oz, the photography dazzled me. Have you ever seen a movie twice, three times?
You notice subtleties and hear sounds you completely missed the
first time around.
It's the same on the phone. Hearing it is much better the second time around. Because your business conversations are more
consequential than movies, you should listen to them two, maybe
three times. Often we have no clear idea of what really happened
in our phone conversation until we hear it again. You'll find shadings more significant than the color of Toto's collar—and more
scarecrows than you imagined who "haven't got a brain!"
How do you listen to your important business conversations
again? Simply legally and ethically tape-record them. I call the
technique of recording and analyzing your business conversations
for subtleties "Instant Replay."
Having a tape recorder on her phone could have made a dramatic difference in the career of my friend Laura. Laura, a nutritionist, had developed an excellent health drink. It deserved to be
marketed nationally.
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How to "Listen
Between the Lines"
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
I was in Laura's office one day discussing her plans and I said,
"Laura, I've got just the contact for you. Several months earlier, I
had met Fred, a man who owned a chain of supermarkets. Fred
owed me a favor because, at his request, I'd given a pro bono talk
for a social club he belonged to. Fred was a big banana in the
supermarket world, and with one "yes" he could put my friend's
health drink in his stores. That would launch Laura nationally.
I placed the call and, lo and behold, he was in. And, an even
bigger lo and behold, Fred sounded interested in Laura's beverage.
"Put her on," Fred said.
I proudly handed Laura the phone and their conversation
started out fine. "Oh sure, I'll send you a sample," Laura said.
"What's the address?" Then I heard Laura say, "Uh, wait a minute,
let me get something to write with." (I rapidly rolled a pen and
pushed a pad in front of her nose.) "Uh, what's that again? Did
you say 4201 or 4102? [I moan inaudibly.] And how do you spell
the name of the street? [My moan becomes audible.] Whoops, this
pen just ran out of ink. Leil, do you see another pen on my desk?
[I did, and this time I felt like throwing it at her.] Sorry, what's
that again?"
Yikes, now I wanted to grab the phone out of Laura's hands.
She shouldn't be bothering a busy big banana for details like
repeating addresses. She could have called his secretary back later
for clarification. But even that would have been unnecessary if she
were recording the conversation with the Instant Replay technique.
She could have merely mentioned that she was flipping on the
recorder (most heavy hitters are comfortable with that concept)
and she would have had it on tape.
Fred was nice to Laura that day. But my friend never heard
back from him. And to this day, she wonders why. She'll never
know the confused phone exchange nixed the deal.
Was Fred being unfair just because Laura was a little slow on
the phone? Absolutely not. Fred figures, "If this woman is as insen260 How to Talk to Anyone
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sitive about my time at the beginning of a possible business relationship, what's she going to be like down the pike?" Wise choice,
Fred. I still like Laura. She's still my friend. But will I introduce
her to any other big winners who might help her? I can't take the
chance.
How to Set Up Your Instant Replay
Instant Replay is simple and cheap. Go to your local electronics
store and ask for a recorder for your telephone. Slap it on your
phone receiver, and plug the other end into a cassette recorder.
Then turn the recorder on during your next important conversation. The device could earn you hundreds of dollars on your first
call. In some states the law requires you inform the other party
you are recording them. Make sure to check with the authorities
about the legality in the state where you live. If it's one-party consent, don't worry. You're the one party. Obviously you must never
ever use the tape for any other purpose than for your own second
listening. Not only would that be unlawful, but it would be unconscionable. For extra security, don't leave people's taped conversations lying around. Keep the same tape in your cassette machine
and use it over and over to record important details.
With Instant Replay, you can catch balls your conversation
partner throws out on the first bounce. You're on the phone with
your boss. He rambles off four or five names in a law firm you're
supposed to write to, then the address, then the nine-digit zip
code. Realizing he's pitched you some pretty fast balls, he asks,
"Shall I repeat that for you?" "No thanks, I got it," you proudly
say, silently tapping your little tape recorder. Boss is impressed.
Yet another benefit of Instant Replay—it helps hide your
ignorance. Recently I was on the phone with a cameraman negotiating a price on a videotape to use as a speaker's demo. Luckily
I was recording the conversation because his flurry of Hi-8, VHS,
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Super VHS, Beta SP, and three-quarter-inch U-matic had me
wanting to crawl into a rodent hole in the wall. But I listened to
the tape of our conversation afterward. I wrote down all the words
I didn't understand and then asked a video friend what they
meant. Now I was able to call the cameraman back and say, "I'd
like a two-camera shoot on Beta SP. And can you give me a VHS
dub so I can do some off-line editing?" Don't you think I got a
much better price than if I'd asked, "Duh, what's a Beta SP?"
Forget What They Said, Hear What
They Meant
Instant Replay also makes you sensitive to levels of communication far deeper than just your callers' words. You tune in to their
real enthusiasm or hesitation about an idea.
When we want something, our minds play funny tricks on us.
If we desperately crave "yes" from someone, we hear "yes." But
"yes" isn't always what it seems. A client's forceful "YES" and her
hesitant "yeee-sss" are different as heaven and hell. Last month I
asked a woman who'd booked me for a speech if her office could
reproduce my ten-page handout. She gave me the answer I wanted,
which was "yes." Later, however, I relistened to our conversation
262 How to Talk to Anyone
Technique #70
Instant Replay
Record all your business conversations and listen to
them again. The second or third time, you pick up on
significant subtleties you missed the first time. It's like
football fans who often don't know if there was a
fumble until they see it all over again in Instant Replay.
07 (229-264B) part seven 8/14/03 9:19 AM Page 262
on tape. Her answer about the handouts had been a very hesitant,
"Hmm, well, yes." I immediately called her back and said, "By the
way, don't worry about those handouts."
"Oh, I'm so glad!" she purred. "Because we really don't have
the budget for things like that." I gained much more in my client's
goodwill than the value of reproducing a few sheets of paper.
Let us now return to your live, in-person show. We're going
to talk not only about how to be a hit at a party, but how to
smoothly hit on all the folks you want—just like a politician.