Tiwa blinks his eyes and stares at nothing in particular except the remnants of the earlier incident. No matter what he does, it still stays in his memories, clinging to his brain with tiny, mean hooks. He moves his hand to his nose and rubs it unconsciously before bringing it in front of his face and examining it. There is no blood on his fingers. Even if there had been, he wouldn't care.
Now, all he worries about are the two important people in his life. There is nothing else. He needs to know how they are doing, or he will go mad. Shaking his head, he moves and realizes that he is in bed in his hotel room. The realization hits him like a force, another tide of memory crashing into him. Swallowing hard, he throws the blanket away and gets up.
Suddenly, the cold wind from outside enters the room through a small slit in the curtain, hitting him with its force. His body shivers from the impact, and for a moment, he wraps his arms around himself and gets warmth. He has only now noticed that he's not wearing Pravat's jacket anymore, instead wearing a black tank top with a flower picture.
He feels disappointed, but he tries hard not to show it on his face when it's not the right time. Even if he tries, his face becomes dull and shows what he feels. Frowning, he pats his cheeks constantly and tries to get back to normal. It's an utter failure. He sighs and realizes it doesn't matter now since he can't change some things. He runs his fingers over his cheek and down his neck as he enters Jaran's room to learn how the other is doing.
His heart sinks at the sight. He gazes down at Jaran's bruised face and arms, their bluish-purple hue indicating the severity of the injuries. It seems like it will take at least a week for proper healing. Thinking he is to blame for all this, Tiwa lets out silent tears as he delicately brushes his fingers over Jaran's bandaged hand to ensure it is not broken. Thankfully, it isn't.
As one weight lifts off his shoulders, it feels like just one pebble falling from a massive bag of them. If Tiwa wants to feel good, he knows he must also look out for the well-being of another person in addition to Jaran.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, he glances down at Jaran and thinks about his decision. There may be a lot of consequences that he needs to face if he gets caught, but it will be worth the risk if he makes sure that Pravat is also safe. The only thought of wanting to see the other alpha encourages him to attempt the risk. Fingers trembling, he holds the doorknob for a long moment and lets out a shaky breath before opening the door and stepping his foot out.
On the way to Pravat's hotel room, he feels his heart throb heavily in his chest and loses its courage. He groans and turns his eyes upward. "What am I doing? Why do I put myself through this?" Because there's a reason. The decision he has made is the right one. So he shouldn't be scared, but he kind of is. He's a coward. If he wants to see Pravat, he will never be terrified to overstep some boundaries.
Not allowing his fears to control him, he stands in front of a certain room like a fool, biting his lip. He feels nervous. No, really, then why is he hesitating to go inside? Is it because of Pravat? The fact that he still has these lingering feelings, even after all this time, only serves to control him more than anything. He doesn't want to feel this way; it will make things so much harder, but he can't help it.
"Is he awake?" He mutters, staring at the door as if it holds the secrets of life. "I hope he isn't." He starts pushing at the door with a hand, thinking briefly that he's knocked on it, but it would be a crazy thought if he didn't want to face Pravat. "Well, I must be an idiot, anyway. How does the door open if I just push, huh?"
As if to answer his question, the door opens. He stares for a moment, thinking Pravat must have forgotten to close it all the way. Or maybe the alpha left it open in case… for someone? The thought leaves a bitter feeling in Tiwa's stomach. After hesitating for a moment longer, he shakes his head and enters inside, closing the door softly behind him.
The room is dimly lit, with a faint noise echoing in the distance. Walking further in, he notices the television still on—only an infomercial playing in the dead of night. Pravat lies sprawled on the bed, deep in slumber. Relief washes over Tiwa at the sight of his alpha asleep.
Suddenly, Tiwa can't quite describe the feelings that go through him as he stares at Pravat. He finds himself walking closer, despite himself. As he gets closer, he can see the bruises and scratches on Pravat's body, which look brutal. Fresh tears again well up in his eyes, as he can also notice the tiredness in him and can imagine the aches and pains Pravat is feeling.
He pauses at the side of the bed. He's a fucking fool. What if the alpha wakes up and catches him? It will surely only lead to words and feelings—nothing good. So why does he keep moving closer? He laughs inwardly at himself. He's a great liar to a lot of people, even himself sometimes, but despite everything, Pravat has always been able to see through him—see through his bullshit.
Tiwa cautiously moves his fingers to Pravat's bandaged head before trailing them over to the scratches on the left cheek. "Even if you came into my life again for revenge, you would never fail to protect me in difficult times. Pravat.. Pravat.. Pravat.. My treacherous brain is screaming your name. I want to hate everything. I want to hate you. I have been trying so hard to hate you. But now…" He pulls his hand away and stares at Pravat with tears rolling down his cheeks. "I become tears in your love!"
Wiping his tears away, he glances at Pravat once and turns to leave when something grips his wrist and drags him back. His balance fails him and sends him sprawling out over the bed, everything short-circuiting as he finds himself straddling Pravat, his eyes wide and breathing going rough and shallow as he feels the ridges of Pravat's body underneath his own.
Pravat doesn't seem surprised or pained, just wrapping his arms around Tiwa and staring him in the eyes. "Is it true you become rainy because of my love? Or.." He asks, unwrapping his arms from Tiwa's waist and reaching out to wipe the excess tears from Tiwa's cheeks. "Do I smell bad? So you're trying to shower me!"
"Idiot!" Tiwa slaps Pravat on the chest and attempts to roll away, but Pravat winces and holds onto him tightly. Hearing the painful whimper, Tiwa remains still in Pravat's embrace and absentmindedly rubs his chest. It's not right, but sometimes Tiwa's emotions slip out of his heart without permission, and he despises himself for giving false hope to both Pravat and himself.
"I wish my wounds would be terminally unhealing if you treated me like this," Pravat murmurs, reflecting a hint of pleasure in his voice.
Feeling heavy in the chest, Tiwa closes his eyes and lets out a single drop of tears, which describes how much it hurts him. Not wanting to suffer any longer, he moves away, even if Pravat doesn't agree with it, and steps back away from the bed in case the alpha tries to grab him again.
"Take care," Tiwa mutters, glancing back once and turning toward the door.
"Be careful on this tour!" Pravat yells and warns again before Tiwa is completely out of sight.
Tiwa stops and turns back from where he's standing out in the hallway before escaping from Pravat's sight without giving a verbal response. There's no need because Pravat can understand what Tiwa wants to say from just his looks. Tiwa will never care about anything when Pravat shadows him 24/7.