Here's yet another caress for someone's ego. Don't give a blatant
compliment. Merely imply something magnificent about your conversation partner. Several months ago, I was visiting an old friend
in Denver whom I hadn't seen in a long time. When he came to
my hotel to pick me up, he said, "Hello, Leil, how are you?" Then
he paused, looked at me, and said, "You've obviously been well."
Wow, I felt terrific. He implied I looked good and that made my
evening.
Guess the Good Lord decided I shouldn't have too swollen a
head, however, because later that evening, after my friend dropped
me off, I got into the hotel elevator. A maintenance man entered
at the third floor. He smiled at me. I smiled back. He looked at
me again and said, "Gosh, ma'am, was you a model? [Oh, man,
was I feeling on top of the world now!] . . . when you was young?"
he continued.
CRASH! Why couldn't he have zipped his lip before the
zinger? I loved the implication in the first part of his comment.
But the second implied I was now an old lady. Ruined my next
day. Heck, his unintentional low blow ruined my week. In fact I
still feel wretched about it.
207
How to Make 'Em Feel
Your Admiration "Just
Slipped Out"
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Copyright 2003 by Leil Lowndes. Click Here for Terms of Use.
You have to be careful of unintentional bad implications. If,
visiting a new city, you stop someone on the street and say, "Excuse
me, could you tell me if there are any fine dining restaurants
nearby?" you are implying the passerby is a person of taste. If,
however, you ask that same passerby, "Hey, know any down and
dirty bars in this burg?" your implication is entirely different. Find
a way to imply magnificent qualities of those you wish to indirectly compliment.
208 How to Talk to Anyone
Technique #53
Implied Magnificence
Throw a few comments into your conversation that
presuppose something positive about the person you're
talking with. But be careful. Don't blow it like the wellintentioned maintenance man. Or the southern boy
who, at the prom, thought he was flattering his date
when he told her, "Gosh, Mary Lou, for a fat gal you
dance real good."