Dialing Jayda's number as I got on the elevator I prayed that I could reach her as the phone tried to connect but I was sent to voicemail after a couple minutes of ringing. Getting nervous I tried once more as I stepped off the elevator into the main lobby when I heard her phone ringing so I looked around to see where it was coming from and saw her talking to someone. I decided to hang up and send her a quick message and went out the front doors. As I stood there and checked my messages to see if I had other missed mesaages I heard someone calling my dead name. Annoyed I looked around to see my ex approaching. She's always had a smug expression when we were together since she always believed she knew everything about anything. Instead I sucked up the annoyance I felt and turned to face her.
"Hey Alex." I said below a whisper. I really didn't want to see here again. I prayed I woukd never see her again. "What do you want?"
She was wearing her usual grunge inspired casual outfit she had decided was a way to bridge our fashion gap so she'd can feel less embarrassed by being seen by me in public.
"Oh come now," she said in that voice that once made me won't to submit to her but now it irritates me to death. "I knew it had to be you when I saw you exiting this building looking like that time your puppy ran away."
"Cut to the chance will you? Believe it or not I got things to do." I stated not hiding my annoyance in my tone.
"Whoa, why the hostile attitude?" She asked condescendingly. "What's the crime for coming over to make sure you're okay?"
"Don't forget that I know you, Alex." I reminded her as I shifted uncomfortablely. "That happens when you spend nearly ten years with someone in your bed."
Mocking the look of her feelings getting hurt she then smiled as she leaned in and spoke with the venomous words I remembered hearing when she left me. "I promised to be there the moment you felt like things were going downhill to remind you of what you lost. And it seems that I was right to assume I would be since here you are, ready to cry as you sink down into despair."
I almost burned into tears and walked away when I felt a hand on my right hip and the feeling of being held by someone on my left as they raised my left arm up and around their shoulders. I looked over as a single tear roles down my left cheek to see Jayda standing by me glaring at Alex.
"Is there a problem here cutie?" She asked as she smiled at me. I didn't know what to make of this but I was happy, more like overflowing with joy that she came to my rescue. It was then I finally noticed that I was shaking and didn't realize that I was about to crumble to the ground.
Alex stood up straight and glared between Jayda and me. Resting her eyes on Jayda but addressing me confused but trying to hold back her annoyance of being interrupted. "And who's this, Leon?"
Jayda looking confused she looked at me wondering if I was who she was referring to I looked away and nodded. It was then I got a glimpse of how the CEO of this amazing music record company could how she would step in for the sake of her employees. In one smooth move Jayda had put me behind her and in front of Alex glaring at her. "If you know what's good for you, you'll leave from in front of my building before I have security escort you to the other side of the road, Ms." Looking up at Jayda shocked then back at Alex, who was turning red with rage I got scared and grabbed Jayda's arm and lightly tugged.
"Please, not here…" I begged, then got between them and looked at Alex who began to smirk thinking she won because I intervened. "Alex, please, go. You made your point and you got your full of my misery. You of all people know right now isnt the time to bring a lot of attention on you."
Scoffing Alex turned her nose up at me and sighed. "Shocker you're right. What, yiu keeoing tabs on me?"
Looking down I shock my head slowly. "No, an article came up on my phone about you and I know right now, if you got into it with anyone with the spotlight on them like my boss, you'd end up losing everything." Alex looked at me as if she was genuinely shocked that I had been aware of her endeavors since she left. "Yes, Alex, like I said; an article about you popped up on my news app. Don't get the wrong idea though. I didn't try to find you or anything." I looked in her eyes and I still couldn't believe what I saw in her hidden emotions. "You look like you're ready to praise and hit me at the same time…."
Looking down at me she scoffed at my direction while look up her nose at me. "You don't even deserve that much attention, fake ass poser."
After hearing that it was like I was mentally pulled into that moment when brainiac helped Dreamer in the Supergirl show from the CW channel. Jayda hand me behind her and started cocking her hand back as she was about to punch her dead in her lips. "Jayda, no! Don't risk your company's image over her!" Jayda looked back at me and I could tell she was both concerned and confused. "Yes, I know how this sounds but I'm not trying to protect her. I'm trying to protect…." I faltered for a second because I wasn't sure what we were so I had to come up with something. Between telling her either 'I wanted to protect you because I love you, not her!' or 'your company image might make things harder for your employees if you punch her in public' and the ladder sounded safer since she let Rebecca also nearly touch her like I did in my house when I caught them in the elevator on my way inside to go to my post. If I'm not the only person she's nearly had sex with then clearly we're nothing more than subordinates with benefits. But when she heard me say those words her eyes glistened with more confusion and hurt took the place of concerned. I looked at her with pleading eyes, silently begging she doesn't risk her career for something like this. Reluctantly, Jayda moved away while taking deep breaths whike Alex looked at us smugly. Feeling satisfied with the turmoil she's caused Alex walked away while pulling her brunette hair back, draping it over her back as she walked back across the street, got into her car and left. As we stood there in silence I looked down and stared at the ground unsure of what to do now.
"Hey, don't let that bitch get to you." Jayda tried comforting me but I felt so bad things ended up this way. Stepping forward she tried placing her hand on my arm. "Are you going to be okay?"
Looking up at her I held the hand on my arm and nodded. "I will be. I'm sorry for that mess earlier."
"No, that's fine. Some people are just assholes and there's nothing we can do about it." sliding her hand down my arm she grabbed my hand and pulled me to her limo she had waiting for us. "Come on, we are behind schedule now. Got time to make up." As we climbed in her limo I slid to the furthest side of the seat to the other end while Jayda had slid closer to me as her driver pulled off. Putting her arm around me I sat leaned against her side. "Do you mind explaining what that was about though?"
I looked at her contemplating if telling her was a good idea or not I sighed figuring that it would be for the best. "That was my ex, Alex. She's the girl that held me back from expressing myself because she saw us as a future power couple where she held all the power but wanted the title of best couples of this age. When we last spoke I told her I can't keep living in misery because she had a dream that only benefited her. She called me similar names like that one you heard and started throwing things at me while telling me I wasn't worth anything without her."
Jayda's hand began rubbing my left arm as she tightened her hold around me. "You know that isn't true though, right?" Nodding, I looked at her with a small smile as her comforting me pushes away any negitivity. I don't know what it is about Jayda and how she makes me feel like crying my troubles and worries away. When she speaks to me in her warm and soothing voice I just melt into the fantasies I keep having.
"Yeah, I know." I tell her with a shaky breath. We both knew she could tell I'm still trying to cope with the the sudden disturbance from Alex.
"Okay, enough!" She suddenly declared as she squeezes my shoulders withbher arm. "Today was a bit hectic during work for us both and now this. We're giing to over come this with some major shopping. What do you say?"
Looking at her with a smile I nodded, feeling grateful for her attempts to change the mood. "That woukd be great, thanks."
When her limo stops she slid towards her door and opened it. As she climbed out I turned my head to not stare at her backside as I slowly slide over to climb out after. When I got closer to step my foot out I looked out theough the opened door to find Jayda's hand in my face. Looking up at her confused I saw her smiling at me and Whike hokding out her hand. "Come on, we're burning daylight."
It's moments like these that makes me fall deeper into my wish that she and I would become something, anything, more than whatever we are. I took her hand and as she gently pulled my hand out to help me climbed out. After I stepped out I looked up at the building in front of me in awe. I stood there mesmerized I hadn't realized that Jayda hasn't taken her hand back until she pulled me along as I blushed for a moment until I found out where she was pulling me to.
"Hold on, Ms. Sparks!"
"What's the matter?" She asked with a confusion .
"I don't have the money to get even a pair of underwear from here."
"Oh come now. You say that as if I wasn't treating you." She said without skipping a beat with the biggest smile I have ever seen on her lips since I first started working for her. As Jayda dragged me along with her throughout the whole store she took out a lot of dresses until we found the one we both liked. "Oh my god. This is super cute! Okay you have to try this one on." She exclaimed excitedly as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me along towards the changing rooms. It was was beautiful dress and way too much I could afford right now.
"Oh, 'pish-posh', as the British used to say." She looked at me smiling.
"Wait, did you just use a stereotypical saying or is that a proven fact?" I asked while looking confused as I tried to think of the right answer to that. Having an ancestry that has English roots was amazing to know at first because of my fondness of the Victorian age as well as my love for the Victorian Goth and the Romantic Goth fashion. After I learned that my Celtic side had some prejudices against them I wondered if that's true with the stuff that was presented to us as children about the English. Just as I was about to come to realize how messed up my childhood was while growing up Jayda had cut in and it was then I realized I had been quiet for a long time when she asked,
"Hey, did you space out on me?" she sounded concerned again.
Why does she always sound concerned when she doesn't even seem like she doesn't want a serious relationship? In my years of being in relationships that were just people trying to use me for the little I could give to them to just take it all away once they leave me with nothing when they move on to someone else that could give them more, I'm starting to also wonder if I've just allowed myself to become a fuck buddy for my boss.
"Hey, Ms Sparks," I asked to get her attention. "May I ask you something about…. Our outing today?"
"Oh sure, sweetie." She happily agreed as she turned on her side facing me in that red bikini. I once again tried to hide my sudden stare at her body as she moved. Every thing she's doing has made my mind go crazy with trying to respect her comfortability to show her body without being fantasized about, and trying to find ways to ask her if we're just friends with benefits. Then I start to realize I don't even know what we really are to each other. "What's on your mind?"
"I'm sorry if this seems a bit, or a lot of, crazy, and/or, uncomfortable to ask this," I rambled on like a nerves teen about to ask out their highschool crush. "But what exactly are we to each other?" Jayda looked so far taken aback by my question I started to feel a sudden surge of anxiety and I start to feel uncomfortable myself. Sitting up I start to gather my things in a bit of panic, trying to escape what I thought was going to be impending doom.
"Whoa, Lucy, what's going on here?" She asked sounding shocked which shocked me as well.
When I turned around and saw the confusion on her face I put everything down and sat back down, looking at her while I tried to speak. "I can explain…."
She sat up folding her thin beach cortigone over her body as she looked at me. "What's going on with you? Ever since your ex showed up today you seem to be on edge."
Unsure if I should tell her what I was expecting since we started messing around without getting physical I decided to give her parts of the truth that'll still give her insight on what's going on with me. "It's just that, with everything going on, I'm just confused about everything."
"Confused about what?" She asked in her soft and warm voice that really makes me wish there were more between us. "Come on, you can tell me."
"I just don't want to mess with anything and cause issues for everyone."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean…." Pausing I recollected my thoughts before I said something wrong. "I mean, besides what happened earlier today, everything is going in a different direction. Some of it good and others very confusing." When Jayda was silent for a second I looked up at her and saw that confusion had once again twisted her face. Sighing I decided to come clean. "Ever since meeting you at my house that day and we nearly got physical right before work started I tried to relay how I felt about you but every time I got the courage to confess to you I see you with someone else and I can't help but think I was just fooling myself."
"Wait," She asked sounding like she's finally realizing my attentions. "Are you saying what I think you are?"
"Yes, I am…" Jayda feel silent again but this time there wasn't confusion on her face. This time she was looking at me with a blank expression.
"Right…." I exclaimed as I picked up my things feeling like I made everything awkward now. "I appreciate you taking the time to tell me those stores today. I'll see you the time when we meet." Walking around her poolside I headed to the front of her house as I dialed up my back up driver to come pick me up. Jayda didn't try to stop me this nor tried to offer any words of rejection or confirmation to my feelings. Somehow that was way worse than being rejected upfront.