As I walked through the front door of my home I could smell the aroma coming from the kitchen and it sent a nostalgic memory of a time when I would come home from playing with my friends outside and my mom would have dinner ready for me and my dad when heceoukd come back late from his job. I saw Julie coming around the corner of the kitchen wiping her hands on a hand towel. "Welcome back, Ms. Furr. How was your day at work?" Julie greeted me with a smile that made my heart jump. She's always had that affect on me. It's one of the reasons I'm out so much looking for a lover. I've tried to do the whole dating app thing but it just wasn't producing any satisfactory results. It just keeps validating my hate towards those that were assigned male at birth. I specifically said I'm not interested in them in my bios but they act like they can't read. But Julie always calmed me down just by smiling and she doesn't even know it. That's the type of effect she has on me and probably so many others.
"It was tiring but eventful nonetheless."
"Oh and what happened to make it eventful?"
"Well," I started to explain everything right there but after pausing for a bit I decided to wait an instead said, "I guess that's a wonderful discussion to have over dinner if you're willing to sit and eat with me tonight. Is that okay with you?"
"Oh yes, the food is almost ready." Julie scurries back into the kitchen with her smile still apparent in her steps. I could hear pots on the stove being stirred and the oven opening to add another wonderful aroma to the air.
Walking into to the kitchen I stumbled across the most beautiful display of food on the counters. Julie had made some of her twists of my favorite foods, this time it was lasagna with strong bean casserole and buttery muffin top buns. I don't know how she does it but when she makes the dishes where there's no crusted edges. I loved the crusted edges, especially with my lasagna, but her twists make it worth not complaining about because her seasoning skills aren't just top notch but on a level that even the top chiefs should sweat over. As we plated our food and sat at the table to eat I respectfully waited in silence for her to finish her prayers then we began to eat. As we started to munch away I got lost in the flavors whenJulie had swallowed her first bite as I did and asked again what happened at work. Taking a sip of my sparkling grape cider I looked at her and responded.
"There was a small incident where when I got to work I found Ms. Sparks in the elevator with another woman making out. I felt uncomfortable so instead of going to canteen for lunch I started walking to the garage to go out and eat."
Julie's eyes was wide in shock when I paused from the rest of the story. "Is that, normal here?"
After thinking on it for a bit I shook my head. "Not usually but you do hear people finding out things like this on really rare occasions. It's typically not supposed to happen but when it does it usually comes with a lot of chaos to keep things out of the media or even making it tough for those involved to keep their jobs or titles."
Nodding to every word I said she kept quiet and listened intently. When I finished recounting my day Julie had nearly finished her plate and was refilling her glass of the sparkling liquid. When she returned she sat silent for a bit as I finished my bite of food and asked, "What are you going to do in this situation?"
Looking at her I just shrugged. "I'm not sure. It's evident that Jayda doesn't really want me to blow this everywhere so I'm going to ask you to keep this between us. I'm not looking to make my life at work harder to live outside of my job. Exposing them would expose me and maybe ruin my own chances at having a successful career in my chosen profession."
Nodding once again she flashed her heart jumping smile at me again and said. "I understand. Thank you with trusting me with this information. I'll tell not a living soul."
By that she means she'll only pray about these things if not just talk to herself about it when she's alone. Feeling like I couldn't get any luckier I get a phone call and Julie was curious but didn't ask. She could tell that I was just as confused so I walked to my purse I had left in the entrance hallway between my kitchen and the front door and I took out my phone checking the caller ID when my curiosity was replaced with a mix of shock and sadness. Standing there looking at Julie I placed my index finger on my lips towards Julie and answered it.
"Hello, this is Lucy speaking, how may I help you?"
"Hey, Lucy!" Jayda responded back with some noticable excitement in her voice. "I'm so happy to get a hold of you. It's Jayda and I was hoping to ask you to reconsider my offer from earlier."
Confused I asked, "I'm assuming from the time I was in your office before I left. Could you remind me of which offer you're referring to? There were so many topics discussed that they all kind of blended together."
I heard her giggling quietly to herself before answering. "The one where I was asking you to go out on the town with me."
"Oh," I stated not remembering that topic being brought up. "was there an offer like that where work was involved? If so I do apologize to have neglected in responding back. I don't remember answering any questions related to that."
"No, I was just offering to go out as friends or co-workers even."
"Ah well, I'm sorry Ms. Sparks but I can't really do that. I am trying to not mix business with pleasure at the moment. Plus I'm having dinner right now with someone so if you wanted to go out tonight I wouldn't be able to." When Julie heard that she turned around and walked back into the kitchen. As I followed her unsure of why Jayda was right in my ear asking questions with complete shock and something else I could've sworn I knew but couldn't figure out now.
"Wait what? Who are you having dinner with?" You could tell she asked this in the heat of the moment because as soon as she finished I heard her yelp which made her end our call abruptly.
Walking back to the kitchen with my phone still in my hand by my side I saw that Julie was packing up the food. "What's, uhh, what's happening right now?"
Looking back up to me she held her smile as if nothing just happened. "You should call her back and tell her you'd be honored to have her take you out. She could help you get new clothes that would fit that event you were invited to." She says pointing to the open invitation on the table that I was for sure I hadn't left there when I left.
"How did you find that?" I asked questioning when or how she could've gotten that from my purse.
"You left it on the dresser in the hallway we were just in and I picked it up and looked at it when you were busy talking to Ms. Sparks. As your helper I felt I should help you with this barrier you're trapped behind."
"That's definitely not in your job description but I can't argue and say that I don't want this to happen for me because going to that event would give me opportunities that coukd further my career so I'll let it slide." I said smiling over her above and beyond work ethic. "Thank you, Julie."
As she nodded I redialed Ms. Sparks number I walked back the the hallway near the front door hoping she'll answer. When she did pick up, before she could say anything, I jumped in and said, "Yes." It took her a while to respond but when she finally did it was a question because I know that single word confused her and threw her off.
"Yes to what?"
"Yes, I'll go out with you as co-workers and we could go to some shops and find me a new dress and other accessories I'll need for this fancy event you had invited me to." There was silence for a while but then she finally spoke.
"What's with the sudden change in decision?" She asked sounding more unsure than I have ever heard since working with her. I don't think I can blame her but I just gave her what she wanted so now I'm confused.
"I just wanted to change my mind." I slightly lied as I informed her. It was partially true because if I didn't want to do something I'd fight tooth and nail but because I didn't want to go to this event and as Julie made it clear that Jayda could help I chose to accept her reasoning and changed my mind. "It accord to me that if I want to try and attend this work function event I need to come looking like I want to be there and having you help me pick out what I would need would be in my best interest to take the offer before the window closed."
After contemplating my response she responded back with a lighter, almost happier, voice. "Okay, I can accept that. Most shops I would take you to will be closing by the time we get there so why not change the outing for tomorrow instead?"
"That's actually sounds like a better plan. So tomorrow after work then?"
"Yes, it'll be…" she trails off and I think I know what she was going to say when she stopped herself.
"Thank you for catching that." I said feeling relieved.
"Yeah, I'm sure I'll have to work on that but I'll make sure tomorrow will be fun with no interruptions."
"Okay, well you have a good night Ms. Sparks. I'll see you tomorrow."
When I went back to the kitchen Julie had put the food away. I walked up beside her gently placing my hand on her shoulder and smiled at her. "You don't need to put anything away Julie. I had made the plans to go with Ms. Sparks tomorrow after work. So could we sit back down to finish eating?"
She looked at me with a hint of happiness and nodded still smiling and I felt the guilt that had slyly creeped in of our moment getting cut short vanish. Putting everything she drug out on the counter next to the food for later use we both sat down at the table and ate a second helping of her delicious lasagna dinner.
When she'd look at me I'd catch her eyes on mine and her sadness from me not being here with her child she left back home kept catching at my heartstrings.
"Why won't you let me get your daughter a visa?" I asked unable to hold back my thoughts now. "It wouldn't be any issue."
She just smiled my comment away and kept eating until she had little left nothing on her plate while I practically picked at my food. I had no right to feel this sadness of not being unable to give away my offer. In reality, I already knew that the issue wasn't if it would be any problems for me or not, it was of being able to be proud that she got her daughter over here on her own merit. She's as strong willed as she is beautiful.
She's just this perfect mom I wished my dad was. It's an unspoken understanding that I don't like him when he left my mom and me to chase after another woman. I don't know if he even knew mom died over their break up due to his selfishness but since I was eighteen when she passed from her heart giving out my dad didn't even try to comfort me. He was just as toxic as all the other deep southern men where. The great southern hospitality was given to everyone as long as you looked like them. It's why I moved away from the south and got a degree to follow a dream that was pulling me from those bigot assholes. I felt guilty for being born in the wrong place so I started rejecting everything and even hated my accent. Now that I'm starting my third decade I'm learning how to let go of self hate and just accept my past wasn't my choice and focused on making my future something I'm proud of. I worked hard to be better than those who had closed themselves off from the world that our ancestors brought into our lives because they wanted too much than what they could handle alone.
After I finished my food I pushed my selfish thoughts of trying to shove my hospitality onto someone who's accepted enough to be happy already away. Pushing the chair from underneath me as I stood up I walked to the kitchen sink with my dirty dishes and rinsed them off. Placing the dishes in the dishwasher I shut the door and went to my room to have another lonely night in my bed.
Next morning I woke up like usual. Checked myself out in the body length mirror, took a shower, did my hygiene and got dressed for the day. Except today was a bit different. Instead of my usual dark alternative street clothes I put together this nice casual date looking outfit. I grabbed my best looking lingerie set that was red silk with black lace cloth that decorated the entire set, pulled on some fishnet leggings then put on the lingerie set, got my black and red heels I had on the first day I started working at Fierce and Bold, slid on my black thigh length dress that had white skulls in the army camouflage style then slipped on my thin punk rocker jacket that was very stereotypically designed but it was beautiful in my eyes so I bought it. The sleeves of the jacket didn't even pass my elbows but that was what made it perfect because now I can show off my leather and chain bracelets. Housing some very alternative type rings on my fingers and pentagram earrings then walked to look at myself in the body length mirror and what I saw made me happy. I decided that even if I wasn't going on a date with Jayda I would definitely make her wish she chose me over her pride.
Walking out of my room onto the marble floors started to get on my nerves with how loud and echoy it is when I walk in my heels. Exercising my well power to not get upset over this as I walk down the steps I looked to the door to find Julie walking past with a bucket and mop. Confused I asked, "Julie, honey, what happened?"
She stopped and looked at me with widen eyes. "Ms. Furr, you look so different."
Blushing all I could do was smile. "I'll take that as a compliment. Why do you have a mop and a bucket?"
Looking at her hands then back at me as I reached the end of the steps I walked on the carpet I had installed over to her and and smiled. "There was a spill on the floor in the living room so I decided to take care of it."
Eyeing her suspiciously I chuckled. "Okay, well thank you for cleaning it up. You can have the rest of the day off. I'll eat the leftovers from last night's dinner tonight so you can have the whole day to yourself."
Beaming with joy I could tell she was waiting for another day like this. "Thank you, Ms. Furr. I'll be a call away if you need me."
Knowing I wouldn't call her she practically skipped to put the mop and bucket away and rushed out the door with her purse and keys in hand. It left a smile on my face when she bolted out the door looking forward to spending some time over the phone with her daughter. As I grabbed my keys and left for work I wondered if I'll ever get the chance to have my own child that'll help brighten my day like that.