When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old
friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone
else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has
reunited you with your long-lost old friend!
The joyful experience starts a remarkable chain
reaction in your body from the subconscious softening
of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes—and
everything between.
In my seminars, I first have people introduce themselves to
another participant before they've learned the Hello Old Friend
technique. The group chats as though at a pleasant semiformal
gathering. Later I ask them to introduce themselves to another
stranger, imagining they are old friends. The difference is extraordinary. When they're using Hello Old Friend, the room comes
alive. The atmosphere is charged with good feeling. The air
sparkles with happier, high-energy people. They are standing
closer, laughing more sincerely, and reaching out to one another. I
feel like I'm attending a terrific bash that's been going on for hours.
How to Make Someone Feel Like an Old Friend at Once 29
Technique #6
Hello Old Friend
When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old
friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone
else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has
reunited you with your long-lost old friend!
The joyful experience starts a remarkable chain
reaction in your body from the subconscious softening
of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes—and
everything between.
01 (001-042B) part one 8/14/03 9:16 AM Page 29
Not a Word Need Be Spoken
The Hello Old Friend technique even supersedes language. Whenever you're traveling in countries where you don't speak the native
tongue, be sure to use it. If you find yourself with a group of people who are all speaking a language unknown to you, just imagine them to be a group of your old friends. Everything is fine
except they momentarily forgot how to speak English. In spite of
the fact you won't understand a word, your whole body still
responds with congeniality and acceptance.
I've used the Hello Old Friend technique while traveling in
Europe. Sometimes my English-speaking friends who live there
tell me their European colleagues say I am the friendliest American they've ever met. Yet, we'd never spoken a word between us!
A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
An added benefit to the Hello Old Friend technique is it becomes a
self-fulfilling prophecy. When you act as though you like someone,
you start to really like them. An Adelphi University study called,
appropriately, "Believing Another Likes or Dislikes You: Behaviors
Making the Beliefs Come True" proved it.10 Researchers told volunteers to treat unsuspecting subjects as though they liked them.
When surveyed later, the results showed the volunteers wound up
genuinely liking the subjects. The unsuspecting subjects were also
surveyed. These respondents expressed much higher respect and
affection for the volunteers who pretended they liked them. What
it boils down to is love begets love, like begets like, respect begets
respect. Use the Hello Old Friend technique and you will soon have
many new "old friends" who wind up genuinely liking you.
You now have all the basics to come across to everyone you
meet as a Somebody, a friendly Somebody. But your job isn't over
yet. In addition to being liked, you want to appear credible, intelligent, and sure of yourself. Each of the next three techniques
accomplishes one of those goals.