Suppose you've just settled in for dinner at a nice restaurant. You
look over at the next table, and who do you see? Is it really he?
Could it possibly be? It's gotta be a look-alike. No, it isn't! It really
is . . . Woody Allen. (Substitute any celebrity here: your favorite
movie star, politician, broadcaster, boss who owns the company
that owns the company you work for.) And there the celestial body
is in the flesh, sitting not ten feet from you. What should you do?
Nothing! Big shots don't slobber over stars. Let the luminary
enjoy a brief moment of anonymity. If he or she should cast a
glance in your direction, give a smile and a nod. Then waft your
gaze back to your dining companion. You will be a lot cooler in
the eyes of your dinner partner if you take it all in your stride.
Now, if you just can't resist this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to press the flesh of the megastar and tell him or her of your
admiration, here's how to do it with grace. Wait until you or the
luminary are leaving the restaurant. After the check has been paid
and you will obviously not be taking much of his or her time, you
may make your approach. Say something like, "Mr. Allen, I just
want to tell you how much pleasure your wonderful films have
given me over the years. Thank you so much."
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How to Talk to a
Celebrity
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Did you pick up the subtlety here? You are not complimenting his work. "After all," he might well ask himself, "who are you
to judge whether I am a great filmmaker or not?" You can only
speak from your own perspective. You do this by telling him how
much pleasure his work has given you.
If it's your boss's boss's boss's boss whom the fates have sent
to bask in your adulation, do the same. Do not say "Bill" or "Mr.
Gates, you really run a great company."
"Lowly geek," he thinks, "who are you to judge?" Instead, tell
him what an honor it is to work for him. Obviously this is not the
moment to detail the intricacies of your improvements on imageediting software for digitizing photographs.
Then let your body language express that if Woody or Bill or
the other megastar wants to leave it at that, you are happy with
the exchange. If, however, the megastar is captivated by you (or
has had so much liquid merriment that he or she has decided to
mingle with the masses tonight), then all bets are off. You're on
your own. Enjoy! Until you pick up the first body-language sign
that they would like to end it. Think of yourself as a ballroom
dance student waltzing with your teacher. He leads, you follow.
And he tells you when the waltz is over.
Incidentally, if the megastar is with a companion and your
conversation goes on for more than a few moments, direct some
comments at the companion. If the satellite is in such stellar company, he or she is probably also an accomplished person.
Felicia, a friend of mine, is a talented trial lawyer who is married to a local TV-show host. Because Tom is on television, people recognize him wherever they go, and Felicia gets ignored.
Felicia tells me how frustrating it is, even for Tom. Whenever they
go to a party, people gush all over Tom, and Felicia's fascinating
work hardly ever gets mentioned. She and Tom used to love going
out to dinner, but now they hide out at home in the evenings.
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Why? Because they can't stand the interruptions of overly effervescent fans.
"I Love What You Used to Be
[You Has-Been]"
Another sensitivity: the film star is probably obsessed with his last
film, the politician with her last election, a corporate mogul with
his last takeover, an author with her last novel—and so forth. So
when discussing the star's, the politician's, the mogul's, the author's,
or any VIP's work, try to keep your comments to current or recent
work. Telling Woody Allen how much you loved his 1980 film
Stardust Memories would not endear you to him. "What about all
my wonderful films since?" thinks he. Stick to the present or very
recent past if possible.