Once I was at a small dinner party given by the president of an
advertising agency, Louis, and his wife, Lillian. The evening
started with cocktails, followed by a gourmet meal accompanied
by a selection of excellent wines. The conversation had been convivial, the cuisine delicious, and the wine very fine. And very plentiful. At the end of the evening, Louis raised his glass to make a
toast. A few wine droplets sloshed out of his glass onto the
tablecloth.
A pretty young woman who was the date of a new art director named Bob giggled and said, "I can tell you're feeling no pain."
Shock waves went around the table. Everyone froze. The host
was indeed a bit inebriated. However, alluding to Louis being a
little looped, even in jest, was as though the woman had suddenly
smashed the crystal chandelier above the table with her dinner
plate.
One guest quickly covered the girl's horrifying gaffe by lifting her glass and saying "None of us is. No one in the company
of Louis and Lillian could ever feel any pain. Here's to a truly wonderful evening."
Louis then continued with his toast to the wonderful company, and no one was feeling pain any longer. Except Bob. He
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How to Avoid the
World's Worst
Conversational Habit
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knew his date's innocent teasing was a black mark, if not in his
personnel file, on his personal file.
The next sure sign of a little cathood is teasing. Little cats go
around patting their friends' paunches and saying, "Enjoying that
cheesecake, huh?" Or looking at their balding heads and saying,
"Hey, hair today, gone tomorrow, huh?" They think it's hilarious
to make a quip at someone else's expense and say "You don't have
an inferiority complex. You are inferior! Hardy har har."